gretavant-garde - Tumblr blog

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Text

I AM AN ABSOLUTE MESS ON TEARS I AM SOBBING WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW. for real, this fic was so good and made me feel so many things. i am sad it’s over but I will always appreciate it! thank you to the writers, em & hannah <3 - 🧿

Instigator - Josh Kiszka

In collaboration with - @screechesincoherently

Masterlist

——— Go Words - 3036 Warnings: Swearing, this made Hannah cry (that doesn’t happen often), NSFW 18+ Content, Oral (f.receiving), Fingering ———

— Graduation —

“Wake up angel, we have to get ready.” Josh said, leaning down to press a kiss to Y/n’s cheek.

“I don’t wanna.” She mumbled, turning to shove her face into the pillow.

“Sorry babe, but it’s time.” He replied, pulling the covers off of her and turning to get changed.

“Why? I just wanna sleep. Do I really need to be there?”

“Y/n we’re graduating, yes you need to be there.”

“It’s gonna take so long. All we’re doing is getting a piece of paper.” She groaned, turning onto her back and looking over at him.

“I know, but you’ve got people coming to watch you get your diploma. Plus you finally get to meet my parents.” Josh said, a bright smile overtaking his face.

“Do I finally get to tell your mom about all the shit you’ve done?” She asked with a mischievous grin.

“Please don’t— I have a reputation to uphold.”

“You have more than just one apparently.”

“Would you like me to tell your parents about all the shit you’ve done?”

“It could never amount to your list.”

“Great, I’m sure your mother would love to hear all about every public space I’ve fucked you in then.” He said, a challenging tone in his voice as he stepped towards the bed.

“She probably would. She’d say ‘Well at least you had fun’.”

“I like your mom already. Now get your ass out of bed before I pull you out.”

“You won’t.”

Josh walked over to the bed, wrapping his hands around her ankles and pulling her to the end of the mattress.

“You sure about that sweetheart?”

“You know, I’ve always loved looking at you from this angle.” Josh said, looking down at her with a smirk.

“You’re not too bad from this angle either.”

“You know what would really be some motivation to get up?”

“What would that would that be?”

“Your mouth.”

Josh looked at her, then pulled his phone out of his pocket to look at the time.

“Alright, we’ve got a bit of time.” He said, throwing his phone onto the pile of clothing he had placed on her chair.

“Thank god.”

“So desperate this morning Angel.” Josh said, grabbing her by the hips and tossing her higher up the bed before crawling over to her.

“Only when you wake me up.”

“I’m going to have to start waking you up more often.” He said, sliding her panties down her legs.

“Please do.”

Josh smirked up at her as he lowered himself to her thighs, peppering kisses from her knee up before switching to the other leg.

“Josh.”

“Yes angel?”

“We don't have that much time.”

“I know we don’t. I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you now, why don’t you prove it?”

“Did I not prove it enough last night?” He asked with his brows furrowed at her.

“Josh, last night we got high and fucked on the couch while watching Scooby-Doo, I don’t think that applies to this situation.” She retaliated, propping herself on her elbows to watch him.

“How does it not apply?”

“This is a timely matter Josh, we have to leave for commencement soon.”

“Were you not the one who was just complaining about not wanting to go?”

“Yes. Now I’m horny and impatiently waiting for you to work your magic so that we can get ready to go.”

Josh slowly trailed his hands up Y/n’s thighs, disappearing beneath the hem of the shirt she wore to sleep. He let his hands massage her thighs slightly before pushing his arms beneath her legs, lifting up her lower half.

“My magic you say, I guess I could do that.”

He pressed kisses inside her legs, achingly close to her pussy. He licked long lines where her legs met her hips, and sucked gently on the areas.

“Josh please.”

He moved one of his hands to slowly rub circles over her clit, occasionally dragging his fingers down to gather more slick before working around the sensitive area again. Hovering his mouth closer to her core, she bucked her hips up to meet his face, but he pulled his head back before contact was made.

“Good things come to those who wait baby.”

“I don’t wanna wait.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“What I want, is for you to eat me out so good that I can barely walk to grab my diploma.”

His face dove into her pussy, tongue slipping through her folds, mouth wrapping around her.

“Fuck Josh— just like that”

He applied more pressure with his tongue, contrasting the feeling of him sucking around her clit. He moved his hand to begin dancing around her entrance. He sucked the mixture of his spit and her arousal into his mouth, and moved his hand up to play between her folds and let the new combination fall back onto her.

“Jesus fuck— feels so good baby.”

He hummed around her in response before lifting his face away, gulping as he looked up at her.

“Taste so good, babygirl.” He kept his gaze on her face as his fingers dipped inside of her, turning and curling, hitting her g spot with ease.

A choked moan fell from her as she threw her head back against the pillow, one hand clenching the sheets and the other tangling in his curls.

“Tell me how good I’m making you feel, babygirl.”

The sound that escaped her sounded vaguely like ‘so good’ but the moan that overtook it made Josh smirk, quickening the pace of his fingers.

”Come on baby, use your words for me. You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

“Please don’t stop Josh— you make me feel so fucking good.”

“Keep talking babe. Let me hear your thoughts.”

“There are no thoughts Josh, it’s just you.”

“Only me?” Josh jerked his fingers upwards, palm crashing onto her clit.

“Only you—” She said, the pressure of his palm cutting her off and making her gasp.

“—always just you.”

“Good. Tell me when you’re gonna cum for me.”

“I’m so close Josh.”

His face dipped back in between her legs, licking another quick stripe up her folds and flicked around on her clit again, pushing her over the edge. He continued to slowly move his fingers, easing her through her climax, lifting his head to watch her lips part and her eyes flutter.

“So gorgeous, coming undone for me like this.”

He slowly pulled his fingers out of her, standing from the bed and giving her time to catch her breath. He pulled his button up shirt over his arms and grabbed his belt, looping it through his slacks. She turned her head, slowly pulled herself to a seated position at the end of the bed and reached her hands out for him.

“What’s up, angel?” He asked, stepping towards her.

She looked up at him, grabbing the edges of his shirt and pulling him closer before starting to button it up for him.

“Thank you.”

She smiled up at him, doing up the last couple buttons and running her hands down his chest.

“I love you.” She said, lifting herself to be level with him and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I love you too.”

They stayed in that position for a couple minutes before Josh took a step away from her.

“Let's get you ready Angel.” He said, putting a hand out for her to take.

— Post Commencement —

“You did it!” Sam said, running up to Jake, Josh and Y/n.

“Fuck yeah we did.” Jake said, throwing an arm around Y/n.

Josh wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked behind Sam towards where their parents were waiting for them.

“My babies!”

Josh let his arm slip from Y/n’s waist and he ran towards his mother, wrapping himself around her in a tight hug. Jake followed close behind, taking Josh’s place when he moved to hug his father.

“Aw, we got a couple of momma’s boys here.”

Josh turned and smiled at Y/n, walking up to her, grabbing her hand and dragging her over to his family.

“Is this Y/n?” His mom asked, looking at the two as they came to a stop in front of her.

“Hi Mrs. Kiszka. Nice to meet you.” Y/n said, giving her a smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you dear, please call me Karen— or mom.”

“Josh talks about you a lot. He really loves his momma.”

“He talks about you just as much honey, he really does love you too.”

