hadesoftheladies - Tumblr blog

[hadesoftheladies]

[hadesoftheladies]

Pretty rich of TRAs to talk about the "neutrality of body parts," when they so actively hate theirs that they undergo invasive surgeries and artificial hormones to get rid of them.

So parts are only "neutral" when it's a fully intact male in spaces where women are going to be vulnerable and naked, then?

[hadesoftheladies]

important to remember that just because you're bi men might try to guilt you into trying sexual things and kink shit and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. There's an idea bisexual women are more promiscuous or more "kinky" or "sexually available" just because our dating pool theoretically is larger. You don't have to have sex that's harmful to you, you don't have to have sex with men at all if you don't want to. You don't have to agree to a threesome or open relationship or kink. You have a right, like all women, to enforce boundaries.

[hadesoftheladies]

“But feminists who organise against pornification are not arguing that sexualised images of women cause moral decay; rather that they perpetuate myths of women's unconditional sexual availability and object status, and thus undermine women's rights to sexual autonomy, physical safety and economic and social equality. The harm done to women is not a moral harm but a political one, and any analysis must be grounded in a critique of the corporate control of our visual landscape.”

—Gail Dines and Julia Long. “Moral Panic? No. We are Resisting the Pornification of Women.” (2011).

[hadesoftheladies]

Feminist linguistic suggestions:

-Stop using misogynistic insults such as “cunt”, “bitch”, or “whore”, even in a neutral or “endearing” way

-Stop using the word “pussy” when describing cowardice and referencing testicles when describing bravery

-Use female-default language

-Don’t refer to yourself or other women as “girls” unless you are specifically talking about children

-Do not tolerate other people using offensive language towards women around you

-Act confused when people call women girls, especially if the context is sexual

-Laugh more at women’s jokes

-Stop lightening your voice to please men

[hadesoftheladies]

I think this sums up the difference between liberal and radical feminism better than anything else

[hadesoftheladies]

Do you ever have a friend complain about you about all the stress and struggles and pain in their life, and then you react appropriately to it, with comfort and reassurance and understanding and acknowledgment. And you're the only person in their life who responded this way, everyone else dismisses them or minimizes their pain or tells them off. And from that point on, you become their 'comfort friend'. They come to you only when they have a problem, when something bad happens, when they're stressed and overwhelmed and need some warmth and comfort to feel okay again.

But they don't share any other aspect of their life with you anymore. They have friends they go out with, they have friends they share their interests with, they have friends for joking around, celebrating, going on field trips and enjoying new media. You're left out of all of that, and only cross their mind once they're feeling bad and want someone to understand and comfort them.

And even if you try to engage with them in a different way, or express interest in doing other things, talk about happy and cheerful topics with them, they can't keep it up, eventually they melt away and go back to venting and seeking comfort, because that's the need they've allocated you to fulfill in their life, and they have other people for all those other needs.

But it doesn't feel good, for anyone, to be a 'comfort friend'. To think that someone only remembers you when things are bad. To know that every conversation will have drama, stress, pain and despair in it, that your role is to soothe that and then to let them go until they need it again. You can't ask them for reciprocation because they already put you in the role of the one who 'takes care', or because they don't react as well as you do to other's despair, they instead dismiss you like their friends dismiss them, because that's what they consider a 'normal' reaction, and they don't see the irony in that. They don't see what you do for them, they take you for granted, and get you to feel bad for them, because they subject you to the worst of their life constantly.

[hadesoftheladies]

This probably sounds like I'm a hater, but being around hyper feminine women has really damaged my self esteem.

I feel bad because they're just women who've fallen victim to the patriarchy. It almost seems dumb and shallow that I want distance from them.

It's just hard when you want to go out with your friends and they spend an hour doing makeup, while you just spent 20 minutes that morning to get all fresh and ready for the day. Or when you go to a restaurant with them, being one of the few without a flat stomach+thigh gap, and you slurp down your big ramen bowl while they say things like "omg this is so much food, I could swim in this bowl, this is almost too much for even two people. Or when you see them take a ton of selfies with the other feminine women in the group and only a few with you, later you see their "girl's night out" post and you're only in one picture. Or when you're exchanging stories about your sex lives and you say that you don't like doing a common sex act and they shame you and say it's something you have to do. Or when you laugh too loud or say something in a confident tone and they all look at you in silence, as if you're weird.

All these things, make me feel like I'm wrong. Like a woman who wasn't programmed right. I've even fallen back into shaving and dieting because I hate feeling so weird.

This year I'm working on returning to my old radfem ways... Even if it means being a bit lonelier

[hadesoftheladies]

“We want women to feel safe”

That’s nice. I want women to be safe.

