-Lysander | he/him | (24) |- Wake: Yer fond of me lobster aint’ ye? I seen it -- yer fond of me lobster! Say it! Say it. Say it! Winslow: I don’t have to say nothin’. Wake: Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead Winslow! HAAARK! Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til’ ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more -- only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin’ tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye -- a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself -- forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea! Winslow: Alright, have it your way. I like your cookin’.
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tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
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please please does anybody have the “i love my this” image please i can’t find it anywhere i’m getting desperate
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I’m watching The Big Bang Theory in its natural setting—playing in the background of a hot spiral room—and I can say within that specific context, it is a very charming show. Like the saltine crackers of media.
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son we pray to the Pork Clock in this household
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the biggest problem with writing fantasy in english is that there's really no alternate universe phrasing that carries the exact tone and context to the reader as "jesus fucking christ"
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hey bro can i ask you a question that will reveal a deep and fundamental gap in my knowledge of the world
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(gesturing towards your little sister) you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?
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a buddy cop action movie but instead of an uptight public servant/street smart cool guy combo it’s about an anarchist and a leninist
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one of the most frustrating things about getting a job is that after you go through the absolute hellscape that is applying and interviewing and you finally prove yourself worthy of having employment, you'll end up in the workforce and realise that 90% of the people with jobs are not actually very good at them. so like why was all of that even so hard
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