“I’d hope so. He’s practically attached to my hip.”

Karen laughed at her statement, turning to look at Josh.

“Don’t let this one go Josh.” Karen said, giving Josh a stern look.

“I don’t plan on it.” Josh said, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder.

“I’d hope not.” Y/n murmured, leaning back against him.

“As long as you don’t leave me, you’re not going anywhere angel.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

— 1 year later —

Josh: Hey Angel

Y/n: Hi Joshy

Josh: How was your day?

Y/n: It was good! I have some really good news for when you come home later :)

Josh: Me too!

Y/n: Did you have a good day?

Josh: It was good, super long though, I miss you

Y/n: I’m sorry babe. I miss you too

Josh: I’m leaving now, I can’t wait to be home with you <3

Y/n: Drive safe, my love

Y/n was lounging on the couch when Josh got home, two glasses of wine on the table beside her ready for when he arrived.

“Angel, I’m home!”

“In the living room baby. Come get comfy.”

“Sounds tempting.”

“Good, I even got us wine to celebrate whatever good news we have to tell each other.”

“All I know is that I sense an exciting night ahead of us.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he plopped down next to her.

She laughed at him as she leaned forward, taking ahold of the glasses before moving back and holding one out for him.

“Alright, you first, what’s the good news?” She asked as he took the glass from her hand.

“I got a job offer for a big company, comes with a pay increase and benefits.” Josh said, a bright smile spreading across his cheeks.

“That’s so exciting baby!” Y/n said, her eyes lighting up at his news.

“Your turn now.”

“Okay, I also got offered a job—” She said, taking a sip of her wine.

“That’s amazing babe!”

“It’s so exciting Josh, it means I actually get to work with sound design, no more assisting.” Josh watched as she bounced up to sit on her knees as she spoke, clearly bursting with excitement.

“I’m so proud of you, you’re so talented.” He said, turning to kiss her temple.

“Says you, mr. big company man, you’re finally going to get to do everything you’ve been dreaming of.” She replied, bumping her shoulder against his.

“There’s another big thing I have to tell you.”

“What?”

“The company that I’d be working for is located in L.A.” Josh said with a grin spreading across his face.

“Oh.” Y/n said, the smile on her face faltering.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? This is big for us! We’ll both be working on our dreams so close to each other!” He said, turning to look at her properly.

“Josh—” She said, struggling to articulate what to say to him.

“—The position I’ve been offered is in Nashville.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure I could find something there to do until we figure something out.” He had a nonchalant tone in his voice as he shrugged his shoulders, but she could tell he was disappointed.

“Josh— I can’t ask you to give up this opportunity you’ve been given.” She said, placing a hand on his leg and looking him in the eye.

”Well you’re sure as hell not giving up your dream.” He replied, wrapping his hands around hers.

”As if I’d let you put a halt in yours?”

It was silent for a few moments, staring at each other, looking for the right words to say.

“I’m not leaving you.” Josh said, his voice faltering as he spoke.

“You’re not leaving me Josh, we’re just— putting some miles between us to follow our dreams. That doesn’t mean we stop loving each other.” Y/n said, moving one of her hands to his face and brushing her thumb along his cheekbone.

“I’ll come visit you as much as I can. I promise.”

“You better. Who else is going to wake me up in the best way possible?” She joked, trying her hardest to lighten the mood.

Josh leaned into her, brushing his lips against hers.

“We’ll make this work, baby.”

— 3 years later —

“Yeah Jake, I just landed in L.A, I’m just going to my hotel, then I’ve got a meeting with the director.” Y/n said as she walked out of the airport, making her way to pick up her rental car.

“Are you excited?”

“Very. Though I’m kind of nervous, I haven’t heard anything about the director.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. You know what you can and can’t handle, you’ll figure it out. I mean, fuck, you dealt with Josh for how long?” Jake was attempting to be humorous, but the mention of Josh had Y/n stopping in her tracks for a second before moving forward.

“Almost two years, and I wouldn't say I dealt with him. I was in love with him.” She replied, quietly thanking the man that was giving her the keys for the car before walking towards her car.

“You had to deal with him before you two were absolutely infatuated with each other.”

“I guess.” Y/n opened the trunk, placing her bags in before closing it and getting into the car.

“Have you talked to him lately?”

“Not since we broke up, the most I see is Facebook posts that your mom makes about how proud she is of him.” She connected to the car's bluetooth, listening as Jake's voice moved from her phone to the car's speakers.

“Has he reached out at all?”

“Once or twice, though it’s usually just when he sees a film I’ve been credited in.”

“He really misses you.” He sounded solemn, and her heart tightened at the statement.

“I miss him too.” She admitted, letting out a small sigh as she pulled out of her parking spot.

“You two really did have something special though. I’m still holding out for you guys.”

“Who would’ve thought that you’d be the one holding on so tight.” She said, letting out a strained laugh.

“You were happy with him. That’s all I want for you.”

“Alright Jake, no need to make me emotional.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to get all sappy and shit.” He apologized, laughing at himself.

“Mhm. I should probably go, I have to get ready for this meeting. I’ll call you when it's over, yeah?” She said as she pulled up to her hotel.

“Alright. Be safe.”

“Always. Love you dude.”

“Love you too.”

Y/n hung up the phone and parked the car, getting out and walking into the hotel to check in.

Once she had settled into her room, and chosen what to wear, she heard her phone buzzing on her bed. She walked out of the bathroom and picked it up without looking at the number.

“Hello Ms. Y/l/n. It’s Alvin, are you on your way for the meeting?” He asked.

“I am just about to leave Alvin, I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting for you in the lobby when you get here.”

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.” Y/n said, grabbing her car keys and work bag off of her bed and walking to the door.

“See you soon.” Alvin said before hanging up.

Y/n made her way to the studio, feeling the inevitable nerves as she got closer and closer to her destination. It was times like this that she wished she had Josh with her, telling her how great she was going to do, and how lucky this director would be to work with her, but she was alone. She drove through the studio gates and was directed to a parking spot before she walked to the lobby, seeing a familiar figure standing at the entrance.

“Alvin!” She said as she came to a halt in front of the lanky assistant she had been in contact with for the past couple weeks.

“Hello Y/n. How are you?” He asked, opening the lobby door and ushering her inside.

“I’m doing well thank you, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you for asking.”

The two of them made small talk as they walked through the building, making their way to what she assumed would be the director’s office. Once they had reached it, the door was open, showing off the organization— or more disorganization, of the director.

“Excuse the mess Y/n, I don’t know how anyone can understand what goes on in this office, the director really has an odd way of planning his movies.”

To Y/n, it was an all too familiar mode of planning. One that made her breath catch in her throat for a second before she spoke up again.

“I get it, he’s got a very unique way of formulating.” She said, walking up to a bulletin board covered in messily written post it notes and crude doodles.

“You seem familiar with all of this.” Alvin said, watching her as she analyzed the storyboards.

“Familiar is a good way to put it.” She muttered, eyes catching on a note tucked into the edge of the board.

As long as it’s not about an alien invasion, it’ll be fine <3

“I don’t know who gave him that note, but I see him looking at that more often than anything else.” Alvin commented.

“It’s the best advice I’ve ever gotten, Alvin.”

