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[haram-terf]

I started reading the book ‘Killer Dads’ by Mary Papenfuss, and I was going to write a review on it, but I’m instead going to pick over one single chapter because it enrages me. The book studies and analyses the behaviour of fathers who murder their own children, their step-kids, and sometimes annihilate their entire family following a suicide, and it was trying to figure out whether this has a biological drive behind it, in what situations is it most likely to happen, and why is it currently on the rise.

The first chapter goes over a case where a man kills his step daughter, for ‘chewing on her shirt’ when he told her not to, he surrounded himself to the police, and spends the rest of his time in jail. He was interviewed in jail, and we can see the entire situation from his point of view; this is what enraged me. Quoting reasons for which he killed a 5 year old child, he says ‘My wife was the one going to her job early, so I was stuck waking up the children and sending them to school, I felt this was unfair and I was taken advantage of, and my wife did not appreciate me.’ also, he mentions arguing with his wife, his wife not approving of how hard he was ‘spanking’ beating the kids, and in the end, blaming all of it on the little step-daughter who happened to be chewing on her shirt that day.

Even though everyone claimed he was a ‘calm, nice guy’, the truth of the situation was that he acted violently upon that specific child before, he pinned her down, slapped her, split her lip, raged at her, terrified her, went above and beyond to control the little girl, who had a lot of spirit, empathy and joy. He was not acting that way towards his biological children. The book goes to uncover that step-children are in almost 100% more danger statistically to be murdered by their step parent - and by this, they’re meaning the step father, since most of the children from a broken marriage stay with the mother.

The book compares this to behaviour of animals, more specifically apes, who routinely murder all of the young of a tribe when taking control over it, to make sure the females in the tribe will be ready to mate sooner, and to not have to spend any resources raising the children who are not their biological descendants. This was described as their ‘reproductive strategy’. The females in the tribe were doing all they could to protect their young, sometimes taking multiple partners so they would be unable to guess who is the genetic father, and sometimes fleeing the tribe completely.

So, taking this into account, the book concluded it is possible that some of this genetic drive could be remaining in men, who are so much more likely to murder step-children, rather than their biological children (though they will kill their biological children as well), but the book also goes on to say, that the step-father can be very loving and doting towards his step kids, but this affection is then used as a bargaining chip for their mate to give them a biological child.

Now, you think this is a good summary of the things I can be enraged with, and it is, but no, there’s more. This man I mentioned at the start, who murdered his 5 year old step daughter, he said, that it made him a better person. He said… that he was such an ass to everyone, inconsiderate and ungrateful, but now, now he that he murdered a little girl, now he was doing better. He was humbled, he now connected to people. He did crafts now. He also added it was a ‘shame she had to die for this to happen’.

He said that. He said that murdering a little girl was what made him better. I’m seeing white. I have no further words.

[haram-terf]

Hey y’all, I would really appreciate it if the radblr community could come together to help boost this for a fellow radical feminist. She is my friend and has been on the receiving end of endless stalking and harassment from known rapist Eli Erlick. Please take the time to read her post and share. This is one of our own. She was brave enough to confront Eli in person but has been suffering from the consequences of this violent person coming after them through many avenues. (She asked me to share with her name, btw.)

[haram-terf]

It's so wild to me how hostile tradwife girls get when you point out how unsafe that position is. It's worrying to say the least. Anytime a divorce lawyer goes on tiktok and explains to girls and women just how much this can all go wrong, they're angry. Some have gotten death threats! Over telling the truth!

When I tell people not to become sahms, it's not because I hate them or their children. It's because it's not safe. I know one SAHM and a "trophy wife". The reason I never said anything when they became housewives is because the first has a massive trust fund that will keep her afloat for a lifetime. The second used to work in finance and has an investment portfolio that will keep her family afloat for generations. They can also afford to hire cleaners, cooks, house managers, and nannies.

If you don't have all of that, don't be a SAHM. First of all, you won't be taking pilates classes because the average salary in this country is below 70k. Second of all, even if you had the money unless you could pay a nanny, you're not going to have time. You're more likely to spend your days scrubbing toilets & cooking meals while three kids are using your body as a jungle gym.

