hardman5509

[hardman5509]

Hey, @shortopinions

You're wrong, your information is wrong, your name is wrong, you are not American, you are not good, and you will never be right and American.

Please can the shit.

[hardman5509]

Don't worry. Groundshaker is not as hard as they say he is.

im playing KHII right now on critical

[hardman5509]

Shadow Hearts

Underrated JRPG feature is when one party member uses some non-weapon object as a weapon, but you still upgrade your stats by buying weapons, so now every weapon shop in the world needs to carry parasols of increasing lethality

[hardman5509]

as a janitor at my local arcade, this irritates me.

The elevator was down, but I needed boxes from upstairs...

...so I improvised.

[hardman5509]

To be specific, that's only active when Mermaid Kick is turned on. Turn if off, and it goes back to the normal animation.

...and it does nothing special BTW.

~ This has been another reason to skip past Atlantica ~

I thought I was losing it but no, kh1 Sora's fast swimming animation really does change after you've been to Atlantica. It's a small detail, but also a cute and smart one 🥺

[hardman5509]

Even funnier is that stat-wise, Benny could totally lay out Colonel Autumn from Fallout 3, the final boss.

And Benny's:

kind of crazy that benny fallout new vegas would have the entire mojave under his thumb if he wasnt so obsessed with using his stupid little cuckboy 9mm

[hardman5509]

I know why he is familiar!

why does this guy from welcome to eltingville look familiar

[hardman5509]

I remember seeing a PETA-like pamphlet in high school that was so fake. It showed a photo of a blood-stained barn, claiming it to be a slaughterhouse for KFC, and I could tell from a mere glance that is was fake; the only way that the blood spray would make sense if the animal was EXPLODED from the inside.

A lot of these Anti-Meat/Pro-Vegeterian stuff tends to be a bunch of junk anyway. 'Here's a video of a cow getting tortured by the evil meat industry!' Yeah? Quick question, who's idea was it to record a video of illegal butchery and post online? I doubt that all of the photos and videos were done by spy-cameras and Go-Pros.

This 👆 is a barbaric program. 🤔

[hardman5509]

Touhou Ship Week 2023 Reimu x Suika 01: Confession/Legacy

"Hey, psst."

Reimu ignored Suika. Suika tapped the shrine maiden on the shoulder with a finger. Reimu continued to ignore her. Suika poked Reimu in the cheek, squishing it. Reimu groaned, but continued ignore to the oni. So Suika tapped Reimu on the head with one of her horns, and that got Reimu's attention after rubbing the top of her head. "Okay, okay, what?"

"Do you want to start a family?"

Reimu stared awestruck, complete with her jaw hanging low. "What?"

"Well, we could." Suika shrugged before taking a small sip from her gourd. "I live here, we share a bed,"

"Because you wrecked the last one!"

"And I feel like we really click together!" Suika put her hands out. "You and me, a real power couple!"

"You live here without rent and you just mooch off me." Reimu pointed out. "And now you want me to drop all of my shrine maiden duties to go and start a family?" She chortled as she set her cup down on the dusty table. "Oh, and I suppose you want me to be the mamma!"

"...I think you would be a good momma."

Reimu laughed. "If I have a child of a youkai, that will serve to alienate any remaining other custo...people of faith that come up here. I'm pretty sure that Yukari will not be happy with that, Sanae might just kick my ass, and any power-hungry youkai will cause an incident with me out of commission."

"Well, there's Sakuya, Sanae, that...bunny and ghost girls...and, oh, and Cirno! She could probably do somethings."

"I guess that won't be too bad then." Reimu groaned. "A small vacation would be nice..." She stopped, shook her head and looked at Suika with a sour look. "No, no. I ain't doing that. I got to protect the barrier and the Human Village...and all of that."

"But what about legacy?" Suika asked as she pointed with a finger and her gourd. "You had parents, so you would need to consider getting continuing the legacy of the Hakurei Shrine." She giggled. "Hey, you don't have baby photos of you..."

"No, I don't." Reimu sniffed. "But yeah..." She sighed as she placed her elbows on the table, catching and holding her head with cupped hands. "Guess at some point I would need to consider having a kid. Think it has to be directly from my bloodline for them to inherit the mantle of the shrine maiden. Going to suck, but at least I got some time and plenty..."