Y/n’s head shot straight up, but she didn’t turn, she couldn’t turn.

“Who gave you the advice Josh?” Alvin asked, turning to look at him.

“My angel.”

— Fin. —

———

Thank you to everyone that read and loved this series as much as Em and I did ♡

@amouratomique @earthlysorrows @godlygreta @obetrolncocktails @gretavanhoney @prettyxvenomx @basically-hayley @fictional-duchess @cowboysamkiszka @starchords @theweightofstardust @weightofdreams-gvf @secretwilliams @gvfrry @stardustdanny @the-chaotic-cow @welightthefire @ageoftambourine-deactivated2022 @brocken-ballz @mywaygvf @ruefulposts @gretavanfleas @stardustingold @tripthelightfandomtastic @emmagvf @danny-wagners-peacesign-necklace @sarakay-gvf @joshysgf @vulture-withafile @brokenbellz @somedayrikersomeday @gretavanflirt @celestialfauna @wriwrites @joshkiszkasqueen @subtleintellect @urmindisastreamofcolors @streamsofstardust @lilcuutiee @aureummel @groggyvanfleet @localhideaway @doodle417 @tlexx @petertingleeee @jonchbugs @age-of-nyahh

119 notes · View notes

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Note

Hi!!! 🥦 here! Let me begin. To 🧩, I have been waiting for the JONCH CONTENT from this page! I have been stalking the last few days waiting for something new and to be met with another new author was a Beautiful Surprise ‼️Thank YOU for such an adorable blurb :DDDD

Wow thank you so much!!! More Josh content soon if you'd like?? :)

- 🧩

0 notes

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Text

OMG STOP. Thank you so so much :’)

Unpacking My Bags - Josh Kiszka

cw//: smoking & drinking

“Hey… hey! wake up!” you whispered softly while peppering Josh’s face wish kisses. He starts to stir and groan, struggling to open his still tired eyes. He stretches while squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Eventually he’s able to pull them open to a half lidded look and as soon as his eyes meet you, the edges of his lips creep up into a bashful smile. Him and the boys had been playing a few scattered shows here and there and it had been a few weeks since you had been able to see him but finally - he was home. You had picked him up from the airport earlier that morning and as soon as you guys got home, he crashed out on the couch for practically the entire day. You didn’t mind, you knew how exhausted he must be and you figured it would give you enough time to unpack his bags for him and do some laundry. It was now 6:43 pm and the sun had almost completely set. “How did you sleep? How do you feel?” you ask while running your fingers gently through his mess of curls that had gotten even frizzier in his deep sleep. “Better, now that I can see you”, he smirks pulling your waist closer to his body. “Oh whatever”, you say while rolling your eyes as you grab one of the throw pillows, tossing it playfully at his head. Josh had always been a bit corny with you and although you would never admit it, he knew you secretly liked it so he continued. You both just take a moment to stare at each other. You lovingly scan his face, taking in all his features. It had been a while since you had gotten to get a good look at him. You had missed him so much but you tried not to show it while he was away. Not because you wanted him to think you didn’t care, but because you didn’t want to worry him. He was always worried about how you felt when he was gone, but you assured him you were fine. Despite your words, in this moment of exchanging stares, he knew you had been lying all along and missed him more than anything. “You know I missed you… a lot”, you stated firmly while looking down, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. Out of your peripheral you could see a big grin make it’s way across Josh’s face. He softly puts his fingers to your face, lifting your chin up to meet his gaze. “I know.” He smiles. “I missed you more.” You can’t help it so you place a hand on each side of his face pulling him closer and kissing him with gentle force. After a few seconds, you pull away and tuck yourself into his chest as you intertwine your fingers together. “Damn did I sleep the whole day? What time is it?”, he asks while looking around the dimly lit house. “It’s almost seven. Are you hungry?”, you ask. The answer was always yes. “Yeah but I don’t want you to have to cook. Maybe we could just order a pizza?”, he suggests. “If that’s what you want. I’ll cook you dinner tomorrow, I know all you guys have been eating is junk on the road”, you say while brushing your fingers against Josh’s. He chuckles,” Yeah there’s only so much McDonald’s a guy can take.” You look up at him as an idea pops into your head. “Ooh why don’t we have a self care night?”, you ask excitedly. “Like what…?”, he questions cautiously. “We could order pizza, turn on a movie and oooh maybe we could do face masks! It’ll be nice since you’ve been traveling for so long.” You jump up enthusiastically and look at him. He pauses for a moment pretending to think. “Fine I suppose.” You knew he loved this kind of shit. You grab your phone and place an order for your pizza to be delivered. You get up to grab a glass of water when you remember something. You open up the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of your favorite red wine. You originally had bought it for yourself while Josh was gone but he didn’t need to know that. Holding up the bottle up in the air you suggest, “Hey we could drink some of this too!”, with a playful look plastered across your face. Josh looked up and fired back with a shrug, “Or we could drink the whole thing.” You liked that idea so you poured two heaping glasses for the both of you. Both of you clinked your glasses together in the air for a cheers and began the night ahead of you.

You both decided to change into something a bit more comfortable so you put on a pair of sweatpants and one of josh’s hoodies that he left you with when he’s gone. He decided to wear some sweats and no shirt - which was a common thing for him around your house. “Psstt.” You hear from behind you. You turn around and see Josh holding up your bong with a face that’s asking if you want to smoke. Of course you do. Plus, it’s been a while since you’ve gotten to smoke with him. You sit on your bed while he packs a bowl - a gesture he always loved doing for you. Once he’s done he hands the bong to you. As you put your lips to it Josh starts lighting it and after giving it a few seconds he pulls it. You inhale the hit and exhale as the smoke slowly dances up your walls to your ceiling, catching the light perfectly in the dimly lit room. He smiles lovingly at you. He always thought you looked so pretty when you smoked. He takes a hit and you two go back and forth a few times. The two of you sit on the bed exchanging some passionate kisses while having little conversations about tour. “He pissed behind his amp during the show?”, you ask him while giggling uncontrollably. “Yes in front of everyone… I think they thought he was getting a drink or something”, he said while rolling his eyes. It warmed your heart that they still acted so much like brothers despite getting older and more famous. Once again you guys found yourself in a staring match only this time you both had low lids from being high. “I fucking love you”, he stares at you intensely. “I love you too”, you grab his hand pulling it up to your lips pressing a soft kiss to his palm then taking his hand into yours. “No like when I’m gone- you’re all I think about and my chest aches.” You felt the same exact way but it felt really nice to hear from him. “I think about you too. Especially because when you’re gone I have to grind my own weed”, you tease. “Yeah life’s real hard for you”, he shoots back with sarcasm. Just then the doorbell rings. You walk into the living room and open the door to give the pizza guy the money and give a quick thank you. You think you’re the one most excited for the pizza until Josh comes running in grabbing a piece immediately. You guys turn on a stupid cartoon and just veg for a bit. Once you’re both done eating, you decide it’s time to get the face masks. You have Josh sit on the bed while you get everything together. Once you make your way over to him you sit in front of him with your legs around his waist. You put a fluffy headband on him to keep his lions mane like hair out of his face. He loves this. You then start applying the face mask with your fingers. When you’re done, Josh looks at you funny. “What?”, you ask feeling self conscious. “Hold on i think you have something in your eye,” he says as he leans in close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips while he’s studying your eyes trying to find something. As you’re about to open your mouth Josh grabs your face with both hands and smooshes a messy kiss on your lips. The green face mask transfers onto your nose and around your lips. You gasp and playfully push him. “Oh I’m gonna get you”, you say with a devilish grin. “Oh yeah? I don’t think so.” He blurts out as he quickly smears more all over your face. You say fuck it and grab his face pushing it against yours while starting to roughly kiss him for a minute or two until he pulls away abruptly. He burps loudly and blows the disgusting leftover pizza aroma into your face and before you can catch him he’s running into the bathroom. You chase after him but only end up hugging him from behind, resting your head on his back. You missed this. He was the light of your life and without him, everything is bleak.

