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MARWAN KENZARI The Evening Show with Arjen Lubach / October 19, 2022

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no but the way austen says at the end of mansfield park that fanny would’ve (probably) married henry crawford if he just kept doing what he was doing. like. we could’ve had it all.

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The happiest cat

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I'd also love a "Rashomon Job"-style flashback episode with the crew reminiscing on some of their favorite yet-unseen cons, all of which screwed over Harry and his past court cases in some way, with Harry's disbelief, astonishment, and respect for them all growing and growing as the tale unravels

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"the scenery is beautiful" "if you like cars" "the old guard 1 on steroids" oh the movie is BAD bad. i can't wait

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Marwan Kenzari about The Old Guard 2 and his friendship with Luca Marinelli

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rainbow birds :-)

(print here!)

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I like to imagine that the Winter Soldier would have been programmed with basically every language that he would need for missions, and, for the sake of versimillitude, his handlers would make sure that he had the appropriate accent/diction and backstory to flawlessly pass as a native of a decently sized city in the country he was working in. So he speaks French like he’s from Toulouse, German like he’s from Cologne etc., allowing him to seamlessly blend in with the locals when he’s out raining destruction across Europe.

Unfortunately, the Red Room – not being known for its commitment to multiculturalism – didn’t think this system through very carefully when it came time to send the Winter Soldier off to do his first ever long mission for their comrades in China. They just program him to speak Mandarin like a statistically unremarkable proletarian from Zhangjiakou and send him on his merry way.

So he arrives in China with his Soviet handler and the following circumstances align to make the entire mission, from the perspective of the Red Room, a disaster from start to finish.

1. It’s 1971, and China is not open to the outside world. Most of the men on the Soldier’s strike team have never met a foreigner in their lives.

2. Those who have met a foreigner have never met one who speaks completely fluent Mandarin with a paint-peeling Hebei accent.

3. This is ENORMOUSLY INTERESTING AND ENTERTAINING to everyone he encounters.

4. Instead of being unremarkable and blending in with the locals he gets mobbed by curious spectators everywhere he goes. His strike team, despite being a little scared of him at first, are so excited to talk to a foreigner who they can actually communicate with that they constantly come up with excuses to hang out and chat.

5. China’s relative lack of development in the early seventies means that there aren’t the facilities to wipe him or put him in the freezer, so the main weapons that Handler Dima has at his disposal to keep the Soldier in line are 1. it’ll be hard for him to run away because he tends to attract crowds, and 2. He sometimes looks very ashamed of himself if you give him a sternly worded talking-to.

6. The Soldier is having the time of his life. Look at me, look at all of my friends, I have so many friends, EVERYONE LIKES ME.

The Winter Soldier, doing shots of baijiu and toasting to the health of Chairman Mao. The Winter Soldier, chain smoking and eating millions of sunflower seeds while playing Fight the Landlord with his new pals on a cross-country sleeper train. The Winter Soldier, doing morning tai chi and calisthenics along with his team. The Winter Soldier, preening every time someone tells him that he looks like a movie star (his handler says “They’re just saying that because they only ever see Europeans in films,” to which the Soldier replies, “But Dima, why don’t they say that you look like a movie star?”). The Winter Soldier, showboating shamelessly for his strike team, who have started calling him Lao Da and looking to him for orders while ignoring Handler Dima, who can’t speak Chinese and definitely can’t shoot two people at the same time while doing a backflip. The Winter Soldier, making elaborate Chinese puns and teaching his guys useful English phrases that he can’t remember learning (Did you come here alone, doll?). The Winter Soldier, harassing his buddies until they show him pictures of their wives and kids and then sincerely complimenting them on their beautiful families. The Winter Soldier, suspecting that he has experienced this kind of camaraderie before but unable to remember when and how.  

His next mission, in Vietnam, is the first time that they muzzle him.

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📸 by Andrea Pirrello

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saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead

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lmaooo how did I forget that Elizabeth's go-to annoyance curse on people who displease her is to hope they marry someone miserable?

We all remember that she sees Anne de Bourgh and is like "yes perfect she'll make Mr Darcy miserable" but how did I forget that she wishes BINGLEY miserable at one point too?!

"This letter gave Elizabeth some pain; but her spirits returned, as she considered that Jane would no longer be duped, by the sister at least. All expectation from the brother was now absolutely over. She would not even wish for any renewal of his attentions. His character sunk on every review of it; and, as a punishment for him, as well as a possible advantage to Jane, she seriously hoped he might really soon marry Mr. Darcy’s sister, as, by Wickham’s account, she would make him abundantly regret what he had thrown away."

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they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

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doesn't have to be a definitive or strongly held opinion, just which option seems preferable currently. also sorry for neglecting the people already married lol in that case obviously just pick what you did!

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Having one-sided beef with one specific character is so funny. Like I can see a million characters who do terrible things and be like “whatever.” But then there’s one specific motherfucker who pissed me off so bad that I’d run them over at a red light if given the chance.

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I'm not saying that Catherine Morland is the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's young and she's going to catch up and she basically distrusted John Thorpe from the jump. But General Tilney is a full grown man and he took John Thorpe at his word, not once but twice.

Let's all acknowledge that he's the real blockhead