gunwoo-bh

[gunwoo-bh]

music healed him. so he is using it to heal others as well.

{cr. 0613data}

[gunwoo-bh]

you like because, you love despite part five [yours or mine?] - myg

yours or mine?

chef!yoongi x korean!f!doctor!reader | mdni 18+

summary »» Your friendship always made sense to you and those around you. It wasn’t difficult when both your parents grew up together as best friends too. Your moms always used to refer to your friendship as being written in the stars, whereas your dads believed it impossible for you two, being girl and boy, to be best friends. Your mothers constantly remind them how wrong they’ve been to believe that. Or were they?

cw »» fluff, swearing, flirting, talks of illness (cancer) and treatments, talks of dying, physical affection, dual povs, lots of sadness, some angst, pet names, yoongi is gone and a sucker for reader

wc »» 7k

author’s note »» SURPRISE AGAIN! I managed to finish this in record time and it has been sitting there for a couple of days now. So here we are! WOW. And I mean that, WOW! I am completely amazed at the response for this fic so far and I love you all for reading! I am getting really excited for where I am taking these two! I hope you enjoy this one too but fair warning, it is a rough and emotional one but thank you for sticking with it.

You stop straight in your tracks when you see the person who is standing at your office door. It is not everyday you get this kind of visit and quite frankly, something about the stance makes you feel uneasy.

“Hello, Mrs. Yoo.” 

Mrs. Yoo is Yoongi’s grandmother. You adore her. She’s like family but you also haven’t seen her in over two years so her sudden visit at the hospital intrigues you. 

“Would you have time for an old lady like me?” She asks.

You glance down to your wrist watch then back at her, “I could do lunch?” 

She smiles as you go into your office, grabbing your wallet and you follow her as you walk just across the street from the hospital to go for food. You’re surprised she doesn’t want to go to Yoongi’s restaurant and you even push for that, but she insists she will go later. 

You’re sitting down as you look at her from across the table, “So, what brings you to Seoul?” 

“How have you been? You look like you’re busy.” She deflects and you can’t help but smile.

“I am great actually. And yes, busy is definitely the word I would use for it.” You chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Internal medicine is…non-stop.” 

“Make sure you rest and feed yourself. I’ll tell my grandson to make sure he keeps an eye on you.” You blush at that, shaking your head. 

“There’s no need, he already is…” You catch the quick curious look she gives you as you add. “So, you’re going to see him later I assume?”

She nods, “I called him, told him I would be in town for the day so we are having dinner tonight. You should come, I would love to see you both.”

You shake your head, “Oh I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with him…”

She looks up at you from under her eyelashes, “Are you available tonight?”

You sigh softly, “Yes…”

“Then you are having dinner with us…I am meeting him at six.” She smiles proudly and you know you can’t say no. 

“I might be a tad late, I have a meeting right before that…” You hope it’ll dissuade her but she simply gives you a tight lipped smile. 

“We’ll wait on you then…” She chuckles lowly when you’re left staring at her. “You’re not getting out of this.”

“I wasn’t trying to–”

“Liar. Whatever the reason may be? I want to see you and my grandson. And we both know how rare it is for both of you to come back home or for me to come down here, so…”

You stay silent for a moment, finally looking up at her, “Where and when is dinner?”

“His home. At six.” She is grinning as you sink in your seat further.

You nod as you sigh softly, “So, what brings you to Seoul all by yourself?”

Her demeanor changes slightly; her eyes snap down to her lap, her shoulders slump, and she suddenly fidgets with the sleeves of her top. You straighten in your seat, carefully watching her as your leg begins to shake immediately. Your gut feeling tells you something is wrong, and you brace for the worst.  

“You were at the hospital for an appointment, right?” She nods quietly. “And I’m assuming you were sent here to see a specialist, meaning it’s a condition the local hospital back home couldn’t handle or you were looking for a second opinion…” She smiles softly as you speak. “And if it’s a second opinion, you were either not happy with the first one or… you’re hoping the second gives you a better chance for treatment, which would indicate that…”  

You meet her eyes, and her lips are slightly upturned as she sighs, “I’m dying.”

“What?”

“I’ve been really tired, y’know, just suffering god awful belly aches that just…” she groans, rubbing her abdomen, “and I thought it was the diabetes, and it’s been getting worse…so I went to see my doctor.”

“What is it?”

“Stage four pancreatic cancer.” 

Your heart drops, but your job has taught you to remain composed, “Where has it spread?”

“My liver and lymph nodes so far…I have another test tomorrow to check my lungs.”

Your brain reviews all the treatment possibilities you’re aware of, considering what next steps an oncologist would recommend for her given the late stages of her condition. You lean forward, joining your hands together as you look at her. 

“What did the oncologist recommend for treatment? Have you gotten any? Does your family know? Does Yoongi know?” She reaches over, covering your hands with one of hers. 

All you can focus on is how devastated the family will be, especially Yoongi. He and his grandmother share a special bond, one that rivals the closeness he has with his parents and you. Why are you seemingly the first to find out? You assume it has to do with your being a doctor. Whatever the reason, you suppress the devastation you feel at the news. 

“You’re the first to know.” 

Fuck. 

“Why?”

The smile she gives you is gentle, comforting even, “Because I knew you would understand and respect what I’m going to do next…”

You stare at her with knitted brows, mouthing the air, “And what is that?”

Her smile is sad as she looks at you, “The doctor listed off lots of medical things that were just too much for me to really understand but my understanding is that it would give me a few extra months, maybe, at the most…”

“Okay…”

She turns, digging in her purse for something as she whips out papers and hands them to you. “I asked the oncologist to give me those today. Can you take a look and answer me one question?”

Your eyes flit from her to the papers in your hands as you start reading over it all. It’s her medical file from her very first appointment to the one she had today. You feel her eyes boring into you as she watches. Your heart continues to shatter the more you read, flipping over every page. You don’t even notice when she orders for you both or when the food is brought out, but when you finally finish reading, the stew in front of you is still steaming hot.

You hand the papers back to her after a moment, blinking softly as the reality of her diagnosis and prognosis washes over you. 

“What’s that question?”

“What is the likelihood of decent quality of life if I pursue any of the treatments this oncologist recommended to me today?” 

And you just feel like you’ve been punched because what a question that is. 

“It depends on many factors like age, previous health history, the spread of the cancer…” you’re rambling as you inhale and exhale deeply. “But with the treatment recommended here…chemo, radiotherapy and I see he’s even suggested some targeted and clinical therapies too, that’s without mentioning the medication to keep all the symptoms at bay as best as possible…” you sigh. “And then there’s pain management too…”

She squeezes your hands tighter, making you look at her, “Would I have a decent quality of life?”

You feel your eyes filling up with tears already, lower lip trembling, “Given…everything I know, and I’m sure I’d need to read up on more in regards to your case, but…” you pause, bracing yourself, “given you follow the course of treatment recommended? You’d most likely end up bed ridden, needing help for…everything and it’s going to happen fast…”

“How fast?” 

“It really depends, but it is most likely to be…difficult. And it’ll be quick, the shift from feeling good to bad…” 

She continues squeezing your hand, “So, I wouldn’t be myself anymore…”

“I mean, yes, but…life as you know it would never be the same…” you sniffle, trying to stop the tears from falling. 

“And if I did no treatment…what would that be like?” 

“Cancer moves at different speeds for everyone so I can’t say but you wouldn’t be…undergoing all those treatments meaning you wouldn’t be dealing with the side effects of that…” you lean back in your seat, “but there’s no guarantee how quickly or how aggressive the cancer on its own will get…”

“But I get to be myself for as long as I can be…” 

You nod softly, “Yeah…for as long as the cancer lets you…”

She smiles solemnly, “I figured as much…”

You wet your lips, “Are you telling Yoongi tonight?”

She meets your gaze and apologetically looks on, “Yes. I…I did miss you and wanted to see you, but I need you there to make him see what you see in regards to my decision…”

“What do you mean? You want me there to convince him that the decision you’re making is the right one?”

She nods, “That boy will drag me into more hospitals than I can count to try to fix me….I can’t do that, I do not have the energy to do that…”

You raise your hand, chest heaving, “Please, please don’t ask me to get in the middle of it…” you feel terrified of having to face Yoongi with this, “there’s no right or wrong with deciding what you would like to do for terminal cancer…and…”

“He won’t see it that way…” 

You brace yourself, lower lip trembling, “And it won’t change the outcome…” you gasp, covering your mouth as you realize what you’ve said, “oh my god, I’m so sorry…I didn’t…”

She’s blinking softly, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “You’re right, but you know he will take it hard and won’t let up.” 

“It’s your decision…your choice to handle how you want…” you let the sentence hang, wiping away tears. 

“How I want to live the rest of my life? However short that is?”

You nod softly, “Yeah…” she smiles sadly, “but I am begging you to not ask me to fight that battle for you because…while I support your decision as…”

“Family, you’re family. Don’t ever doubt that…”

You smile, sad, and it never quite reaches your eyes, “And I support that decision even as a doctor…but don’t ask me to fight that battle for you to him, because…because I won’t…I can’t…”

She grows quiet and for a moment you think you’ve upset her or worse, disappointed her because it feels like it’s been hours that she’s gone silent. She looks up at you and her face changes, her features soften even more and she smiles at you. 

“When did you realize you loved him?”

The question should have startled you, but you’re actually not surprised and for the first time you realize you actually have an answer to the question.

“I’ve always loved him, but to answer your question, just recently…” 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to fight my battle to convince him that I’m making the right decision…” 

You speak up quickly, “I respect and support your decision, and if…if Yoongi needs to talk through the logistics I will be there to support you too, but I won’t be the one explaining to him why it’s right because he won’t see it that way, not at first…”

“You think he will?” 

You nod, “Eventually…but remember, you’re telling him that no matter what you do? It’s terminal. Treatment or not, it leads to one thing and one thing only…He’s going to be devastated…”

“I know…” she takes one bite of her food and stops. “I’m sorry to have burdened you on your lunch break with this…”

It’s your turn to reach over and squeeze her hand, “No. I’m…grateful you felt like you could come to me. And don’t worry, I will help Yoongi and your family understand the real impact of treatment and no treatment if they need to, especially if it helps them understand the decision you made…”

“Thank you…” she smiles gently, grateful to you. “So, my grandson…”

You can’t help the laugh that leaves you, “Let’s not…”

She leans forward and smiles, “Would you really deny a dying woman this?”

Your jaw goes slack, eyes wide as you stare at her in amazement, “Wow, wow, you…you have come to terms with death very quickly…”

She chuckles, “I am too old, and too sick now, to waste any time…”

“Well, I suppose when you say it like that…” you blush, “Yes, your grandson?”

She wiggles in her seat, making you chuckle, “Are you two?”

“No! No, not at all. I…We’re just friends. I just realized that y’know…” you frown as you realize just how easy it had been to admit your feelings for Yoongi out loud, but also because of something else, “Why would you think we were together?”

“Because he loves you too.”

Another freight train hits you, the second, or third, that day and she can tell because the smile that once graced your features falls so fast you can’t even explain what just happened. 

“We’re just friends…”

She’s confident as she shrugs, “If that’s easier to believe…”

You’re about to question her further when your phone buzzes about three times in a row and as you look at it, you slump in your seat and look at her, “It’s work. I–I have to go…I’m so sorry…”

Mrs. Yoo looks over to the waiter, asking them to pack your untouched meal to go, “No, I’m the one who is sorry. I basically made it impossible for you to enjoy your meal…”

“No, no. I understand. I can eat in my office later…” you assure her as you both stand up, waiting for your packed meal, “I’m sorry I have to leave like this…”

“I will be seeing you later, yes?” She smiles hopefully. 

You sigh loudly but you nod, “Yes, I will be at Yoongi’s the moment my meeting ends. I promise.” 

She walks around to give you a quick hug, holding your shoulders when she pulls away, “Good. You go, I will be fine.” 

You nod, grabbing the food as you thank her quickly before rushing back to work. The moment she’s out of your sight you can’t help the few tears that fall down your cheeks as you wipe them just as quickly as they fall. 

You dread the next few hours, but more so, you dread the heartbreak Yoongi is about to undergo.

This is going to suck.

When you enter Yoongi’s apartment, your nostrils are met with the fantastic smell of whatever he has cooked up for his grandmother. After your meeting, which ended early, you took the liberty of going home to wash up and get changed into something comfortable. The entire drive back you are nervous tapping a rhythm on the steering wheel and even when you pull into a parking spot you take your sweet time before going up. 

You announce yourself, kicking your shoes off and taking your coat off, looking up when Yoongi comes into view and you start smiling softly, “Hi…”

“Hey, doll…”

“Your grandma here?”

He nods, “Yeah,” he leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, “she wanted to wait for you, pretty much insisted…”

You step forward to stand in front of him, waiting to pass him, “How was work?”

“Always the same. Busy. Jungkook is running the place tonight. I may not have a restaurant in the morning…” he jokes, chewing the inside of his cheek. 

You shove his shoulder as you move past him, “He’s run the place without you before, he will be fine…”

He grabs your forearm and gets eye level with you, “You good?”

Nodding, you give him a tight smile, “Yeah, I’m just tired. Long day.”

Oh, you hate yourself for this because right away you can tell that he knows you just lied to him, but he lets it go, which confuses you even more because why would he? He usually loves to call you out on your shit. His fingers linger around your arm longer than usual before you walk into the dining room. His grandmother gives you a gentle smile as you sit across from her at the table. Yoongi pours you a glass of your favorite wine, placing it in front of you as he finds his seat next to you. You glance from his grandmother to Yoongi with the knowledge of what is coming soon.

“So, Chef Min,” you turn to him, his gaze is piercing as he looks at you, “what’s on the menu?”

When he shifts, you feel his knee touching yours and your heart tightens, “What do you think?”

“I can smell the stew,” you glance at Mrs. Yoo, smiling softly, “but I can also smell the meat, I’m assuming you made some Kalbi…no, bulgogi…” 

He grabs your hand, squeezing it before looking over to his grandmother, “I’m gonna stop you there before you ruin our entire dinner…”

“Hey!” He stands up to go back to the kitchen, squeezing your hand one more time as he glances over his shoulder at you with a small smile.

Turning back to face his grandmother, your eyes meet and she has a sudden sadness – even concern – cast over her features as she raises her eyebrows at you and you shake your head. Not right now. You rub the top of your thighs back and forth, trying to calm your nerves as you grab your wine to gulp half of it down. She gives you a surprised look, more than amused by your need for wine to tame your anxiety. 

“Not funny…” you tell her, sighing loudly as she chuckles. 

Yoongi looks at you two, balancing a few side dishes in his hands as he grins, “What are you two up to?” 

“Having a staring contest, what do you think?” She says, which makes you snort. 

You’re laughing softly as you shake your head, releasing a shaky breath as Yoongi begins placing the food down on the table. You’re excitedly shifting in your seat, stomach grumbling as you admire the feast he’s prepared. 

“Wow, you went all out.” 

“Well, when my grandma told me she wanted to have dinner and that she had invited you, I knew I had to go all out…” He grins as he places the final plates of food down. This gentle but playful Yoongi is your favourite and it is a rare sight, considering he only gets this way around his grandmother, his mother and you. 

Min Yoongi is a ladies’ man and not in the usual way one would expect. His softness surfaces around the women he’s close to in his life. That’s not to say he doesn’t get along with the men in his life, but his energy tends to gravitate towards women. He relaxes as he sits next to you, gazing softly while you start grabbing food to put on your plate. You catch him in the act, and he doesn’t look away, his lips parting slightly to inhale sharply.

