grieveme

[grieveme]

btw im moving jayce 2 my multi @deadupon :smirk: see u there also at dante @smokinstyle which are the only 2 blogs ull see me on

[grieveme]

happy pride month mel is not a lesbian and jayce is not gay they're both bi4bi thank u

[grieveme]

i wrote something .............. its monday but its still the weekend to me

[grieveme]

busy, busy. keep his hands busier and mind busier. there's frustration building in his core, brows an almost permanent furrow. viktor has been gone, now far too used to an empty lab and even emptier bed chamber. of course, not even his room can be free from little trinkets that he thinks aren't worth the extra tools; just other hobbies that haven't been given the same enthusiasm. heat blossoms in his cheeks, glancing over to sett where he sits, eyes immediately settling on his lap before quickly looking away. a thought is etched, thinking that sett belonged there, looking for too comfortable and familiar. it's hard to notice the red moving from his cheeks to the base of his neck, where the pads of his fingers touch and linger, feeling the heat sink into his collar. it's hard to ignore the night before, the shiver up the spine when his hips were squeezed and lips almost feverish in their desires. hair unkempt out of its usual style, not bothering to style it this time as anticipation breeds in his belly and sett back face to face to him.

so close, he was so close. but the usual irritation is gone, huffing softly as he manages eye contact. " i hardly know what you're talking about. "

father and creator of hextech, they chant out, adoring by the citizens of piltover. it's something of denial, feeling undeserved and unwanted but here comes ' the boss ', enveloping a personality large enough for the both of them and seemingly uninterested in the whole aspect of someone who gave the city large advancements. he could hardly sleep, thoughts playing in a cacophony of memories and playbacks. even someone like him can indulge, couldn't he? " i - it happened. " a deep swallow, trying his damn best not to look down to spot rippling abs and them hem of rather tight pants. he resists, teeth gritting together; uncertainty and doubt creaks in his bones. " is there something more you want, sett? "

making demands meme // not accepting wipe that look off your face . smirk ( @grieveme )

the room breathed with honed lines and softer penumbras, with the smooth marble floors, bookshelves built into glass walls, and the faint scent of chemicals mixed with the gentleness of aromas. a storm of knowledge and the elegance of piltover: it was clean, it was cold, and it was ordered. too quiet for a brawler with blood under his fingernails and sin baked into his bones. he was there anyway, seated on jayce's overstuffed armchair like it was a throne he had no right to claim, sprawled with all the arrogance of someone who did not care for rules.

his aureate spheres were shifted to jayce walking in, all thundercloud brow and silk-pressed poise, his own gaze landing on sett with no emotion scripted on it. a smirk was quietly returned upon his lineaments, smidgens of the previous night still tracing the filements of his mind. ❝ i would... ❞ it was drawled, vocals deep and velvet-rough, but warmer, unruly, fond. ❝ if you did not keep puttin' it there. ❞

he shifted in the chair, one leg draped over the side, structure loose, treacherous, but his spheres were watching jayce as though he had split open the sky just by entering the room. ❝ you gonna pretend last night did not happen? ❞ he continued, softer, albeit still with that typical teasing lilt. ❝ the rooftop? the wind almost rippin' that fancy coat of yours off while you were busy being pinned against the railing? ❞ he eventually stood, towering in the room where every single movement echoed off ivory walls. his strides were slow and calm, walking towards someone who had made his heart beat differently. ❝ y' know... for someone who invents half the things that keep this city standing... ❞ a murmur escaped, with head tilting down, nearing noses. ❝ you are really bad at holdin' things that matter. ❞

[grieveme]

there is stuff i want to write here u will see me this weekend

[grieveme]

[grieveme]

the temptation to put jayce on my multi that i forgot existed until now is so

[grieveme]

“Anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt.”

— Princess Arianne Martell

[grieveme]

at least he looked good

[grieveme]

"Crime and Punishment", Fyodor Dostoevsky (translated by Constance Garnett)

[grieveme]

u know what i wish they did go this route while i do like that jayce stayed gentle i do think battling out his frustrations and morals when facing viktor he knows thats no longer rly there it adds another layer of complexity and to what i think personally j4yv1k rly is

[grieveme]

in every universe

[grieveme]

catch bee loudly playing radio static in the hopes that a) jayce will stop and give him attention and/or b) will let him help with whatever he's working on

right, so what was he doing wrong? the equation was right, this just doesn't all fit. far too focused on the current task, the lines he creates on the blueprint is quick, fingers aching and temple throbbing. he had to get this done before he could continue onto the next topic at hand. scribbling some notes by these lines, some questionable, some little reminders to himself, his attention is cut off by the background sound of static that is far too discernible to ignore. quickly turning his head, he spots @stinglike, exhaling a breath he didn't realize he was holding. " sorry, i didn't mean... " and when he finally takes that look out the window, the bright orange glow of the sun shines brightly down into a hue of purple. night time already, huh? he's been going at this for several hours, perhaps a break was due.

