happy-hints

[happy-hints]

Emotional Reactions vs. Purposeful Actions

Reacting with strong emotions is something most people experience at some point in their lives and some more than others; we become triggered by conflict and criticism.  We witness others who go through things with often seemingly far worse circumstances than our own, yet managed to be calm & often happy in the midst of their storm. Exploring what makes the difference in these people, may cause one to wonder what super-power enabled them & gave them their purpose and fortitude. How can we discover & put to work this same attribute every day in our own lives? 

Some have expressed that our own temperaments or personalities determine how we react to a given situation. One might say, “I feel strongly about some things and can be very intense at times” and use this to justify becoming angry or critical toward another.  Another might  say “I am a sensitive person” and use that as an excuse to feel highly offended and have a pity party. 

Whatever triggers us does NOT have to be the driving factor to kick us out of our “happy place” in life.  None of us probably desire to waste our energies, or to allow stress and angst to overcome us so that our emotional responses determine the outcomes of our frustrated times in life. Continuing to react out of pain or from the quiet anger boiling under the surface, we can have the appearance that we are being patient.  The underlining truth may reveal an inward, emotional tug-of-war that erodes our livelihood. This “reactive” tenancy can weaken us and draw us to a place of living in the roll of a “victim”; draining life & energy from not only ourselves, but from those we love the most. 

It has been said that our world is made up of only 10% of what actually happens to us (external), and the other 90% of our lives comes from how we interpret those life experiences (internal) . If we continue to interpret things from that place of emotional reactivity, we may very well feel more and more powerless, and frustrated with life in general over time.

I believe it is important to reflect on what has influence over our thought processes and that this can be the beginning of a journey that can lead us to more and more contentment, increased feelings of purpose and power regardless of what our circumstances are.

I would like to challenge us to consider a change.  The next time when we are triggered and feel ourselves giving in to the reactive nature of our emotions, STOP and continue with the following three steps:

1. BREATHE

Breathe, count or do whatever it takes to halt the progress of the intense emotions that have been triggered. Deep breathing can lower your blood pressure & heart-rate within a couple of seconds. It can help slow down restless, reactive thoughts and our fight-or-flight reflexes can start to deescalate. This can be the first step in helping us to respond more reasonably and responsibly when we feel triggered. It gives us a chance to pause, and then choose how we respond, rather than jumping straight from the triggering incident into a place of reactive, emotional response. 

2. THINK AND ASK YOURSELF SOME QUESTIONS 

When we find ourselves emotionally triggered by a conflict or criticism, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” or, “Who do they thing they are?” We could use a different line of thought with questions like these:

*What is the underlining cause of my feelings here? 

*Is what just happened the true source of where my feelings are coming from, or are my feelings a reaction to past repeated trauma, pain and hurt that I may unknowingly be carrying around deep inside of me? 

*Are my feelings and temptation to respond back in reactive fashion truly and directly relevant to what has just occurred when I was triggered? 

*What can I learn from this? 

*What will happen if I cause myself to smile in this moment?” 

Asking questions like these, praying, and inviting Holy Spirit to guide us, it can change our focus and bring more clarity to any circumstances we face in life. 

... But what if we can’t slow down enough to breathe, let alone ask ourselves these questions? 

WRISTBAND

I would like to suggest a wristband, necklace, or something you can physically touch as a reminder to STOP the reactive process. This intentional action can provide time needed to change our reaction into purposeful action and recovery. Combined with prayer, we can be empowered with chain-breaking faith and be reminded that nothing is impossible! 

This is the beginning of my own journey of exploring ways to reduce stress and managing anxiety. Recognizing that defusing negative thoughts can seem as impossible as taming a dragon by grabbing a hold of it’s tail, we are turning our emotional reactions into purposeful actions. 

As we walk together on this journey, may God’s love and grace guide you into all truth. 

~ Rebecca Hintz ~ 

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                                                   *HAPPY HINTS*

“Of this our true individual life is a glimpse, a fragment, a hint, and in its best moment a visible beginning.” ~Josiah Royce 

“We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ,” 

 2Corin.10:5 AMP