gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

ooc: Yippee!

Also btw I now have an outline for the bread statement fic

No little German boy, don't accept a gift from Heinrich Unheimlich!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

I’m not allowed to say cuss words, the PG rating won’t let me.

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

I really want some peonies…

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

I’m not allowed to go to school today because apparently so much garbage has piled up there that it’s become a health hazard…

Meine gute do I hate Tuefort.

Anyway, I’m getting homeschooled until it gets fixed. If it gets fixed. I don’t think it will (not that I want it to).

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Pyro summoned Yogsothoth today and apparently it’s my job to clean up all its blood now, despite the fact Pyro is a grown… thing… and should be able to clean up after itself. I just wish the mercenaries wouldn’t always shirk their responsibilities onto me. I already have hand full helping father in the lab for heaven’s sake!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Ooc: This is objectively the coolest thing ever. It might take me a while to write the bread statement due to the shall we say, spontaneous nature of my writing, but I will do my best to get it done soon! Also I’d be perfectly fine if you added blood, I love blood :]

No little German boy, don't accept a gift from Heinrich Unheimlich!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Hey, ooc, you haven't posted in a while so I got a bit worried and wanted to check up on you. You doing alright?

Also, I've been working on the Götz drawing and I'm pretty close to finishing it. Are you still up to writing that bread teleporting statement?

Ooc: I’ve been doing fine, just been pretty busy with work and a bit burnt out, but my schedule should be opening up soon letting me pour some time into my projects!

And hell yea I’m down to write the bread statement

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Hello there. You might wanna check the reblogs on that tf2 x magpod crossover post :3

Ooc: gasp! How dare tumblr not inform me of these posts, how evil of it.

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

(Ooc: I grabbed the prev tags to add clarification to what questions I’m answering. Spoilers for The Magnus Archives ahead

1) I feel as if the entire team fortress 2 series is incredibly intertwined with the slaughter. You have all these mercenaries fighting a pointless war over a worthless pit of gravel, fighting and killing each other constantly, and for what? Tf2 may be comedic in tone, but it is a dark comedy at its roots. That fortunately makes it very easy to translate into horror. In the end, tf2 is a lesson about hate. You can get so hung up on hating a person, an ideal, anything really, that you can begin to forget why even started hating it in the first place. The slaughter takes rage, and makes it feel right. Thematically, it just fits too well with the vast majority of tf2 that it would feel strange to categorise it as anything else.

2 & 3) when it comes down to it, I’m very much on the stance of “all the categorisations people use within tma just don’t work a lot of the time.” During the eyepocalypse sure, those categories become distinct enough to separate, but outside of that the line is blurry at best I believe. Anyway they’d probably be avatars, although some of them probably blur the line just a bit. I do feel like they’d all be slaughter and hunt(yes even pyro, fire doesn’t necessarily mean desolation), except for Medic who I feel would be more flesh and stranger

4) they’d probably share a domain, maybe even be it’s sole in habitants. It would be the fear of fighting without a point in its purest form. Alternatively, but more outside the box, they could have their own domains. Some of these are more from the perspective of them being the victims but others have them as the torturers

For Soldier, it could be interesting if his domain was a look at the fear of the dehumanisation of war. Victims are fighting a war, but everyone who’s fighting is exactly the same as them, down the the very last freckle. The only difference between them an the enemy side is uniform, but they fight all the same.

Scout: everyone around you is great. Doctors, boxers, war heros, and you? Your small, pathetic, weak. You’ve accomplished nothing have you? You try. Look at this, look at that, aren’t I great? But no one ever seems to agree. Your brother was a dentist, what are you, a fast food worker? Your nothing. No matter what you do the accomplishments of those before you always seem to be greater.

