haipain

[haipain]

DARLING! YOU’RE BACK! HOW ARE YOU 💖💖💖

bABYYY 💓 i'm okay! at least i'm still getting by each day, taking it slow haha how are you? i hope everything has been going good for you! 💫

[haipain]

angry kiss with fem s/o and iwaizumi, no au owo

“Hajime,” she calls, eyes glued to the back of the man rushing about pointlessly in the kitchen. A low hum resounds, and a nonchalant response followed.

“Yes?”

“That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

He hears the familiar wrinkling of the couch, and then soft, padded footsteps, before a whiff of her scent reaches his nose. It slowly seeped into his skin, causing him to freeze in place. Still, he forced himself to continue with the task at hand. 

But it wasn’t long before he was stopped again. A hand tugs at his shirt, the owner circling her arms around his waist, leaning her forehead against his back. She gently blew out a breath, and Iwaizumi could feel her shoulders sagging as she sighed. 

“This… us, everything. It has run its course, hasn’t it?”

He knows, of course he knows what she’s talking about. He knows and yet, he can’t help but deny, because denying it would bring a sense of normalcy. If it wasn’t acknowledged, then it did not exist. 

“I don’t understa-”

“I mean us,” she interrupts, the arms around his waist tightening itself slightly. Her voice trembles a little, and she blows out another breath. “Our relationship. We can’t… do this anymore.”

Iwaizumi repressed the urge to laugh. Who would’ve known that the honesty he fell in love with, was the same honesty he dreaded facing now — it had cornered him, and there was no way he could continue his denial of the current issue at hand. At this point, it was probably a lot healthier to let go of this and let both parties heal, and yet… he didn’t want to do that.

It was probably his conscience nagging at him — he still wanted to try to paper over the cracks. Losing something close to your heart is terrifying, and he wasn’t ready for it. Especially since he hadn’t tried anything to fix things, in hopes that it would somehow miraculously smoothen over, though he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

“I no longer have the same position I used to hold in your heart; someone else has taken over… and you too, you know that very clearly, don’t you?”

Iwaizumi remains silent, his teeth snatching the plump bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut.

Silence reigns over the two for a short moment, before she breaks it again. 

“This may be selfish of me, but can you allow me one last request?”

Iwaizumi wants to say no, he wants to stop her and appease her, returning everything back to how it was before he flew off to pursue his dreams. To a certain extent, he feels responsible for how things turned out. And so, he doesn’t. Instead, he nods mutely, fixing his gaze on her figure that seemed to be shrinking. 

“Then, thank you.”

Without warning, she pulls his head down, firmly planting her lips against his. A tentative lick at first, but then all restrain was quickly thrown out of the window, and she threads her hands into his hair, tugging on it tightly. 

Her emotions were clear as day, and all Iwaizumi could feel was a hollow feeling of sadness rising in his heart as he reciprocated, kissing her with equal fervour. For a time, they continued, and it looked as though they were both trying to suck the life out of one another in a fit of anger; he was angry at how things turned out and at himself, while she… she was angry at him. 

She pulls away, and finally, the first drop of tear mars her face, her lips twisting into a pained smile. The anger and frustration had broken free in that kiss, so had the accumulated sadness, infused deeply in her words.

“Do you know how painful it is to continue loving someone that has fallen out of love with you?”

Her words struck Iwaizumi in the heart; he had no way of retorting that comment, she knew it, and so did he — it was the truth, but… it wasn’t complete. 

“I… I’m sorry,” he pushes out, his fingers gently stroking her cheek, causing her cheeks to be stained with more tears as her eyes slid shut. 

“But there’s something you’re mistaken about. Nobody has taken my place,” his voice quivers slightly, resting his forehead gently against hers.

