hachiapologist - Tumblr blog

[hachiapologist]

this was my safe haven last term, but now i just post on a finsta again lol... tell me why i'll randomly come back on here and people r liking my posts from months ago

[hachiapologist]

in theory yes 🤓☝🏽

playing it cool is soooo incredibly stupid

tell people you love them. tell them you miss them or think about them all the time. respond right away. text them first.

people are so cold but being warm feels so good. close interpersonal relationships that hold meaning are one of the best things that this world has to offer. don’t deny yourself from that experience out of pride or fear of rejection.

[hachiapologist]

the stress of being in school is worse than anything else...

[hachiapologist]

me giving all my privileges to people who actually deserve it <3

I would go to therapy if this was the office

prints here

[hachiapologist]

source

[hachiapologist]

thinking about how if i f*il this class i'll have to talk to my parents about my mental health struggles and actually confront my issues and work through them rather than being swallowed by them and letting them take control of the majority of my day... i'm comfortable like this i just want to be left alone.

[hachiapologist]

one thing i've realized is that i stay up so late because i dread the idea of starting a new day. the pressure of having to be present and putting effort into things is overwhelming wnd i hate it. only at night do i feel validated in letting myself spiral and rot.

[hachiapologist]

i feel like i haven't been posting on here as much as i did at the beginning of this term... i'm out of here in a week and a half which is scary. it's almost 2024. then it's almost halfway thru my sophomore year. then it's almost summer. then it's almost junior year and half of college is over. i'm still doing nothing. i still don't care about my future. when will i change? when will things change? i don't want time to continue. i don't have faith in myself. i don't trust others. i don't want to try and fail. let me stop talking and escape back into the world of fiction...

[hachiapologist]

imagining myself in a loving relationship is so funny like i would be bat shit crazy and insane over my partner... (i thrive off validation)

[hachiapologist]

my life rn: buyee packages, scrolling japanese mercari, looking thru old jfashion scans, reading east asian bl comics, and listening to vkei bands... now if i had no responsibilities and still lived at home life would be good

[hachiapologist]

me

Miffy 1955

[hachiapologist]

i need to be banned from buyee so i stop making impulsive purchases

[hachiapologist]

no man will ever make me as happy as tooth rotting fluff in bl

[hachiapologist]

me

[hachiapologist]

baeee (he would call me a slur irl)

[hachiapologist]

how do you live life if you're not constantly searching for new obsessions to fill the hole in your heart aka online shopping & bl (porn) consumption

[hachiapologist]

updated my sister on my life and she said that the way i live is genuinely concering LMFAO