Pyro: his domain would probably take the form of a burning fire similar to the apartment complex, although the fear here comes not from the loss of a home, but from the fact the fire is hunting you down. Despite the fact it’s fire it’s less desolation and more hunt. No matter where you go the fire follows, and you cannot escape it. By running you only bring it with you, hurting others, maybe even people you care about. So you let the fire take you, so it doesn’t hurt anyone else. You hope it will bring relief, but it only brings pain, and fear, and you start running again, start hurting others again. (Or maybe the domain is simply you being in paradise, but things creep through, and you start doubting. Slowly realising your hurting people, and you doubt your sanity)

Heavy: you are stuck to the wall with chains. Your family is free though, they are happy. Monster come though, they hurt your family and you can do nothing but watch. They leave them alive though, and the cycle repeats.

Engineer: you can feel it can’t you? Your bones deteriorating, weak, useless. But you can get a replacement can’t you. The new one is metal, lasting, strong, useful. But your other joints start to fail too, so you get them replaced as well. Eventually, for one blissful moment, you are machine, perfect and pure, but your flesh grows back, eats away at the steal till you are meat once again. Horrible, wretched meat.

Demoman’s domain would probably be about heavy expectations, and the fear of not being useful. His relationship with his mother was only briefly touched on in the comics and I feel that that’s a shame. Everyone else (sans pyro. Pyro is an enigma) got to have a nice resolution, tying up their loose ends and character arcs neatly. So, maybe his domain is a house. Maybe the victims are constantly being told to do impossible tasks, and when they eventually fail, they’re told they aren’t good enough.

Sniper: an open field spanning infinity, and a single tower in the center. You are going to die. But when? Will it be quick, a quick blow to the head? Or will you feel your blood drain from you slowly from a broken artery? Some people try to climb the tower, kill the sniper inside, but they quickly get disposed of. Doom is imminent

Spy: your friend is sitting next to a doppelgänger. You don’t know which one is wich. “Trust Me” they both say, “kill the other”. You shoot one. There is no fanfare, only the drip drip of red. “Why would you do that?” Asks your friend. But, you don’t know that they are your friend do you? You may never know. Could you have ever known? What if they had never even been your friend to begin with?

Medic: the thing with Medic, Is that I don’t think I even need to make a domain for him. My guy would already fit in perfectly In The Wellness Center.

4) absolutely.

5) if you draw Red and Blu Götz and i will write a whole statement about teleporting bread, including supplemental, with whatever specifications you add (within reason)

No little German boy, don't accept a gift from Heinrich Unheimlich!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Oh Mein Gott, this Spielzeugvogel ist blutig! Interesting

No little German boy, don't accept a gift from Heinrich Unheimlich!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

mein Geheimnis? Ich bin hundert Ratten im Trenchcoat

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

How unfortunate. Do you at-least have some copper wire or sheets I could use as a conductor?

Hey everyone!

I'm Lucy, but you can call me Lookout. I'm making this blog to share my experiences as a member of Reliable Excavation Demolition and general life things!

Because GOD knows I need to talk to some normal people.

Also, no lgbtq+ phobia or racism! That won't fly here!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Something is wrong in the base. I haven’t seen Spy in a while. Everyone is on edge.

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Ooc post//

🎩 Most of the Götzs’ cosmetics would be pretty formal, but there would be some cozy sweaters and stuff there too. Might have a cosmetic where it replaces his glasses with googly eyes.

🔫🩹Well, he wouldn’t be fighting so I’ll just skip these two

🎼 his theme would probably be in a similar vain to meet the medic considering he is medic’s clone, but instead of saxophone being the melody, it might become a much more petite woodwind like the flute to show he’s younger than his father. Additionally, it might have a few point where the music verges off into a far more dramatic, musical type vibe. Soap opera-ey almost.

📽️ it would probably be a self recorded interview where Götz is pretending he’s a famous broadway actor. He’d probably be in medic’s lab, with Medic in the background sorting through various exotic animal parts or something similarly gruesome. It would end off with something going wrong on medic’s end, causing Götz to rush to stop the recording.

🪗 I feel like he’d have on were he chases a frog around, one where he’s doing the whole “to be, or not to be” spiel, and one where he pulls some sort of dead animal out of his pocket and displays it proudly.