“This looks amazing,” his grandmother’s voice startles you both, “you didn’t have to outdo yourself like that… ”

He shrugs, “It’s not much…” 

You smile to yourself when he blushes, slightly embarrassed at receiving a compliment from his grandmother. It fills you with pride when he breathes out, smacking his lips together as he groans after a moment, “Okay, enough. Enjoy the food. You’re welcome.” 

You both laugh at how uneasy he is as he shoves a large forkful of meat in his mouth, making you chuckle as he avoids eye contact with you both. 

His grandmother keeps conversation going, setting a comfortable and easygoing tone to your evening, letting it be filled with laughter and funny stories from your childhood. She reminisces as she watches the two of you talk about the day you went to the zoo and Yoongi had convinced you to go alone to see the lion enclosure, giving your parents a fright so much so they had to deploy security to make sure neither of you had been taken. 

It still embarrasses you still to this day that you had given them such a heart attack and they loved reminding you of it. Including his grandmother. Her reminiscing has very little to do with just being with the two of you. No, being with the two of you makes her want to reminisce before she’s too sick and too ill to remember. 

And almost right when you expect it – right at the end of your meal – you see her brace to begin the conversation you have been dreading all day but Yoongi beats her to it.

“So, what were you doing down here in the city?” He asks, leaning back. “Did you drive yourself down?”

She shakes her head, “No, no, no. Don’t worry about that…I took the train down. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you but I know you’d worry…”

He snorts, “I would have…”

“But I came down here for a reason and it wasn’t shopping…” he chuckles at her words as you become stiff next to him, shifting away from him. He notices it because he frowns as he looks at you, trying to decipher your body language as his grandmother speaks up. “I was actually here because of a doctor’s appointment…”

Here we go…

Yoongi’s entire energy shifts, right away knowing something is off based on how quiet you are and how relaxed his grandmother is when she says that. He’s often been in positions like this where dread crawls all the way up his spine and lives there in his shoulders until he finds out what it’s all about. Until he gets a reason for it. 

His mouth is dry when he speaks up, “A doctor’s appointment? Isn’t Dr. Cho still practicing back home?” 

Maybe her doctor retired. That’s likely. It’s not that though, because you wouldn’t be pulling away from him in discomfort. Yoongi is left uneasy as he leans back in his chair, inhaling sharply as he crosses his arms over his chest. He knows he’s immediately defensive and he shouldn’t be, because he truly won’t know until she continues speaking.

“He’s still my doctor and I did go see him.” He gulps. “He referred me to a doctor in Seoul, to make a very long story short. I had some tests run because I wasn’t feeling so great recently…”

He sighs, “What’s going on?”

She pushes her plates aside to make space so she can lean against the table, staring at him before she pushes herself up and shuffles closer to him. Yoongi’s eyes are trained on her the entire time, suddenly feeling his heart beating out of his chest when she finally grabs for his hands. 

“The doctor confirmed to me today that I have cancer. Pancreatic cancer.” Yoongi squeezes her hands and he releases a loud, shaky breath as he listens intently. “Stage four. It spread and is going to continue spreading. It’s terminal.” 

He can’t believe how lackadaisical she is with this, her tone gentle – maybe somewhat anxious – but nonetheless so restrained, like she’s practiced this all day. And his train of thought suddenly shifts to you. Oh shit. 

“Did you know?” His head snaps so fast that it makes you jump. 

His grandmother tugs firmly on his hands to bring his attention back on her, “Yes, she does. I told her earlier today. Do not take this out on her, Min Yoongi. I put her in that position.” She tugs on his hands again, which forces him to look at her and not you. “I needed a second opinion. Someone who would be honest. Someone who – even with medical knowledge – wouldn’t treat me like a patient. But like me. So, yes, I went to her.”

He glances at you, softer this time, as he sighs and reaches out to you, your hand meeting his as you lace your fingers with his. He looks back at his grandmother, one hand in hers and the other in yours. His breathing increases, his chest hurting now as he inhales deeply and loudly. 

“So,” he swallows thickly, “what are you gonna do? What did the doctor–what’s it called– what did the oncologist say to you? Like, what are the treatment options? When are they starting? Have you told mom and dad? Is your hospital the best one in terms of that? I mean, not to discredit it, but you said–”

“Stop, stop…” she stops him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her, Yoongi letting go of your hand to squeeze his thighs in the hopes he can ground himself. “Listen to me. Listen to me very carefully…”

Yoongi isn’t known to be emotional, and there are very few things that could make him feel that way. His family is a subject that most people know to approach carefully because of his protectiveness over everyone, particularly the women in his life. He has witnessed how his dad was always ready to drop everything to help his mom or his grandmother. Yoongi learned this behavior from his father and has tried to replicate it with the women in his life—always. They are some of the most influential people in his life, if not the most. Not once has it occurred to him that this could potentially be ripped away from everyone. From him. 

She’s still holding his face and he stares at her as she gives him the saddest smile, one he hasn’t seen since his grandfather died. 

“I’ve decided not to do treatments.” He opens his mouth to protest right away, his eyes filling up with tears so fast as his lower lip trembles. “I can’t do this, okay? Treatments, doctor’s appointments, blood tests, scans, being sicker than I already am…I won’t spend what time I have left doing that.” 

“Have you considered all your options, though? Have you spoken to more doctors?” He turns to you really quickly but glances back to his grandmother, “There are trials that aren’t as invasive…”

He knows exactly how he sounds right now. He bet he sounds exactly like when he was eleven years old after he was told about her first cancer – terrified. It’s almost an exact replica of the moment too – with you by his side holding his hand and his heart breaking the longer reality settled. 

She calls his name, the assertiveness in her tone really pushing the point across that Yoongi was never going to change her mind. She made her decision and that was final. 

“I don’t want to. I know I could. I could be extending my life but I also might not…I might die faster because doing treatments will make me weaker, or sicker…” He doesn’t get it, not yet, but there isn’t much he can do because his grandmother is so certain, she is an immovable object. “And I want to enjoy having this amount of energy for however long I can…But I will be taking some medication to help with the pain…”

He nods softly, his face still in her small hands, “Are you feeling okay?”

She nods, “Mostly, yes. I’m exhausted but I am okay.”

“Mom and dad?”

“I am telling them tomorrow when I get back…I needed to take it in,” she smiles sadly, “and I didn’t know when I’d see you again or how soon, so I knew I needed to tell you in person – today.” Yoongi sniffles, feeling her wipe at the few tears that have fallen. “Also why I went to…” she glances over to you, Yoongi following her line of sight as he takes you in. 

You’re still watching them as you give him the smallest smile, “Hi…” you say softly and Yoongi has never wanted to kiss you more, he thinks. 

“I needed someone who would understand my desires about how I was going to handle it and even as a doctor? I knew she would put me and my wants first instead of her personal hopes…”  she smiles at you, “and she did, even if it hurt her to have to do that…”

She lets go of one of his cheeks, “In the end it’s your life and you did bring up some fair points about not doing treatments…” you’re glancing between him and his grandmother. 

“Would it be bad?” He asks. 

You wrinkle your nose, “I don’t think there is such a thing as bad or good when it comes to treating terminal cancer,” you exhale loudly, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb, “I think what your grandmother is choosing to do is, in my personal and professional opinion, one of the bravest and wisest thing to do considering where she is at in the sickness…” 

He turns to his grandmother and mouths the air, “Y’know, I would have had your back, always…”

She chuckles, “But not at first. And I know that because you were always going to try to fix it. Your dad is the same…” he chuckles, “but there is nothing that can be fixed. I knew you’d come around, but I still wanted someone in my corner…”

He leans back in his seat, his grandmother moving back and letting go of him, but you immediately grab his hand in yours. Yoongi finds comfort in your touch as he rubs his chest.

“So, what’s next?”

She smiles fondly, “I have another appointment in the morning before I get back on the train to go home. I am gonna tell my oncologist what my decision is and I guess we’ll figure out pain management?” She looks over to you for confirmation.

You’re nodding, “Yes, once you’ve told your oncologist your decision? He will insist and try to convince you to get treatment but when he realizes you’ve made your choice? He will talk you through pain management and the medication. You’ll have follow ups to monitor how quickly or slowly this is progressing…but then you just go home and enjoy the time you have left. I would also recommend and sorry, this is the doctor in me coming out,” you giggle apologetically, “that you plan palliative care ahead of time if it ever comes to that so that family are prepared and don’t have to figure that out…”

“Is your appointment at her hospital tomorrow?”

She nods, “Yes, it is.”

You speak up right away, “Would you like me in there with you or would you rather be by yourself?”

“I can come, too…I want to. If you want to…” Yoongi looks on, hopeful. 

Her eyes fill up with tears that never fall as she nods, “Yes. I would appreciate that from both of you.” 

She stands up and Yoongi lets go of you, albeit reluctant to do so, and he hugs her tightly against him. He tries not to cry as he holds – actually clings – onto her like his life depends on it. 

She wipes at her eyes when she pulls back, “Thank you. Thank you for supporting me even though I’m sure it goes against everything you’re used to…”

He huffs, “Yeah, it does…”

She looks between him and you, “I’m relieved you have each other here.” 

Yoongi glances down at you and you look away with a soft smile, standing up as you start grabbing the plates, “I’ll start cleaning up so you two can have a moment…” They both try to protest but you shush them, “Stop. Let me do this. You two talk and plus, you don’t wanna have to think about dishes right now.” 

He sighs, wetting his lips as he checks in with you, “Are you sure?”

He feels himself melting when you place a hand on his chest, patting it softly before confirming, “Yeah, you guys go have a talk. I’ll clean up and don’t worry…” 

His grandma mouths a thank you and tugs on him, Yoongi taking one final glance at you as he takes a seat on the couch. He glances over his grandmother’s shoulder to your back in the kitchen, comfortably moving around like you were home. 

And that – in the heartbreak of this evening – is of the biggest comfort. 

You are elbows deep in dishes, tuning out the conversation that goes on behind you as best as you can. You want to give them as much privacy as possible, but you also know Yoongi will have a lot of cleaning up to do after preparing a feast for you. The least you can do is make it a little easier for him. The sleeves of your sweater are rolled up as you clean one of the larger pots, yawning for the third time in about fifteen minutes.

It is already getting pretty late for you, especially after an emotional day on top of a work day. It feels too long at this point, but this evening could have gone so many ways, and you wanted to be supportive for two people you love very much.

You look over your shoulder when you hear her laughter, shutting off the water, wiping down the counter, and drying your hands. You pick up your phone to check for any urgent texts before glancing tentatively at them. You round the kitchen island to catch their attention while standing there a bit timidly. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say I gotta head home, I have work early tomorrow…” chewing the inside of your cheek you gaze over to Yoongi and he meets your eyes, both of you speaking so loudly to each other. And you’re grateful it isn’t something she can understand. 

“Are you sure? You could probably stay here…”

Yoongi looks ready to protest but you speak up, “Oh, I know, but I do have some things I wanna make sure I get done back home…” your heart breaks a little when he looks absolutely dejected. “I am seeing the both of you tomorrow morning anyways and I’ll get to see you off…” you look at her as she pushes herself off with some difficulty to come and say goodbye.

You wrap your arms around her, hugging her and enjoying the feeling of holding this tiny woman who has been nothing short of family to you. You stay there in her arms until you feel her yawning, chuckling when you pull back to look at her, “You might just be tired too it seems…”

She shrugs you off, chuckling softly, “Maybe. I’m getting old, you know?”

You laugh, “I will see you tomorrow.” You turn to Yoongi. “Send me a text to confirm the type because I will forget…”

She pats your cheek, “I’ll make sure he won’t forget.” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “I won’t forget. I have to call Jungkook to see if he can cover me for a bit in the morning…”

“Poor thing, you’re gonna have to give him a raise…” You tease, biting your lower lip as you look up to him. 

“He gets paid well enough…” 

Your laughter dies down as you look between them, “You get some rest because I know I’m gonna do the same…”

Mrs. Yoo grabs and hugs you once more, squeezing you as tight as her body can before letting you and you turn around to grab your purse. 

“I’ll walk you down to your car.” His voice sends a shiver down your spine. 

You turn around to object but his gaze is so focused, eyes begging you to go along as you nod, “Okay…” you look at her one more time, “goodnight and get some rest..” She waves, waddling her way down the hallway to the guest room and Yoongi gently nods as you start walking to his door.

When you step out into the cold early November air, you pull your coat tighter around yourself as the chill literally crawls over your body. You glance over your shoulder at Yoongi, who has his sweatshirt with no coat on. “You should go back in, it’s cold as hell…”

He shrugs, his breath visible to you. “I’ll be fine…”

You lean against your car, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to warm yourself, while Yoongi appears as unbothered as usual when he steps closer to you. He shoves his hands into his pockets, staring at his feet for a moment before glancing up at you from beneath his eyelashes.

“Thank you. For being here tonight.”

Lips curling gently, you hum, “Of course. She didn’t have to ask me. I would have found some way to be there for you…” you gulp, “and for her.” 

He grins, huffing a laugh, “Yeah, I bet…”

You both stare at each other for too long before breaking into nervous laughter, “Are you okay?”

He nods softly, “No. It’s…the scariest thing ever, but I’m glad that she involved me. That she didn’t lie, y’know?”

“But you still wish she’d let you help try to fix it…”

He snorts, “You know me so well…but,” he licks his lips, sucking in a breath, “she’s right. It’s…the end of her life. She should be able to decide how it goes.”

Nodding in agreement, you move to grab his forearm and he gazes tenderly at you at that moment, “You putting her wants and feelings first probably helps so much with her not feeling guilty about that choice. You’ve helped her a lot, I’m sure…” 

He shifts, your hand slipping down as he grabs your hand in his much larger one as he plays with your fingers, “I hope so…I wish there was more I could do.”

“You’re already doing plenty…” you both fall silent, clearing your throat, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything. I wanted to tell you right away but it wasn’t my place, y’know?”

“Hey, doll?” The nickname sucks the breath right out of you, like every other time he says it. “It’s fine. I…I’m sorry if you felt…pressured or like you lied or betrayed me because that’s not the case. I get it and I’m glad she had you…”

You’re biting your lower lip harder than you should, nodding and humming, “Good. I was worried for a second…” 

He steps closer, tugging your hand up to hold it against his chest, “Don’t. We’re always okay…”

“Good.” 

You’re so close to each other you don’t know what to do with yourself so you look down to your feet, chewing the inside of your cheek so hard you’re afraid you might just make yourself bleed.

“I’m sorry about tonight…”

You snap your head up, his eyes searching yours, “Huh?”

“Tonight?”

And you release the shakiest of laughs, understanding exactly what he means then. 

“It’s okay. It’s one night. Plus, it would be hard to explain to your grandma…” you chuckle timidly. 

About two weeks have passed since Yoongi spent the night in your bed that one day, and without ever truly addressing it, you both have pushed the boundaries of your friendship further. By that, you mean that in the thirteen days – more like nights – since then, ten of those have been spent together. 

As salacious as that sounds even in your head, you know you’ve done nothing more than sleep in the same bed and cuddle, but considering this had never happened before as full-fledged grown-ups? It marks a big change for the two of you. Yet, you have never actually discussed it beyond checking in with each other about whose place you were sleeping at that night. And your crush? It’s not just a crush any longer. No. You were falling in love with him, you were pretty sure. 