You both finish washing your faces before heading back into the living room. You both fall onto the couch and you guys are a little cross faded. You try to compromise on a movie to watch but just end up settling for one of Josh’s favorites that you’ve both seen a million times. You’re laying on top of him as your eyes start fluttering out of tiredness. He notices this and places his hand on your head to slowly run his fingers through your hair. Before you fall asleep, you make sure to look up to get one more look at him.

- 🧩

79 notes · View notes

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Text

Unpacking My Bags - Josh Kiszka

cw//: smoking & drinking

“Hey… hey! wake up!” you whispered softly while peppering Josh’s face with kisses. He starts to stir and groan, struggling to open his still tired eyes. He stretches while squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Eventually he’s able to pull them open to a half lidded look and as soon as his eyes meet you, the edges of his lips creep up into a bashful smile. Him and the boys had been playing a few scattered shows here and there and it had been a few weeks since you had been able to see him but finally - he was home. You had picked him up from the airport earlier that morning and as soon as you guys got home, he crashed out on the couch for practically the entire day. You didn’t mind, you knew how exhausted he must be and you figured it would give you enough time to unpack his bags for him and do some laundry. It was now 6:43 pm and the sun had almost completely set. “How did you sleep? How do you feel?” you ask while running your fingers gently through his mess of curls that had gotten even frizzier in his deep sleep. “Better, now that I can see you”, he smirks pulling your waist closer to his body. “Oh whatever”, you say while rolling your eyes as you grab one of the throw pillows, tossing it playfully at his head. Josh had always been a bit corny with you and although you would never admit it, he knew you secretly liked it so he continued. You both just take a moment to stare at each other. You lovingly scan his face, taking in all his features. It had been a while since you had gotten to get a good look at him. You had missed him so much but you tried not to show it while he was away. Not because you wanted him to think you didn’t care, but because you didn’t want to worry him. He was always worried about how you felt when he was gone, but you assured him you were fine. Despite your words, in this moment of exchanging stares, he knew you had been lying all along and missed him more than anything. “You know I missed you… a lot”, you stated firmly while looking down, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. Out of your peripheral you could see a big grin make it’s way across Josh’s face. He softly puts his fingers to your face, lifting your chin up to meet his gaze. “I know.” He smiles. “I missed you more.” You can’t help it so you place a hand on each side of his face pulling him closer and kissing him with gentle force. After a few seconds, you pull away and tuck yourself into his chest as you intertwine your fingers together. “Damn did I sleep the whole day? What time is it?”, he asks while looking around the dimly lit house. “It’s almost seven. Are you hungry?”, you ask. The answer was always yes. “Yeah but I don’t want you to have to cook. Maybe we could just order a pizza?”, he suggests. “If that’s what you want. I’ll cook you dinner tomorrow, I know all you guys have been eating is junk on the road”, you say while brushing your fingers against Josh’s. He chuckles,” Yeah there’s only so much McDonald’s a guy can take.” You look up at him as an idea pops into your head. “Ooh why don’t we have a self care night?”, you ask excitedly. “Like what…?”, he questions cautiously. “We could order pizza, turn on a movie and oooh maybe we could do face masks! It’ll be nice since you’ve been traveling for so long.” You jump up enthusiastically and look at him. He pauses for a moment pretending to think. “Fine I suppose.” You knew he loved this kind of shit. You grab your phone and place an order for your pizza to be delivered. You get up to grab a glass of water when you remember something. You open up the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of your favorite red wine. You originally had bought it for yourself while Josh was gone but he didn’t need to know that. Holding up the bottle up in the air you suggest, “Hey we could drink some of this too!”, with a playful look plastered across your face. Josh looked up and fired back with a shrug, “Or we could drink the whole thing.” You liked that idea so you poured two heaping glasses for the both of you. Both of you clinked your glasses together in the air for a cheers and began the night ahead of you.

You both decided to change into something a bit more comfortable so you put on a pair of sweatpants and one of josh’s hoodies that he left you with when he’s gone. He decided to wear some sweats and no shirt - which was a common thing for him around your house. “Psstt.” You hear from behind you. You turn around and see Josh holding up your bong with a face that’s asking if you want to smoke. Of course you do. Plus, it’s been a while since you’ve gotten to smoke with him. You sit on your bed while he packs a bowl - a gesture he always loved doing for you. Once he’s done he hands the bong to you. As you put your lips to it Josh starts lighting it and after giving it a few seconds he pulls it. You inhale the hit and exhale as the smoke slowly dances up your walls to your ceiling, catching the light perfectly in the dimly lit room. He smiles lovingly at you. He always thought you looked so pretty when you smoked. He takes a hit and you two go back and forth a few times. The two of you sit on the bed exchanging some passionate kisses while having little conversations about tour. “He pissed behind his amp during the show?”, you ask him while giggling uncontrollably. “Yes in front of everyone… I think they thought he was getting a drink or something”, he said while rolling his eyes. It warmed your heart that they still acted so much like brothers despite getting older and more famous. Once again you guys found yourself in a staring match only this time you both had low lids from being high. “I fucking love you”, he stares at you intensely. “I love you too”, you grab his hand pulling it up to your lips pressing a soft kiss to his palm then taking his hand into yours. “No like when I'm gone- you’re all I think about and my chest aches.” You felt the same exact way but it felt really nice to hear from him. “I think about you too. Especially because when you’re gone I have to grind my own weed”, you tease. “Yeah life’s real hard for you”, he shoots back with sarcasm. Just then the doorbell rings. You walk into the living room and open the door to give the pizza guy the money and give a quick thank you. You think you’re the one most excited for the pizza until Josh comes running in grabbing a piece immediately. You guys turn on a stupid cartoon and just veg for a bit. Once you’re both done eating, you decide it’s time to get the face masks. You have Josh sit on the bed while you get everything together. Once you make your way over to him you sit in front of him with your legs around his waist. You put a fluffy headband on him to keep his lions mane like hair out of his face. He loves this. You then start applying the face mask with your fingers. When you’re done, Josh looks at you funny. “What?”, you ask feeling self conscious. “Hold on i think you have something in your eye,” he says as he leans in close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips while he’s studying your eyes trying to find something. As you’re about to open your mouth Josh grabs your face with both hands and smooshes a messy kiss on your lips. The green face mask transfers onto your nose and around your lips. You gasp and playfully push him. “Oh I’m gonna get you”, you say with a devilish grin. “Oh yeah? I don’t think so.” He blurts out as he quickly smears more all over your face. You say fuck it and grab his face pushing it against yours while starting to roughly kiss him for a minute or two until he pulls away abruptly. He burps loudly and blows the disgusting leftover pizza aroma into your face and before you can catch him he’s running into the bathroom. You chase after him but only end up hugging him from behind, resting your head on his back. You missed this. He was the light of your life and without him, everything is bleak.

