hardcorelover07

[hardcorelover07]

Yk where my maturity at young age came from?

It definitely didn't come from a big loving family

Maybe it came from living without my parents since I was child?

Maybe it came from my parents divorce at young age?

Maybe it came from my father who left?

Maybe it came from my uncle aunty never accepting as someone own?

Maybe it came from always having less compared to my cousins?

Maybe it came from watching my family fight?

Maybe it came from getting blamed for my cousins mistake because I'm the oldest?

Maybe it came from always be the one told be satisfied even when getting the least?

Maybe it came from getting blamed by everyone?

Maybe it came from family who always thought about themself and never me?

Maybe it came from going to school without lunch or last night leftovers because no one wanted to wake up early and make lunch for me?

Maybe it came from my mother who was always tired and never had enough time to listen to me?

Maybe it came from always been told to adjust?

Maybe it came from realising I can never lean on anyone or depend on anyone?

Idk it could be anything... I'm not even sure now...

There's many things

Many reasons

Now I'm older i don't find myself mature now

I hate myself whenever someone thinks or calls me mature

It reminds me of everything that pushed me to that point

So now I instead don't say anything even when someone is wrong yet blaming me I just quietly listen

Young me who always stood up for herself even after so much is gone

Maybe she's tired too... So she's gone...

Now I don't defend myself, i avoid people, i run away, i sit quietly, don't question even when I don't get things that should be mine...

I hold it inside like I'm numb

Maybe sometimes when i reache the limit

I lay by my bed any cry in darkness alone

Sometimes I cried infront of them when my family or parents scold me

But when they said you're grown up now, stop crying over every simple thing be mature

I realised, there's no worth of my tears to them

Because to them if I'm crying then I'm immature

So now I quietly live by my days and night

I don't speak extra anymore, I don't cry to them anymore, I don't argue anymore, i just listen to them scolding me, I don't defend myself anymore

I just apologise even if it's not my fault

Because maybe that's what I've become...

[hardcorelover07]

It's like we already lived best year of our life

And we aren't getting those moments back

So now for the rest of our life we've to live in nostalgia

[hardcorelover07]

It's like we already lived best year of our life

And we aren't getting those moments back

So now for the rest of our life we've to live in nostalgia

Me( 23 june 2025)

(Did I just wrote something crazy????)

[hardcorelover07]

Not tryna be rude, offended or anything

But I genuinely want to know what's your opinion on this?

For people who want to read ZhouDu ff

I've written one title "I'd still choose you"

Available on both Wattpad and Ao3.

Link in comment 🔗

[hardcorelover07]

HOLYYYY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT

WATTPAD IS BACK Y'ALL

MY STORIES, MY DRAFTS THEY'RE BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

FINALLY!!!!!!

THANK GODDDDDDD

(For context for past few months now Wattpad wasn't working in india. There was some problem with it. I couldn't see my stories, drafts, notifications or anything)

[hardcorelover07]

things (i can mostly remember) fei du and luo wenzhou calling each other:

fei du calling luo wenzhou: old man (what a classic lmao), menopause sufferer (fei du loves equating luo wenzhou to the crypt keeper just to play himself later when he shows how into older people he is), daddy, shixiong (shixiong, i love you~), Lao Luo (a personal favorite)

luo wenzhou calling fei du: brat, punk, scoundrel, bastard, feizhir (i love this one), darling (a common pet name he uses but a classic and one he uses to comfort fei du), daddy (i believe they’ve both made sugar daddy jokes which is Extra funny give their general d/s shixiong/shidi dynamic)

[hardcorelover07]

5000 likes!

[hardcorelover07]

the middle class

So here's the thing -

The super rich do drugs , cheat on their spouses, sleep around and all.

The very poor also do drugs , cheat on their spouses , sleep around and all that.

The middle class is the only one who follow the "rules" , the "societal norms".

The super rich make money by hook or crook.

The super also make money by hook or crook.

The middle class is the only one earning honestly.

The super rich have body guards and licenced guns.

The super poor have desi kattas and chaku .

The middle class is the only one without weapons .

The rich have too much power to follow superstitions

The poor are too poor to follow the superstitions

The middle class have just enough money to get scammed into superstitions

[hardcorelover07]

seriously the way they filmed this shot with this angle, the way Pei su's shadow falls onto LWZ's face creates such a sense of intimate proximity... and LWZ doesn't back away and his eyes look as if anticipating something

it really looks like they filmed it as a kissing shot

[hardcorelover07]

sorry

Tao ze looks like such a mother here

[hardcorelover07]

Don't let my posts fool you into thinking I'm in any kind of – relationship, situationship or even an eye-contact-ship. The only ship I'm currently sailing is hardship.

[hardcorelover07]

The first to pluck feathers from my wings weren’t the strangers~ they were the ones who gifted me wings,then trimmed them with conditions,choosing feathers that matched their vision,not my flight.

[hardcorelover07]

I never really felt like I belonged. Not truly. Not with my family, not with my friends, not even with acquaintances. Yeah, there were moments, times I had real friends, people who saw me. But then life happened, my father's postings, their own shifting paths, and we drifted. Slowly, silently. And I was left behind.

I've never truly known that feeling of belonging, not in shared laughter, not in teasing jokes, not in loud, chaotic fights. I was just… there. Smiling like I meant it, sitting quietly, wondering how long before I'd be alone again.

It's in the way I always came last on the priority list. The way I was left out of cousin hangouts. The way my interests were laughed at, not leaned into. Maybe because they were all boys, and I was just the girl, the odd one out. A burden, maybe. So why bother taking me along?

And so I sat, again, with people twice my age, absorbing their critiques like bruises: how wrong I was, how short I was, how incapable I seemed to be. And it never ended. "You're always on your phone," they said. But no one asked why.

Why I was always the one left out.

Why I was trying so hard to hide my tears.

Why my hands kept shaking.

Why I dug my fingernails into my skin just to hold it all together.

They never looked beyond the surface. Never saw the quiet battles. Never really saw me.

All they saw was someone who wasn't enough. No one ever stayed long enough to see who I truly was.

[hardcorelover07]

Only few eps left I'm getting stressed y'all 😭

I don't want any more doomed ships in bromance

I call it "Bromance curse"

I don't want any more death in bromance

I've fucking so witnessed so many doomed endings in bromance that I'm fucking scared of ending at this point

[hardcorelover07]

I'm definitely not okay about them but I think it's okay to be not okay about them

- me about ZhouDu (ZhaoSu)

[hardcorelover07]

So for last few weeks i couldn't watch jitd properly

Finally I'm sitting here and watching from ep 18 again

And i swear to God

Nothing breaks my heart again like ep 20

Lwz looking at fei Du when Tao Ran says that even couples can't trust each other

And both of them just look at like-

Then when lwz asks about the watch

I feel so bad for Fei Du there coz whatever I know it must have hurt Fei Du that even lwz doubts about him

And then the little smile on his face watching Lwz and his mother get along

But istg nothing was more irritating than lwz father

Like mannn he accepted Fei Du better than his own son in the novel wtf with his character in drama?!

And then when Fei Du says about Schrödinger's cat theory.

My heart broke

Into million pieces and i can't even stop

I honestly started crying a little bit okay

(I'm definitely not okay about them but I think it's okay to be not okay about them)

[hardcorelover07]

Fr

lwz asking pei su what the symptoms of ptsd are

dont worry lwz, you will know in 3 episodes