hair has fallen over his forehead, lines of exhaustion evident but is speaking like he didn't pull an all - nighter the previous day. " yeah? what's wrong? i'm just... almost done. " taking a look back at the blueprint, it's an amalgamation of theories of a new stand for the hexcore. he's so sick of looking at the color blue at the moment. " i'm hungry. want to come with me to get something to eat? being the lab with nothing to do is, uh pretty boring, huh? "

[grieveme]

well, things seem to be going good so far... he thinks. it definitely could be worse, like being thrown straight into the wolves and getting killed for approaching the absolute wrong guy at the worst time. honestly, silco could easily do it, he wouldn't be missed coming from a lower family in piltover and just a normal academy student with dreams that were being mocked and criticized from his peers and teachers alike. except, this man has given him a chance to state his case and regardless of the times he was called a fool, dumbass, or how did you even get into the academy with unaccomplished dreams like that? he is just a little thankful but won't say it out loud, just in case it was the wrong choice to speak out. when the drink is handed to him, he takes it with shaky fingers but doesn't drink out of it quite yet, muttering a small thank you in the process. taking a look in the cup, the alcohol looks rich and definitely worth way more than he or hextech would ever be. a vague reflection of oneself is shown but perks right up when spoken to once again.

a reaction shows on his face that isn't too unfamiliar: hope.

to do something with his hands, he brings the glass up to his lips and is pleasantly surprised. it's extremely rich but not dry or too fruity. it was delightful. the taste nearly got him distracted by how straightforward silco became, spine straightening. " they already don't believe me that it can't be done, which is why i came down here to begin with. no one believes in what i can accomplish. " and he'll see it through, even if he has to sacrifice his life to do it. this lifetime of work will not go to waste. he feels like bait in shark infested waters but this interaction has given him new founded boldness, the fear being pushed down just enough to have his voice sound shaky and uncomfortable. regardless, he takes his words in, swallowing thickly because he was so confident that the council would be open to this magic that would surely change piltover. he's never interacted with any of them, though, so perhaps silco was right.

before going to take another sip, brows furrow, voice raising: daring. " what? it would be too unstable to bring it down here. " the rough sphere of a crystal is already made, however extremely volatile and reactive. he needs to get it secure before it gets shared with the public, if at all. he's asking a big demand, but given his position in this exchange, he doesn't exactly have an option to debate nor dispute. " hextech will be possible, i'll make sure of it. but it might take many more months, o - or years, to be able to use it without the threat of it possibly exploding, or worse. " what worse could it be without the looming warning of death? not being successful, where he's counted as a fraud and a scammer for not promising the healthy future of this to help the common man. lips press together, because not only that, the council will want to be the first ones to ever hold a successful, working invention of hextech. it'll be complicated to bring it down to zaun himself. it would be a future him problem, wouldn't it? not worry about the finer print during the now. this is all what if, because what if they don't believe in what change this will bring?

he continues, already knowing the answer to this. curiosity killed the cat, isn't that how the saying goes? " hypothetically, what would happen if you weren't the first to hold it? ― or go back on our agreement? "

𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫… 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝.

Rarely was he presented with easy means to do so, and even now, with someone clearly breaking the laws of topside and simultaneously likely going against a variety of other rules laid out by the Academy, Silco decided to dig even deeper. One could never know how well connected someone was, a fact that was true both for Zaun and for the people across the bridge.

So far, things looked rather easy ― especially with how well behaved the younger man sat back down as soon as he was told, resigning to the authority he faced in these parts. Regardless, the Industrialist didn’t believe in easy things. Nothing was ever as simple as people made it out to be.

 Remaining where he stood, awaiting to hear what Jayce would want to drink, every micro-reaction was carefully filed away after observing, a quiet, humorless chuckle falling from his lips at the request for wine. 

Of course it would be wine.

Turning his back and placing his own glass back on the surface beneath the cabin, he brought forth an expensive looking Noxian flask of dark red liquid, pouring it into a crystal glass after uncorking, then handing it to the other man sitting there like a scolded school boy.

A brow lifted at the question given instead of an answer, head canting to the side as uneven eyes once again lingered on the other’s youthful face, tempted to file him away as naive and inexperienced, but careful to not underestimate what was presented to him.

