haildixie

[haildixie]

[haildixie]

[haildixie]

pandemic

 how frustrating is it to be caught in this PANDEMIC?

Our “usual’s” are complete replaced with the “new normal” which certainly most likely to be abnormal. Pretty sarcastic it may sound but it is true, a hassle I might add.

Yet all this STRICT  implementations of ordinances long list of  guidelines and protocols to follow  were prescribed PRECAUTION for our own welfare and safety. 

Each and everyone of us our lives were all set  into an emergency HIATUS

a lot of things and situations that are not adding or subtracting up, no one can come up with  the exact sum or difference between all this sudden popup quarantine equations. 

truly, I find it hard to elaborate that  turned out to be lost shuttered words of thoughts--

[haildixie]

2019

In each of the 24 hours within the 365 days of this year, I must say that you and I gambled every card that we had just to be able to ride this one way ticket journey to throughout year 2019.

           It was filled with plenty of unexpected situations with unfortunate expected outcomes.

Let me begin with a crossover of a lifetime to this year, a shady road but here I ‘am at the last day looking at my feet finally in my destination.

I had a lot of “h” that i prefer to label it…

Can you imagine I had huge amount of hesitations in pursing anything and everything? I gave myself a bountiful benefit of the doubt that made me think less of one. There came a point that I felt like I was a walking time-bomb that could explode just with a trigger any minute of a day.

A day in my life when I was served with a “complimentary” gourmet style main course that I never asked for, sarcastically like a “in-house” kinda thing.

Which ideally made me thought of being a tribute from a district to play a sequel of the hunger games. To a point were starvation of oneself to make room for a lot of self-improvement, growth, worth, maturity, stability, excellence, confidence and a space to tons of tough fall backs towards a colorful success and victory.

Those unwanted “heartaches & heartbreaks” that truly ripped this self of mine into pieces. Truly, these were the long silent wars without escape, company and retreat that still hunts me till this very day.

Did I enjoy way too much?

That with a blink of an eye everything was stolen from me just like that. Imagine witnessing Queen Daenarys saying dracarys and everything was burned into flames turned to ashes to dust carried by the whirlwind of time. 

Left with a memory but no longer with the same emotion I remembered it.

Indeed a cliffhanger season finale or more likely another scenario of Peter Van Houten ending a story at the middle of a sentence without a proper ending and indefinite continuation.

That made me came cross path with hatred an undesirable emotion that is a very uneasy feeling yet calmed me in a way that it was shared with tiny bits of joy.

that made me say  ‘’feel free to hate me all you want, if that will make you happy it will be my pleasure dear”

I treasured dearly the most cherishing moments and views to keep, with a very particularly peculiar sentimental values hording photographs that makes me relived memories even without the same person, people, place and emotions I shared it the most.

Yet, above all I brought with me was maximum dose of hopeful spirit, I was so hopeful for many things to happen that I thought it will proceed with a favorable outcome even from a person to situations.

Likely I had a lot of selected favorites, it may not all make its spot but I’m truly beyond grateful to at least met surprisingly blessings in disguise that was exemplary marked His plans for me.

Nevertheless a fair share of genuine happiness knowing that I made it myself beat against all the odds, endured, surpassed and survived all, indeed a bitter sweet victory once again with My Father in Heaven. 

For some of you out there letting go and leaving it all behind bars of 2019. Do so as you wish. But even then some of it will still be living within ourselves till the end of our time.

Here I come.

Into the unknown, 2020.

[haildixie]

'someone once told me to smile always https://www.instagram.com/p/B6AuZz9BSod_OCScSfUy1PwlWddrhyUJLtZJGA0/?igshid=71gakc1t6mx7

[haildixie]

go ahead, read some pages (at Fully Booked ATC) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1getoTBwo0OPlRvA6SNAJXCycAkrVlKSXYlGU0/?igshid=11asfze6bu70w

[haildixie]

- went rogue https://www.instagram.com/p/B0_AqaxB1ShpyZdrR7bvPhOCiDg6GzUPmXmmnM0/?igshid=1j6298s1pbkqo

[haildixie]

