Welcome to my blog, where the theme’s made up and the fandom doesn’t matter. Sometimes I make vaguely popular posts about Square Enix games, sometimes I get drunk and share to much personal information. Sometimes I do both at once. Also, I took a picture of a lizard in a graduation hat a few years ago that you may have seen. I always know when graduation is now.
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As a society we have benefited so much from successful public health measures that we now have the privilege of declaring that we must not need them anymore
Bitch before enriched flour, neural tube defects like spina bifida were far more common. Even now, spina bifida clinicians and researchers are begging to have salt and maize fortified to reach groups that don’t use as much flour. Before iodized salt, the United States had a fucking GOITER BELT. Eleven years after the introduction of fluoridated water, a city in Michigan found the rate of dental caries among school children dropped a staggering 60%— in an era where tooth decay regularly fucking killed people
I’m literally not even going to start on vaccines, which are among the most successful and robustly studied public health measures in world history
You might say “oh well today we all have access to vitamins and toothpastes and dentists so we don’t need those things in our food supplies” and boy do white people on social media loooove to fucking say that. But here’s the thing: no, people don’t all have easy access to those things. That’s privilege talking yet again
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I’ve decided that my 20s are actually age 25 - 35
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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
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I feel like 90% of "ancient curses" are probably adequately explained by the fact that the self-proclaimed adventurers who ostensibly fell victim to them were, as a class, a bunch of dipshits who engaged in frequent international travel in an era before antibiotics and vaccines. Like, the list of novel pathogens these guys were risking exposure to on a regular basis was effectively "all of them". That's gotta leave a mark.
#reminds me of how a lot of those 'disappeared mysteriously' things are just like#search party: 'surely they wouldn't have gone this way - it's too risky/time consuming/etc. Let's search over there instead!'#then 100 years later they find evidence of them in the stupid place#or the search party finally asks the people who live in the area if they saw something#and they're like 'yeah we saw a bunch of white people eating each other and decided we wanted no part of that'#and the search party is just like 'that's ridiculous - these were good christain men! I guess we'll never know what happened to them'#in other news i watched The Terror
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(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times
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SPACEBALLS 2: THE SEARCH FOR MORE MONEY
Director: Mel Brooks Year: 2027
"After 40 years we asked, what do the fans want?... but instead we're making this movie!" - Mel Brooks
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FOR PARENTS OF YOUNG KIDS IN THE US!
Someone over on bluesky posted this and I figured I'd better repost it here. It's the pre-RFK 2025 vaccination schedule for babies and young children, ya know, just in case it mysteriously disappears. Save this and give it to your child's pediatrician; tell them this is the schedule you want your child on.

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“Bruce doesn’t know how to cook” “Bruce doesn’t make his own bed” have you considered the possibility that Bruce knows how to do all of those things but lets Alfred do them anyway because if he doesn’t, the whole Manor falls apart?
Bruce lets Alfred make the bed because after the close call with Killer Croc last night it’s either crisp folded sheets pressed to perfection OR Alfred goes deep into the Gotham sewers with a rifle, a belt of flash-bangs, and 30 years of unresolved overprotectiveness.
let the man cook. literally, please let him cook something.
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game changer (dropout.tv) + the onion; i've been here the WHOLE time
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Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.
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his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it
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Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1
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