“We want women to feel listened to”

That’s nice. I want women to be listened to.

“We want women to feel valued”

That’s nice. I want women to be valued.

[hadesoftheladies]

i think its so funny that alumni from schools like harvard and columbia that were there during the protests in the 60s-80s are expressing support for students currently protesting against the genocide in palestine, and random zionists that were NOT at these protests in the 60s-80s have the never ending audacity to tell these alumni "well thats different, what you protested was good and what they're protesting is bad." as if protesters against the vietnam war and apartheid south africa were not also demonized, arrested, brutalized, and even killed for their activism. history only remembers them fondly after the damage has already been done.

[hadesoftheladies]

People have a problem with “hairy, man-hating lesbians” yet no one seems to have a problem with hairy, woman-hating straight guys, why is this

[hadesoftheladies]

Girlhood Is Surveillance

In the imaginations of most men, oppressive policing is done by a military force or officers of a district. Men are deployed, with weapons and uniform, to enforce the will of the state. They use violent means (or the threat of violence) to intimidate. Certain words are banned by the government and uttering them risks being locked up, done away with, killed.

Yet, the most powerful, pervasive, and far-reaching form of surveillance is the reality for most girls.

Oppressed groups typically go through more surveillance than the oppressing class. They are viewed with more suspicion, afforded less allowances, and must work harder to prove themselves worthy of basic rights. The government is aggressively involved. They mandate what schools can teach, what media houses can publish, what public speakers can say.

For girls, surveillance starts before they can walk. This kind of surveillance is an extension of the surveillance her mother endures from her peers. She is dressed appropriately in pink, in bonnets, in frills and baby bows. By the time she is five, she is policed by her closest relatives. She may or may not be allowed to run shirtless like her brothers. Especially when her uncles are there. She must not wear nail polish or she must play with makeup. She must wear tutus and dresses.

This also happens to boys, but in a much different way. The reason I describe girlhood specifically as surveillance is because in a patriarchal, pornified world, the boy's body is neutral, that is, not provocative. Not insulting.

The female body, on the other hand, is semiotically significant. It is a symbol of sex, of desire, of lust (at least as a man experiences it) and thus is wicked, crude, and crass. The girl is surveilled because on the streets, in the home, by anyone who looks at her, who she is is interpreted to be provocative. In other words, her femaleness, naked or evident, is hate speech. Or impolite language. Language that polite society cannot be seen to be having. Her shoulders, knees, hands, thighs, breasts, are pornography.

This is just a fraction of the surveillance of girlhood.

As she grows up, she learns there are ways she must sit, things she must not know, things she must not say, and things she must wear. Her mother (and sometimes father) are the chief police on these things. They watch her, check her before going out, frisk her to make sure the skirt is not rising above her knees, the hijab is in place, etcetera.

On the streets, the girl learns, that she is also being watched by others. Men whistle at her as she walks to primary school. She learns how easy it is to be shamed as a girl. By teachers, strangers on the road, girls in school, boys at the playground. For having hairy legs, a crooked (normal) nose, a bare face, a face that isn't bare, too much height, too big boobs, too small boobs, thin lips or full lips, a flat butt, a butt that shows, etcetera.

She censors her womanhood when it comes. For if her brothers or father see her blood in the toilet, that is her body once again being provocative. Perhaps she becomes aware as a teenager, of the inequality and injustice. If she speaks out, she will be met with a host of police ready to put a stop to it. Her best friend will say, "Some women like looking beautiful. It is not a crime to want to be beautiful. You are judging me." Her mother will say, "Girls libidos don't matter. Sex is not for girls to enjoy, but for men." Her father will say, "Don't worry your pretty little head about things you don't understand." They will all dismiss, all shame, all hush her. They will call her ungrateful, a lesbian (which means social outcast, unnatural, inhuman, wrong), a radical, or a child throwing a tantrum. All of which are threats, whether or not they recognize them as such.

This policing system does not need the use of officers or the military much because the narrative is in society's consciousness. The people will police deviants themselves after the government tells them what the deviants look like and gives them the stakes of noncompliance. This kind of surveillance is also older than the government, if not as old as it is. It's oldness makes it that much more difficult to notice and resist.

The people who love you become the police. They will snitch on you to their peers if you do not conform. Your mother will tell your aunts and grandmother. Your father will joke about you with your brothers. Your sister will tell on you to the popular girls. And these are not the worst kind. Most girls, like every other animal, every other human being, will go the route with the most ease and the best chance at survival.

