h-eckers

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ladies! is there honestly anything sexier than

bread

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Last night I dreamed I was in an alternate reality of some sort, and the only way I could tell was because my sister wasn't married nor pregnant, and was dating someone else and not her husband.

"Who is that? Where is (Husband)?"

"We don't talk about him, this is your sister's boyfriend"

This made me stop, then laugh "Oh, this isn't Real then. This is a dream, guys. I'm just lucid dreaming. In Real life, sister is married to (husband) and is heavily pregnant"

I left. But I felt like The Boyfriend was angry, and that he might come for me.

I went to my house and went to feed my cats (another hint that made me realize it was indeed a dream), when I turned around and saw him shadow from the entrance door and through the hallway, disappearing behind a wall.

Backpedalling back in to the kitchen, I gasped, knowing it was him and that he was in the house. I turned around and bumped in to him, even tho by all accounts he shouldn't be there.

He said he didn't care about my sister, really, and he'd prefer my attention instead, taking my hand and bringing it to his face, but instead of kissing it, he opted to lick it. I pushed him away, angry, not even in my dreams would I do that to my sister.

He grew angrier, and at some point I kicked him.

Then, the part I can't stop thinking about happened

"I want to be Real. I'm tired of being here, where nothing is constant!" He hissed "Make. Me. Real. If you won't, I'll find a way to get out of here."

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i see all y'all shipping a platypus and a human man and i just have to say you’re slipping into dangerously bee movie territory

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One of New York Central’s “Mercury” engines in Chicago, 1936.

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google maps

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Having a high libido while hating your body is so weird like I wanna fuck everyone but also if anyone sees me naked I will kill myself

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HEY SCOOBY DOO WHAT THE FUCK

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Tumblr when they were removed by Apple from the App Store:

Tumblr “working as quickly as possible to resolve the issue”:

Tumblr on December 18th looking for 60% of their users:

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you know it’s disney movie release time when disney gets its first ever gay character for the twelfth time

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bonus:

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i have a friend whomst I will not name in case they don’t want to be asked about this but they have a Very Specific and Terrible power which is, if you take the online BDSM quiz and then just simply mention you have, they can look at you for under ten seconds and just state your top result.

I can’t tell you anything more soul-shattering, any death more instant and devastating, any moment more harrowing to witness than someone saying “yeah i took the BDSM quiz once” only for my friend to no more than glance at them and then announce “brat” and the look in the person’s eyes is that of one who just tipped too far back in their chair

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remember when hozier did the victorias secret fashion show. scream

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watch until the very end