hallucidump

[hallucidump]

Trauma dump post yes I created this blog just to make this post yes I'm aware that that makes no sense. I am petty, and I have auditory hallucinations. Hilariously my hallucinations taunt me about my old Tumblr account where I talked about surviving SA and having a mental illness. Bc of the many similarities between DID and Schizoaffective-disorder I misdiagnosed and was diagnosed with the latter. They call me a liar and say that I posted this for attention and for people to feel sorry for me but we all no nobody really cares about mental health all this to say:

I am only posting this because they are working my nerves and I can't fight them, as they are not actually people. Instead I'm going to be petty and trauma dump, then come back to this post, which I know will have minimal if not zero interaction, and show them that, what I was saying about how unlikely it is for anyone to see those posts as my following was tiny and used no tags, is true.

Also they think they've shamed me into not talking about SA or mental health so im going to list a bunch of things they've tainted me about then go.

I was molested at 5-10 by a man named charles.

I was abused by my father.

My mother is also mentally ill and that effected my life growing up.

I was raped my an ex in highschool, he was my bf at the time. I did tell him to stop and he did not stop. He was fully aware that I didn't want him to do that.

I was raped again at 19. I confronted this guy about it afterwards, after he tricked me into showing up at his mothers shop, (used his mom's account) and he did admit to and apologize for it. It's still a heavy fuck you, he released nudes of me and pretended it wasn't him. I guess he can admit to raping me but putting me on the internet was the step too far? Maybe bc I didn't physically witness him doing it he thought he could lie.

My dr wrote "symptoms of ptsd" in my notes but I wasnt diagnosed with that. I did have severe flashbacks at some point but I was forced to work through them as my voices constantly triggered them purposely and accused me of trying to make them feel sorry for me as it happened.

Also, I am asexual and trying to see if I am also aromantic or if my aversion to dating is trauma induced.

I think that's it.

Petty of rational I guess.