They will conform. They will cross their legs. Do their hair according to their age. Paint or not paint their nails. Wear the hijab. Wear skirts that go over the knee. Wear the pink. Curl their hair. Smear the lipstick, eyeliner, mascara. Put the powder and glitter on themselves. Wear the heels and stockings. Kiss the boy, etcetera.

And now, because they've been told how closely they're being watched, for their looks, whether their clothes are appropriate or not, whether their mothers are happy or not, whether their brothers feel threatened or disgusted by their pads or their tomboyishness or not, whether they are excelling too much in sports or academia or too little, whether they are smart or not, whether they are fat or not, whether they are acceptable or provocative or not . . . it becomes of paramount importance that they surveil themselves. Because they are in a hypervigilant state. They are in survival mode.

Girls are their own self-police. Harsh on every angle and feature. Because they have been told that people pay special attention to them everywhere they go. And to some degree, this is true. Everyone is easily insulted by femaleness, because femaleness is provocative. Please note, not femininity, femaleness. Femininity is camouflage because it signals conformity. Agreeing with the narrative that insists that the female body is the symbol for sex or motherhood. That the female body is pornography. The women that flaunt their bodies and say, "I am sexy and want you to know it!" are conforming. The women that hide their bodies and duck their heads to show meekness toward their God are conforming. None of them challenge the assertion that the female body is by-default provocative, an invitation to sex, shameful.

Now, surveillance has expanded. You see girls tilting their heads in one direction on their cameras because they believe this is their best side. They all have makeup or makeup filters. That thin their faces and enlarge their eyes. That make their lips a little fuller. They gag themselves and retch up nutrients and food in order to keep themselves safe. Obsessed with beauty and meekness because it is their livelihood. What secures them in society.

And yet . . . does it? Little girls are killed for a little hair showing from beneath their headscarf. Young women are murdered by the men whose advances were rejected. Toddlers are whistled at by grown men on the street. Teenage girls are the sex symbol of the generations in TV shows, movies, music videos. Mothers starve their girls, physically and emotionally abuse their girls, to keep them compliant. Girls have burn marks, scars, wounds from conformity. They have blistered feet and bra lines burned into their ribcage.

The government is not inactive, either. It does not punish femicides. It mandates forced birth. It regulates population by regulating the human female, rather than the male that has been left to run amock. Who starts these pregnancies and is responsible for any statistic for violence in the general population. It ensures that women need men to survive the economy. It ensures that women are successfully sold and bought for the economy. The pimps need their money, after all. And the president needs the pimps. The oligarchs need their workers, too. Workers need mothers to create them and wives to sustain them. Girlhood is the governments business.

A girl will blame herself for how her boyfriend treats her, for being raped. She will then, instead of looking at the world, at the perpetrator, will police herself and other girls around her even more aggressively. Violently.

Surveillance is most powerful when privacy is destroyed and the person made into a data point to be exploited. Girls do not have privacy, for their private parts are taboo discussions in public life. They are offensive discourse and so must be suppressed and regulated.

Girlhood is living under the most extreme and powerful form of surveillance, where everyone is the girl-police, including the girl herself.

[hadesoftheladies]

That white boy is NOT attractive

[hadesoftheladies]

Y’know it’s great people (esp. women) are becoming more critical of the transgender community and the misogynistic, pseudo-scientific bullshit they spew… that being said if you think that every single trans man experiences dysphoria solely because of what it means to be female in our society, and that every trans person can just “opt out” of this feeling by embracing their sex and that their dysphoria will eventually dissolve into thin air somehow… Just know that I don’t agree and you might want to do some more research lol

[hadesoftheladies]

you know, i'd be more willing to consider your point of view if you didn't champion a diaperfur pedophile as your mouthpiece. yeah. it's extremely difficult to take you seriously when you try to change my mind with wall of text comics feat. a pedophile's 8-year-old-girlsona.

[hadesoftheladies]

being an unapologetic misandrist is so freeing I love that I no longer waste energy gaslighting myself into thinking men deserve anything from me. now I get to post stuff like "under my regime all xys would be rounded up & sent to uninhabited islands that used to be penal colonies/gulags in soviet era siberia, armed with nothing but basic items required to start their own community (seeds, fire making tools, etc) & we can take bets on how long it'll take for them to eradicate themselves like their evolutionary equals (the chimpanzees) do when there are no females around". and all the other based women press the heart button & tell me I should be the supreme leader under the NWO or pitch it as a reality show

[hadesoftheladies]

men will say some shit like: haha if we were alone i'd rape you and no one would ever believe you

then when ur rightfully like ??????

theyre like LOOOOL CALM DOWNNN ITS A JOKEEEEEE RELAX LIBERALS ITS CALLED DARK HUMOR