hand0tiger

[hand0tiger]

I am so tired because loving you like this is exhausting.

-someone to invested to let go

[hand0tiger]

I feel so silly when I realize that normal people have interests and express those interests. It's amazing to see how people hoard pictures and figurings of the things they like. That they become so inspired that they can only express their admiration through donning the form of those they admire.

And yet, I have no interest in things.

But here I am, donning your form, because I am inspired by you.

Silly muses, who are so deep in the addiction that you forget yourself. Yet all I see is you and your admiration. Your inspired state of being is what inspires me most.

[hand0tiger]

I hope someday I can be loved again.

Someday soon because I need it. I am tired and I ache all over. I hurt in ways I don't understand well, and all I yearn for is your embrace.

A shoulder to cry on and warmth to hold me close.

[hand0tiger]

God damn I am in love with her. I am in love with the way she looks at the sky. I am in love with her. In love with my absent minded muse.

- Syg, Idle Thoughts

[hand0tiger]

You broke me, and oh! I wonder. I wonder when your next touch will come.

-Ht, Idle Thoughts

[hand0tiger]

You called me a monster cus I dared fight for you

Ht

[hand0tiger]

Sometimes I get so mad when I realize I can't draw. I have all these ideas but I can't draw. All I've got is words and they aren't enough.

[hand0tiger]

I just realized, if he ever reads these somehow. He will see just how much I really think about him. I wonder how he'd feel about that. Perhaps at ease, because it means I remember him.

[hand0tiger]

It's strange having a past life when you're supposed to be living in this one.

I'm sorry I am still forgetting you're not my best friend. That the people I turn to are no longer here. It's strange mistaking your name with his so often.

And forgetting where I'm at in the middle of the night. Forgetting that you died a long time ago. Forgetting that when I wake, you don't exist.

[hand0tiger]

I often give myself the hope of love. I tell myself that I deserve more.

I lie to myself. "Soon" I say, and this soft little lie keeps me going.

[hand0tiger]

I often feel like I've lost you, but I still find you next to me. I feel caught in this tantalizing space, a limbo between closure and forgetting you.

[hand0tiger]

This whole time you had been in love with someone else. And I have been the fool who loved you instead.

[hand0tiger]

Tomorrow is your birthday. I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know how to treat it. I miss you, not as much as I used to, but I miss you nonetheless.

I wonder what you would like me to do. To honor you, to honor us, and what we meant.

[hand0tiger]

"Fall in love with artists" I say. But I'm a writer, I can only see the beauty and speak it's truths, but you can't see what I want to show you. My hands don't work that way.

And in this sadly ironic way. Nobody falls in love with me.

[hand0tiger]

Being in love with you has been like being exhausted yet unable to sleep.

[hand0tiger]

People have begun to ship things way to romantically. We have become hopeless romantics and yet we do not know how to form friendships anymore due to this oversight.

[hand0tiger]

I held you in my heart for so long it feels as if it's not mine anymore.