“Yeah, she asked to stay and I wanted to text you but…” he lets the sentence die, tugging himself closer to you as you suck in a breath. 

“It’s fine, I swear…” you make the mistake of looking up at him and gulp, because wow, he is that close to you. 

“Make up for it tomorrow?” The husk in his voice sends heat throughout your entire body, head to toe. He plays with your fingers as he waits for an answer. He’s anxious. You feel it in the way he shifts side to side on his feet. 

“Yours or mine?”

He releases a breath of relief, “Yours.” 

You smile gently, a blush softly spreading over your cheeks, “Okay.” 

He looks so happy as he releases his nerves in a quick shake of his entire body which makes you grin softly, but you don’t mention it as he speaks up, “You okay to drive?” 

“Mhm. I am. I had my glass of wine almost three hours ago. I will text you when I get home.” You promise. 

He surprises you when he lets go of your hand, reaching for the back of your head to pull you into a hug as you wrap your arms around his middle. The warmth of his body makes you completely forget about the cold, his body a complete furnace compared to yours. Or maybe your growing feelings for him also fooled your body into thinking it was warmer now that he was holding you. 

He pulls back, his hand buried in your hair as you look up at him, “Drive safe, okay?”

“I promise.” You smile and he reluctantly lets you go, taking a few steps back from you to give you space to get in your car, but you don’t move quite yet. “Goodnight, yeah?” 

“Mhm. You too.” 

“I am not getting in the car until you go, Yoongi. So, get walking…” you’re playful, biting your lower lip. 

“Fine. Fine. I’m going.” He turns around as he sighs loudly, earning a giggle from you. 

He’s halfway up the steps to his apartment when you turn to start keying into your car, opening the door as you toss your purse inside. 

“Hey, doll?”

You turn so fast, the smallest hopeful smile tugging at your lips, “Yeah?”

“I love you, y’know?”

Your heart leaps, the shock visible in your face as you break into a smile when you lean against your open car door. He starts smiling softly, your favourite gummy smile of his showing as he licks his lips. You giggle, covering your face for a second as you sigh. 

“I love you too.”

author’s note »» Thank you for sticking with Yoongi and Reader for a slightly heavier chapter. I have based the illness aspect on my own experience with a family member that battled the same cancer so pardon the inaccuracies. But things are changing and developing between two really oblivious people! Well, let's just say soon? Oblivious no more?! I hope you enjoyed! :D

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post separator credit to @enchanthings-a

[gunwoo-bh]

The Min Yoongi Paradox™: when you are a cocky, flirty, confident superstar and also the shyest, sweetest, giggliest man in the whole world

happy birthday to the absolute love of my life! so thankful that this is the last year i'll have to celebrate without him. i am counting down the days ♡

[gunwoo-bh]

yoongi x his signature smirk

cr. namuspromised

[gunwoo-bh]

countdown to yoongi’s return

d-4 ♡ 달려라 방탄 (run bts) ✦ dance practice

[gunwoo-bh]

👋

[gunwoo-bh]

2 days til my love is coming home I hold on tight, I'm staying strong,

{cr. 0613data}

[gunwoo-bh]

you like because, you love despite part four [because] - myg

because

chef!yoongi x korean!f!doctor!reader | mdni 18+

summary »» Your friendship always made sense to you and those around you. It wasn’t difficult when both your parents grew up together as best friends too. Your moms always used to refer to your friendship as being written in the stars, whereas your dads believed it impossible for you two, being girl and boy, to be best friends. Your mothers constantly remind them how wrong they’ve been to believe that. Or were they?

cw »» fluff, yoongi is also an overthinker, reader is crushing hard, secret pining, swearing, dual pov, terrified yoongi, physical affection (cuddling?)

wc »» 7.4k

author’s note »» SURPRISE EVERYBODY! It came a day earlier. THANK YOU everyone for all the love for this. I do have to say pardon my absence in the comments, I've been dealing with some family emergency but I am back now. I am so so happy to continue exploring this relationship between Yoongi and Reader! This chapter contains dual POVs and to make it clear it is Yoongi's POV the beginning of the section will start with a bold orange letter! Anything else is the reader's POV! I hope you enjoy!! :D ALSO. The boys are almost all back!

After circling three times to find a parking spot, you decide to give up and drive down a road you know leads to an underground parking lot. Glancing at the clock on your dashboard, you let out a loud sigh. Your mom is going to have such a laugh when she realizes how stressed you are about arriving late to lunch. This woman has instilled the best manners in you, and you constantly fear disappointing her. As you pay on your phone while walking to the restaurant, you look up and down to avoid getting run over.

Checking your emails and texts simultaneously, your fingers are typing faster than your brain can process all the information on your screen. The last few weeks have been incredibly busy with work, all while trying to maintain some semblance of a social life. But at least it kept you and your mind occupied.

When your mother called to announce her visit to Seoul, relief washed over you, and you unconsciously began a countdown to her arrival. Work nearly ruined that today; an unplanned emergency requiring your presence almost got in the way of your time with her. But now, as you approach the restaurant, you feel your body relax for the first time in weeks. 

And that’s how you feel when you spot your mom, jog over to her, and hug her tightly, reverting to that kid who never wanted to let go. You’re laughing in her ear, and she is, too. Almost nothing is more comforting than one of your mom’s hugs.

When you pull back from the embrace just enough to look at her, you giggle, “I am so sorry for being late! It’s been insane, and work called me, so I honestly had no idea how long it would take me, to be honest, and I just couldn’t—” 

“Honey, breathe.” She takes your face in her hands, stopping you in your train of thought. 

“Hi, mom.” 

“Hi…”

She hugs you again, “Oh honey, I know it’s a mom thing to say but you need to eat more, you’ve lost so much weight…and you need sleep…” 

There’s no fighting your mom on that, because she would be right. To say you’ve been slacking on bare minimum self-care is an understatement. It had taken everything within you that morning to put some effort into looking presentable for your mom because you didn’t want to worry her but she noticed. Because she’s your mom. 

“I know. I have…been busy to say the least…” She grabs your hand tightly, tugging you to the restaurant for your reservation.

“Well, this is on me today. Let me treat you.” You smile, allowing yourself to be babied just a little by your mom. As you’re seated across from her, you remove your coat and set it beside you, looking up at her with the brightest smile. 

Getting a visit from your mom is, much like many of your plans, a delicately organized event. You book your time off in advance, usually plan your outfits ahead, and ensure you have as much time as possible with her since it makes for a long day of traveling. You know to make every minute count. 

As you begin to look over the menu, your phone screen lights up with a text from Yoongi, and you smile, quickly glancing at it.

Yoong~ 🍊[11: 39AM]: Is your mom in town? She shot me a text. If she is, can you get her to stop by?

You [11:39AM]: I will tell her but you can also text her, y’know? 😋

Yoong~ 🍊[11:40 AM]: I did already, but you know she’ll forget…

You [11:40 PM]: I’ll tell her, I promise. 

Yoong~ 🍊[11:40 AM]: See you later 👋

His assumption you’d be tagging along makes you smile, placing your phone down to look back to the menu and quickly making a decision.

“Was that Yoongi?”

Glancing to her, you nod and push the menu aside, “Yeah, he’d like to see you. When is your train again?”

“Just after eight…”

“Wanna go there for an early dinner before I drop you off at the train station?”

Your mom smiles, “Of course, I was hoping he could come to lunch but you know, him being a business owner…”

“Ugh, I know. It just keeps getting in the way, no?” You joke, making her laugh. 

The waiter comes over, takes your order and leaves, letting you relax as you look at your mom. Watching the way she’s changed over the years, growing just the same as you have makes you look forward to aging and you can only hope to age as gracefully as your mother. You never realized just how much you’d miss your mom once you moved to Seoul for school. And then staying in the city for work seemed like the right choice and it was. Your life was great. 

But there was no denying how difficult it was not seeing your parents as often as you’d like, making time with them the most precious thing. You missed home and hadn’t returned to your hometown in two years, the last time for your cousin’s wedding. 

“How’s dad? 

“Oh, you know your father…” you snort at her words, “he can’t stop working even if his life depended on it…”

“I wish he’d take it easy every once in a while…”

Your mother smiles, “Not until he gets me a home on Jeju like he said he would when we were kids…” Your heart warms at your father’s promise. “I swear we have a good life but your father hasn’t stopped squirreling away money for it…”

“Hasn’t it been your dream to move to Jeju?”

“I was fifteen when I said that!” You both laugh, sipping your water. “I didn’t think he would actually make it his goal.”

Snorting softly, you hide behind your hand, “Didn’t you two honeymoon there though?”

“Mhm. That and,” she clears her throat, “I used to go there when I was a kid with my family…”

“Dad is never giving up. You know that, right?” You plant your chin in the palm of your hand.

Her knowing smile tells you her answer but she still says, “Yeah, I know that…”

When your meal arrives, it’s easy to forget conversation when all you can focus on is how good the food is. You definitely both limit the amount you eat, knowing you’ll end up at Yoongi’s later for a good meal. 

“Speaking of Jeju,” she sets her utensils down once she finishes her meal, “your dad and I are planning a trip down there for our anniversary…”

“Oh yeah! That’s coming up soon, no?” 

She smiles, the lightest blush colouring her cheeks, “Mhm. And this being our thirtieth anniversary plus we’re both turning fifty…it means a lot.”

“I’m sure dad already has something planned…”

She scoffs playfully, “He wouldn’t be your dad if he didn’t…”

You have always loved hearing about your parent’s love story and how they got together, their marriage being the ideal relationship to emulate. Very rarely did you hear about parents, especially from your parents’ generation, that marry for love and continue being married. Many of your friends in high school had parents who cared for each other but had been set up by their families. Not you. No. It was love. 

“Mom?”

“Mhm.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You nervously chew on the inside of your cheek.

She watches you carefully, able to tell that something is bothering you just by the way she leans forward, “Of course…” 

How do you phrase this now?

Mom, I think I like my best friend. Mom, I want to date Yoongi? Oh, hey mom! Like mother, like daughter, I might end up with my best friend too!

You wince at how awkward this all sounds in your head. This shouldn’t be this hard. But saying it out loud makes it feel so real and you haven’t quite grasped that. It’s been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. 

“Uh…when did you know that dad was more than just your friend?”

She stares at you, the corner of her lips curling up just barely while blinking softly and it is unnerving. Not often does your mom elicit this reaction out of you, where you feel unease. The last time was the one night Yoongi and you had snuck out to attend a local concert. Although upset, then, about your impulsive rebelliousness, this look she’s giving you now is different. It’s knowing. Unsurprised about the question. 

“Well, you know the story.” 

You mouth the air, “N-no, I know that…” your voice shakes, “I know the story. I love it. I remember asking you to tell it to me as a bedtime story…” 

Her smile is warm, remembering that memory fondly, “That was the only story I told for months after I first told you…”

You both laugh with you rubbing your neck, “But how did you go from being friends one day to dating. I mean…you two were fifteen one day, four years later oops I arrived and then a year after that you got married…I mean, how does that happen?”

Watching her carefully, you see the way she plays with her ring as she looks at you, “Well, we grew up together in Daegu. By all intents and purposes we shouldn’t have been friends because of gender, especially back then, but we gravitated to each other. We were eight when my mother and his mother met, and then I was asked to help him with math in our fifth year of middle school. By the time we were eleven I liked him.”

“Really? I don’t think I ever knew that…” 

She shakes her head, “Well, back then, we were told that getting attached to a guy at school was useless because our parents would find someone for us when we got older…so, I figured he’d only ever be my friend…”

“But?”

“Everyone knew but us…and when we were fourteen I knew I had feelings for him. And I told my mom, who spoke to my dad and then they spoke to his parents…but I never heard about that until before we got married…” she takes a sip of water, “his parents didn’t protest it…”

“You say that like they didn’t approve of you…” You frown, wondering if she had drama to deal with. 

“Oh no, nothing like that. But you know most parents? No one is ever good enough for their child even if they get the ideal partner…They warmed up after you were born though.” She chuckles. 

“Because they got a grandchild?” 

She nods, chuckling softly as you roll your eyes, “Typical.” 

“Hey, be nice…That was normal then, and is still normal now, sometimes unfortunately…” You’re both shaking your head. 

“So, grandma and grandpa didn’t protest it so…you told dad how you felt and that was it?” 

“No. You know the story.”

You sigh, “Okay, yeah, I do know that part…but,” you’re sounding desperate now, “was it never weird? That shift from always hanging out as friends and then…always hanging out but as a couple? Were you never afraid of things just being…weird?” 

She shakes her head right away, “No. The moment I found out he liked me and he found out I liked him, we just knew if we never got over the initial awkwardness that we would never make it…so, we sort of treated it like a brand new relationship. We left our friendship at the door when we went on dates…trying to get to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend…”

“Was it easy?” You don’t mean for your voice to sound so small and afraid when you ask her. 

Your mother must hear the emotion in your voice because she grows concerned, “No, of course it wasn’t, but we loved each other enough as friends and as more to know we wanted it to work. Your dad still believes to this day that we were meant to be…” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes, of course. He’s a hopeless romantic that one,” you snort a little, biting the inside of your upper lip, “but honey,” you look at her, “why are you asking me all of that?” 

You sigh loudly, your face contorting in fear before feeling your lower lip trembling. Your mom’s posture changes and she reaches across the table for your hands which you give her so willingly. She looks at you, sighing softly and she squeezes your hands tightly. 

“Mom…”

“Yes, honey…”

“I think I might like Yoongi,” you whimper, “as in, more than a friend…”

And her reaction is not one you expect because she simply starts to smile at you. It is soft and so loving, very much like your mom. It’s comforting. Oh. “You knew…” you whisper. 

She nods, “I mean, I wasn’t certain…but I suspected it would happen someday…” her smile is soft, “I always thought your crush would grow but when you said it went away…that boys were stupid, I started thinking maybe you had let it go.”

You blush as you remember the pouty rant you gave your mom when you were fifteen, insisting to your mother that boys were too stupid to date and that included Yoongi. It had helped with making you forget your crush then.

“Oh…”

“Does it scare you?” 

You nod, “He’s been my closest friend for over twenty years…he’s been the constant in my life I can’t do without and…and,” you pause, “if I love him, I risk losing him…”

“You know that boy, no, that man has always said he’d be there for you no matter what, and I believe him…” you open your mouth to protest but she continues, “and I deeply believe, no matter how many times you’ve told me off about this,” you laugh at that, “that in some way, shape or form he loves you…”

“I know he does…” your eyes grow soft, aware of just how much love you two already hold for each other even just as friends. “But…just not like that…”

“How could you know? Is it never something you’ve talked about?”

You shake your head, “Never. We never ever brought it up…”

“But you like him?”

You groan loudly, “Yeah…It just happened, I started looking at him differently…” she quirks an eyebrow, “I mean, it didn’t just happen. Someone asked us how long we’d been dating and it was the first time that we have ever been asked that. Then I wondered…why haven’t we ever?” 

She chuckles, “He’s a good guy…”

“Yes, I know,” you laugh, feeling your cheeks grow warmer, “and then I just…noticed stuff and then I got butterflies and mom, I am a thirty year old woman and I am freaking out over some butterflies!? Like, what the heck…”

You’re both laughing with you hiding your face behind your hands as you relax, your mom’s presence making everything feel far less scary. 