“I just can’t continue loving someone who has fallen out of love with herself.”

haha, sike! how should i even start… ahem hello, here’s a short update that i’m putting out because there’s a random burst of inspiration! though i’m literally typing away here at 2am, but hey, better than nothing… (which has been the case for the past few months oof) it’s pretty bad and short sjidfn ik, but i’m trying to regain my already rusty writing skills, so it’ll (hopefully) improve as i continue!

i never expected to be gone for such an extended period of time, and i’m really sorry to say, but it doesn’t seem like i’ll be updating regularly anytime soon! i’ll be updating as and when i feel the urge to write, and the simple reason is because if i choose to set a schedule for updating, i end up frustrating myself really easily, and that discourages me from writing at all, + the pieces that i end up writing will be really bad, because my writing tends to reflect my emotions..

besides, the idea of letting people down on this blog just adds to pressure that i’m already experiencing in my life, so that’s not really good for my mental health. 

therefore, it’d be better for me not to give you guys any hope, because then i won’t be crashing any of it, and this can be a really free and easy kinda thing for you and me both yay

there might be some changes to this blog too (since i have fluctuating interests) but it’s still unconfirmed!

as always, thank you for sticking by! (we have close to 700 on this blog rn, i! am! absolutely! blown! away! thanks for enjoying these mediocre pieces that i put out!!)

[haipain]

You, my friend, deserve a break. I'm still catching up to everything you've written so far. Go take a hiatus or hibernation, watchamacallit. I'd rather have you take a break than see you force yourself to write. Sending you good vibes and virtual hugs~~

my guy, i can’t thank you enough for your words. your good vibes and virtual hugs has been received and is hella well appreciated, seriously, here’s me sending you some virtual hugs too because you deserve it for being such a good bean. 

i’ll hibernate til i’m ready to come out a new woman, thank you for being so understanding!

[haipain]

things havent exactly been the best for me either so im here to give u a lil uwu message to keep on striving !!!! lets go through this together 💓💓

thank you nia, here’s an uwu for you too, i hope everything improves for you soon!

[haipain]

i hate how life is treating you right now. i would gladly help you if i were beside you. don’t worry about taking a hiatus!! also don’t forget to prioritise your physical health as well as your mental health. i will miss you 💗💕

it’s a wonder that you guys are still so kind to me despite my consistent disappearance because of my life. i’m truly grateful, anon, and i hope this phase will pass soon. your ask alone is more than enough, i really appreciate it, and it helps more than you think it does :) 

thank you for being so understanding. i’ll do my best to take care of myself, and i hope you do so too, because you are precious. i’ll definitely miss you too, and i hope to return soon in terms of writing, but i’m still open to chat if you’d like aha

[haipain]

Aww don’t worry about it! Please watch over yourself, your health, and your life. I hope things start lightening up for you, because you and your well-being are just so important 😊 I’m going through a somewhat similar feeling of wanting to give content but at the same time not being able to bring myself to write something out so don’t beat yourself up over it. It happens. Though I must say, it really is great to hear from you again even if it is a hiatus letter 😊 May you have an amazing day!💕

sometimes (actually most of the time aha) i envy your optimism, i just wish i can view myself in a better light and think more positively rather than constantly shooting myself down, which i think is why things aren’t going so swell with my life now aha 

but thank you!! i hope things start working out soon, and that wretched writers’ block leaves you, because your creations are beautiful :) your asks always makes me feel comforted, i should say that it’s great for me to hear from you! and i hope you have an amazing day too love!

[haipain]

take care of yourself 💖

is this who i think it is? if so, thank you 💓 even if it isn't, i still thank you for caring :)

[haipain]

Also, question (I really am just curious): Is your blog still categorised as an angst writing blog or are you going to be taking in any kind of requests now?