- 🧩

#joshkiszka #josh kiszka fanfiction #greta van fleet #greta van fic #blurb

79 notes · View notes

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Note

Hello There! it’s 🥦. I really need to have a chat with 🍒 because WOAH tis the damn season was SO GOOD! I was very happy to see a new fic from this account and when I saw it was a new author I was even more excited :D Very good first post 🍒

ahhh!!! i'm very overwhelmed with the fact that people actually like it - im at a complete loss for words

- 🍒

#🥦anon

0 notes

gretavant-garde · 2 years

Text

‘Tis The Damn Season - Sam Kiszka

inspiration: ‘tis the damn season - Taylor Swift

CW//: smoking and drug use, love, angst

There’s something incredibly melancholic about coming home, even if it’s for the holidays. Everything is exactly the same as it always was, every branch on every tree is in the same place. It's like going to a town forever stuck in time. Worst of all is my bedroom, a time capsule of who I was at 18. Everything reminds me of the person I tried to leave behind. When I lie down in my old twin bed everything feels wrong, like I’m a stranger to myself. I don’t recognize the person who spent hours agonizing over what color to paint my walls or the best poster to hang over my head. I feel out of place, nothing in the room I spent the majority of my life in feels like home. But there’s only so much time I can spend wallowing in my bed, delaying the inevitable. My bones ache as I sit up, gravity willing me to lay back down. I fight the urge to curl back into a ball and force myself to look out the window. Your room is dark, I shouldn’t have expected anything else. You always hated this town more than I did; you’d never come home this early, no matter how much your mom begged. For a moment though, I let myself imagine the light was on, that just like this town you never changed. Staring at my own reflection in the window I think back to how soft your sheets were as I sat on your bed listening to your plans for the future. I remember how warm the bed we made from pillows in your basement was. I remember how tightly you hugged me when you told me you were leaving.

I pull the curtain shut, tight, and let myself keep pretending that you're still sitting on your bed, head back against the wall, tirelessly playing the same riff over and over again until you got it perfect and moved on to the next.

A sharp knock at my door finally pulls my thoughts away from you.

“Y/n sweetie, could you please run to the store? I forgot to grab the bread for tonight.”

I feel like someone else is in control as I walk downstairs, past the many pictures of us. Someone else pulls on my coat and wraps a scarf around my neck. As I walk down the driveway, I see your parents in my peripheral setting up their holiday lights. I suppose they’re making everything special for your arrival, this year means a lot to them. I wonder if you know that. I wonder if you feel guilty about last year. I quicken my pace as I walk past your house. I force myself to keep my eyes forward and push the memories of scraped knees, four square games, and dented fenders away. I say a silent prayer that your parents are too busy to notice me walking by. I’ll be out of their line of sight soon, I just need to keep walking. Would it be weird for me to start running, would it make things worse? I’d do anything to avoid having to interact with them.

“Y/n!”

Fuck.

“I didn’t know you were home already,” I stop dead in my tracks at the sound of your mothers voice. I wonder if they noticed, maybe there's still time to pretend I didn’t hear and keep walking…. I squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I possibly can, take a deep breath, and turn around. The sight of your mom nearly brings tears to my eyes, I can’t put into words how much I miss her hugs, and the way she accepted me into the family immediately.

“Yeah,” I try to play it off and act like the sight of them doesn’t cause me physical pain. “I got in this afternoon.” I try to keep my answers short, I’m desperate for this conversation to end.

“How’s school going? How are your classes? This is your last year, right? Do you know what you’re doing next year?”

I can’t breathe

“Honey! Give the poor kid a break!” The first and only time I’ve ever been thankful to your dad for opening his mouth.

“Uh yeah… school’s great, hard work.” Don’t ask them, don’t ask them, “When uh,” do not ask them. “When are the boys coming home?” I finally inhale.

“They’re supposed to get in on the 24th. Can you believe that? After everything that happened last year they still can barely make it home for the holidays!” Two days. Two more days until I’ll see your face in front of me for the first time in two years.

I can feel my chest compressing at the thought of seeing your face again, and even worse, at the thought of you seeing mine. “Hey listen, I’ve really got to go, I’ll see you around though, yeah?” I turn and start walking away, I don’t wait for a response, I don’t want a response, I don’t want to see them again.

Your mom calls after me anyways, “We’ll see you tomorrow, right? For the holiday party?”

The holiday party, I forgot they were doing it again this year. This time I do what I should have done the first time your mom called after me, I keep walking and pretend I didn’t hear. I turn the corner and blink hard, I can’t cry, not here, not now. I don’t know how to face the people I used to know, the people who watched me grow up. It’s kind of funny, you’re the only thing that hasn’t changed. When I finally moved away from this stupid town, though it took some time, I discovered the person I was meant to be. I realized how much time I spent faking who I was, I can’t go back to being that person again. My entire mindset changed, except for the way I thought about you. I kind of hate you for it. Every time I see a picture of you my heart skips a beat. You ruined me for anyone else and you didn’t even look back.

Bread in hand I take the long way home hoping to avoid another run in with your parents. No one mentions how much time it took me to make what should have been a five minute trip and I’m grateful for it. The rest of the night is a blur of mediocrity. I feel guilty for it but I can’t help feeling like I’ve outgrown this life. I love my family but every bone in my body is itching to go back to my new home, the one I created.

I spend my morning drifting in and out of consciousness, I can barely find the strength to open my eyes let alone get out of bed. Eventually, most of the day has come and gone, and I feel like shit for all the time I wasted in bed.

“Just like old times huh,” my dad laughs as I finally make it downstairs.

It’s just a joke, it doesn’t mean anything but coming home has derailed everything. I like the person I’m becoming, I like the new life I’ve created for myself, the life I’ve always wanted. But some part of me still wonders what would have happened if I hadn’t changed so much, if I let myself be happy in the moment, if I had just said yes.

“I mean this could be a really cool opportunity for us, you know? This could really make or break everything!”

My heart sinks to the floor, I stare at the grain of the wood under your feet, I can’t even look you in the eye. I know I should be happy for you, I should be grinning from ear to ear, but I’m struggling to fight back the tears. “You’re - you’re leaving?”

“Yeah, but you are too, sure it’s sooner than we expected but get this-” We were supposed to have the summer. We had so many plans, so many places we were going to visit, so many lakes to jump into. Now all of that is gone. “-You can come with us! Follow us around from city to city, you always talk about all the places you want to go, now is your chance!”

“Sam, I can’t quit my job to be your groupie, I need that money for college.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. You could…. You could be our manager! I’m sure we’ll start making money at some point and I know you’ve been working your ass off for the past few years I’m sure you have enough to-”

“Sam, I can’t go. I can’t leave, not yet.”

“This is such bullshit! You’ve spent your whole life talking about how much you want to leave this town but now you can’t go?”