“Tell me something,” she looks at her, “why does it scare you so much? Let’s just say…he feels the same. Is that so bad?”

“No…” You sigh, pouting. “It would be…weird? We’ve been best friends for so long and yeah, we’re childhood best friends, it would be…weird because…yeah…”

She leans back as she watches you blush and stutter, “Well, let me ask you a question,” she’s smiling too confidently and you know she’s about to blow your mind, “what if, and only what if it wasn’t weird? Couldn’t it be wonderful instead because you are childhood best friends?” 

Poof.

Mind blown.

Stuttering and mouthing the air for a solid twenty seconds, you start laughing and your heart is thundering in your chest as you blink rapidly. Oh, your mom is good. She always knows exactly what to say for it to make sense. And it does, it just makes sense. 

“You really think so?”

“I know that just because it worked for me and your dad doesn’t mean it’ll be the same but,” she smiles sweetly, “I have a good feeling about this…”

You gulp, never having entertained the possibility that Yoongi could or might end up feeling the same about you but your mom’s confidence gives you that reassurance you needed. That no matter what? Yoongi and you are going to be okay. 

“We have always been alright…” you remind yourself mostly. 

“You have. And honestly? The worst that will happen is maybe it’s awkward for a bit, but he, especially, will always make sure you two are okay…”

“I’m a chicken though…I don’t see myself doing anything about it now though…” you admit, embarrassed. Your mother can only laugh as you sigh.

“Well, you can take the time you need with this realization…it’s a lot. Changes a lot for you in how you view Yoongi…” She lets go of you, patting the back of your hand after a moment as you hum. 

“Thank you…” 

She gets up off her chair, coming around to sit next to you and she wraps her arms around you, hugging for a moment just the way you need it. When you pull back she wipes away a tear that’s fallen, smiling as she says, “Let’s go. I wanna do some shopping before going to see Yoongi…”

You laugh, “Good, there’s a new store that has your favourite brand of skin products. I was gonna send you some but I’ll take you and buy it for you.” 

“Deal.” You both laugh, looking at each other.  “What a good daughter you are.” 

When you both waltz into the restaurant with your hands full of bags, Yoongi can't help but smile widely, his lips stretching into a grin that reaches the corners of his eyes as he lets out a soft laugh. He wipes down the counter and tosses the cloth aside before walking around to meet your mom, who spots him within seconds of entering. He bends down to her level and wraps his arms around her just as she goes in for a hug. Yoongi doesn’t hug many, but your mother is among the few he cherishes. 

Looking over her shoulder as he embraces her, he meets your gaze and sees you smiling softly at him, making his heart leap in his chest. He mouths a small 'hi,’ which you return, while Yoongi pats your mother’s back, keeping his eyes locked on you. When he pulls back from your mom, she takes his face in her hands and squeezes his cheeks, eliciting that musical laugh he adores so much from you. 

“You are too thin.” Your mom chastises him. 

“I am a healthy weight. My doctor has said so.” He grins softly. 

She glances at you then back to him, “He needs a new doctor. That doctor is dead wrong.” 

You laugh, “Mom, I’m sure I could tell you the same thing. He’s fine.”

She scoffs, pouting at the both of you, “Sure, team up against me.” 

She turns away from the two of you, walking to a table while he looks at you and mouths, ‘just fine?’ You shake your head, tugging him with you, and he can’t help but playfully resist. It elicits the reaction he desires from you each time: you tugging and begging him to just follow, your fingers wrapped tightly around his hand.

He joins you two for dinner, only leaving you alone for a moment while he cooks your meal, unable to resist smiling broadly at your mother’s excitement. She’s always been like a second mom to Yoongi, and the same goes for his mom with you.

He sits next to you, your mother sitting across from both of you as he reaches to pop open your soda can. He nudges the side dishes you prefer closer and makes the mistake of looking up, meeting your mother’s eyes. Shit.

One quick glance is enough for him to realize she’s noticed. He’s known her long enough to understand what she’s communicating with her eyes. Because he knows all too well, too.

Yoongi doesn’t remember when he fell in love with you. 

He could think about it all day long, but all he knows is that the feeling has existed within him for pretty much as long as you two have known each other, which is pretty much your entire lives. He suspects some people close to both of you have noticed, such as your mother, who is giving him a small knowing smile.

It makes him nervous that people can tell just from looking at him, and the longer he doesn’t tell you, the more people notice. Yoongi has mastered looking indifferent toward you without appearing uncaring either. For years, he’s managed to come across as a big brother figure to you, and people around you have never questioned him. But coming to Seoul and making new friends had put a damper on his plans.

Namjoon was the first to ask Yoongi about a year into their friendship. Yoongi remembers exactly when he was asked about his potential feelings for you. You had just been cheated on by your then-boyfriend and had come knocking at Yoongi’s door one late night when he and Namjoon were just hanging out. He had wiped your tears, given you words of reassurance, made some promises to maim your ex, made you laugh, and tucked you into his bed for the night. When he returned to Namjoon in the living room a little while later, both men sat in silence until one question was asked and one thing was said. 

Have you ever had feelings for her? 

And…

I never wanted to assume or say anything, but you love her and it shows. 

Yoongi has since attempted to refine his whole pretending act. Did it work? No. It only got worse, and the one person who never noticed—thank god—was you. At least, that’s how he felt for years until his last relationship, which just ended. Daehyun brought up many feelings for Yoongi, mostly fears, when the realization hit that he would likely lose his chance to tell you how he feels about you forever.

When you met your now ex-boyfriend, Yoongi remembers how giddy you were after your first date. Within just a few dates, you were in such a daze that you were certain he was the one for you. That scared him so much back then. Maybe not so much now, considering how things have turned out.

Ever since that night he woke up with you in his arms, a debate has been raging in his mind. How much longer could he continue to hide his feelings for you? Not much longer. He had rationalized that it was worse if you knew, but these last few weeks? He had made his decision. 

He was going to tell you tonight. 

The mere thought of doing so made him sick but Yoongi realized there was never a good time, especially if he sat around waiting for one. He’d wait forever. 

“Please tell your mom I am feeding myself just fine.” He speaks up, serving her some meat.

You nudge him, “She knows. But mom likes to worry about people. You’re included.” 

He snorts, shaking his head as he looks to her, “I am fine.”

“If you say so…” she playfully rolls her eyes at him, which earns her a chuckle out of him. 

He’s always amused by your mom’s playfulness, which you’ve obviously inherited from her and he can’t help but look at you as you chuckle. 

“You two need to come home soon enough. Not only does your dad miss you,” she looks at you, “but your parents are really hoping you come down for the holidays…” She says this final part while looking at Yoongi. 

“I was planning to…”

You snap your head to him, “You were?”

Yoongi looks at you, “Yeah, you said you wanted to spend the holidays back home so…I finagled some things to get ten days away from the business…”

Yoongi isn’t prepared for the softness in your features at his words, forcing himself to look away when it becomes too difficult to stare at you. His heart is thundering in his chest while grabbing his water, gulping it down.

“That’s really sweet, but still weeks away…” you breathe out softly.

He shrugs, “I knew if I didn’t plan now? I’d never get the time…”

You’re pouting at him, mouthing the air and he pushes you with his hand, clearing his throat and looking away in the hopes to hide his blush. 

“Well, that’s gonna make a lot of people happy…” Your mother comments. “We’re all planning a Christmas at yours, Yoongi…”

He nods, “Sounds like something my mom would do…” 

Yoongi stiffens when he feels your hand grabbing his under the table, chancing the quickest glance down to see your much smaller hand around his. The moment ends just as quick as it happens, you squeezing his hand and letting your fingers linger on the back of it before letting your hand fall in your lap. 

Yeah, he has to tell you tonight. 

Yoongi doesn't know how much more of this he can take. 

Tonight will have to make or break it. 

Yoongi got your text a few hours ago when you dropped your mother off at the train station, that feeling of dread growing in his stomach like a snowball rolling down a snowy hill for the rest of the evening. He instantly wanted to call it quits and avoid his plan. He no longer wanted to confess, but his smile whenever he got a text from you and how soft it made him feel was the reminder that he needed to just commit. 

He's closing up the restaurant, putting away his cleaning supplies as he wipes his hands off on his apron. Grabbing his phone he sends you a quick text. 

Yoongi [11:03 PM]: You awake?

Right away he sees you responding, making him chuckle. 

Doc 🩺 [11:03 PM]: Yes. Sadly. Just finished work?

Yoongi [11:04 PM]: Yeah. I got some leftover chicken and tteokbokki…late night snack and a movie?

Doc 🩺 [11:05 PM]: …

Doc 🩺 [11:05 PM]: Are you asking me to Netflix and chill WITH snacks? 😏

Yoongi chokes on his own saliva or breath, whatever it was he needs to catch his breath for a moment. Damn you. You would be the death of him. 

Yoongi [11:07 PM]: 🙄 Do you want to watch a movie with food, yes or no?

Doc 🩺 [11:07 PM]: Yes, pretty please 🙏 

Yoongi [11:08 PM]: I’ll be right over. 

Yoongi knew better than to invite you. It makes rejection easier if he is the one leaving you rather than asking you to leave his place.  

Tonight, your friendship as you know it will change forever, all because Yoongi is about to alter your dynamic. Forever. A part of him absolutely fears this could ruin your relationship beyond repair. After all, it is always easier to claim that things will be okay without actually knowing they will be.  

When he has packed the food and locked up, the drive to your place suddenly feels too short. So much so that Yoongi takes a detour, giving himself a little extra time and courage before facing you. It becomes harder to see the hope and love shining in your eyes as you look up at him. He knows you love him; there is no doubt about that. However, the only doubt that creeps into his mind is whether you could love him the same way he loves you.  

The universe seems to want him to just be upfront since he finds parking conveniently right in front of your building—a first in all the years he has been coming over. No traffic, easy parking… could this be a sign that his confession would be well received?  

It's obvious he is trying to reassure himself, as Yoongi is about to either improve, remain the same, or worsen the very fabric that holds your friendship together.  

Why did he have to fall in love with you…

He doesn't know that answer exactly. All he knew is that it came easy to him, like breathing. 

Yoongi codes into your building and goes up to your apartment. He feels just how sweaty his hands are as he holds the bag, switching it from hand to hand while hyping himself up. Your entire friendship has felt natural, and never once has he felt this nervous to be around you in any way, shape, or form. 

But when he opens the door and waltzes in like he always does, he suddenly feels fear. His mouth goes desert dry, and he feels somewhat dizzy, like he might be sick. After removing his shoes, he turns the corner to find you sitting on your couch, all cozy in your sweatpants and hoodie. His hoodie. Fuck. 

You look up, and the moment you make eye contact, you start to smile so brightly as you launch – yes, you quite literally launch – off the couch and slide towards him. The nerves he feels dissipate ever so slightly as he watches you.

“Easy there…” he’s chuckling as he holds out his arms to make sure you don’t trip and fall.

“I have been so excited for food. And you. Obviously, but I feel like that’s a given already…” You giggle, snatching the bag out of his hands.

He hums, following you and helping you plate the food, “How was dropping your mom off?”

You sigh, “You know, the usual. It was fine because I’m a big girl, but then it gets so serious and I start missing her before she’s even gone…the moment she was out of sight though? Tears. Not full on sobbing but y’know…” 

He chuckles, “You always try to be strong for her so she doesn’t worry but you know she knows right?”

“Knows what?”

“That you cry every time she leaves…” 

“How?”

Yoongi shrugs, “Oh, I don’t know how…maybe because you have a friend–ouch! Don’t smack me!”

“So it is you! I always wondered how she just knew…” You are playfully glaring at him with a shake of your head. “Why does she text you?”

“Because she knows you’ll try to be the strong girl. I mean, you are strong, but with your mom you try harder because you don’t want her to worry…” He sucks on his finger when it accidentally dips into the tteokbokki sauce. 

“Well, I guess…keep going.”

“Really?”

“Are you actually going to stop if I ask you?”

He opens his mouth to speak but stops for a moment. He wants to carefully tread the waters before answering that question but he finds nothing better to tell you other than the truth.

“You know you could ask me anything and I’d do it…” 

The air changes there just for a moment and then the moment is over just as quick as it happened. You’re looking up at him with wide eyes and biting your lower lip, resisting a smile.

“I know.” 

Yoongi hands you chopsticks and the plate containing the chicken, making you chuckle as you walk to the living room where you’ve set up a show to watch. A comfortable kind of quiet falls on the apartment with the sounds of chewing and reality TV playing in the background. He appreciates this distraction before he makes that move, the one he’s been thinking about all evening. 

And it isn’t long before plates are empty, scattered messily on your small coffee table with cans of beer and soda spread over it. He checks you’re not too tipsy to be able to handle the conversation you two are about to have and somewhat wishes you were drunk because it would mean he could have this talk with you at some other time. But nope, you are quite aware and just buzzed maybe. 

Yoongi opens his mouth to speak when you suddenly stand up from the couch, gathering the empty containers and plates.

“I’ll clean these up really quick then we can continue watching…”

He grabs your hand but you pull it out of his grip, “Let me help…”

“You stay right there…” you playfully giggle as you step away from him. He sighs, prompting you to glance over your shoulder, “Stop pretending like you hate it. And let me take care of you…”

He clears his throat, leaning back on the couch and instead of watching the TV screen he settles on watching you move around your kitchen. The lazy bun on your head is coming undone, strands falling and framing your face as you look over to him quickly with a smile. He loves when you look like this. Looking happy and cozy makes him want to hold you again, never having let go of that memory. 

Yoongi turns his head to look at the TV and he thinks of what he’s going to say next. And how he’s going to say it. He is terrified of messing up and saying the wrong thing, fearing he might hurt your feelings inadvertently. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks his messages, nothing of note jumping up at him. As his eyes gaze over the names on the list he clicks on Namjoon’s name, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he types out a quick text and sends it. 

Yoongi [12:53 AM]: I’m telling her tonight. 

And once it’s sent and read, relief suddenly washes over him and he feels okay. This has been coming for a long time and there is no time like the present. This sudden burst of confidence is only amplified when he gets a response. 

Namjoon [12:54 AM]: You got this! 👏

While Namjoon and he had never openly discussed their feelings, Yoongi had acknowledged his emotions for you once or twice and spent the following years sharing meaningful looks with his friend whenever they were in a group. Namjoon had always been a quiet supporter for a reserved man like Yoongi, someone who rarely allowed significant possibilities beyond professional ones. Truly, Yoongi did not feel worthy of the kind of love you could offer him if given the chance.

He always thought you were too good for any of the men you’d dated before, consistently reminding you when you got your heart broken, were cheated on, or simply ended a relationship. He wasn’t so blindly in love with you that he ignored your insecurities. No, you were incredibly self-aware, and you also knew Yoongi would tell you honestly when you were in the wrong. It was another reason he loved you; you trusted him implicitly.

He glances at you one more time, your back to him as you focus intently on your phone, and that image of you standing in his hoodie, looking domestic and just existing, gives him hope for what life could be if you felt the same way about him. 

“OH MY GOD!”

Yoongi rises to his feet so fast, eyes glued to you as you bend to grab your phone. Yoongi hears his phone buzzing on the couch where he left it as he slowly walks over to you. He’s about five feet away when you turn around and he’s relieved to see the smile on your face, but wondering what caused this sudden burst of happiness.

“What’s going on?”

He walks to stand behind you as you giggle, jumping up and down. As he’s reading over your shoulder, he feels a weird mixture of feelings brewing deep in his belly. Your excitement at the news is palpable and he feels it too, because it is good news. 