Most of you underestimate men and overestimate the legal system. Everytime someone brings up the risk they go "B-B-But alimony!!!". Newsflash!! Most courts aren't gonna give you that. Maybe you'll get child support, good luck getting more than $200 a month. Especially since there are so many ways to avoid paying it. Your ex could rack up $80,000 worth of debt, declare bankruptcy and he won't have to pay you shit. You think I'm lying? Go to your nearest child support office and ask the women how much they're getting. Ask the women if they're there because their ex hasn't paid child support in 2 years and their baby needs new shoes. You don't even have to ask. Just listen, they'll tell you all about how great it is sacrificing career building for their hubbies.

Also, if you're at home with NO income, but your husband makes all the money, guess who's gonna have the upper hand? The person that can afford a lawyer who'll say "Your honor, she's still young enough to enter the workforce in a timely manner, she only needs alimony for six months :)" will. Men are possessive over their money. The only reason they want you to be their housewife is so they can extract that labor from you to build their legacy. They have ZERO qualms about kicking the mother of their children out on the streets.

This isn't even taking into account non divorce situations. You know when a politician is revealed to have CP on his computer and his wife is just...letting it happen? Or when a man cheats on his wife very publicly and she stays with him? Or those women in domestic abuse situations who just won't leave? It's not because these women are evil pickmes. It's because they NEED these men. If their husband gets arrested for having CP, those kids aren't eating. You think a woman with three small kids can leave a cheating man in a safe manner? Don't stick your nose up at these women, if you don't listen to the evil feminists that is your future! Those women are you! 🫵They used to be naive little girls daydreaming about soft obediant children and pretty meadows too. If they were born in this age they would have had tradfem blogs too.

And what about death? Most young men who can afford to support a family on one income are blue collar manual laborers or they're in the military. Two jobs with a high level of casualties (don't ever become a SAHM for an underwater welder). SSI is not going to take care of you and your five kids. Maybe it'll buy a diaper or two.

Also, remember that a lot of men with stay at home wives become paranoid about where the money is going. Even if you're careful you could end up with a man who interrogates you everytime your nails are painted. Most SAHM scenarios involve the man taking all the money and giving his wife an allowance check. If it's not enough or Little Timmy has an expected field trip you'll have to hope your husband is generous enough to give it to you.

This isn't me being an evil feminist, this is me being a realist. If you're not rich, don't become a SAHM. At the most I'd advise the average woman to work part time and be extremely frugal with HER money. That way if shit goes wrong you can transition to full-time employment and you'll have money to take of yourself and your children. You should also build a vast network of friends. I'm not a housewife, but I was recently in a tough spot. Luckily my friend got me a well paying position as her uncle's assistant(im literally just scheduling stuff for him, it's mindnumbingly easy). That kind of network will save your ass. Don't be the woman that ignores her friends when she gets married, it will cost you.

I understand why yall want this life. The world is scary, especially post pandemic. I'm not judging any young girl for aspiring to this life. The idea that all you have to do is be pretty and a nice strong man will take care of you is wonderful! But unfortunately it's not reality. Men no longer have social pressure to remain married. Society does not care about displaced homemakers. If we lived in a society where SAHMs had a garunteed UBI I'd tell every aspiring mother to stay home. But we don't. Working sucks sometimes, but honestly it's not that bad. Your ancestors died so you could work. Maybe think about why they were so desperate to escape this lifestyle you're dreaming about.

[haram-terf]

Gay men can have the rest of the men, some of the most misogynist vile things I’ve ever heard were from gay men who get too comfy.

How about letting people use their brains and develop their critical thinking skills, mmk?

I feel like stirring the pot today.

But for real, the whole "kill all men" movement reeks of transphobia, racism, and homophobia. Men loving men is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated. Please don't forget our history as a community, especially as it relates to queer people of color. I get it, but stop generalizing.

Image ID: The bugs bunny "I wish all (blank) a very (blank meme.

The text reads:

"I wish all queer people who hate men and any kind of attraction to men a very that's a gateway into terf rhetoric and ideology. Don't project your trauma from men onto half the population, it's harmful, and everyone suffers under the patriarchy especially Black, Asian, Latino, Hispanic, and Indigenous men, queer or not."

End ID

[haram-terf]

July: Shinzo Abe

August: Mikhail Gorbachev

September: Queen Elizabeth

October: ???