Reimu stopped. She started to wonder why exactly, of all moments, that Suika chose to bring this up. And the oni is looking away at the moment. The kind of look that brought the word 'guilty' to mind. "Suika..." Reimu started up with a deep draw in her voice. "Is there...a reason...as to why..."

"Hey, remember what we did last night?"

"No, but please. Do go on."

"I might have knocked you up..."

Aya caught the perfect photo. She was flying near the Hakurei Shrine to see if there's a story brewing up at the most chaotic place in the land. The photo of a legendary oni with a re-arranged face flying up and then crashing down back into the shrine is going to sell so many copies!

[hardman5509]

Abigail Williams says hi

Day 877

[hardman5509]

My birthday is on the 27th. Can I request Aurelia and Klara locking their breasts together please?

I know what you meant here, but the visual was funny, I'm sorry

[hardman5509]

Hey, no worries, thank you so much!

Touhou secret santaaaaa

MERRY LATE CRIMBO @hardman5509 i am sor sorry for not making it on time for crimbo

this event was fun, mucho gracias to @touhousecretsanta for hosting this event

Have a good one

[hardman5509]

Kaguyin's Secret Santa: Tuna For Two

For @kaguyin as part of @touhousecretsanta :

This is perfect! Mike has been waiting and saving for something special all year along and it seems that her efforts are going to pay off. She managed to work her powers in such a way that she got the money and the customers she wanted without losing too many of the other. It sucked most of the time; either getting filthy stinking rich while being left alone or having customers a-plenty and being poor...but she could finally...finally...FINALLY...

Afford a tuna!

Tuna is a rarity in Gensokyo, even more so good tuna. And getting some good tuna or any tuna period is even harder when the richer denizens get their hands on the good stuff. Mike had to not only save up money for the tuna itself but also to secure a place in line AND actually get some real tuna. Mike has heard some nasty rumors regarding some vendors selling fake tuna either to make a quick buck or make up for their lack of product. 

But she did it! Mike let out a happy cheer as she raced on out of the vendor's store with her tuna tightly wrapped. There's enough in here to grill two good-sized patties. Hmm! Tuna burgers on Christmas Eve sounds great, but what would be greater...if Rin agreed to share a meal with her!

This has been a long time coming. Mike didn't want to go to the Hakurei Shrine's flower viewing originally, but it was well worth it to meet up with Rin. A fellow cat-youkai, and a real cutie to boot! Creepy cutie at that. Liked to talk about corpses and dead people a lot. Smelt like them as well, guess it goes with the territory. But still! Still! Red-head, perky and she's the kind of gal that Mike would love to be with all the time...

And maybe the promise of dead fish will win her over?

Mike's eyes were locked onto the mini-grill that she bought from that weird junk-seller guy. It's portable but the small size is perfect to grill the tuna. The only thing she should have also bought is a cookbook because she has no real way of telling if the tuna is being cooked all the way through or if the skin is getting burnt off. She is trying to go as perfect as she can make it go but she had a feeling that if she tried to go that way, she will do far worse. Best to go for a good grade! 

They should be done soon, and just in time, she needed to warm up the buns. Rin should be getting here soon; she mentioned that she had some errands on the mountain to handle. No mystery as to what errands are and Mike is hoping that the smell of death is long gone by the time Rin arrives...

The smell of frying meat reminded her that she had more important matters to handle at the moment. Rin quickly flipped the patties. Besides, the other side looks to be a little bit undercooked. 

“Hello...” 

Mike let out a little shriek as she jumped up to the ceiling. A little laugh from the direction of the greeting. “Geez, didn't mean to scare you.” Mike, still clinging to the ceiling, looked down to see...Rin! She's on her own and without her cart too. That means that this dinner will have no problems with bad-smelling corpses now! Heck, Mike could pick up on some sweet scent of saffron swirling from that sexy...uh....is there a synonym for 'cat' that begins with 's'? 

Never mind. “Rin!” Mike sighed as she deattached herself from the ceiling, landing on her feet and going over to greet her guest. “You made it!”