“Seokjin proposed! Oh my god, did you know he would? Has he ever mentioned anything?!” You are so delighted for your friends he can’t help but smile. 

“I…I uh, I had no idea…actually…” he gulps, looking down at the gorgeous photo your friends have sent the entire group chat. It’s the two of them with Seokjin tenderly holding his brand new fiancée in his arms with the ring being the star of the photo. 

“Oh, that is so fucking sweet. God, I could cry I’m so happy for them…” you sniffle with a small laugh, rubbing your eyes already.

Yoongi puts his hand on your back, rubbing gently up and down the length of it, “It’s really great news…” 

You look up at him from over your shoulder and fuck, you’re so close. He could just do it right now, exploit the happy moment in the hopes for a happier one too, but this isn’t right. It would feel too wrong to exploit your friends’ happy moment for his own. 

Yoongi has to admit slight defeat, his confidence plummeting and instead focusing on the happy news in the hopes that he can avoid focusing on his disappointment. You’re still looking at him as he unexpectedly wraps his arm around you to pull you into a one armed hug. If Yoongi can’t tell you how he feels right now, he will at least give you something he doesn’t always do, which is a hug. You stiffen only for a moment before he feels both of your arms tightly wrap around him, your face buried in his chest. 

He feels his heart soaring at that. You feel so safe with him and he knows it, because you show it when you're vulnerable with him in moments like this. His chin is resting on the top of your head as he smiles softly, rubbing your back still as he kisses the crown of your head. 

He's immediately gone still when he realizes what he's just done. Shit. What has he done? He wonders if you've noticed because you also aren't moving. 

“We’re at that age now…” you mumble.

“Mhm?”

“The age where our friends are now getting engaged and married…” Yoongi thinks about your words, the hand still at your back gently moving up and down, “soon,” he pulls back and looks down at you, meeting your eyes, “that’ll be us…”

Oh, Yoongi knows his reaction isn’t subtle at all in that moment, but your wording sends him spiraling downwards in seconds. He quickly reminds himself that your words have nothing to do with the two of you but are more about the reality that someday he’ll be engaged, and so will you, most likely to other people.

You’re looking at him so softly, your eyebrows raised as you take him in, and Yoongi’s lips are pursed gently as he looks down at you. The grip you have around him loosens, his hand pulling you just a bit closer in hope that you won’t let go. He’s proven right as you stay close, and he looks down between you two.

“Show me that photo again?” 

You lift your phone and show him the gorgeous engagement photo again, Yoongi grabbing your phone to take a closer look as you both finally step away from each other but just barely. 

“He’s gonna ask me to cater, I can already tell.” He jokes, earning himself a slap on the arm.

“Don’t say that…if he does ask it’s because he knows you’ll do the wedding justice. Oh my god, the wedding! There’s gonna be a wedding. Yoongi! Seokjin is getting married.” You’re giggling in disbelief at the news and he hasn’t seen you this giddy in a long time. 

“Like you said, some day that’ll be us…”

You bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning, “Stop it, that idea still feels…I don’t know, weird…?”

“You don’t see yourself being married?”

“I do, but actually putting legit thought into it? With life the way it is…it doesn’t feel like a possibility because of my luck really…” you take your phone he hands back to you. 

“You know that means nothing…” he sighs, “you’ll…you’ll find your penguin…”

You frown, “Did you just quote me to me?” 

He winces, slightly pained at having been caught, “Yes, yes I did. You said that once and it…it just stuck with me…” 

You look down to the engagement photo, gesturing to it, “He found his. Lucky guy.”

“He deserves it. We all know he’ll deny it but he’s liked her since the beginning, he was just frustrated that he did and didn’t know what to do with his feelings…” His observation makes you laugh. 

“He’s been hopelessly in love with her since the beginning…” You say, playfully rolling your eyes. 

Yoongi sighs because he, too, would know something about that. He looks up to you when you nudge him, “What?”

“Stay over. We can have breakfast and go for a walk before you have to go to work…” you exhale nervously, “please.” 

This is new for the two of you: being nervous. Suddenly he’s scared you’ve figured out he has feelings for you, that his actions have given it away and that it’s finally sinking in. But if that were the case, why would you want him to stay?

Stop thinking that hard. He can’t help but think that maybe you could want him the same way.

He finally meets your eyes and he admires how they shine brightly, so hopeful that he will agree to it, which of course he will. 

“I’ll stay…”

You turn to finish cleaning up as Yoongi does the same and cleans up the living room. You’re both quiet as you move about the main area of your apartment, sometimes glancing at each other. When he’s done turning the same cushion over and over he finally looks back at where you are in the kitchen. You’ve just finished cleaning up the sink and you dry your hands, doing a quick inspection of your hard work before looking over at him.

“You gonna be okay sleeping in that?” 

He glances down to his outfit then back at you, “Yeah, I’ll be okay…”

“I’m gonna get ready for bed…” you’re shifting on your feet left to right when you say that, biting your lower lip. Yoongi waves you off with a small smile, watching you disappear as he goes to the closet where your extra blankets are. He grabs that and a pillow, setting his bed up for the night on your couch. 

He hears your bedroom door open again, glancing up just as he’s about to lie down until he sees your head peeking around the corner. He stands to his full height, hands shoved in his pockets as he looks at you. It’s dim in the living room, with Yoongi having shut all the lights except for a few. He watches as you come into full view, standing there in a t-shirt and sweatpants, your hair cascading freely over your shoulders. 

You exchange no words as you extend your hand to him, chewing the inside of your cheek nervously while waiting for his answer to your silent but very clear question. 

He stands there, visibly shocked, when it dawns on him rapidly, like a freight train. He continues watching you; your eyes engage in a silent conversation as you wait for him to make a decision. You knew. That night you spent in his arms, you must have realized something or woken up in the middle of the night because you wouldn’t be inviting him like this. Or maybe Yoongi is going mental, thinking that’s what’s happening right now. 

He takes a quick glance at his makeshift bed and then back at you before walking over. You release a shaky breath in surprise as he moves, grabbing your hand, and you look up at him, eyes wide and mouth barely open. 

God, he could kiss you right now. 

But he won’t. And he doesn’t. Instead, he lets you tug him down the hall as you open the door, glancing back at him over your shoulder, meeting his gaze as he follows you in. He shuts the door behind him as you let go of his hand and look at him. You walk directly to your side of the bed and look over at him as he slowly steps to the other side. It is dead silent between you two as the sheets rustle and the bed creaks under the weight of his body getting into bed first.

His back settles on the soft mattress, covering his body with the duvet as he glances at you sitting there with your back to him. You’re plugging in your phone, scooching down to lie in bed as you settle just like he did. You both lie on your backs, staring at the ceiling and breathing softly. You’re the first to glance over at him, Yoongi able to see you from the corner of his eye before he clears his throat. But instead of ignoring it, he looks over at you, and in a moment of your two locking eyes, you drag yourself over to him as he opens his arm to let you snuggle up. He holds his breath when your arm snakes around his middle and he wraps his around your shoulders, pulling you in closer as you rest your head against his chest.

You don’t speak; your actions and rapid heartbeats speak enough for the both of you as you lie together. You push your cheek firmly against his chest, shutting your eyes and moving your hand to rest there, mindlessly tracing patterns with your fingers.

Neither of you falls asleep, Yoongi focusing on everything about you: your breathing, your body, your hands, your heartbeat—everything. It feels good to have you in his arms like this again.

He feels you move as he stills, waiting for what comes next but nothing does. 

So, Yoongi glances down and whispers softly in the darkness, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

He squeezes you tighter, resting his cheek on your head as he shuts his eyes and releases a long held breath, “Are we okay?”

This question makes you look up as he looks down, “Of course. Always.”

He smiles in relief, licking his lips as he shuts his eyes and lets his body relax, your body also doing much of the same as he squeezes you tighter to him, effectively snuggling as close as possible to you.

“Goodnight, doll…”

author’s note »» Thank you for reading! Yoongi and Reader are finally just letting go a little bit more but they're not speaking about it. I have more excitement coming in the next few chapters for Yoongi and Reader. I will definitely be putting them through the ringer a bit. Until next time!

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[gunwoo-bh]

countdown to yoongi’s return

d-7 ♡ run bts! ep.114

[gunwoo-bh]

family 💜

[gunwoo-bh]

you like because, you love despite part three [and just like that] - myg

and just like that

chef!yoongi x korean!f!doctor!reader | mdni 18+

summary »» Your friendship always made sense to you and those around you. It wasn’t difficult when both your parents grew up together as best friends too. Your moms always used to refer to your friendship as being written in the stars, whereas your dads believed it impossible for you two, being girl and boy, to be best friends. Your mothers constantly remind them how wrong they’ve been to believe that. Or were they?

cw »» fluff, some light physical affection, some angst, ex-boyfriend angst, overthinking queen is at it again, swearing, gaslighting (?) in the form of an ex, angry and protective yoongi, revelations, dual pov

wc »» 5k

author’s note »» Well, well, well. We're already at part three and things are moving along pretty well! Thank you to everyone giving this story some love, I am SO grateful to every comment, like and reblog! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The light shines softly through the cracks in the curtains, casting a gentle glow directly on Yoongi’s face, rousing him from his sleep. He blinks away drowsiness as he tries to stretch his body, slowly becoming aware of the heaviness and warmth residing on his right side. His heart pounds in his chest as he stares at the ceiling, willing himself not to freak out internally. Finally, he looks down to see the top of your head resting against his chest, your body snuggled tightly into his side, with your arm wrapped securely around his middle. 

He can’t remember the last time you two shared a bed, but he knew you had been young enough that no one would have batted an eye at it then. This is entirely different, though. Anyone who walked in would definitely make assumptions, and that even includes you, as fear slowly creeps up his body while he takes one more look at you. 

Pushing himself sideways out of bed, he hopes the grip you have on him isn’t too strong so that he might have to wake you. Luckily, your body remains limp as he slips out, gently holding the back of your head as he places you on the pillow. Yoongi rubs his chest, hoping to remove the nerves that have crept up as he looks down at you. He tugs the duvet up your body as he steps back lightly, grabs his phone, and leaves the bedroom. 

He shuts the door behind him, careful not to make too much noise before walking to the kitchen as he roots around for some ingredients to make breakfast. Midway through chopping his ingredients he gets a text, recognizing the ringtone as being yours as he looks down the hall in confusion. 

Doc 🩺[9:40 AM]: Here is your scheduled reminder to wake up otherwise your customers won’t be able to get food.

Doc 🩺[9:40 AM]: I am part of said customer population 😅

Yoongi snorts as he looks down the hall where you’re most likely still sleeping. When you had time to plan this text baffles him because he’s pretty sure you collapsed in bed right away. He licks his lips, losing his focus as he continues prepping breakfast.

He’s just turning the stove off when he hears you come out of his bedroom, dragging your feet all the way as you enter the kitchen. You look adorable rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes, hiding a yawn behind your arms as if bracing for impact. He stands there for a moment, watching you naturally make your way to the stool across from him at the kitchen island as you sit there. 

“Morning…”

“Morning.” He watches you grumble. “Not enough sleep?”

“There can never be enough sleep…”

“Why didn’t you sleep in then?”

You finally look at him, “I could smell food…I got hungry…”

Yoongi can’t resist your pouting, “Well, I got some steamed eggs and kimchi fried rice…”

“Fuck, I don’t know what I did in another life to deserve you as a friend but thank god…” you grab your utensils as you cutely wiggle in your chair, waiting for him to hand over a plate as you bite your lip. 

Yoongi lets himself be distracted by that action, his heart feeling mighty loud in his chest right now as he chastises his shaking hand when he hands you the plate. He’s only grateful since you don’t seem to notice, your attention entirely on the food. He wipes his hands as he glances at the clock, sighing.

“What?” You ask, mouth full.

“I have to go downstairs, I’m trying a new special and I did not prep for it last night so…” he takes his apron, looking at your suddenly sullen expression. “Don’t mind the mess, okay? Stay as long as you want. I’ll be downstairs…prepping…”

Yoongi quickly wanders around, rushing to his bedroom to get changed as he stares at the crumpled sheets of his bed. The imagery tugs at his heart strings as he sighs, staring for far too long before slipping his shirt off for his work one. He’s quick to grab his wallet, keys and phone before heading out, passing by you as you wish him a good day but not before Yoongi gently grabs the back of your neck to make you look at him. 

You both still in the moment, Yoongi losing all confidence he had just a second ago before giving you a gentle squeeze, “Try to get more sleep…”

Your lips are beautifully parted, the lightest and shakiest of breath leaving them as you nod, “Okay, I will…” 

He lets his hand drag down your back, feeling you shiver as he heads out and he locks the door behind him. He releases the breath he’s been holding as he leans against it, cussing himself for doing that. It becomes harder and harder to spend time with you without letting his feelings bubble up to the surface, especially now that you’re single. He hates himself for thinking it’s easier when you’re in a relationship because he does see you less, it hurts less. 

He pushes himself off the door and heads down the stairs, choosing work as a distraction from his overwhelming feelings for you. 

Talk about being fucked. 

Anything else that may have invaded your thoughts that morning went away with the heavy weight of his hand against the back of your neck, his fingers having wrapped firmly around it and brought your attention to him in a way that had made more than just your heart flutter. You now felt warm all over, panting softly sitting at his kitchen island. You don’t know how long you spend staring at your food but when you finally look up he’s been gone for a solid twenty minutes, your food having gone cold as you sigh. 

“Shit…”

Putting away the food and setting aside what you’ve barely touched, you decide to clean the kitchen. Rolling up the sleeves of your hoodie, you get to work and manage to get the kitchen under control in under thirty minutes. You slip off the hoodie, tossing it on the stool as you look around the living room. It isn’t long before you’ve vacuumed and mopped the floors, dusted every surface, and cleaned every room in his apartment.

Entering his bedroom to continue your cleaning spree, you glance at the still messy bed and gulp. You make the bed, tidying up the clutter on each of the bedside tables. As you do this, you realize just how many of your things are here in his room, wincing as you gather your hand lotion, charger, and other beauty products to bring them to the guest room. Each time you find a piece of clothing or an earring you’ve left behind, you sigh louder than before and shuffle to the guest room to deposit them there. 

“I need to…bring this shit back, Jesus…” You rub the back of your neck, standing there awkwardly as you put away your items for now. “Next time. Next time for sure.” 

You let your mind wander, thinking of how he explained your things away whenever he brought a girl home. You knew he was popular with the ladies, catching their attention any time you were out with him and your friends. He was never crude about it, though. He never let it slip whether or not he met up with a girl who had given him his number. The only reason you knew? Was the box of condom you had accidentally found while looking for ointment, the box falling and revealing a low amount which obviously meant he put them to use. 

That was always the one subject you both agreed to never speak about together: your sex lives. Always off limits. 

By the time it’s 1 p.m. you are back in your original spot, at the kitchen island eating what you had forgotten to that morning. All this cleaning had tired you out, now realizing you should have listened to Yoongi when he had told you to get more sleep. Glancing over your shoulder at the couch, you clean your mess up and grab a blanket, settling on the couch for a nap. 

You wake up quite some time later in the afternoon, your eyes adjusting slowly to the darkness of the apartment. Groggily, you sit up with a yawn and a shake of your head. You pat yourself, brows furrowed, and look for your phone, finding it when you swing your legs over the edge, your foot touching the fallen device as you reach down to grab it. 