If he had learned one thing in his life, it was to read people. And this one had potential.

Something that would either prove useful, or dangerous in the future. Maybe even both.

“We do not lack for money,” he replied evenly at last in agreement to the sentiment of them not needing compensation of that kind, least of all from Topside, something  quietly amused living somewhere in his voice as he reached for his own glass again, swaying it to let the golden liquid slosh around.

More words of doubt, insecurity oozing from every syllable as Jayce seemed desperate to hear what he was risking was worth the effort, something Silco easily could provide. Yet he let the silence linger once again, as if mulling over the same doubt and worries.

“Here is what I think of all this, Jayce.”

Enough of all formalities, the sugarcoating thrown out the window, as Silco slowly started to walk, a leisure pace traced carefully behind the chair the other one was seated in, rounding him as he talked.

“If you truly are able to create a device to harness magic, it will change the world. I imagine many of your esteemed colleagues at the Academy will try to intervene because they fear change. The same goes for the Council. Your path down here will seem like a nice little stroll in comparison.”

He arrived back at his desk, placing his glass on top before leaning on the surface with both hands, fingers spread wide, uneven eyes staring intently at Jayce.

“But they are as greedy as they are careful. And when the time comes that they recognize the immeasurable potential of your invention, when they decide to use it for their own benefit…” The corner of Silco’s mouth pulled up ever so slightly, a faint glow pulsing in his bad eye in the twilight of his office.

“When that day comes, I want to be the one already possessing your creation.”

[grieveme]

sensitive and still fresh. you don't normally act like this, he tells himself. shoulders relax, however, hands running through the hair that has fallen right in his face, before peaking right back at viktor. " yeah, you're right. why would you? " it's a small chuckle, but not in the least bit sincere. still, he watches, not making any moves to stop his thievery. the core has already been taken, what else here was of importance that he just simply wouldn't care for. starting from scratch had never been an issue before, so why should it be now? he lets him take and take, and he doesn't plan to stop that. not right now, at least. he waves a hand, rolling his eyes.

" nah, don't want to. you might not be here for me, but here i am anyways. " shoulders shrug, shaking off the uneasy feeling of that dream that still lingers and lingers, before standing and walking to approach. he keeps a few feet away, arms folding and taking a half - attempted look past the metal of viktor's arm. " no way you're just going to leave after you take what you need. " his voice has its usual edge to it but softens into something that is reserved only to the privacy of viktor's room down in the pits of zaun. " i wanted to see you. how lucky of me. " the near permanent frown and distaste that's almost always present on his face melts as there's no fear for the fingers that ghost over his hip before leaning forward to press a kiss of his own to the back of his neck. maybe viktor just wants to be in and out, he's not in the mood for physical violence today.

" stay for a little bit, v. your freak robot experiments can last a couple hours more away from you, hm? " words are a mutter but discernible, pressing his forehead into the coolness of steel. there's still a bitterness where flesh got replaced with metal. he yearns for viktor's warmth. " i've been busy myself. " however, lips split into a grin, glancing up through his bangs. " you've been missing me. " it's said as a statement not a question, cocky in his assumption. " right? hm, look at me, v. "

all his inhibitors are in place, both chemical and electrical, but viktor goes through them all the same ; each and every one working as intended, dulling his pain receptors to a baseline where a thing as banal as an insult shouldn't even register. yet hurts unique to jayce have always had a way of getting under viktor's skin in a way that no augment has been able to fix. so it comes as no surprise that when jayce recoils from him it feels sharp and jagged, pulling at viktor in places that still remain soft under layers of steel. he can't hide his frown from jayce without his mask, but its source needn't be known to the defender.

" your eyes? what would i do with those useless things? " it's a strange question. organic eyes hold little interest for viktor who all told has been considering replacing his own. jayce must still be disoriented from sleep — something viktor is starting to wish he hadn't woken from.

he turns away from jayce, towards a smaller workbench overflowing with unfinished machinery and spare parts. " in fact, what makes you think i'm here for you at all? "

he's not here for jayce, as it stands. viktor had come all the way to piltover, all the way to jayce's lab, for materials — things that are difficult to source in zaun, but that the man of progress would barely even miss, could resupply himself with without so much as denting his budget, viktor is certain. seeing jayce's sleeping form had pulled viktor off course, his initial goal all but forgotten at the sight of his former partner. asleep, jayce had looked younger than his years, untroubled in a way viktor hasn't been privy to in a long, long time — he can barely recall the last time jayce had looked at him without some dark thought weighing the scales in his heart, keeping the love in there in check.