Saan na nga ba ako magsisimula? UY! RRT NA AKO! May add ons na sa dulo ng aking pangalan lalo ng humaba. Like how long the duration ng journey to achieved this. Tulad ng pagsulat ko nalang ng pangalan ko Dixie Rizaline Forastersos Maturan ang haba diba? Imagine a 2 years old me, way back when I started my nursery at Jabez Christian School it was a struggle mag sulat ng name ko for multiple times that I always needed a guide. Years in my gradeschool was me being so easy go lucky I was that student na tamad mag sulat and come a point na may classmate akong taga sulat ko funny but it is true! A twist happened around my 6th grade I told myself "I want to graduate and gusto ko mag highschool". I turned tables around and I made it. Highschool years, was so amazing I'm no longer that tamad mag sulat but rather na marte na mag sulat more importantly I've met people whom I treasure the most till this very moment! Salamat sa inyo. Picking my course in college was like a 1 2 3 4 or an A B C D decision. Supposedly I'll be taking up Physical Therapy doe five years and palda and unif. Then it went to Medtech nalang doe closed na. I told my Mama and she said "Mag Radtech ka nalang" realquick nag process na lahat. My timeline in HSI with CMRT now CMIT was a lot to cover. I had a lot of best views & experiences in here that is one of a hundred things for sure. From intro to rad (11 sets of exams), technique (w/ our first radiographs), posi I & II (w/ our scrubs, ct&mri, nucmed (w/ moodles), thesis till case study and many more. Salamat po sa inyo! Internship days was for sure the closest to my heart. Nauna na yong drama ko parents ko na akala ko huli na ako for internship pero God made it happend I was so grateful to be part and be trained ng Pagamutan ng Dasmariñas and ng University of the Philippines-Philippine General Hospital to our training officers. Salamat po! To my college friends salamat I'm grateful kay Lord na nakilala ko kayo. I will not survived college with you all. HIGIT SA LAHAT MAMA & PAPA LISENSYADO NA AKO AT 19 YEARS OLD HAHAHA NATUPAD KO ANG PANGARAP KO, NATIN😭🙌 Humble me Lord, I will dream more with You! I lift this victory to You💗 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0sKq4kB81fNTGi9dMNP6a8vm6Ale62StGUMGk0/?igshid=76io7d0zoqq1

[haildixie]

Hardwork and Excellence! "never stop dreaming for yourself" Thank you Lord! #clinicalgraduation #UP-PGH #BATCH39 (at Philippine General Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxzyE7PBuSfK9nh_FBcL8MVRnu6bP9qBmTxf180/?igshid=5p97niniibrh

[haildixie]

Lord I surrender. May Your will be done. Use this pain for Your purpose.

[haildixie]

I just wanna see how beautiful you are🌅 (at Baywalk) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuWJiMejp3S-ZyGYZYhP3EE9SC79ADfTDMhXr40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=y158u4tf0evm

[haildixie]

[haildixie]

Three Hundred Sixty-five Colorful days of 2018

Reaching up to the 31st day of December was more like a sweet taste combination of my success, breakthrough and overcomings.

Movin' back a bit, 2018 exposed me from allowable expectations to expect.

I went to every position in every possible projections each day of the year.

Colorful year as I defined, from the darkest to its lightest shades painted all into my body. Captured my life best angles & views till the worst ones.

Those variable shades taught be to became a stronger & improved version of myself and been able to step out beyond my comfort zones.

I also found a particular resolution of courage this 2018 that I truly earned. I believed more in love for oneself and to others.

My heart was amazed and grateful for everything God put me through. Together, we build a strong teamwork.

As I move forward to 2019 a crossover of once in a lifetime. I hereby welcome you. 2018 equiped me for your arrival. Yet nevertheless, I surrender and lift my days to our Almighty God. Let Him spin the rollers of life until I reach the develop masterpiece of myself.

Happy New Year!

[haildixie]

Like or reblog if you save, sweetheart x

[haildixie]

in the sea of strangers- https://www.instagram.com/p/BpeSB4UBrzrwbG-XxITY7atdRAbQWs4CepH6_E0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qopzaoqxm9gl

[haildixie]

I hope someday, someone will steal a whole orchestra for me to keep.

Dear

Robin,

Yes, it was like an old movie where the sailor sees the girl across that crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "see that girl? I'm gonna marry her someday." All of a sudden, it felt like, I just found everything I've been looking for all my life through. Sounds cheesy, huh?

No doubt, I made an complete idiot out of myself by saying that i love you on our very first date. I really freaked you out, didn't I? But you see, Robin, you can't blame me for that. I mean, how can one not fall in love with you? Even, Barney Stinson did. The king of one night stands, the biggest womanizer of all time, is in love, can you imagine?

By the way, happy that you and my best bro are engaged now. But you know what, some deep dark parts of me still wanna hear, "Ted, I'm not supposed to be with Barney, I should be marrying you." Kidding, I don't wanna hear that. I'm sure that you and Barney are gonna make a great couple. Even greater than Marshall and lily. Hey, don't tell them that I said that.

Yes, Barney lies a lot. And I know that you don't like that. But underneath all of those lies is one true thing - one true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world and that's the fact that the guy's in love with you. Robin scherbatsky, you are one lucky girl to get my best bro as your life partner.

And here's your wedding gift from me, a promise. A promise to be by your side through every thick or thin. No matter, how difficult the odds turn out to be, I will do everything to find out all your lost pendants. I'll make it rain for you, over and over again. I'll do anything to make you smile on days when you feel down. Because, I care about you Robin, beyond all rationality and I just want you to have everything you want no matter how much it destroys me.

You know what? Victoria was right. This is why I can't find THE ONE. Because I'm already with her; just not together. Yes it's you Robin, it's always been you. I'll never stop loving you. And who knows, may be somewhere down the road, we're gonna end up together. Oh c'mon Ted! How stupid of you to even think about that. I really need an intervention to stop being a hopeless romantic, don't I?

PS: Wish you and Barney a very happy married life

PPS: Hope this letter never finds you.

Love,

The guy,

Who would've stolen you a whole orchestra

(c) Koyel Roy Chowdhury, fanpost

#HIYM #REPOST

[haildixie]

Having no idea what the next year holds but trusting God, his plans and promises. Everything is going to be ok.