groverspeak

[groverspeak]

longing thoughts

୨୧:🫀 🎧 - title is very self explanatory. I miss you.

you didnt wanna wait for me forever, so now I have to wait for you. you left while I was picking up my own remains, shattered and thrown about, and now I struggle to carry them all as I pace up and down the sidewalk of the house that could’ve been ours.

⋆ ☄︎.·˚ * 🔭 - “words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late.” taylor swift, sad beautiful tragic.

[groverspeak]

enneagram type ones - a yap-session on the reformer from a reformer

୨୧:🫀 🎧 - as an enneagram type one, I think we're probably one of the rarest, and (often) most misunderstood types. we're seen as hard-asses or too "uptight" and, on paper, that looks about right. but, our motivation and inner thoughts are forgotten. how can you judge us if you don't know us? or know our morals? people fail to see us as humans with true, full emotions- when we are some of the most sensitive types. I think this a crime often done against most "logical" (though I hate using that term) types. shoutout to all my other enneagram type ones, here's a playlist (not by me)!

type title: the Reformer

good qualities: a defined moral code, strong sense of right and wrong. purpose-driven. loyal. dedicated, passionate. honest. direct. idealistic. helpful. conscientious. reliable. discerning. noble. wise. caring. intelligent (but not in a type 5 way). perfectionism to a healthy, moving degree.

fatal flaw: anger. this sounds evil, right? how can a noble, moral individual also struggle with anger? that’s because no fatal flaw is just that word alone, a ones anger isn’t explosive, irrational rage all the time. enneagram ones place all they have into virtue— because of their need to be perfect, morally correct. a ones anger is derived from their other flaws, spurred on by resentment and self-righteousness. “buried anger at self denial”, as the EnneaApp calls it.

negative qualities: critical (to others and self). emotional rigidity. holds themselves and others to very high standards. perfectionism to a toxic degree.

“vice to virtue”: anger to serenity. this can sound confusing, or unrelated— but, the phrase “resentment to serenity” might make a bit more sense. anger to serenity is the process of going from having a preoccupied mind, beating a million miles an hour and full of self-judgement and melancholy to having a mind that understands you can’t be perfect all the time, and entertaining a space of inner peace and self-acceptance.

fictional characters: optimus prime. steve rogers. mary poppins. hermione granger, percy weasley. bruce wayne. spock. mycroft holmes. atticus finch. javert. kate laswell, vladmir makarov.

real-life examples: emma watson. c.s lewis. julie andrews. plato. venus williams. immanual kant. confucius.

motivation: enneagram ones are the crusaders. their goal is to live righteously, be right, and improve the world. this is heavily supported by a one’s strong sense of justice, and strong moral code. they are motivated by a want for a just and morally correct world and environment.

fear: being wrong, evil, or morally corrupt. as well as being incorrect. this is often why one’s are referred to as the “perfectionists.”

how they behave at their worst: because of a one’s strong moral code— if this code becomes impure or corrupt, everything else they do will also be that. like a super villain, almost. overly critical, judgmental. if something goes wrong, they internalize that and it’s immediately imperfect or flawed. they can often become obsessively self-righteous. tend to be incredibly rigid, almost seething and will hyper-fixate on small issues. they become merciless. enneagram ones, when they believe something heavily, know that they are right, they are loyal to their beliefs— if an unhealthy ones beliefs and code are challenged, they become ruthless, almost animalistic.

how they behave at their best: enneagram ones, at their best, can be incredibly compassionate and kind. their wisdom, rationality, and nobility often allows them to reach people further than most types in an honest way, because it aligns with their morality— because they want and long to do and be right and just. they are often consistent. good work-ethic. perfectionism leading into excellence (they excel in what they love). logical, while still remaining human. honest, won’t bullshit you.

what their anger is like: punitive. physical tension in the body. intolerant. wrathful. arrogant.

what their sadness is like: sadness that manifests in the form of frustration. they have a secret level of melancholy and shame. when unhealthy, they disintegrate into an enneagram type 4– being melodramatic, melancholic, self-loathing. though, this isn’t often through an internal-perspective, it can be twisted into looking inward. the inner-critic within them becomes louder, relentless and self-hating. type ones actually have a tendency to be depressed, and will also typically struggle with alcoholism, eating disorders, etc… any disorder or habit that gives them control. this is why OCD is also seen within them. they are often reduced into being cynical.

what sets them apart from other types: their need to be good. most enneagram types don’t fully care about being morally correct, but ones do. a ones natural nature is to strive and reach for the stars. and though it can be depressing to think about, the life of a one can actually be incredibly beautiful. ones are rare because most people aren’t natural-born leaders with the level of self-reflection (when healthy) to see who they are, and what their morals are. ones change and define the world, and everyone around them to be better. ones often see something nobody else does: good in people, how to improve, etc… despite being rather emotionally rigid, ones can have some of the highest emotional intelligence levels, because of who they are. if a one can work past that fear of not being perfect, allow the icy surface of their heart to melt, a one can love like sanctification and revival. a one sparks life in everything they touch, because when they commit— it’s out of nothing but a want to be good.

info dump: enneagram type ones are second most likely to experience melancholy, second to type fours.

⋆ ☄︎.·˚ * 🔭 - I love ones, and I love being a one, if you couldn’t tell. reach for the stars, ones! we’re some of the only people who’ll try. I know the inner-critic drives us all mad, that the need to be good enough— and never seeming to reach that— is over-arching and doesn’t ever leave. but, someday you’ll be seen. and even if you don’t fully grasp that now, know that your fellow ones will always understand: because we see deeper than most.