Look, I know Billy is big and tough and cocky and likes to play like he’s stronger than everyone and everything and the only emotion he feels is anger, but
I just want to see him wrecked and writhing on Steve’s fingers as Steve whispers the sweetest filth in his ear, and he comes just as much from Steve calling him *my* pretty boy as he does from what Steve’s doing with his hands. Is that really too much to ask?
Billy doesn’t feel loved, fucking obviously, Susan (as far as we know) doesn’t do shit to stop the abuse, max probably has no idea and Neil is just an asshole. The only person who probably loved Billy was his mother (and there is even a chance she didn’t who knows). And that shit makes you angry depressed anxious and even suicidal as hell. Being suicidal isn’t just taking a gun to your head or cutting your wrists, it’s being reckless as hell because they just don’t care, at all, so what if they die, they don’t care, i.e. speeding and over drinking and doing copious amounts of drugs. Not only that but Billy shows signs of just not giving a shit, the poor boy probably just doesn’t care anymore. And here is my preference on his anger. That’s all he’s known, and maybe (I’ve known people who do this and it’s self-destructive as fuck) he takes all the emotions he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with, and changes it into lust or into pure rage. That and he probably sleeps around because just for a split second he can feel at least wanted for his body. He’s a douche bag one hundred percent. But do you realize how many times he’s probably cried himself to sleep? Stayed up all night? Screamed into his pillow to hide his anxiety attacks? Because he can’t show his dad any weakness, no, that’s for faggots. But is it really so wrong to want someone to hold you while you cry? To tell you everything’s okay even when it’s not? To want to hear your mothers voice again one more time? To want to see your dad the way he used to be? For him to pick you up and to ride his shoulders in the backyard in sunny California. But Billy can’t have that anymore. Because he’s stuck in Hawkins Indiana where all he has of his mother is her memory and a dad who started to hate him, along with a new stepmother who doesn’t stand up for him and tries to replace his mother and a sister who hates him for a god reason. And can you imagine the first time he realizes he’s becoming just like his dad? He probably just goes numb. Billy is fucked, and I want him to have love in season three, or at least be accepted.
do you think billy ever experienced a hug? otherwise i'd break my heart...
hmmm billy’s backstory hasn’t been explored (YET… i’m looking @ u duffer bros) but my best bet is that his parents definitely hugged him when he was a kid, his mom moreso than his (piece of shit) dad. and sometimes, when things get extra bad and the dark thoughts come, billy’d sit on his bed, hunched over with his head in his hands.
he’d think of his mom then, all wavy blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, crooning out a love song along with the radio as she stirs the pot for dinner. then she smiles down at little billy who’s tugging at her dress, lowering the fire before she scoops billy up in her arms.
“my silly billy,” she singsongs, holding him close to her bosom, one hand running through his curly hair. “what’s got my baby fussin’ now?”
this is the memory billy holds on to the most, her warmth and her scent and her love so tangible that he can only clutch onto himself tighter, aching as he whispers, “everything, mom. everything.”
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