[haram-terf]

Goddess, Nina Paley, 2018

[haram-terf]

i have such a distaste for tiktok and earnestly believe having it worsens your quality of life . uninstall it and use the tried and true method: if a tiktok is funny enough to be worth seeing, someone will steal it and repost it somewhere else that won't eat a hole in your brain

[haram-terf]

Idk if anyone can relate to this but men have ruined clubbing for me. Like , I love going to the club with my friends because I like music, dancing and getting drunk but men seem to think if you are a woman at a club it must mean you are looking for sex and you are fair game. I feel like 99% of them just go there with the plan to take advantage of some poor drunk girl. Every guy I ever met in nightclubs was a creep with no sense of physical boundaries who thought it was ok to put his hand on my hip or around my shoulder after we talked for like 2 minutes. If you accept a drink they think you owe them. If you politely decline they don‘t take it seriously. If you tell them to fuck off they get agressive and call you misogynistic slurs. Men at the club always make me feel unsafe. I can never relax the way that they can because I know I could get groped, roofied etc. I hate it so much. Please just leave women alone in public spaces.

[haram-terf]

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[haram-terf]

A few days ago, I emailed my former professor about a paper on women’s food practices in the middle ages. At least, that’s what I told him it was about, initially. 

But actually, I wanted to discuss heresy. This professor teaches a women’s rights course every year. Every year at the beginning of the class, he calls attention to why he, a man, is talking about women’s rights. He looks us in the eyes and says, no one else is doing it, and I’m sorry it’s me.

This man made us read the SCUM manifesto, Gerda Lerner, Maria Mies. He grazed the subject of the Lesbian Sex Wars, delicately, so gingerly, posing the question: “Can sex work ever be just work?”  And my  (all woman) classmates, generally mute—in a Women’s Rights class, they all seemed averse to saying the word “woman,” at all. Then one woman raised her hand. and she said, “Sex work is real work.”  A statement that, as I hope you know, is a deflection and a discussion killer.  

At the time I was non-binary. Hah. I submitted a comic at the end of the year of my final project. My thesis for that project was this: the very language female people have to use for themselves was constructed by the patriarchy. for example, the english word “vagina” comes from the latin word for “sheath”. so the vagina invokes the act of penetration upon its utterance. Whereas the word “penis” has no clear etymological root, implying that it is original while the vagina is constructed for him. Why should I carry the fact that I will always be a tool, the hole, of the human that is man? My solution, at the end of the comic, was to continue using they/them pronouns, to shield myself from the horror of being a wo-man, a s-he—an appendage of Him. 

I got a good grade. A stellar report. And it wasn’t a bad comic, for what I knew then. For my condition of blindness and deafness. I made a compelling argument, using sources from class.  But oh, how much older I feel now. I’ve always felt old but now I feel almost like I’m dying. Like I don’t have enough time to fix the world before I disappear. And women’s stories never survive. They are not surviving. networks spring up like mycelium and then every century at least they are burned. Witchcraft is in the air shared by women in a room of their own, and witchcraft is doused in gasoline.

I don’t have enough time to explain how the veil lifted for me. Maybe I forget the big moment. the days after were a blur of searching the no-no tags like radical feminist, GNC, gender critical. Amazed at the wealth of journals that these women linked to with real statistics showing that children are being sterilized for no reason. Mostly gay children. like me, a lesbian, who now lives in a house with three  “non-binary afabs”. This summer, one of these women, who I have known since freshman year, will start taking testosterone, a procedure I took up  for three turbulent months during my freshman year of college. I get to watch her become what I turned away from, knowing the experience fractured my sense of self to a point of  terror and estrangement. I get to watch her hide from her problems and cut herself off from womanhood the way I did for 3 years. I am not a woman, so do I not feel Woman’s pain, she is telling me, I told myself, when I was in a dream.  She has so many problems, she laughs. But trans is a separate problem that has nothing to do with those other problems. A coincidence.

 (For any trans people reading this, you may think: This transtrender fake-trans never-was-trans woman is treating these nonbinary people as if they were dead! as if they weren’t happy people finally living their truth! —well. I put my mom through the process of trying to convince her that I should have always been a man. and I did lose her, for months. For her it was the height of cognitive dissonance that I should want to go on a life-altering hormone to cure my lifelong social awkwardness and self-hatred and self-harm and depression. And I blamed her for not accepting my real self. I was basically made to shun her and my family because of transphobia.. It is disrespectful to anyone’s sanity and integrity for me to perpetuate that cognitive dissonance in this post.)