" go home, defender. you're getting too old to fall asleep in your lab. "

[grieveme]

the lab wasn't a safe place to be anymore, and here down in the heat of the forge was somewhere those thoughts were put to rest. frustrations, conflict, and uncertainty shows itself in every loud ting, ting, ting! in his craft. he may be getting light headed, or not. muscles ache, tightening. he's been too long down here but there's a falter with a strike. being watched wasn't something new, feeling eyes bore into his back where old scars healed. it's like his body moves on its own, the warmth of the flames not so prominent against sweat soaked, grease stained skin when foot steps stop right in front of them. he looks amused, a jesting comment but light - hearted all the same. " nervous? no. not every day someone watches me work in my forge. it's usually in the lab. " except some anxiety had laced into his veins, suddenly feeling extremely self - aware, especially feeling the ghost of fingertips trailing right down his body. the quickness of his breath stills in his lungs, watching carefully.

and suddenly, it's like the world stops. romantic urges were not obvious and had a lacked interest. no need, no desire. however, he's been having these weird thoughts lately. too many feelings of unexpected yearning that makes his brows furrow, or heart skip a beat when meeting eye to eye. it's simple things, even enjoying their company, not wanting the meeting to end. it's unfamiliar and scary, almost sure that he's making them up. rather, mistaking them for something else. " bored? i hardly believe that, especially coming from you. " he's sure though, the tension of an invisible line close to snapping. lips part to say something, too entranced to capture the reality of the situation. the fire continues to engulf, project abandoned on the anvil. regardless, he feels hot and not because of anything previously. they're daring him, waiting for his piece of the board to move. mutuals romantic feelings is foreign, but right now, he's as fluent as he's ever been, as sure as anyone else.

when they check, thumb pressing against his pulse, his beat quickens whilst swallowing a large lump that held itself in his throat. say something. he thinks, letting the silence linger on longer than he should've allowed before shaking his head with an answer that made itself present before one realized there was no option to begin with. without realization, he hovers, leaning a little closer than he was before. " no... i don't want you to go. " i missed you. the thought flows through before he can smash it down.

@grieveme , jayce : ❛ you know, there's such a thing as looking too long. ❜ ohhh u think im attractive ohhh u wanna kiss so bad *hypnotizes u*

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 where thoughts are not laid to rest but put on a backlog, a continuous gear turning for late nights such as these. their arms wrap against themselves, fingers peek out from half cut leather gloves and thrum against their sides, deep, pondering thought, it had lead them forgetful, a down trodden road they dared not venture before. and yet, they wander, aimlessly alone as their eyes blink past the burning flames of this forge, an elven visage, lilac and daringly soft, meekly stares ahead. it finds home against the man that works tirelessly away at his many projects, the beaded sweat that falls across exposed skin, the contracting veins that pulse with strength. they have not bothered before, to truly take him in, what he stands for, who he is, what he looks like. perhaps they had figured, he would be too busy, enraptured in his own work to bother sparing a glance at their own ━ though they have set out to be a fool, for they lean against the cooling brick and there their eyes fixate, remaining against him.

and his voice sounds muffled at first, something distant, something to be wary of. oh. they have not noticed him before. not in this manner, not in ... they have not noticed how easy it were to be, to be lost here, to find meaning behind something, anew. a wavering shift in their chest, and a wandering hand is guided forward. their own, lands against his arm, a curious tilt of their head. their thumb swipes against the condensation built, the rest of their fingers dig, faintly, into the flesh there. the sound of the crashing metal had stopped. ❛ hm. ❜ a gentle sound of ratification filters through their throat. finally, they blink upwards, eyes matching height with his own. ❛ was i making you nervous? ❜ tone has shifted, from where it once had settled into something playful, sardonic, now befalls into someplace sunken, low pitched and tame. a fondness produced in words, where genuinity had been asking this question, rare in this vulnerability.

fingers slip down his arm, taking purchase around his wrist, now bringing it up to their joint eyeline. their grip has visibly tightened, holding him here in this tightrope dance. ❛ would you believe me, if i told you that i was merely bored? ❜ calloused thumb finds his pulse, it measures his heartbeat, searching for the truth, or the quickened rhythm of dishonesty. what better way to face your own brewing emotions, THEN WITH A LOADED GUN, ready to sound off, ready to blow back at you and send you flying into the hungry flames. rejection is never a comfortable place to be in, a risk set into place now, chess piece moved, awaiting for his own, or the forever stalemate to a one sided match. ❛ you do not wish for me to be here? you wish for me to leave? ❜

[grieveme]

i made this because sometimes i need my own motivator..........