Right away you see a text from your mom, Harin and Yoongi – the usual culprits. But the last text notification catches your attention, making your stomach churn. Daehyun. Opening the text, you read it over once and then twice. 

Daehyun ❌[3:29 PM]: Hey. It’s been a while but I’d really like to pick my stuff up tonight. I’m going away for a few days and I’d rather not delay it any longer since it seems you haven’t changed your mind. 

Shit. It’s already been almost two hours since he sent the message, forcing you to stand up and rushing to the bedroom where you find your clothes. You get changed so far, tossing your sleepwear on the bed of the guest room. You shoot Yoongi a quick text as you lock up behind you.

You [5:18 PM]: I had to leave really quickly, I left a tiny mess in the guest room. All is good, I just napped way too long 😅I swear I’ll come pick my stuff up next time. Hope work is going well! ☺️

And to your ex, you send a quick text.

You [5:20 PM]: Meet me outside my place at 6.

And before being able to slip the phone in your pocket, you receive a message back from Yoongi.

Yoong ~ 🍊 [5:21 PM]: Grab the car keys. Don’t pay for a cab. 

Yoong ~ 🍊 [5:21 PM]: Please?

You snort loudly, heading back in quickly to look for the car keys and lock up once again. When you’re sitting in his car, it takes a moment for you to remember you were the last one to sit in this car. Driving back home, you can only think of what you’re going to say to Daehyun when you give him his things back. Your last phone call sometimes replays in your mind, immediately making you nervous about what may come.

Pulling up to your place, you know he’s about to arrive soon enough, and knowing him, he’ll be here earlier than your agreed time. Rushing upstairs, you make a beeline to your room, grab the box of his things, and give it one final look. Every single item of his is in there and accounted for, your eyes scanning the items he had left at yours. Two of his hoodies, a few of his books, some plushies, and bracelets he had gotten for you—those were good memories you two once had. But in hindsight, there wasn’t much either. 

When you walk down to sit on the stairs to wait for him, you shift nervously as you glance down your street. Yoongi’s car is parked in front of your building, the box sitting on top of the trunk as you wring your hands. God, you just want this over with.

And your wish is granted when you see Daehyun walking up your street as you shoot up, arms crossed over your chest as you shift awkwardly from one foot to the other. Daehyun’s hands are in his pockets as he walks up, glancing over your shoulder and shaking his head. 

“Hey…”

“You did that quick…” He notes.

“What?”

“Packed my shit.” He chides, the tone not escaping you. 

“Well, I did have the time.”

Daehyun smacks his lips, “We just broke up.” 

You frown, “Almost a month ago now, though…”

He sighs loudly, your words obviously irritating him, “God, you’re so detached…and cold…”

You wince, the words stinging, “I’m not.”

He scoffs, “You can be.”

You stay quiet, the impact of his words still washing over you as you sniffle. Don’t let him make you cry. Clearing your throat you point to the box, “Well, you can take it. Make sure I didn’t forget a thing…”

You feel his eyes on you as you stare at the ground, Daehyun moving to walk past you but he stops next to you instead. As you look at him you see him staring at your building, biting his lower lip harshly. 

And so, you ask, “What?”

“Is this why you met me out here?” When you look even more confused he points to the car. “Is he upstairs? Keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re okay?” 

When you realize what, or who, he’s referring to, you roll your eyes, “Oh my god! This again?”

“What do you mean ‘this again’?! Yeah! Of course!!” He yells, this being the first time he’s ever done this, making you jump. “I asked you for one thing!”

“Asked?” You square up to him. “You didn’t ask! You told me that’s what I’d be doing to stay with you instead of dealing with your feelings about it or talking to me about it! And I’m not some dog, Daehyun! I was your girlfriend!”

He sighs loudly, his face red in anger, “Fuck, seriously? You never were. I had to fight for your attention. I had to fight him for it and that wasn’t fair…”

Mouthing the air, guilt creeps up in your chest, “A-and that’s probably my fault because we are attached at the hip pretty much, but I swear to you we’ve only been friends…” 

Why does this feel like a lie now?

“Bullshit…” he spats, sounding the most angry you’ve ever heard him. “The guy’s been in love with you for as long as I’ve known you, maybe even longer…”

You look down at your feet, “Stop. He’s not.” 

“Uh, yeah, he absolutely fucking is!” He bickers. “There wasn’t a moment where I didn’t feel his presence while we dated but fuck, I liked you enough to think that maybe I was paranoid. That maybe…maybe I was just seeing things.” 

“I don’t wanna tell you that you weren’t…because obviously my friendship with him bothered you.” You rub the back of your neck. 

“You being friends with a guy never bothered me. You have guy friends all around, but him? It’s him. He never saw you as a friend and you’re too fucking blind to see it, and to make it worse? Everyone kept telling me to watch out.”

“You accused me of cheating and I never did.” Why are you defending yourself? “I wanted to be a good girlfriend and for a while I thought I was…but I realize that maybe I didn’t set boundaries between my friendship and relationship…but I also won’t be ordered around by anyone. Much less you.” 

He snarls, shaking his head in disbelief, “Continue being in denial. Continue having this issue over and over. Continue being alone.” He stomps over to the box, grabs it roughly and walks past you, leaving you standing there. 

His words hurt as you watch his retreating form, biting on your lower lip hard enough you start tasting metal and you hiss, using the back of your hand to dab your lip and you see blood on the back of it. You tuck your lower lip in your mouth, sucking on the blood as you shake your head. 

Your relationship with Daehyun was always good, you think. Until a few weeks ago, he had been a good boyfriend, but you had noticed your lack of interest in anything further. That, you knew, was your fault. You should have ended it the moment you realized you never saw a future with him. Your naive hope that your feelings would suddenly develop for him later was futile. It ended up causing more hurt. And anger.

You had never wanted to hurt him, and it was never your intention, but you hadn’t expected such anger and cruelty in his words. It stung you in a way you didn’t think you could ever forget.

Instead of going back home and apologizing to Yoongi for making him come get his car, you get in the vehicle and drive back to his home instead. You dread the thought of being alone, and you know the longer you try to avoid him, the more likely he is to worry and check in on you. You park his car in its spot, shut it off, and sit in silence for a moment. Your lower lip begins to tremble, tears welling and threatening to fall as you bury your face in your hands and sob. The delayed reaction catches you off guard, taking your breath in the middle of what feels like a panic attack. Rubbing your chest, you shut your eyes and attempt to breathe calmly in the hopes of alleviating the sobbing. 

Sniffling and wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand, you grab your things and finally head upstairs to Yoongi’s. It isn’t very long before you get changed back into your clothes from the night before, still sniffling as you walk around his apartment and wandering over to the fridge. You’ve never felt the need to ask him for permission, but with your insecurities at an all time high, you do anyway. 

You [7:03 PM]: Can I steal your food?

You stand there, knowing he will respond at any moment and right as it crosses your mind, the texting bubbles appear.

Yoong ~ 🍊[7:05 PM]: When have you ever needed to ask?

Yoong ~ 🍊[7:06 PM]: Please, steal. 

His response provides relief, grabbing a bowl of stew and reheating that, settling on his couch as you watch reruns of some variety show to keep your eyes, and mind, busy. Aside from that last text, you don’t look at your phone as you mindlessly stare at the screen. You do make some time to clean up after yourself but you fall asleep on the couch, the TV still running in the background. 

You startle awake, confused when you wake up in a bedroom, his bedroom, and not on the couch. Your eyes adjust to the darker setting, only the bedside table light turned on when Yoongi exits his bedroom ensuite and makes eye contact with you, looking caught. 

“Shit, hi. Did I wake you?”

“What time is it?” Gently sitting up, you watch how he awkwardly stands there. 

“Uh, just past eleven…” 

“Oh…I slept for that long?”

Yoongi licks his lips, eyes finally taking in your awakened form as he approaches the bed. He sits at the end, his change of clothes in lap as he stares at you. 

“Yeah, you did. You must have been tired.” Yoongi chews his lower lip. “How was your day?” 

“It was slow…” you blink away the tears already threatening to fall, rubbing them away under the guise of tiredness. “How was work?”

“Busy. Really busy…” he shifts, turning to face you, “what’s up?” 

Screw you, Yoongi. For knowing right away. The sigh that leaves you is all he needs to know he hit it right on the nose. But all you can do is stare at your lap, sniffling softly and he shifts closer as he clears his throat. When you stare up at him, you see the shift in his posture and his face. He looks absolutely peeved without having even heard the story.

“I went to give Daehyun his things back…” you wipe your eyes and you feel him tense up even when he's that far away from you. 

“What did he do?” He licks his lips but his jaw clenches. 

You shake your head, “He vented his frustrations and–and I mean, he's not wrong but he was hurtful. It just sucked, y'know? I know I would never be the perfect girlfriend. I'm fucking human, yeah? But I didn't realize I had been that bad, I guess…”

Yoongi shakes his head, scooting closer and touching your knee, “What did he say?”

His tone is controlled, slow and steady, which are the very indicators that he is keeping his cool but he is furious, “Well,” you start, “he said I was cold and detached,” you see his nostrils flaring, “and then went in on the fact that he thought you were upstairs and that's why I met him outside. He saw your car and just started telling me that you were the issue. That you always being there was the issue…”

You look up to watch him and you rub the back of your neck when you see how upset he is, “And he kept going with how people around him had warned him about you and then for good measure he accused you of being in love with me and how fucking obvious it was…”

“He didn't like fighting for my attention with you because he knew you'd always win,” one tear slips and you know more are coming, “and I told him I was sorry, but there's never been anything between you and I, and that maybe it was odd for people because we are attached at the hip basically…and I never meant to make him feel that way…”

You pause, quickly glancing at him then back at your lap, “So, that was it. Told me to continue being in denial and to continue being alone…”

You wipe away tears again, frustrated that he's getting tears out of you again as you huff a sad laugh. You avoid looking at Yoongi, afraid of what you’ll see and you also know exactly what he’ll say because he has always been right but you still chance a glance at him. He inhales deeply and finally meets your eyes. 

His hand on your knee moves and he takes your hand in his, squeezing it gently, “Are you okay?” 

Startled by the question, you mouth the air and you start crying, wiping at your face as you shake your head, “I am physically fine. I’m hurt. That hurt. We’ve both had this issue pop up with people we’ve dated before so, maybe we don’t have boundaries?” 

He shakes his head, “I don’t think that’s what that is.”

“Remember Minji? Didn’t you two fight because she didn’t like that your best friend was a girl?”

“Yes, she tried to make me choose her over you. To pick her, someone I’d known for six months and dated for four, over my best friend of over twenty years. That’s insanity…” He’s breathing heavily, looking at you. “We have never crossed boundaries when we’ve had partners…”

“But I must have done–”

“Hey!” You startle when he grabs your shoulders. “We always prioritize getting to know the people we’ve dated. We pull away a little because we are dating people but it always goes to shit when we’ve met each other’s partners. Why? Because they find out the best friend is a person of the opposite sex. They can’t ever get over that. No matter what we do…”

He isn’t wrong about that one. It’s the same cycle that repeats itself over and over, always ending up with a break up. Yoongi’s last relationship was over two years ago, late night company aside, and he hadn’t revisited the dating world since then. 

“No amount of doing things the right way ever made Daehyun, Minji, Jongwoo, Ara or any exes we’ve ever had, comfortable…” He sighs. “I tried. You tried. We made some mistakes along the way and they can be mad. They’re allowed to be. But being cruel? Fuck that. I know it would have made it worse…but I wish I had been there.”

“You would have ripped him a new one…” 

He grabs your face, catching you off guard as he stares at you, “I would have done so much worse,” he gulps, “just for making you cry…”

He suddenly lets go of you, hands grabbing yours as you stare at him still but he’s looking away. He’s entirely too focused on everything but your face. You sniffle, squeezing his hand as you nod, “I know…”

Yoongi clears his throat, standing up as he rubs the back of his neck, “I need sleep and you must need it too…I’m gonna go get changed and go to bed. What time do you work tomorrow?”

“Uh,” you check your schedule on your phone, “at eight.”

“I’ll drive you…” he smiles and nods, “goodnight and don’t worry about it, okay?”

Right as he’s about to close the door you call for him, his head poking in, “Don’t you want your bed?” He thinks on it for a moment, smiling softly.

“You stay…”

He takes one final look at you as he shuts the door behind him. You stare after him for a good long moment, blinking away whatever was left of your tears as you snuggle back into the sheets. You can hear him walking around and then, the entire apartment goes quiet. And you know right then and there he’s off to bed.

Even though crying usually puts you to sleep, you can’t stop your brain from replaying your entire day over and over. It’s been a heck of a day and in all that chaos, of all the things you could focus on? Focusing on one specific moment during this day is what allows you to finally exhale, relax and let go. 

And just like that, you fall asleep.

Earlier that morning

Your entire body feels warm as you shift sleepily, the dream you were having making you smile before you realize that feeling is now being replaced by your need to pee. God damn your idea of drinking water before heading to bed. You try to drag yourself out of bed, but you feel a tightness around your abdomen. Glancing down, you freeze, now completely awake and all fatigue gone.

The warmth around your abdomen and against your back belongs to none other than Yoongi, who, at some point after returning, must have finally made it to bed after you. This also makes you realize that, in your tired haze earlier, you hadn’t settled in the guest room like you thought, but in his bedroom again. Even more startling is the realization that he not only got into bed with you but that his body is now wrapped tightly and warmly around you. His face is buried in the back of your neck, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. What are you supposed to do?

You wince as you make your first move out of bed, dragging one leg over the edge and gently pulling yourself up. Surprisingly, his grip loosens, and as you slip out of bed, you cautiously glance over your shoulder to see him sleeping on his back. With a sigh of relief, you hurry to the bathroom, and while washing your hands, you look at your reflection and smile to yourself. You’re not sure what to make of it, but it must have been an accident. There’s no way this could have happened on purpose, right? No. The last time the two of you shared a bed was when you were kids, and that was okay then. Right?  

As you enter the bedroom again, the morning sun peeking through his curtains shines a path for you to make your way back to bed. But then a thought strikes you. Should you go back to bed with him? You’re aware now, and maybe the easiest thing would be to step away and go to the guest room, as was your initial goal.  

Yet, as you crawl back under the covers, you find yourself seeking the comfort of his warmth one more time. And as if he knows—whether he's truly asleep or faking, you don't even care—he wraps his arms around you as you snuggle into his side, burying your face in his chest while looping an arm around his middle.  

You glance up at him; Yoongi's breathing is even and unbothered as he sleeps soundly. You feel the arm he wrapped around you slip to settle snugly around your waist, pulling you closer than you already were as you gasp lightly. He makes the smallest noise from the back of his throat as he settles again, his cheek resting against the top of your head. You bring your hand up to his chest, placing it firmly down against it and using the tip of your nail to trace patterns across it. 

And just like that, realization crashes over you like waves crashing against rocks, and your heart begins to race, thumping loudly against your ribcage. You are overtaken by emotions that you must swallow down thickly, your throat feeling as dry as the Sahara Desert. Whether this has been a long time coming or not, whether it has always been there or has just appeared recently, it matters very little.

What truly matters is that the fabric of your friendship with Yoongi has changed before your eyes over the years, culminating in this moment. Your thirty-year-old self carries the heart of your fifteen-year-old self—it has never left. It was easy to deny what has always been beneath the surface, what you've been sweeping under the carpet or burying in the yard of your mind palace all along. In reality, things were always different.

