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[happilybawling]

facts, ladies & gentlemen

[happilybawling]

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear so immediately that the two of you, on some level, belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you’re in love or creating things together or foxhole buddies or partners in crime. It’s so clear, right off the bat, that this is what you’re supposed to be doing, that this is what you’re for. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest of circumstances, and they help you make a life. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but. It definitely makes me believe in something.

[happilybawling]

i love the part of growth that allows you to look back on a previous period of your life and recognize that parts of it were unhealthy. something that felt so normal wasn’t in hindsight. you’re not supposed to feel that tired all the time. you’re not supposed to be treated like that.

[happilybawling]

PSA: YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, ALWAYS

[happilybawling]

A major part of manifesting is believing you’re worthy of what you’re asking for

[happilybawling]

some very important life reminders to help you through your days:

“i’m taking up too much space.”

this is hard to get into your head, because it can feel like no one wants you around. you are not a waste of space and you are not taking up too much space. you are a person, and people know that. we are so focused on ourselves in different ways. for you, you might worry you’re annoying people with your presence. but for them, they don’t think much of it because they know you’re a person who will take up as much space as needed.

“crying is a weakness.”

some kids are raised to think it’s not okay to cry. which is crazy because it’s a normal bodily thing to release emotions. don’t feel bad for crying. do it. cry. let it out. no one has a right to judge your feelings or your tears. we all have those days that are overwhelming and call for a good cry.

“i’ll never be enough.”

you will always be enough for the right people. you will always be enough in general but some people won’t appreciate that and that’s on them. you are you. you are you doing your best. don’t let anyone, and i mean anyone, take that away from you.

“my friends treat me like a therapist and i need boundaries.”

it feels great to be trusted enough that your friends confide in you, but it’s okay to be honest with them when they’re asking for too much. you can’t replace a professional who is trained to help with mental illness and shouldn’t be held to that expectation. let them know that you have to take care of yourself too.

“i always drive people away.”

people will come and go no matter how much we want them to stay. sometimes they’re not the right people for you, especially if they make you feel like it’s always your fault. if being yourself drives them away, you dodged a bullet. but it’s okay if it takes you time to come to terms with that. it’s easy to blame yourself for people not staying, but try to slowly learn not to.

“i don’t know how to live with myself.”

learning to live happily with yourself takes so much time and patience. start with a little time. get to know yourself apart from other people. understand it will be frustrating. do things for yourself you normally wouldn’t think you deserve. the time will come when you realize it’s not so bad.

“i need help but feel like a burden for asking.”

everyone needs help sometimes. that does not make you a burden. it does not make you weak. the people who love you are more than willing to help especially if it means you don’t drown in the things you have to handle. reach out. don’t fear coming off as annoying. people can be more understanding than we think.

“i’ve been told i have an annoying personality.”

first i want to say you do not need to change yourself to make other people like you. their perception of you is theirs and it doesn’t define you. the opinions you should actually listen to will come from those who know you and love you because they know you.

“if someone doesn’t like me back i feel like it’s my fault or there’s something wrong with me.”

we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. and we can’t choose who we like. there’s nothing wrong with you, and how they feel about you is out of your control. it’s out of their control. you deserve someone who accepts you as you are. you deserve to know that there are people out there who will fall in love with you as you are. rejection, unfortunately, will happen a lot in life. it’s not your fault. it’s a part of being a person with your own personality.

“i do everything wrong.”

everyone makes mistakes but they don’t define us. it may feel like you’re always messing up, but what it really means if that you’re learning and growing. you do a lot of things right that you don’t think outweigh what you do “wrong”. but you’ll do good things and make mistakes too. the presence of one does not mean the absence of the other.

“i feel useless if i’m not helping my friends.”

we all play a part in other people’s lives, but the most important part is the one you play in your own life. your value does not equate to how much you do for others. it’s wonderful you can be the kind of friend they rely on but you can’t realistically put all the pressure on being only that friend. i’m sure your friends will love you no matter how you contribute to their lives.

[happilybawling]

[happilybawling]

(Credit: unknown)

[happilybawling]

Just a reminder to those who needs it: You got this, you really do. 🌸

[happilybawling]

• first blog •

social media is getting really toxic these days. i thought of gradually detaching from it but i feel like i need something to pour my attention to apart from work and school. so here it is! maybe going back to writing will make me redeem my 16-year old happy self. hopefully...

#firstblog