You’re right, it is bullshit. Every vein, every blood cell in my heart wants to say yes. To tell you that I’d follow you to the end of the earth if you asked me to. But I’ve missed too many opportunities waiting for you to turn around and say the same to me. For once, I have to think about what I want, what I’d be giving up if I gave into my heart’s desires. “I can’t go.” I finally look up, and the expression in your face sends me over the edge. My tears begin to fall when I see the pain I caused you…. “Please don’t forget about me.”

“How could I ever forget about you?”

I smile weakly at you, “Promise?”

“Promise.” With that you pull me into a hug. I melt at your touch, and you hold me tight. I could stay here forever, no fire in the world could recreate the warmth that radiates from your chest. “Hey,” you say, finally breaking the embrace. “Even though I’m leaving, I’ll still be yours for the weekend.”

As I go about my day, time takes her sweet time passing. Every minute feels like an eternity and I’m dreading the moment I have to make the thirty second walk to your house. Getting dressed is a chore, every piece of clothing feels wrong. I struggle to find the balance between the person I was and the person I’m becoming. The outfit I end up with still seems wrong, but it’ll do. I feel too restless to do anything; I can't sit still, I can’t read, I can’t even stare at my phone. I start to pace back and forth, I can feel my breath start to quicken. It’s fine, it's just going to be some family, some friends, and some neighbors. You aren’t even going to be there, I’ll survive, I always do. I lay down on the floor and stare up at the ceiling, forcing myself to take deep breaths in and out. My mind keeps wandering to you, the smell of your hair, the way you always kept eye contact when you talked to me, and the secret glances you used to give me from across the room. Sometimes I wish I never saw your face, that we never met. No matter what I do, or who I’m with, my thoughts always come back to you, no matter how hard I try to forget.

“Y/n, come on it's time to go!” The yell from downstairs rips me away from my meditative trance.

Each step I take brings me closer to my nightmare. The short trip to your house feels like miles, there's already a line of people at your door waiting to come inside as your mom individually greets everyone. I feel sick as I walk through your door and your mom pulls me into a tight hug. I try to reciprocate but my arms ache at her touch. I feel sick to my stomach when I enter your living room. Just like this town, everything in the room is exactly the same as it’s always been. My feet feel glued to the floor, and I can’t bring myself to move. I didn’t think being here would make me feel so ill.

“Y/n! How are you how's California, you know-” Your aunt pulls me over to the sofa and I try my hardest to listen to her stories of her kids and their kids but everything in this house reminds me of you. I slowly zone out, occasionally nodding my head and uttering agreements. I stare at the door, part of me wants to get up and walk out, and part of me is hoping you’ll walk through it. I stare at the door knob, willing it to turn, it jiggles slightly. I can feel my eyes widen in shock, I mean there’s no way right? I did not just move that with my mind. Suddenly the door knob turns and the door is pushed wide open. My jaw nearly drops as you walk in, cheeks a little pink from the cold, hair pulled back into a bun, with a massive smile on your lips.

“Sam!” Your mom runs to you pulling you in tight.

“Surprise!” You chuckle in her arms.

Your brothers trail in slowly with a myriad of bags, “Thanks for all the help Sam.”

I lose my hearing for a second, I can see your lips moving and everyone laughing at your joke. My head sways from side to side slightly and for a second I think I might pass out, but just then, your eyes lock on to mine. Suddenly my senses come rushing back, the room fills with noise again and air rushes into my lungs. For a moment neither of us move, I forget for a second that we aren’t the only ones in the room. Your mom leads you further inside and you’re swarmed with people wanting to hear all your stories from the past two years. I excuse myself from your aunt who has long since forgotten that I was even there. I all but run to the bathroom, bile rises in my throat and tears sting my eyes. I’ve lost all hope of controlling my breath and I grip onto the bathroom counter for dear life. I heave as I stare at myself in the mirror, I wish I was stronger than this. I haven’t even talked to you in two years and the sight of you still makes me weak in the knees. I make eye contact with myself in the mirror and I hate myself for how pathetic I’m being. I fill my hands with water from the tap and bring it up to my lips. Water dribbles down my chin as I take big gulps to try and calm myself down. I lower the toilet seat and sit down for a moment to collect my breath. I hate that you still have this effect on me. Ever since I can remember, the sight of you has made my heart skip a beat. I know there are many reasons why you shouldn’t have this chokehold on me, why you shouldn’t be able to elicit this reaction from me. But the best reason I can give myself to pull myself together is that I can’t let you see me like this, I can’t let you know how damaging one look can be. I stand up and look in the mirror again, I take a deep breath, and put on my best fake smile, I can do this.

When I rejoin the room, the chaos has died down, all three of you are engaged in separate conversations, nodding along and laughing with various friends and family. This time, when I’m pulled into a conversation, I actively listen and engage. My smile is wide as I tell people about my studies, and how I like living in a place so far from home. I move from conversation to conversation listening to stories about people I’ve never heard of before.

“Y/n!” I hear someone call my name from behind me and as I turn around, I can see your dad beckoning to join his conversation, your conversation. I take slow, deliberate steps as I make my way over to you, I can do this, you’re just a guy. As I approach the group you’re in, a space is made for me next to you dad, and across from you. “So Y/n, we need your professional opinion as a geology major-” I can’t do this. Maybe if it was with a different group, I’d be fine, but between navigating your dad and fighting the urge to faint every time I look at you, I can’t do this.

“Earth sciences.” Your eyes are the same, your nose is the same, your lips are the same, but your voice is different. It’s still you, but it’s more mature, more gravely. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to stay standing. I’m so focused on the sound of your voice I don’t even hear the words you’re saying.

“What?” Your dad's voice is like nails on a chalkboard compared to your dulcet tones. I want to slap him for daring to speak so soon after you.

“It’s earth sciences, not geology. Geology is just the study of rocks. Earth sciences can include geology, but what Y/n studies is more complex.” What? My brain does a backflip trying to comprehend what you just said. The last time we talked I was completely lost, an underclassman with no idea what to do next. How the fuck do you know what my major is, you’re parents don’t even know and I’ve talked with them about it.

“Even better then! So Y/n we were wondering-” I would give anything to make your dad shut up right now. I focus on what he’s saying. I train my eyes on him and don’t dare to look away, but from my periphery I can see you. You’re not even pretending to care about what your dad is saying, you’re looking right at me.

My smile waivers for a second as I try to answer your dad’s stupid question, but I regain my composure quickly. I focus on my words, praying I don’t get caught up on my own tongue.

“Everyone!” Your mom starts clinking a knife against a glass, and I could kiss her feet with gratitude for it. “It’s time for the toast!” Glasses are handed out and I make my way to the back of the room.

I’m so focused on not being seen, that I don’t see you slowly making your way across the room until you’re standing right next to me. Your mom begins her speech and you move even closer, opening your mouth to say something.

“Hey-” Your voice was barely a whisper and it sent shivers down my spine.

“How did you know?” I should have let you keep talking, I should have just stood here and listened to your voice, and pretend that nothing happened.

“What?”

“My major, how did you know? We haven’t talked in over two years, who told you?” I hope you don’t notice the way my voice waivers as I whisper my response.

