greatesthitz

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popping in here for a sec just to say. mandy stoddard.

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Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu in Beef (S02E01) The Bear (2022-present)

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KNEE-DEEP IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, I LAY DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ...

#CRUSHSUNG: ind. original character roleplay blog. written by dillon. triggering themes will be present. mutuals only, minors do not interact.

... CONCRETE HOLDING HEAT FROM THE DAYTIME, PICKING PETALS JUST TO SEE IF YOU WILL BE MINE.

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update: hi, i've been preoccupied with alice these days, so find me over there. i'm also starting a new class in a couple days, so that's going to take up most of my time for a bit. at some point when that's all over, i'll do a revamp of this blog because i feel incredibly messy here and that is just not acceptable to me. thanks for being patient, the gang will be back soon.

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KNEE-DEEP IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, I LAY DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ...

#CRUSHSUNG: ind. original character roleplay blog. written by dillon. triggering themes will be present. mutuals only, minors do not interact.

... CONCRETE HOLDING HEAT FROM THE DAYTIME, PICKING PETALS JUST TO SEE IF YOU WILL BE MINE.

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he doesn't look nice. he looks rundown, exhausted - although maybe that's not all that different how he was back then too. maybe she just doesn't see it, or is simply too kind to take note. still, he takes the compliment graciously, hoping that his own smile hides it well enough.

there are very few things jamie missed about home, but olympia was all the best parts of it. their youth was fraught, but filled with childlike wonder of their own design. even the woods, despite their looming darkness within those trees, are sorely missed just for those few moments of tranquility. he thinks of the three of them, running around, feral and wild in their escape. they had no cares back then. some things were easier.

it does him no good to dwell too long. jamie reminds himself it's over now, to let those things stay buried. he reverts his gaze back to olympia, shakes his head. "nah, not really. i mean, i get to listen to the music - that's pretty nice. they tell me i can get free beer, but i don't drink, so it's kind of pointless." he pauses at that. "do you want a drink? someone might as well take advantage."

𝐢𝐭'𝐬  𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐨  𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝.   this  is  something  olympia's  gotten  good  at.   she  feels  more  comfortable  this  way,  ignoring  the  harshness  of  reality  and  the  tragedies  she's  faced.   the  truth  is  like  a  jaw.   she  fears  it'll  shut  and  snap  her  in  half  if  she  tries  to  go  near  it.   it's  easier  to  pretend  when  it  comes  to  ellie.   in  the  back  of  her  mind,  she  knows  the  truth,  but  in  the  forefront,  she  pretends  ellie's  still  somewhere  out  there,  deep  in  the  woods,  running  wild.   with  her  parents,  it's  a  truth  she  can't  run  from.

she  can't  blame  jamie  for  leaving  and  never  keeping  in  touch.   it  must  be  hard  for  him,  too.   this,  she  can  understand.   ellie's  the  tether  between  the  two  of  them.   even  if  olympia  adores  jamie  on  his  own,  even  if  she,  too,  considers  him  her  own  brother,  it'll  always  be  because  of  ellie.   now  that  she's  gone,  the  tether  is  still  there,  just  in  a  different  way.   they'll  always  be  the  ones  who  were  left,  always  the  ones  who  never  got  to  say  goodbye.   they'll  always  be  a  reminder  of  what  they  lost  to  each  other.

it's  been  so  long.   she's  always  wondered  what  he  was  doing  away  from  their  small  little  town  with  little  minds.   more  importantly,  she  wonders  if  he  found  happiness  in  the  way  she's  always  hoped  he  would.   in  a  way,  he  reminds  her  of  herself.   rolling  with  the  tide,  trying  to  stay  afloat.   what  do  you  call  being  homesick  without  a  home  to  return  to?   what  do  you  call  it  when  you're  waiting  for  a  little  bird  to  lead  you  back  knowing  it'll  never  come?

“   thanks.   you  look  nice,  too.   ”   the  smile  is  still  present.   he  doesn't  look  much  different  from  the  last  time  she'd  seen  him.   but  she's  just  happy  to  be  seeing  him  at  all.   “   hey,  the  dirty  work  is  a  noble  profession.   ”   what  would  she  know  about  that?   “   do  they  give  you  any  cool  perks?   ”

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"that's a good way to do it. or so i hear." she's not a writer or an artist. that's joanie and pauline's thing.

"i tried having diaries in middle school. always ended up writing about the crush of the week, that kind of thing. it got boring after awhile. your stuff's probably better."

"that's nice. that they're nice to me and stuff."

"i dunno. i just put whatever's in my head down so i don't get stuck blurting shit out."

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gonna do a revamp of the pages and tags soon. this is just a reminder for myself so i actually do it.

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KNEE-DEEP IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, I LAY DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ...

#CRUSHSUNG: ind. original character roleplay blog. written by dillon. triggering themes will be present. mutuals only, minors do not interact.

... CONCRETE HOLDING HEAT FROM THE DAYTIME, PICKING PETALS JUST TO SEE IF YOU WILL BE MINE.

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lydia text posts

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the closest thing we have in the real world to a liddell song... timefighter by l.ucy d.acus

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the thing about alice is she's unknowable. you already know everything about her. none it's true. some of it's true. she tells you nothing about herself in conversation. she tells you everything about herself in writing. she craves intimacy. she wants you far away from her. she's a bad liar. she's been lying all her life and she doesn't know how to stop. she's a walking contradiction. she's sally draper from mad men saying "i'm so many people".

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one day i'll talk about the fact that at least two well known artists have written songs about alice. (yes, one of those artists is adam.)

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1989 (from the vault) sentence starters.

what if all i need is you?

love to think you'll never forget.

i'll pay the price, you won't.

but if i'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us.

if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.

if i'm going to be drunk, might as well be drunk in love.

everyone wants him. that was my crime.

we'll pay the price, i guess.

you're not saying you're in love with me.

it might blow up in your pretty face.

i'm not saying "do it anyway," but you're going to.

we're a shot in the darkest dark.

i'm holding out hope for you to say, "don't go."

i would stay forever if you say "don't go."

why'd you have to lead me on?

why'd you have to twist the knife?

why'd you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night?

you kiss me and it stops time.

i'm yours, but you're not mine.

i was trying to see the cards that you won't show.

why'd you have to give me nothing back?

why'd you have to make me love you?

i said, "i love you," you say nothing back.

did you get anxious though, on the way home?

from the outside, it looks like you're trying lives on.

i miss the old ways, you didn't have to change.

i cannot be your friend, so i pay the price of what i lost.

truth is, i can't pretend it's platonic, it's just ended.

guess maybe i am better off now that we don't talk.

the only way back to my dignity was to turn into a shrouded mystery.

you were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious.

i didn't come here to make friends.

when you hold me, it holds me together.

you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever.

you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out.

i know that you still remember.

i broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it.

you don't knock anymore, and my whole life's ruined.

you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor.

you search in every maiden's bed for something greater.

baby, was it over then?

and is it over now?

did you think i didn't see you?

at least i had the decency to keep my nights out of sight.

oh lord, i think about jumping off of very tall somethings, just to see you come running.

if she's got blue eyes, i will surmise that you'll probably date her.

i was hoping you'd be there.

i was hoping you'd be there, and say the one thing i've been wanting, but no.

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alice brennan. don't you know people write songs about girls like you? (mutuals/partners can reblog.)

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Ashton Sanders in NATIVE SON (2019), directed by Rashid Johnson.

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really good news. i got accepted into a class at our local college that going to be going on for about six weeks, so starting on the 14th, my activity may be a bit more scarce. i'll try to be around as much as possible, but no promises.