“Of course.” Rin did a little courtesy of a bow. “Even if I wasn't invited, I would have smelt that tuna countries away...” She licked her lips as she eyed the mini-grill, thankfully undisturbed from Mike's jump. “A short meal I see.”

“It's the most I could get with what I have.” Mike sighed. Yup, should have saved more money. Maybe next year? “Guess it is more of a snack...?”

“It's fine.” Rin produced a large, gray clay bottle from behind her back. “Brought some beer, might as well make it an American-like barbecue...”

“American?”

“Other world thing, it's really interesting!” Rin gasped as she plopped down on her butt and popped the top of the bottle. “America is a really hellscape for a lot of people, and a lot of death...” She sniffed the contents for a bit before her brain kicked on and she realized her little mistake. “Oh, right. You don't like talking about that...”

“Well, it is your job...” Mike nervously replied, trying to play it cool. “You can talk about it...”

“Nah, your shack, your rules.” Rin shrugged as she produced two shot-glasses from her bag. “Besides, I talk mostly about my job, and it's good if I listen to you for a bit.” She sighed as she poured out two well-measured shots into the glasses. “So, what do you do for a living around here?”

“Selling!” Mike spat out, her nerves overtaking her. “Selling whatever I can get my hands on...”

“Ah, scalping.”

“NO!” Mike spat out, covering her mouth this time. “I mean, I guess? I find random junk and then I attract customers...” Rin put on a coy smile while holding her glass close to her lips, swirling it around. “Not like that, not like that!” Mike crossed her arms as she repeated herself nervously. “I have the power to beckon money or customers...”

“Oh, I get it.” Rin sighed as she sipped gently on her booze. “You're like a magnet, like that mouse girl. You find good stuff and then you sell it off?” Mike nodded her head. “Maybe you and Nazrin should do something together. She can find anything for you.” Mike slowly nodded her head. Why does it sound like Rin is going to try and hook her and that mouse together? “If she ain't busy with her tiger buddy...”

“Oh.”

“Hmm?” Rin asked as she again swirled around her glass. “You were...?” She then giggled. “Nah, I ain't going to hook you with anyone you don't wanna.” She giggled as she downed the rest of her shot. “Just suggesting partnerships, you know. Expand the business?” She shrugged. “Come on, friendly business talk.”

“Yeah, yeah...” Mike gulped as she looked back at the patties, thankfully not burning. So far so good! That should be good for the patties; Mike carefully set them down on a plate and then replaced them with the buns. Just a little bit longer! She gulped, her hand starting to shake uncontrollably. She's going to drop the spatula at this rate.

“Want some help?”

Mike gasped as she could feel Rin huddling around behind her. "You're getting nervous...you cold?" Rin asked as she breathed some hot air on Mike's neck. Mike tensed up as she could feel Rin's hand going on her hand holding the spatula. "Here, let me help you..." Mike gulped down as Rin started to puppet her hand.

This only lasted a bit before Mike regained control of herself, and by that, she leapt up and onto the ceiling again. Rin took a moment to register her surprise before emitting a loud sigh and looking up to seeing the clinging Mike. "Man, you take the phrase 'scaredy-cat' to a new whole level." She clicked her tongue as she carefully picked the buns off the grill and then set up the burgers. "Come on down before they get cold." She told with a wag of her finger.

Mike is a fountain of sweat by this point; not a good thing to have when it's like zero celsius out there at the moment. She knew that Rin could be very candid but didn't realize just how open she is. Taking a nervous gulp (Geez, she's getting thirsty, and doubtful the beer is going to help her with that) she dropped down from the ceiling.

Rin handed her a burger first, before then serving her glass. Mike set the plate down first before taking the glass with bot hands. "Cheers." Rin held up her own glass close, with Mike almost nervously dropping hers. It took Mike a second to recognize what Rin wanted before she gently clinked her glass against Rin's. Rin giggled as she downed her glass down in one gulp.

"Now for the burger..." Rin remarked as she looked at the steaming patty. She snatched it up and chomped down halfway. Mike's heart sank. Even if the patty is delicious, that's half the meal down. That's massively disappointing! And if the patty sucks...