What mattered now was that as you were wrapped in Yoongi's embrace, snuggled into his warmth, feeling the steadiness of his heart beating against your hand, you knew now more than ever that you couldn't deny it any longer. 

That to no or little avail, denying just no longer worked. 

You were falling for your best friend, or more like, you had been falling for him for a long time and it had finally caught up. 

And that’s why when you drift off to sleep, accepting what has probably always been, you have a gentle smile gracing your lips even amidst the fear of what’s to come. 

Because you know, no matter what?

Yoongi and you are going to be just fine. 

Always.

author’s note »» Well! Not only do we confirm for real that Yoongi has feelings for Reader, but we also get Reader realizing that her teenage crush has bloomed in secret! Here commences the pining everyone! I hope you enjoyed! :D

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post separator credit to @enchanthings-a

[gunwoo-bh]

you mean the world to me

{cr. 0613data}

[gunwoo-bh]

Pretending to be innocent

Allback

Don’t laugh

Choreography is hard.

I need to wipe the mirror with newspaper.

May 19, 2023 - Big Hit Music Official Naver Blog - Yoongi with a camera

[gunwoo-bh]

you like because, you love despite part two [as expected] - myg

as expected

chef!yoongi x korean!f!doctor!reader | mdni 18+

summary »» Your friendship always made sense to you and those around you. It wasn’t difficult when both your parents grew up together as best friends too. Your moms always used to refer to your friendship as being written in the stars, whereas your dads believed it impossible for you two, being girl and boy, to be best friends. Your mothers constantly remind them how wrong they’ve been to believe that. Or were they?

cw »» fluff, yoongi is a quiet but caring (just) friend?, reader continues to be queen of overthinking and hyperfocusing, secret pining, swearing, dual pov

wc »» 6.2k

author’s note »» Wowza! Thank you guys for the love on the first chapter of this new series! It's always odd finding your footing with new ideas, characters and world but I think it's getting easier! Here's chapter two for you to enjoy!

“What the heck…”

You laugh out loud when you see what’s waiting at your front door, shaking your head in amazement. You kneel down to unwrap the heavy package, smiling when you see containers full of food that’ll last you days. 

You dig your phone out of your bag, noting the late hour, but you know he’ll answer. He always does when it’s you. You dial and press for a video call, holding your phone up with one hand and pushing into your apartment, the food in one hand, as he picks up the call. 

It takes a moment for the video to connect, but once it does, you see he’s still at the restaurant as he cusses at the phone, trying to find a spot to stand it up as you laugh. You lock the door and walk into your place. 

“Are you planning on feeding me for the month, or do you really think I’m gonna eat all of this tonight?” 

His camera finally stabilizes, “Yah, I’m gonna use your words against you now. Just say thank you.” 

You snort, “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” You hear some glass clinking. “How was work?”

You grunt as you untie your hair, removing your coat and tossing it aside, “Long. As usual. I have to work a night shift tomorrow that I completely forgot I took for someone so, now I’m bummed. I was gonna come grab a drink at yours but now I can’t…What about you? Are you still cleaning up? It’s late.”

He hums, leaning against the counter to look directly at you through the camera, “Had a big group dinner tonight, they were…” he sighs, making you grin, “messy.” 

“Did they eat a lot and drink a lot?” 

He sighs, rotating the camera view to show you the mess left on the one table as you inhale sharply, “Yeah, absolute frat boys.”

You giggle, watching the camera rotate back to him, “You were one of those once too…”

He barks a laugh, “I was not.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m sorry to tell you but you absolutely were!”

You start putting the containers of food in your fridge, still full with the last batch of food he had made for you, “By the way,” he briefly glances up to you, “wait before giving me more food, okay? My fridge is quite literally full to the brim…” 

It’s your turn this time to rotate your camera, showing him the content of your fridge before putting it back in its original spot as he sighs, “You barely have time to cook for yourself. You shouldn’t be eating so much takeout.”

Scoffing, you shake your head, “I stopped ordering in when you started bringing me food. I don’t need to get scolded by my mom and you.” 

“I could tell my mom, too.” He threatens. 

“Yah,” you warn, “I will kill you if you do that.” 

He’s grinning as he takes his phone, and you, with him as he goes to clean the mess in the dining area. It is peaceful as both of you go on with your night, him cleaning up and with you washing up before making yourself a plate to eat. He glances at you every other moment as you enjoy your late dinner, chewing lazily and yawning between bites. 

“Tomorrow,” his voice shakes you out of your reverie, “come by the restaurant before we open for dinner, I’ll make you some lunch before you head off to work.”

You want to protest but you know how feeble that is since he never accepts your rejection and you rarely reject his offer either. 

“Mhm. I will.” 

He looks at you for a moment, “Finish your food and go to bed. You look like you’re about to collapse…”

He’s not wrong. You’ve been dog tired every single day of this week and the one before, and work has only gotten busier with more responsibility falling on your shoulders. 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow! Goodnight~!” You wave at him as he wishes you goodnight, smiling lightly as you hang up first.

Knocking on the glass door, you peer inside to see if you can see him, but you don’t. Looking at your watch, you frown when you realize you are well within the time he had told you to come over. You nervously shift on your feet when you start thinking that he maybe forgot or got busy. 

You feel the lightest vibration in your pocket as you jump, digging into your purse as you smile when you see Yoongi’s name pop up. 

Yoong~ 🍊[3:07 PM]: Come upstairs, I’m home.

Relief washes over you, walking to the side of the building and going upstairs as you walk into his apartment, leaving your shoes at the door and you can smell your favourite food. You break out into a smile as you push into his place until you come around the corner to face him as he stands at the stove. 

“Soft tofu stew?”

He hums. 

“With seafood?” 

He nods. 

“Oh, I love you, have I ever told you that?” You come around the counter to grab a bowl in pure excitement. 

He’s staring at you when you glance up at him when he doesn’t move, obviously not used to your being vocal about your feelings for him as a friend. It wasn’t common but it wasn’t the first time you’d ever said that to him. 

“Not often, it seems.” You giggle timidly, rubbing your arm before nudging the bowl. “Can I?” 

Yoongi clears his throat, licking his lips, “How hungry?” 

“So hungry…” you’re pouting. 

He pours and pours until the bowl is nearly all full, your eyes wide in excitement at the feast he’s prepared for you. 

“I’ll bring the rest over, okay? Go eat.” He’s quietly putting food away already, finishing up in the kitchen before joining you at the table. 

He grabs your soda, opening it up as you take the first bite of food as you sigh in contentment. If your entire life could be spent enjoying meals Min Yoongi cooked for you? You’d consider that a pretty decent life to lead. You are wiggling in the chair, smiling with your mouth full as you sigh at how good it tastes. 

“How was brunch and lunch?”

“Sorta busy, sorta not. Quieter than usual?” He looks tired and you feel concerned as you watch him rub the side of his face. You take your spoon, making him a hearty bite before leaning over and holding it to him. 

“Eat. You look exhausted.” He frowns but takes the bite from you, watching you.

“You shouldn’t worry about me…”

You scoff, offended, “Of course I’m gonna worry…” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you look down, “who do you think I am?”

He opens his mouth just barely, breathing out softly, “I don’t like you worrying about me…”

“I know, but that’s the deal we both agreed to when we became friends…”

“Is it though? I don’t remember agreeing to that.” 

You pout, making him another spoonful which he takes without protest, “Yeah, you know that whole ‘you’re stuck with me and you can’t get rid of me’? That’s the friendship version of ‘in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part’...” he chokes on his food, glancing up at you curiously. “So…yeah, you did agree to it. You didn’t disagree…”

“I’m older than you, I should be the one worrying…” he argues, voice low.

You snort, “You’re one year older, take it easy…” you sip the broth, gently slurping it, “are you gonna tell your girlfriend not to worry about you some day?”

His eyes widen, eyebrows furrowing after a moment, “What girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know. The girlfriend you’ll get someday? When you get a girlfriend, I mean. There is a day you’ll get a girlfriend and she will worry about you. Are you gonna forbid her?” Why are you ranting? He got the message. 

He’s watching your rambling with a curious but amused smile, “I’ll discourage it.” 

You snarl, sucking on your teeth as you look on disapprovingly, “I’ll make sure she doesn’t let it discourage her…”

“You won’t.” 

“Uh, yes. I will.” 

“You won’t be needing to talk to any girlfriend I ever have…” he assures, sipping his water.

“You sound so confident…” you squint your eyes at him.

Yoongi grins, “I am.” You do notice how his eyes take a gentle wander up and down as he nods firmly. 

“We’ll see…”

“We won’t.” You sigh loudly which makes him chuckle. “Why do you insist so much?”

You deflate, “Because I want you to let people take care of you, too…”

He shakes his head, arms crossing over his chest as he casually shrugs, “I don’t need or want others to do that. I have you.” 

Your breath catches in your throat, gulping loudly as you watch him watch you. This feels different and you don’t know why you notice this time around. Or maybe it’s always been there and you just decided to turn a blind eye to it. To deny what’s been there, maybe, this entire time. And a simple question changed everything you’ve ever felt or believed. 

“You always do.” You whisper.

He shifts in his seat, looking down to his lap and clearing his throat, “So, no girlfriend to worry about, ‘kay?” 

He quickly glances at you while you’re chewing the inside of your cheek, bobbing your head up and down as you try not to let your overthinking brain run too far with that sentence. What does he mean by not needing to worry about a girlfriend? Why would you? But when you face that question, you’re left with asking yourself one important thing.

Was that relief you felt when he said that?

You look up at him and realize, as he meets your eyes, that yes, you feel relief that he doesn’t have someone in his life right now. Other than you. His eyes are soft as he gazes at you, making your heart flutter and sending a shiver down your spine. You look away, down at the bowl of carefully prepared stew made just for you, as you blink slowly. 

“Okay.” 

He doesn’t say anything, sighing softly, “I don’t want you worrying because there’s nothing to worry about…” 

“I’d be a shitty friend if I didn’t worry…” 

He smiles gently, “How about I can take care of myself? But,” he adds quickly when you get ready to retort, “I will come to you if I need anything.” 

“You won’t.”

Yoongi huffs the smallest laugh, “I won’t but I’m hoping you believe it when I say that…as long as I have you, I’ll be okay.” 

“I do.” He hums when you shift. “Believe you.”

“Eat. I’ll drive you to work.” He stands up, grabbing his already empty bowl. 

You frown as you register that while pondering your friendship with Yoongi, he had managed to down an entire bowl of stew and when you glance to your own, you realize you’ve barely touched it. You gently reach for the spoon and you dig in as he cleans up, only the sound of slurping and dishes clinking heard for a while. 

When you finish, you wander over to him with your empty bowl and he simply takes it from you as you stand there, feeling small as he cleans up your things. You notice two containers of food set aside, smaller than the big one on his left as you frown. 

“These are for your dinner. For work. Tonight.” 

“Oh?” You look at his back. “Thank you.” 

He grabs them, taking a bag and placing them neatly in with all your favorite side dishes as you take the time to watch him. Then, you ask yourself: Do you find him attractive? Have you ever actually thought about it deeper than you did when you were fifteen?

The quick answer is: you have eyes; you’re not blind. 

But the more in-depth answer is: you have spent enough time looking at his soft face, every curve of his features carefully sculpted like he was a Renaissance sculpture made of Carrara marble. Nothing about him is harsh, except maybe his stare. But that was never reserved for you. Even if he tried to glare at you or stare you down, it always failed. He was always soft with you. No, softness aside, Yoongi never struggled in the looks department even when he didn’t like his appearance as a teen. His dyed hair matched his fair skin, the honey blonde tones accentuating the gentleness of his features. He was tall too—much taller than you, at least—and you liked his kind of tall. Not the kind where he towered over you to be intimidating, but just enough that you felt safe in his presence. As your eyes travel down to his shoulders, he turns around, catching you off guard.

Shit, were you really just checking him out inch by inch? 

Yes, you were.

He walks around the counter and faces you, looking down at you, “You ready to go?” 

You nod so fast you probably look like a bobblehead, “Yeah…”

You follow him out and down to the nice SUV he bought himself a few years back, thanking him when he opens the door for you as you get in. Your eyes follow him when he walks around the front to come sit behind the wheel, putting the keys in and immediately putting the heat on for you, setting the seat warmer only for you. You get comfortable, seatbelting yourself in as he puts the car into drive and exits the spot. 

The drive there is quiet, some music playing in the background as he keeps focused on the road ahead. You shut your eyes, breathing softly through your nostrils as you try to calm your heart which hadn’t stopped drumming steadily in your chest since Yoongi’s apartment. 

You gasp, eyes shooting open when you feel his hand on your wrist. His slender fingers wrap around it as he tugs your hand closer to his face, mouthing the air still in shock. He looks at something on your hand, shaking his head before placing your hand back down.

“You need to stop doing that.”

Confused, staring at him with a blank stare, “Huh?”

“Picking and chewing your nails…” he taps the top of your hand.

You look down at them, growing embarrassed at the state of them as you tug the sleeves of your sweater over them, “I know…” 

“Is work stressful?” 

The look you give him is met with a sigh, “What do you think? I’m a doctor, of course it is…”

“I mean, no one is being an ass, right?”

Your heart warms at his concern, making you hide a smile as you look out the window, “No one is being awful. Considering how this can go sometimes, especially for women, I’ve been just fine…”

He stays quiet for far longer than you expect, looking back at him to see that he’s already looking at you, “Good.” 

The rest of the car ride is silent as he pulls up to the entrance of the hospital, stopping in the drop off zone as you glance out to where you will spend the next eight or more hours. You feel him move next to you as he reaches in the backseat for the lunch he made you. He holds it in his lap, looking at you as you both sigh. 

“Thank you for feeding me. Again.” Your huffed laugh makes him smile just barely.

“Always.”

Always. Always sounded really good coming from him.

As you step out, you turn back to grab the bag from him as he looks at you, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Sure. What time are you off anyway?”

“Four. In the morning.” You groan, letting your hand hang for a few seconds before waving. “I should go, I gotta clock in and do my rounds…”

“Have a good shift…”

“Thanks. You too. Don’t let drunk people get to you.” You wink at him as he sighs, waving you off.

You shut the door softly, waving at him as he drives away and you watch his car disappear as you glance down to the lunch he packed up for you. You smile softly, biting your lip and you head inside, your cheeks feeling warmer than the sun.

You apologize as you rush through the halls, holding your hospital ID lanyard down while taking a sharp corner. Glancing at your watch, you swear under your breath, wincing when you nearly crash into a colleague as you bow in apology. Spotting the cafeteria, you finally slow down, catching your breath as you scan the area for Harin. When she texted you that she was near the hospital, you had rushed down from your office to meet her for a quick coffee.

It was rare to spend time like this with a friend on a busier than usual night at the hospital, so it was always an easy yes to take a little time to catch up. Especially since it had been almost two weeks since Hoseok’s celebration dinner, and you rarely went that long without speaking to or seeing your girls. 

“Unnie!” You twist around when you hear her voice, smiling brightly when she’s waving you over.

You zig and zag through the tables, sliding into the chair she’s pulled out for you as you grab her hands, “Oh my god, I know it hasn’t been that long but I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long!”

She giggles, squeezing your hands, “I know! I’m kinda glad Namjoon's flight was delayed because it means we can catch up a little before I gotta head to Incheon.” She pushes an iced americano your way, gladly accepting the caffeinated gift. 