You scoff and I swallow hard. “Y/n,” My legs nearly give out at the sound of you saying my name. “What you think just because we haven’t talked in a while I’ve forgotten about you? Y/n,” you let out a little chuckle through your nose. “I follow you on Instagram, you post pretty frequently.” Of course, I’m so stupid. For a split second I really thought that he might actually be as infatuated with me as I am with him. He follows me on Instagram, I have to bite my lip to stop myself from letting out a small chuckle. My ears itch from the blush that's reached them and I know I must be bright red. You mumble something else as I try my hardest to think of something light, and funny to say. Something that will ease the tension and maybe make it easier to talk to you.

“So-” I turn towards you ready to make a meaningless statement that will hopefully elicit a small smile, maybe even a laugh from you.

“-Happy holidays everyone, cheers!” Your mom interrupts with the end of her toast and the crowd in your living room begin clinking glasses and spreading well wishes.

You turn your body to face me and I reciprocate, daring to look you straight in the eyes. “Cheers,” your smile is genuine as you lift your glass towards me.

I can’t help but smile back as I knock my glass against yours, “Cheers.”

I lose you again to the room, I clink glasses with a few more people before finishing off my drink. I weave through the thick conglomerate of people and make my way into the kitchen to put down my glass. When I turn around to leave, I jump back at the sight of you right behind me.

“Hey,” you try again, and this time I don’t interrupt you, “You wanna go for a walk?”

“Now? But what about-”

“They won’t even notice that we’re gone.” You take a quick look over your shoulder and turn back with a smile, “Come on.” You grab my hand and I nearly flinch at the rush of electricity it sends through my arm. Your hand feels so soft and warm in mine that I don’t notice you pulling me to the front door until you drop my hand and throw my coat at me. “See, look at that, if you didn’t want to come on a walk with me, you wouldn’t have brought your coat. You never bring your coat, you usually just run.”

“That’s because I always knew I could borrow yours if I ended up needing one.” It slipped out before I could stop it. I cast my eyes to the floor as I pull my coat on.

You put your hand around the door knob and turn it, but stop before you open the door. You turn around and look me right in the eyes, “You still can.” With that you threw the door open and walked out into the blistering cold. As you saunter down the driveway, I shiver and turn around to pull the door shut tight behind us. I have to jog a little to catch up with you and I feel embarrassed about every step I take. But then I catch up to you. You pulled the hair tie from your hair while you were waiting for me, and the sight makes me suck a deep breath in. Your hair is a little shorter than it used to be but it's still so you, it’s pretty. You bump your shoulder against mine and we begin walking down the street in the middle of the road. “So,” you smile as you turn your head towards me. “How is college going?”

I try to reciprocated the smile, “It’s good yeah, not quite what I thought it’d be-”

“Oh come on now Y/n,” you shake your head a little. “Cut the bullshit, I know you well enough to know when you’re faking a smile. How is college really going?”

I open my mouth to say something and immediately shut it again, I can’t help but let out a slight breathy chuckle. “Honestly Sam?” I hesitate for a second and you nod at me in encouragement. “It’s different, it’s not what I thought it’d be at all, and it’s fucking hard.” I stop walking for a second and turn towards you completely. As you copy my movements I break into a big, genuine smile, “And I fucking love it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” well, almost anything that is. Your eyes soften and it takes every ounce of self control I have to stop myself from resting my hand on your cheek. This time it’s my turn to take the lead. “Come on,” I almost grab your hand but I can’t bring myself to do it. I pick up my pace and speed over to a little bench that’s been almost completely hidden by a big oak tree at the end of the road. Our bench. I take a seat and regret it almost immediately. It’s cold and I can feel the chill reach my bones. I almost make a move to get up when you take a seat next to me. You’re a little closer than you ought to be, but the warmth your presence brings is welcome.

“You got a light? I left mine at the house.”

“Yeah, hang on.” I dig around in my pocket and pull out a lighter holding it out to you.

You take it, and to my surprise, instead of bringing a cigarette to your lips like I had expected you to, you wrap them around a joint. I can’t help but stare as you take your first hit. Your eyes flutter slightly and you lean back a bit as you hold the joint out to me. I take a few deep inhales before I pass it back.

“So, what about you, rockstar? How's tour treating you? Where do you keep your grammy?”

You exhale smoke and let out a light chuckle. “It’s amazing Y/n, you don’t even know.” I watch as your eyes brighten and you sit up straighter. “We’re living the dream, this is everything we dreamed about.” You hand the joint back to me and hesitate a little, “I do- I’ve always- I wish we had the time to come home more often. I’ve always regretted not being able to make it back this time last year. And you know,...” I really don’t, I have no idea what you’re about to say. The joint sits forgotten in my hand, as I wait with anticipation for your next words. You pluck it from my fingers, and a soft sigh escapes from my mouth that I half heartedly cover up with a shiver. “I miss you,” you take a long drag and I can’t take my eyes away from your lips as you release the smoke. “A lot.” My heart flutters and I’m desperate to respond. I part my lips slightly but before I can tell you how much I missed you too, your phone rings. You’re quick to pull it out “Shit!” You stand up quickly and I realize how cold I really am. Answering the call you push what’s left of the joint against some snow and shove it in your pocket for later. “Hello?... Yeah Ma I know… mmhm,” You look at me and move your head to the side, a gesture that says it’s time to get going. I have to speed walk to keep up with your long strides. “I just needed some fresh air Ma… yeah she’s with me… no Ma… we’re almost home you can start without us”. He sighs as he puts his phone away. “They’re handing out the pie we gotta hurry,” with that, you grab my hand, tightly, much tighter than before. I can feel the tendons in my hand moving against your hand as you start to jog a little, pulling me behind you.

To my relief everyone is too busy with the deserts to notice us walk in. We quietly take off our coats and seamlessly join the rest of the crowd.

We get pulled in separate directions, but no matter where I am in the room, I always manage to find you. You’re in an animated conversation with the man who lives across the room, and I’m staring. I swear I see stars as you run a hand through your hair, your fingers get snagged on some tangles as you move it out of your face. You look up while you listen, you look up and make eye contact with me. You smirk a little as your eyes meet mine before turning your full attention back to your conversation. After that, every time I feel the urge to look for you I stop myself before it can happen again. Slowly, people start putting on coats and conversations start becoming a little more lazy. It’s still another hour before the first few people begin to tickle out. As per tradition, my family has to be the last to leave. It takes another few hours for the rest of the room to empty and it becomes harder and harder to avoid you as the crowd thins. I busy myself helping your mom tidy away dishes to distract myself from the way your shirt rides up as you take your sweater off. Finally it’s time to go, your mom hugs me tight, and I grab my coat before she makes you say goodbye to me too. I slip out the door not even bothering to put my coat on for the short hop back to my house. When I’m finally inside again I breathe a huge sigh of relief. You missed me, you missed me a lot. I don’t let myself enjoy that thought for long though as I begin to trudge up the stairs. Did you really think about me once in the past two years; I mean If you missed me, why didn't you call or text, or comment on my Instagram that you apparently keep up with? But then I missed you so much my heart would shatter if I even heard the name Sam, and I stopped reaching out too. But I only stopped trying because it felt like you stopped trying. I reach my bedroom, all I want to do is flop down on the bed, curl up into a ball, and pass out. As I walk towards my bed curiosity gets the better of me, and I change course to the window. It can’t hurt right? I open the curtain I has shut so tightly before, fuck. You’re sitting on the edge of your bed, facing the window. The movement from my curtains catches your eye, you look up at me and smile waving your hand at me. For some reason, I wave back. I watch as you pull out your phone, you make eye contact with me and point to it, before turning your attention to something on the screen. A moment later my phone buzzes, a text from you. I’m surprised you still have my number saved in your phone. I take a seat on my bed facing the window, facing you.