"Delicious!" Rin chirped as she pulled Mike in for a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas..." She then whispered. "Don't worry too much about it...next year..." The next part she whispered is far too risqué for a story of this caliber to write down and it made the already nervous Mike explode.

Rin isn't hard to please. Dead bodies on the way down or anything that cats likes is enough to make her happy. Mike didn't need to worry too much. Rin did like the change of pace going from big festival gatherings to this little snack and drink with Mike.

...now, Rin would have to wait a bit for Mike to calm down before she could suggest what else they could do with a bottle of booze while they are alone together...but, she can wait to 'unwrap her gift'. Hehehe.

[hardman5509]

The first picture reminds me of:

Who do you think would make a better Santa: Arjuna or Junao?

i have 0 time to actually draw this rn so im dredgimg up old stuff- that being said i think 'both' is a fair and reasonable reply

[hardman5509]

It's AI Art. Don't use it period, it's just stealing actual art work.

Day 538

I’m well aware that one ai art website is absolutely awful with white washing anyone who’s even slightly dark, but I got curious and wanted to see if it was possible to get it differently and started entering pictures of arjuna

this is not arjuna this is a generic h*rry p*tter npc. I also just noticed it changed the seasons outside the building lmao why??

It doesn’t get better if he’s on a lighter background btw. The animal is different and his hair is darker though?

??? This is a completely different person?? Where did the frog sandal come from?? What is with the discount kimono?

i was initially so distracted by the color pallete completely changing I missed that the farther elbow is merged into a distant pillar. Incrediblé

This is how sumeru genshin works, right? Ignore the third leg

Oh of COURSE the first one to actually get anywhere near a darkish skintone is for some reason based off the sanrio figure (they’re also awful about whitewashing)

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?? IS THIS THE BITCH NOBUNAGA VOICES IN GENSHIN?

this is a guy from code geass I feel. Ignoring the absolutely alarming whitewashing it’s kind of funny it also changed the water lilies into..camellias I think?

This app: ‘dark skin means it’s just lighting, right? No way someone actually isn’t pale’

This is just hateful tbh

[hardman5509]

Touhou Ship Week '22 5: A Rarepair and Misunderstanding

@thshipweek

Reimu sighed. "Hey, you think we have been spending too much together?"

"What makes you say that?" Suika asked as she got out of bed.

"Eh, dunno, just came to me."

"Then hey." Suika shrugged. "Let's take a small break!"

"Sure." Reimu shrugged as she leaned over and kissed Suika on the forehead. "Let someone else have the story for once."

"Yeah!"

-------------------------

Cirno is staring down the biggest challenge that she will ever face. Nothing will ever compare to this. Legends will dictate the great effort that she went through...to court the ruler of the dead.

"Uh, Mistress Saigyouji?" Youmu asked as she raised a finger. "What are you doing?"

"I'm on a date." Yuyuko told as she fanned herself. "With the strongest being in Gensokyo." Youmu stared blankly at the two. Cirno is crafting...snow cones. Yuyuko has procured some flavored syrup and some cup and Cirno is crafting the ice for her. While she doesn't see any transferring of funds, Youmu is seeing this scene as less of a date and more of a bartender tending to a lush.

"There we go!" Cirno breathed out, her face red and sweaty from all of the work. "Another one!" Yuyuko let out a happy whoop as she dunked on a whole lot of cherry syrup before starting to devour the next cup.

Youmu sighed. Knowing her mistress, she could go through at least a hundred, and she might have already done so before she arrived. "Hey, fairy." Youmu asked as she got up close to Cirno. "May I ask why you're doing this?"

"To win her heart!" Cirno panted as she quickly crafted cone.

"You..." Youmu pointed a finger, her mind starting to reel. "You wish to court Lady Saigyouji." Cirno nodded her head so hard that Youmu thought it might fall off her neck. "And to do this..."

"I'm granting her wishes." Cirno grunted out. "Isn't that what people do to win lovers?" Yuyuko giggled and the whole scene made sense to Youmu. She will chew out Yuyuko later for taking advantage of Cirno.

...on the other hand, having Cirno around does mean they can save on the costs of food.

[hardman5509]

Touhou Ship Week '22 4: Festivals and Swapping

@thshipweek

“You want to what again?”

