greensoulcat - Tumblr blog

[greensoulcat]

If I close my eyes

I still hear the sounds of your symphonies

Shaking the whole ground

A twist and turning magic

Your strings all through me, until I was tied and perfectly bound for you

To take hold of me

And you'd take all

You'd take hold of me.

[greensoulcat]

We could be a melody full of imprefections and flaws, but also one of laughter, wonder and happiness.

I would play it on repeat.

Sometimes you have to count the good days, you have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you.

So I'm putting today in my pocket..

[greensoulcat]

There is an empty room inside me that echoes your name.

My fondest memories have grown jealous of the space you take up in my mind.

[greensoulcat]

[greensoulcat]

[greensoulcat]

[greensoulcat]

There is a "big" problem that I keep trying to fix and with every fail I continue to drown deeper and deeper. I seem to be in a phase where I do not enjoy my Avatar anymore, where I constantly feel anxious...

I close my eyes and I see no solutions, just a voice that screams " this will be/bring the end of you".

And I am afraid of this voice, so I struggle some more, close my eyes and tighten my feelings, and remeber that it will always be my choice.

It will be my choice to see only the darkness. Even when I reach rock bottom... there will always be a reason to keep trying to stay afloat.

I just have to find it...

please find it.

[greensoulcat]

And so there are nights when I dream of you and I don't wanna wake up.

It has a happy and cozy feeling, this dreamland of mine.

And you hug me all the time.

[greensoulcat]

Will I ever have the warmth of a home of my own?

With a family who surround me not just bricks, wood & stone

Will I ever hold them dearly in my arms as mine?

Will I ever have a home? Or will I live through life alone?

Cause I can't see a future for me but I'll keep the light on..

[greensoulcat]

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. And her perspective was now open to uncertainty. And where there was uncertainty there was also possibility, whatever the present looked like.

[greensoulcat]

Because life is frightening and it is frightening for a reason, and the reason is that it does not matter which branch of a life we get to live, we are always the same rotten tree. I wanted to be many things in my life. All kinds of things. But if your life is rotten, it will be rotten no matter what you do. The damp rots the whole useless thing...

[greensoulcat]

[greensoulcat]

[greensoulcat]

I want to take a leaf out of your book.

[greensoulcat]

You have the sun inside

Let it warm you.

[greensoulcat]

Distance means so little when someone means so much..