“What a girlfriend you are to be awake this late. Hope he knows how lucky he is…” you wink at her.

“Please, I remind him.” She giggles, chewing on the straw.

You sip it happily, listening to her talk about what’s been going on in her life and how work is treating her. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you're smiling at her as she talks about her last date with Namjoon just the other night.

“Thank you for babysitting Rocco that night. We really needed a date." You roll your eyes, groaning playfully. 

“Rocco and I had an amazing cuddle, he's the best pup ever. And you guys are so fucking cute. I’m so glad you two finally got together."

She blushes, “Well, we were the only ones clueless about our feelings really…”

You both quiet down as you slurp whatever is left of your drink and you look down to your phone where a text from Yoongi has been waiting to be answered for the last hour. Chewing on the inside of your cheek you rub the back of your neck as you clear your throat.

“Can…can I ask you a question?” 

She’s smiling, nodding softly, “Yeah! Shoot.”

You shift awkwardly in your seat, playing with your hospital ID as you sigh, “When…when did you start considering Namjoon as like, how do I say, an option?” You see her frown. “I mean, when did dating or having feelings for Namjoon become an option that was like valid…fuck, this is sounding so stupid…”

But Harin is smiling as you rub your temple. Why did this have to be so weird?

“I’d say two or three years into our friendship I was like ‘oh?’ but I still never went too far into that line of thinking until we went on that double date we were set on? And the girl he was there with basically told him it was weird to have more romantic vibes with his friend than the girl he was on an actual date with…”

You had never heard that story before, chuckling softly, “Really?” 

She nods, “It still took me a year to even consider him an option. To look at him and notice ‘oh, he’s quite handsome’ or to realize the way his nicknames for me made me smile or that whenever he touched my back or held my hands in his to warm them gave me butterflies…”

Her confessing those little things makes you smile and hope for love like that someday,  “Was it long after that before you realized it wasn’t just a crush?”

She hums, “I believe, and this is just me, that most boy-girl friendships always go through a phase of crushing on each other. It happens. Like I know you used to have a crush on Yoongi when you were a teen but you got through that phase and look at you guys…” 

You smile tightly, “Yeah…”

“So, I think I always did like him but I was more scared of losing our friendship so, convincing myself we could only ever be friends made far more sense. Until it kept bothering me. I was just lucky he felt the same…” She smiles, cheeks pink from thinking about their story before she snaps her attention back to you. “Why are you asking?” 

You’re quiet for longer than usual, thinking of how to approach the subject without fessing up to what your brain had been filled with these last two weeks. 

“Uh, well,” you sigh, frustrated as you groan, “fuck it, okay. When Minha asked about you guys, and Hoseok and Soojin the other night?” She nods. “Well, when she asked about Yoongi and I, it occurred to me that we’d never been asked that together in the same room. Ever. Never. That was the first time. And I mean…none of you guys ever asked us together or alone.”

“Do you wanna know why?” 

“Yes! Please…”

She scoots her chair that little bit closer, “Because you always made sure to make a point that all you were to each other is friends.” You’re not sure what you expected but it wasn’t that answer. “Best friends. Even when you introduced him to new people or even your exes, he was always ‘my childhood best friend Yoongi’.”

You mouth the air, no words coming out. Did you always say that? 

Harin continues, “Why is this bothering you? I didn’t wanna bring it up and to be frank, we all get the distinct feeling you would both rather never talk about that subject…”

You’re frowning, clearing your throat, “Because it made me wonder what about us made her think that in the short amount of time she met us…”

You see Harin hide a grin behind her hand as you frown when she catches you staring, “Oh, honey,” she reaches for your hand, “you ready to hear why?”

“I don’t know about her, but I know I am!” You yelp and jump, looking behind you to see Jimin standing there with dinner in hand as he laughs. 

“Aish! How long have you been there?!” You whisper yell. 

“Long enough. I’m sorry, I was eavesdropping.” You smack him as he sits next to Harin. “So, do you want to hear the why or are you gonna stay mad that I listened in on your conversation?”

You’re about to snap but you stop. Damn Jimin for knowing how curious you are and using it against you. 

“Talk.” 

“Whoa, Yoongi really has influenced you, huh?” You’re about to reach over the table but Harin thankfully beats you to it, smacking her boyfriend straight across the chest as he whines. 

“Just talk. I might let her attack you next time.” She warns him, smiling when he gasps when staring at her. 

Jimin smiles as he turns to you, “You guys basically are a couple without the label and the more, you know, intimate ‘stuff’...” 

“Just say sex, damn it.” You mutter under your breath. “We aren't though…” 

Jimin, mouth full, nods, “Ha’ to shay i’ bu’ you ‘re…”

You’re staring at him, squinting as you glance at Harin who sighs, “He said ‘hate to say it but you are’...” 

“I wonder why you're single...” You tease him, making Harin snort. 

He finishes his bite, “You scare them all away.”

Harin pinches his thigh, making you laugh, “You guys are like brother and sister, I swear…” she claps, “alright, children, back on track here!” 

Jimin clears his throat as he sits back, “Look, everyone knows you two are super close and how long you’ve known each other…but we’ve all thought, at some point, that you guys would either experiment or just go for it and date…”

“All of you have thought this?!”

Harin and Jimin glance at each other, nodding softly.

This completely shocks you to your core, frowning as you mouth the air and you rub your chest. Is it heartburn or are you feeling anxious? You swallow thickly, feeling like your own saliva has turned into sand which you’re trying to gulp down as quickly as possible. Why has no one told you anything?

“But you never said anything…”

“Because we know how much you value your friendship and I didn’t want to create any doubt in your mind even if I did want to ask…” Harin looks at you, compassionate to how you’re feeling. “You guys are such great friends…we didn’t want to be the friends who teased mercilessly so we knew not saying a thing was best…”

“Plus, Yoongi scares us. Ouch!!” He rubs his arm when she hits him as Harin shakes her head at him, confusing you even more. 

“Uhh, why?”

Harin is still glaring at your friend, and colleague, turning her head to look at you with a look you can’t describe, “Because he has told us off when we’ve teased…”

You’re left completely stunned, “When was that?”

“Oh! Years ago. Every new person that’s joined our group since then has been warned to not bring it up.” You frown, leaning back as she adds. “Mostly because Yoongi is also insanely protective of your friendship…of you.”

You knew that already, that was a given between you two. But you’ve never known him to be protective of your friendship that way, not like the way you are loudly protective. You find it heartwarming to know he is defending your friendship that way too, but you also wonder…is that the only way he sees you?

No.

That shouldn’t matter. You can’t let it matter. 

Harin notices your frustration as you sigh, “It’s stupid…”

Jimin loses his playfulness as he watches you, “It’s most likely not.” He leans forward. “Tell us. Y’know we won’t say a thing, right?”

You sit there wondering for a while just how bad saying it out loud would be. Isn’t saying it out loud just making it more real? Doesn’t that force you to face the reality of what may be? You have no idea, but you know one thing: it rests so heavy on your chest that you have to talk to someone who isn’t Yoongi. 

“After…that dinner, I was left wondering…” you sigh loudly, frustrated at even speaking the words, “why I never seriously considered dating Yoongi?”

You think this should not leave you all with this feeling that washes over all three of you. Like a wave crashing against rocks loudly, you all understand the significance of this moment and of the question. You watch the way your friends glance at each other, sharing a whole conversation with one look before glancing back at you. 

“It’s dumb, I told you…” you awkwardly rub your neck, feeling like you had officially created a memory of you in their minds that they would never be able to forget. 

Harin shakes her head, “It’s not.” 

You see her features soften when she catches sight of the fear that flashes in your eyes. You always speak of your biggest fear in life being losing your friendship with Yoongi and if you were to investigate this question for an answer, you know things would never be the same. 

“No?”

Your friends shake their heads, Jimin leaning forward, “Have you been thinking about it?”

You’ve tried not to these last couple of weeks, only allowing your mind to wander briefly to that line of thinking a handful of times. You hum, “Yeah, I mean…we’ve been friends for so long but it never actually occurred to me that I never gave it real thought…until now.”

“Do you think your…crush on him all those years ago may have resurfaced?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t even really thought that far…” You lean and rest your head on your arms, shutting your eyes tightly. 

“Well,” Harin starts, “you don’t have to figure this out now, y’know? You don’t need to rush thinking about it…you can even decide not to think about it if you didn’t want to…” 

Opening your eyes, you're met with the concerned eyes of your friends who are smiling softly at you, “But that’s all I can think about…since that night…” you breathe out.

Jimin's eyes widen lightly, never having seen you this concerned, “And that’s definitely new…”

You nod, “Fifteen year old me already knew the crush was silly because I did not want to ruin our friendship and there was no way he would have felt the same anyways…”

“You probably buried that way deep down…” 

“It’s so stupid. In a few days I won’t even be thinking about this I bet you…” you try, without much success, to fool yourself into believing that lie. You look down to your watch and sigh, “I have to go, I have an appointment soon…but thanks for listening and giving your input about my brain being…silly…”

You stand up, quickly walking around to give each of them a hug as you bid them goodbye. Jimin and Harin look at each other after you’ve walked off, sharing a knowing look.

“This is…just as expected.”

“This was bound to happen....” Harin chuckles. 

Jimin sighs, “I don’t wanna jump to conclusions but…I've been waiting for this for so long…”

Harin pinches the back of his hand, “Don’t jinx it.” 

4:47 AM

You’re leaning over the nurses station, reporting your last patient chart to them to relay to the next doctor. You can feel the exhaustion setting behind your eyes, blinking it away as you listen to your head nurse as you sign some forms for her to hand over. 

“You must be so tired.” She pouts while looking at you. “I’ll hand these over, you should go home.”

“Are you sure?” 

She nods, grabbing the forms out of your hands as you smile and you return to your office, getting changed and locking up behind you as you drag your body all the way down to the main floor. You adjust your bag over your shoulder as you yawn, slowly getting off the escalator as you look up from your phone and you stop sharply, your sneakers squeaking. 

Sitting in the lobby sits Yoongi, arms crossed and leaned back with his eyes shut, probably napping as he’s obviously been waiting for you. You look down to your watch and the, now, five am timestamp makes you feel guilty. You were supposed to be done an hour ago. Nervously chewing on your lower lip, you wince as the guilt crawls its way into your chest and you make your way over to him. He doesn’t budge when you stand next to him, grabbing and shaking his shoulder gently as he startles away, eyes wide as looks up to you and he relaxes, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“What are you doing here? And don’t say ‘to take you home’ like it’s obvious. You should be asleep…” you chastise. 

He mouths the air awkwardly for a moment, not expecting your wittiness, “Couldn’t sleep?” 

You scoff, leaning over to search his coat pockets for his car keys and he simply holds them up for you, “I’m driving us, and you don’t get to say shit about this…”

Gazing up at you, he doesn’t move as you look down and Yoongi stands up, causing you to stumble back as he grabs your shoulder. He raises his eyebrows, checking if you’re okay. 

“I’m fine.” You shift on your feet. “Where are you parked?” 

He hands you a ticket for the underground hospital parking as you scowl, “I didn’t want to find parking on the street…”

You link your arm with his, dragging him downstairs. Once you’re sat in the car, you adjust the seat and seatbelt yourself in, checking he does the same, before driving off. He stays quiet the entire way back, trying to keep awake but fading every other second until you ask him a question.

“Yours or mine?”

“Mhm?”

“Crash at yours or mine? We’re both dead on our feet…” 

“Do you work tomorrow?” He mumbles.

“Nope. Day off tomorrow.”

“Then mine.”

You come to a sudden stop, startling him as you chortle, “We’re here.” 

Looking out the window to his building, it takes Yoongi a moment to process that you drove directly to his home already, “Why ask?” 

You shrug, “Felt like it. Plus it was really cute that you weren’t even aware that I was driving us here…” He blinks tiredly. “Okay, you’re tired and I’m tired, let’s go up…”

Once inside, you immediately rush to get ready for bed before collapsing, without uttering a single word to your friend, as exhaustion threatens to knock you out when you fall back onto the mattress. You stare at the ceiling for what feels like five seconds and when you blink, sleep takes hold of you and you drift off peacefully.

Yoongi takes a long time to clean up his kitchen, regretting leaving it a mess before coming to pick you up. He knows he could do this in the morning or worse, he knows you’re likely to clean it up for him. He can’t have that. This is his mess. 

He wipes the counter one final time, tossing the cloth across the counter as he gives up for now. Glancing outside he can see the tiniest amount of light, indicating the sunrise was slowly making its appearance. Flicking the lights off one by one, he shuts the curtains for guaranteed darkness in the morning. Padding down the hallway to his bedroom, he opens the door and walks through the darkness to his ensuite bathroom. 

He’s done washing up, wiping his face with a towel as he looks at his reflection. He leans forward to card his fingers through his blonde hair, noticing the beginning of his dark roots growing out already and sighing. He nods, satisfied as he shuts the light off and uses his phone as a flashlight to walk to bed. 

Yoongi’s eyes widen when he sees the lump under his sheets, realizing, in his sleepy state, that it was most definitely you in his bed. He rubs his chest, considering his next step. He sighs, too tired to think about walking down the other hall to the guest room. He should have known this could happen, seeing as this was mostly where you slept when you stayed over at his. But he is too tired and cares very little about your reaction come morning to go in the other room, choosing to explain himself and seek an apology later instead. 

He approaches your side of the bed, your phone on the ground and your hand hanging over the edge. He huffs slightly. You must have dropped it when you fell asleep, he smiles at the image as he reaches down to pick it up, grabbing the charger he left for you here to plug it in. He places it down on the bedside table, looking over to you when doing so. Your hair covers your entire face, moving softly with the air that leaves you slightly parted lips as he grins and he uses two fingers to gently move it away, tucking it gently over your shoulder. His breath is shaky as he stares down at you, biting his lower lip as he admires the image of you in his bed. 

Your phone lightly buzzing startles him, shaking him out of his thoughts of you. He shuffles around the other side of the bed, pulling the covers off and gently sitting down in bed, glancing over his shoulder to ensure he hadn’t woken you up. He’s relieved when your breathing doesn’t change, carefully lying down next to you and staring at the ceiling. Yoongi sets an alarm on his phone, glancing over and over at you, afraid to wake you up with his lit up screen. With a sigh, he plugs his phone in and finally shuts his eyes, too. It always takes him longer to fall asleep, especially when his mind decides to play a joke on him and he’s left thinking of every possible scenario of what would happen if you were to wake up and realize you were both in the same bed. 

And as he comes up with about one hundred and one scenarios, his heavy eyelids begin winning over as his body slowly carries him into the land of sleep. But as he falls steadily into it, he’s aware of the bed dipping and you shifting next to him. And right as he’s enveloped by the softness and warmth of his bed, his ease into the land of sleep probably also has to do with the warmth of your body that’s nestled in his side and around him unexpectedly. 

Yoongi drifts off to sleep with one single thought. 

The thought of you.

author’s note »» We're finally getting a better idea of exactly where Yoongi stands in regards to reader! And it seems like he's bit further down the rabbit hole than reader is! I hope you enjoy chapter two! I am really excited for what's coming next! :D

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post separator credit to @enchanthings-a

[gunwoo-bh]

yoongi getting progressively more excited over a simple board game

[gunwoo-bh]

YOONGI, MARRY ME ♡

[gunwoo-bh]

bring buffgi back 🤞