“Swap.” Suika held up a copy of her current outfit. “Swap clothes and roles! For a day!” She tugged on one of the chains. “Don't worry, these aren't as heavy as the real deal.” Reimu, laying on her side after a long day of work, looked blandly on. “Come on, it will be fun! I'll be a shrine maiden for a day, and you'll be a drunk oni!” Suika tugged on her dress.

“You want me to hand over one of my own outfits to you.”

“Yeah!”

“So we can spend a day pretending to be the other person for...what reason?”

“Because it will be fun!”

“..fun.”

“Oh come on.” Suika sighed as she rolled her eyes and let out a mighty groan. “Surely you have heard of fun, right? This isn't some alien thing to you.” Reimu took a turn to roll her eyes. “I get it. You got a huge load of responsibility to look after the shrine and defend Gensokyo, but you don't have to do it each and every day! Nobody expects you to do that!”

“People don't expect much out of me in the first place.” Reimu groaned. “If I put that on and someone see that, I will either become more of a laughing stock or I'll be really ostracized for good.” 

“C'mon, you look good. And it will only be for a single day! Maybe not even the whole thing, like two hours tops!” Suika waved the dress around. “And I'll be the shrine maiden...” Suika sighed before also adding in: “And that means I'll do your chores for the rest of the day.” Reimu raised an eyebrow. “I mean it! You can laze around and drink to your heart's content and I'll sweep, and sweep...and sweep.”

“I do more than sweep.” Reimu mumbled as she started to sit more up right. “I have to pray and purify a good deal each day...which is a talent I believe you don't have.” Reimu looked at the dress. “Now...suppose I don't want to get drunk.”

“Then...you can just wear the outfit.”

Reimu looked at her own outfit. Threadbare. Then she looked over to the copy of Suika's. Looks thick and warm. “Eh.” She shrugged. “Why not?” Before she could add in anything else like a condition, the outfit got thrown in her face and Suika ran off. Reimu did also want to ask if Suika even had a shrine maiden outfit of her own...but her question got answered as Suika ran in with her own outfit. 

“Look good, huh?” Suika asked with the biggest smile on her face, showing off her appropriately sized miko robe. 

“Yeah.” Reimu sighed before her ears perked, sensing movement. “We got guests.” Before Suika could get the door for them, the guests made their way inside. Reimu could tell it's Marisa without even looking. Suika letting out a gasp did make Reimu look up to see what would make the oni gasp out in surprise. And it made Reimu do the same in return. Oh yes, it's Marisa...or is it Alice? 

It's hard to tell! That's Alice dress and hairstyle alright. But the face is clearly Marisa, even if Reimu is now realizing that the two had familiar faces. And maybe it's just the fact that Reimu has rarely seen Marisa without her witch's hat on. And Reimu just noticed that Suika has ran off. “Hello Miss Hakurei...” Spoke out Marisa trying to sound like Alice and failing badly. 

“Marisa?” Reimu asked.

“Yup.” Marisa sighed dejectedly. “It's me.” She giggled as she took a seat. “Bet you had a hard time in recognizing me without my hat on!” 

“...no.” Reimu replied back immediately. “So, why the outfit swap?” She stopped and put on a wide-eyed look. “And why do I have a feeling that it's the reason why Suika wants to swap outfits?”

“You don't know?” Marisa giggled. “It's a new thing. It's the Swap Festival.” She patted herself on the heart. “It's where lovers swap outfits and roles for a single day. You know?” She shrugged. “Where they get to live in the other's shoes for a day.” Marisa started to smile. “So! You and Suika...”

Reimu could feel her right lower eyelid throb. “I would much prefer to be told of these things beforehand.” She muttered. 

“Hey, who knows? You might look real good in that outfit...”

“...at the very least, she promised to do the chores...so why not?” Reimu shrugged. “I'll talk with her about this later, but why not?” She giggled. “

“Wait, you're going to sleep with Suika so she can do chores for you What kind of relationship are we talking about here?”

“Marisa, we aren't at that point yet.”

“Dunno, feels like you're close to it if you're going to bang over who does the chores.”

“...Marisa, how horny are you?”

“Yes.”