*sweats* well initially i wanted to focus this blog on angst bc well, i love writing it + it was a way to vent, but now in my inbox, there are some fluff?¿ requests, which i’m fine with doing!

tho i kinda wanna keep this blog angst centric, so i think i might focus on allowing more angsty asks when the ask box reopens someday! so to answer your qns, i wish to keep it angst centric, but i’m perfectly a-okay with accepting other requests apart from angst! (wow my answer is actl kinda redundant UHHH but yeah!) 👍

[haipain]

Can I run to hug you even without the cure? 😂😭 I usually sit or lie down thinking of what to write but recently after reading that request I just stare into space and nothing at all is happening in my head (and fluff-inspiring s/o will come around in the future but I’m sure not right now) 😭 I’m glad your day was good 😊 Improvement is always good, so keep it up and rest your body now, your pain is proof of your hard work, good job ☺️💕

of course!! my arms r wide open and ready to hug 💕 cure or not, i still wanna hug u so *hugs* and gosh, sometimes things like that happen! like you wait and wait and just stare but it. just. doesn’t. pop. into. your. head. which can be super annoying and frustrating sometimes! but i think that’s the cue to maybe let loose a little and distract yourself instead of trying to push ideas into your head bc that might backfire! :)

and your fluff inspiring s/o irl better be someone worthy of u when they come around!! or i’ll go after them 😤 and thankuu!! somehow getting reassurance for my hard work, even though not writing related, makes me feel all warm and fluffy ≥﹏≤ i hope your day went great too! honestly, just surviving the day is a feat to me, so no matter how things went today, good job to you too!💪

[haipain]

gemini 🍭 a cool gemini

ooo that’s right!! u r cool 👌

[haipain]

libras are my favourite signs too 😉 they look like goddesses, really. that's cool that you're a scorpio! thanks for answering that question ☺️

ah we have the same fav signs 😁 right?? they’re rather ethereal and beautiful!! and thanks! now i’m curious, would you mind telling me your zodiac sign? ^.^ also, it’s no problem! i’m always happy to chat hehe

[haipain]

just very very curious : what's your favorite zodiac sign?

why hello very very curious anon! ≥﹏≤ tbh i don’t really have a fav zodiac sign because i don’t really pay much attention to that, but i guess i’d go with libra (i’ve always found it really pretty idk)

as far as the characteristic of zodiac signs tho,,, i don’t know much about this so i can’t say, but scorpios seem like a pretty fun bunch😉 (ahem not me HAHA but my other friends)

[haipain]

Hey, honestly, it really is a thing for writers to get a slump, I wish there was some magic pill to get out of it. 🤔 If ever I think I might’ve found the solution I’ll run to you 😂 And, hey, my day went great! I was able to watch a junior musical today and I had fun :> I’m not in a love mood rn, but I’m trying to listen to like sweet love duets because the next on my to do list is fluff and I’m like “my brain is not wired for this yet” 🙃 How was your day? ☺️

slumps hit me in the worst possible moments, and they aren’t kind to me in the least ≥﹏≤ i get this feeling of wanting to write and itching to write, then when i’m in front of the screen, POOF, it all disappears… what on earth??? 😭 i’ll gladly take the solution and u in my arms bc you deserve such a tight hug for being so sweet 💓

aH that’s great to hear!! i haven’t been to musicals before, but i’d imagine that they are pretty engaging and fun 👌 sweet! music tends to influence writing, so maybe love duets will do the trick!! (better yet, maybe even someone irl? winkwink HAHA) but fluff never seems to be my friend, that’s alright tho, i hope it becomes yours wheee≧∇≦ my day went okay!! but i’ve realised a couple of issues with myself so i’m trying to work on them + i injured my legs because of overexercise sooo yeah, no running for me for the next few days 😩

[haipain]

Ohmygosh congrats on 400 followers!!! It was only awhile ago that you got 100 and now you have 400? Amazing! ✨ You deserve it and so so much more!! Super excited about your upcoming work, but don’t let that pressure you!! Take as much time as you need ☺️ And I agree, it really is so much fun to chat in this community, everyone in the writing community is so sweet I love it 💕 Sending more hugs and hearts to you too! Take care! ☺️💕❣️💞💓💖💝

AAAA thank you??? this is so cute, i’m so sorry for only seeing this now!! :( i LOVE YOUUUU i wanna pour all my love and support in a bucket and send it to the you!! i feel bad for announcing that i’ve hit a bump with writing requests, so that upcoming work has unfortunately been sitting there just like that… @ this rate i’m reaaally gonna take as much time as i need which isn’t good because is not definitive…GAH feelsbad 😞

but yes!! i love the writing community hella much too, it’s such a cute and fluffy community i love with all my heart! i’m gonna ship all my hugs to you, take care sweetheart, i hope your day went amazing 💖