So I eventually got through to the professor. I knew because of the texts he had us to read for class. He is gay.  He has read all the theory, and lives by it.  And no (woman) student wants to speak to him. To bring the theory alive. They cannot breathe into it and it sits dead in his mouth.

Maybe it is because he is a man. because the presence of one man in a space of all women immediately sends up alerts.  lockdown. Certainly that is the case. Radical Feminists here: I know he’s a man. But I don’t have a woman. And I felt on the strength of the texts he’d given us that he would be my best bet. Maybe somewhere in the corrupted, rotting heart of my college there was a person who knew about thoughtcrimes and was thinking them anyway.

My professor starts with diversion. He starts by talking about my paper. I find it disconcerting that he starts that way. I worry that he won’t want to refer to my email. Where I say: I have woken up from a dream to the apocalypse—Does this man think I’m crazy? Chipper and kind of frantically, he lists off  primary sources of medieval nuns and women saints. for my paper.  Does this man think I’ve turned into a bigot?  Am I confessing lunacy, like a flat-earther?

But I steer the conversation to the meat at his first tentative encouragement. I tell him something like: “children, mostly gay children, a whole generation of gay children, are being sterilized. Porn is a symptom of late-stage capitalism—men’s ownership of women’s bodies. trans is an extension of this. I was part of this. I was in a cult.” I was shaking a bit. I don’t think I’d uttered those words out loud. They sound crazy. Some of the things I said did sound far-fetched. disorganized, remote. But I prayed that my professor would believe some of it, any of it. 

 What I will say is that he believes me.  Thank fuck, right?

He tells me something along the lines of this, vocalizing my fears: 

that all of academia is being scrubbed of anything that doesn’t support Trans.

And it is trans-identified female students and women who are reporting him to Title IX, who spend all their time in his classes fuming at the lack of validation for trans women in the  history of women. My sisters, footsoldiers for the cause. What cruel irony. This man is holding onto this class by his fingernails, speaking through his teeth, hoping any of the twenty young adult women staring blankly or angrily at him will hear him and listen.

 Looking back, the professor’s responses to my emails are vague, completely refusing to acknowledge a point of view other than “WOW. I look forward to discussing this.”  I think he thinks he could be blackmailed. Anything he says on gmail dot com can and would be used against him. It’s like, really, really, really that bad. 

No ideology should involve a cultural cleaning of women’s history feat. witch hunts. 

I will end here with an excerpt from my first email to this professor:

I’m sure you know what a total bummer it is to realize this. 

[haram-terf]

Male and female brains aren’t wired differently

New research, published in October in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, concluded that despite size discrepancy, there’s no functional difference between men’s and women’s brains. “Male” brains and “female” brains simply don’t exist. In fact, there’s significant overlap.

[haram-terf]

There’s so much to unpack here already but let me tell you women do *not* live in easy mode.

“Women live on easy mode” I’m… what? 🧍🏽‍♀️

[haram-terf]

I think my least favorite Hetero Trope is when the girl eats a burger or whatever and the dude is like “Wow, I like a girl who can eat” like what the fuck did your last girlfriend do, photosynthesis?

[haram-terf]

just remembered how women who aren’t from Hamburg don’t realize when they’re being chatted up by a john or a pimp.

some time ago an acquaintance of mine was telling us how she went to Hamburg for the first time and “strange men kept approaching her” someone even directly asked her if she had a job, what kinda job and how much money she was earning. I think she even shared some info? I think so bc I remember being even more concerned after she kept talking, but said she finally went her own way bc the questions kept getting stranger.

I was like “yeah that was a pimp, you have to be careful when walking the city alone, they’re everywhere”

She was shocked… and her and her bf got angry at me for implying pimps or johns would ever approach her, because I was obviously trying to say she looked like a whore and not trying to warn her so her naive ass won’t get kidnapped or worse.

[haram-terf]

there are some girls who detransition and go back to an exaggerated performance of femninity… i watched a video of a girl who said she literally can’t get out of the house without putting on a wig and makeup… I’ve seen so many who say that to figure out if you want to detransition you should try to put on makeup and see what you’ll look like “as a woman” it’s so sad

[haram-terf]

13 may still be a child, and the fact this boy is even contemplating this is..... questionable. But 13-year-olds are more than capable of critical thought and know better than to categorize interests by superficial things like gender lol

i’m not even angry because this child is 13, but it’s really sad how we as a society condition young kids into thinking that video games = male, to the point where kids get dysphoric over gaming.