👔heh, Medic

📰 Breaking News, a string of pet dissapearances traced back to a child with no records whatsoever. More at eight. Or alternatively. Middle of no where child makes it big in community theatre production of Henry VI as Hal. More at eight.

📸 an embarrassing photo of him as a baby, sitting in a bucket, which is being held by Soldier.

🍞uhhhh, Idk, kornstangen?

🚔the real question is what wouldn’t he get arrested for? He would definitely get arrested for theft, vandalism, and/or breaking and entering, but would he commit something like assault or murder? Probably not unless someone he looks up to told him to do it.

🚀Rainworld. Granted I’d put anyone from tf2 in Rainworld just to observe them, but like, cmon, it’ll be funny watching him try to dissect a lizard only to get eaten.

🕝 this is a little freak. He will wake up at 3 am, and go to bed at 6 pm. He is the first one up and he will pester whoever wakes up next to make him some breakfast.

🌙probably a snowy owl. Ethereal like a dove but has big ol’ eyes that sorta look like Götz’s glasses

🫂he close with most of the mercs considering the fact the all basically raised him, but he’s closed with Medic, engineer, and heavy because they had the biggest part in taking care of him. Scout and him bonded of Singin’ in the rain, and sniper is like that annoying uncle who teases you at family reunion. Spy, as is typical, has very little impact of Götz’s life.

TF2 FANCLASS / OC ASK GAME

🎩 - What kind of cosmetics would your OC have, if they were in game?

🔫 - What kind of upgrades would they have?

🩹 - What is their base HP? What is their base speed?

🎼 - What would their theme sound like?

📽 -What would their "meet the team" video look like? Would it be an interview, or a narrative?

🪗 - What taunts would they have?

👔 - If they absolutely HAD to be one of the 9 classes from the game, which would they be?

📰 - They're in the news! For what?

📸 - Someone finds a photo they don't want getting out. What is it of?

🍞 - What is the bread associated with them that spawns from the teleporter?

🚔 -They've been arrested! What for?

🚀 - You have to put them in any game other than TF2. what game do you put them in?

🕒 - What time do they wake up / go to bed?

🌙 - It's halloween! What kind of bird / monster are they?

🫂 - Who/Which characters are they close with?

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

He speaks slowly and enunciates every syllable to the best of his ability.

Do you. Have a. Car. B-a-t-t-e-r-y. I need it. For a. project.

Hey everyone!

I'm Lucy, but you can call me Lookout. I'm making this blog to share my experiences as a member of Reliable Excavation Demolition and general life things!

Because GOD knows I need to talk to some normal people.

Also, no lgbtq+ phobia or racism! That won't fly here!

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Sometimes I wish I was a bird. I mean, they can fly, and preen their feathers… and take little baths in little fountains. What luxury. But I’m human and stuck with human sized baths and hairbrushes and walking on the ground. Stupid.

[gutz-the-anatomy-enthusiast]

Good to know.

Hello. We are a subsidiary of TF Industries created for the purpose of collecting, analyzing, and sorting data on behalf of TF Industries and it's other subsidiaries.

The Census Bureau was initially created because the original "Teufort Nine" has grown to upwards of 30 000 mercenaries at any given time, and a more robust data collection system is necessary.

Should you have any questions about the Bureau, don't hesitate to ask. We are happy to answer.

Notices and posts from the Bureau in general are tagged #notice from the census bureau

Posts about the Bureau are tagged #teufort census bureau

Information about the Enumerator can be found here,

Any posts from the Enumerator directly are tagged #from the enumerator

Any posts about the Enumerator are tagged #the enumerator

Most recent update of the ongoing study of which mercenary the public finds most attractive can be found here

Should you wish to submit your vote for the most attractive mercenary, you can do so here

Should a Mercenary wish to receive asks from the Census Bureau, they will need to have Anonymous Asks On.

Thank you for your co-operation.