[haipain]

T_T

sooo i’ve hit a tiny bump in writing (this is terrible wtheck) but i don’t really have much inspiration to write the requests sitting in the inbox, which i totally should be doing! i really hope the inspiration for them comes back soon, because i wanna write for you guys but my current brain just! isn’t! working! with! me!

so instead, i’ve gone to create an ao3 account to post non request writings! so if you’d like to read some stuff i’ve been up to while trying to work around this writers’ block, you can head over there to take a look! i do have ideas for writing a new fic which i’ve just posted the first chapter! (ireallyhopeyouguysdokindaenjoythesethingsiworkonwhilei’mnotdoingrequestsbcifeelsobadbutyeaaaaaa)

here’s the link!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377208

edit: i forgot to mention that tumblr is still gonna be where i post most of my stuff, i just didn't want to clog this blog up with my own ideas for scenarios for both hq and bnha!!

[haipain]

it's a tag meme ?

got tagged by multiple people, @kie-yuku @atsvmus @writinghq thanks for tagging me ≥﹏≤ i'm a pretty boring person but here goes!!

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 followers you want to know better!

Age: somewhere between 15 to 18 (highkey have an irrational fear that my irl friends will find this blog so soz guys)

Birthplace: Singapore!

Current time: 23:19

Drink you last had: water

Easiest person to talk to: my best friend! tho it's pretty hard to catch her nowadays, we aren't in the same school sigh

Grossest memory: i was told that as a child, i mistook a dead cockroach for some candy?? and tried to eat it?? (who knows if i've succeeded but let's not think about that) my brother's story w his own shit is pretty funny but super gross too 😹

Hogwarts house: i actually have no clue

In love: w mafumafu and a bunch of 2D characters

Jealous of people: who are super social and able to be comfortable in social situations bc i hella c a n ' t

Killed someone: wouldn't you like to know?👀 i'm a law abiding citizen y'all ahaha course' not!

Love at first sight or walk by again: nAH i don't believe in love at first sight, it's mostly likely physical attraction (also me: embarrassment @ first sight bc i'm boohoo a fool that embarrasses herself very frequently)

Middle name: none

Number of siblings: 1

One wish: mmmm i guess to be happier and filled with more life??

Person you called last: my mum

Questions you are asked most: "how tall are you?"

Song you last sung: Punishment game by mafumafu

Time you woke: 6:25

Underwear colour: 😶 take a guess LMAO

Vacation destination: Japan or Korea

Worst habit: not making eye contact with people i talk to or making too much eye contact with people i talk to, there's no inbetween

X-rays: when i fell and fractured my wrist and then someone ran it over a long time ago

Your favourite food: ok this might sound weird but,,, anything chewy. literally, savory or sweet, if it's chewy, i'm instantly in love (like mochi, tteokbokki, udon, dango, macaroons etc.)

i'll be tagging @shoutos-fringe @bokunoheroes-stories @hqimaginess @aaaghkaashi and uhhh i'm pretty bare in the friends department + i don't wanna tag those who have already done it so yeah!! :) (also don't feel pressured to do it! it's up to you ~ oh and if you've done it alr, i'm sorry! i'm abit of a scatterbrain ahaha)

[haipain]

small sneak peek-ish bc ik i've been posting tons of non-writing related stuff lately, so here's a peek on smth i'm working on :)

ALSO, i'm absolutely loving (super happy and stoked TBH) about the interactions with everyone on this blog, thankuu thankuu thankuu!!😭 ilu all, and i'm always open to chatting about the most random, and weirdest stuff, literally anything basically ahahah 💜

another thing, we've hit 400 followers *massive sobbing bc i hella do not deserve this BUT* i'm thinking of doing a quick ship event next weekend! i'm wondering if y'all will be interested?👀 aaand that's it! here's some hugs/hearts for all of you <333