- Sam K: you think I can still make it up to your window?

My eyes widen as I shoot my head back up to look at you. You’re grinning from ear to ear god you're so smug, I almost hate you for it.

- don’t you dare climb up to my room right now I swear to god

- Sam K: i mean i know you were always better at the whole climbing thing but i’m all grown up now i have big boy muscles!!!

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. We used to sneak into each other's rooms all the time when we were younger. But we were kids, that's what we were supposed to be doing.

- Sam K: we got cut off earlier

- Sam K: don’t you want to talk?

- we are talking

- Sam K: you know what i mean

- Sam K: i’ve got to return your lighter and i never got to tell you where i keep my grammy aren’t you curious

- no.

- Sam K: i’m coming over now (:

You look up from your phone again and give me a big grin. I shake my head at you, please don’t come. Just as you stand up and start grabbing things from your desk your head whips around to face the door. I can see it start to open slightly and my instinct is to hit the deck, so I do. God, this is so embarrassing, they know I live next door. I could have pretended to be on my phone, but instead I decided to lay down on the floor so you can’t see me at all. I chance a quick glance over the window sill to see you and your mom hugging. She loosens the embrace, but still hangs on to your arms as she talks to you. I lay back down, maybe you won’t come after all, maybe you’ll realize its a bad idea and you’ll just close your blinds and turn in for the night. I remember how excited I was when the You Belong With Me music video came out, because they were just like us. Only, they got a happy ending. You humored me for a bit, talking to me through notebooks and sharpies. Eventually, it was just easier to talk on the phone or with a hand gesture that meant ‘I’m coming over now, please unlock your window’. But every now and again you used to surprise me with a handwritten note. A sharp tapping at my window breaks me away from my thoughts. I look up to see you on the other side, in only a tee-shirt manically pointing at the window lock. “Shit!” I scramble to unlock it and you tumble inside.

“I told you I was coming, why didn’t you unlock it before I started freezing my ass off? What were you doing on the floor anyway?”

I decide not to answer your questions as I shut the window. “The real question is why didn’t you bother to put on some more layers before going outside in winter?”

“Because I like your sweaters better, you really know how to pick ‘em. I pretty much live in the one you gave me for my 18th” You start to root around in the suitcase on my floor, I reach my hand out to stop you, but it’s too late. You find a sweater you like and pull it out, holding it in front of you, “This is nice!” You pull it over your head and walk back over to me pulling my lighter, our joint from earlier and a new freshly rolled one. “Now, where were we?”

“You were telling me about where you keep your grammy.”

“Oh right, that's a funny story actually-” We sit down on the floor, shoulder to shoulder, backs leaning against my bed, just like we used to. I don’t need weed to get me high, the feeling of your arm against mine sends my head spinning. The room disappears, all that matters is you next to me. The conversation is easy, and it is indeed a funny story. The more inebriated I get, the easier I find it to talk to you. I’m honestly surprised to discover that you’re still the Sam that took me to prom despite the long line of people waiting for you to ask them, just because no one wanted to take me. You’re still the same Sam that I fell in love with, but with much, much better weed. After a couple hours I know everything, and regrettably everyone, you did over the past two years. And you know the same about me. Eventually my head just feels way too heavy for my neck, so I rest it on your shoulder. You give a small hum in response, resting your hand on my leg and leaning a little further into me. We sit in silence, but it’s a content quiet, it doesn’t feel awkward and I’m not wracking my brain for something to say that will fill the void. I’m just enjoying being in your company again, and I hope you’re enjoying being in mine. You sit up slightly and run a hand through your hair. You wince a little as you try to pry a tangle out with your finger.

“Sam? Can I ask you something? It’s important.”

“Yeah of course, what is it?”

“Can I braid your hair?” The words come out of my mouth before my brain can stop them.

You chuckle softly, and I swear it's the most beautiful sound in the universe, “Yeah.” God, if heaven does exist, there's no doubt the angels are jealous of your voice.

You sit on the edge of the bed while I find a brush and kneel behind you. I take small sections carefully brushing them through, “Let me know if I’m hurting you.” You don’t respond. “So,” I decide to ask the dreaded question as I run the brush through your annoyingly soft hair. “When do you have to leave?”

You let out a heavy sigh that causes my heart to drop, “We have to leave for Nashville on Monday.”

“This Monday?” My voice comes out a lot weaker than I mean it to, it's a little pathetic really.

“Yeah….” Your head drops a little and I put the brush to the side, pulling two hair ties off the handle and onto my wrist.

“But… it’s Friday.” I run my fingernail from your hairline to the nape of your neck, you shiver slightly as I split your hair into two.

You take a quick look at your phone, “Saturday actually.” I whack my hand against the back of your head, “I know, I know I’m sorry.” You take a deep breath and I can’t bring myself to continue working on your head. “Look, it’s not up to me, if it was I’d choose to stay right here forever. It gets hard sometimes being on the road for so long and… and I miss you, so much. I feel like I owe you an apology, for the past two years. I didn’t mean to cut off communication entirely, it’s just that it hurt so much knowing that I couldn’t be with you to celebrate how cool you are. I figured it would be easier not to talk at all, that maybe it would help me distance myself from you. But I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Everything always reminds me of you.” My hands are resting on your shoulder, I haven’t moved once since you started talking, I can’t bring myself to move a muscle for fear that this isn’t real. I’m worried that if I so much as bat an eyelid all of this will dissolve. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said all that, it’s not fair for me to put all that on you, and I understand-”

“I think about that last weekend we spent together before you left the first time, I wonder what would have happened if I had said yes. The road I’d chose not to take looks real good now.” You turn around and look me dead in the eye.

“Don’t. Please don’t ever regret the decision you made. I’m happy you made it. I’d never forgive myself if I made you give up your life for me. It was selfish of me to even ask you in the first place. I’m so proud of who you’ve become. You’ve changed so much, and you’re so much more you.” We don’t break eye contact, we just sit there staring at each other. Suddenly you do something that makes my heart stop working almost immediately. For a millisecond, barely enough time for me to process it even happened, your eyes shifted their gaze to my lips before snapping back up. Maybe I imagined it, it couldn’t have been real. Why would you have done that? I decide to ignore it, I made it up, I had to have made it up. But then, you do it again. “Y/n, can I,” My heart fully stops, my chest feels tight, I can’t breathe. “Can I kiss you?”

“Sam I,” I start but I can finish. “I- but- I can’t- I mean you leave on Monday, and I have to go back to California, and-”

“It’s okay. I’m not expecting you to wait for me or give up your dreams for me, Y/n I could never ask that of you. I’m leaving soon and I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again but I promise it’ll be soon. I don’t care how long it takes, you’ve ruined me for everyone else. We will find each other again, at the right time. So, for this last weekend, you’re mine.”

- 🍒

#sam kiszka #sam kiszka x reader #sam kizska fanfic #sammy gvf #sam kiszka angst #gvf #greta van fleet #jake gvf #josh gvf

95 notes · View notes