hasusaku

[hasusaku]

Anybody miss me?

[hasusaku]

“That’s up to me to decide, right? I’m the customer after all. Don’t make me write a bad review for your salon online.” Did he even have a site? Who cared, he’d write it anyway.

He-- has a point. Dropping his attitude and turning his attention away from sweeping hair clippings, he lifted a brow. In a sarcastically seductive tone he purred at the younger man, "Oh, forgive me. What can I do to make you gorgeous today ma'am?" Point not entirely taken. He's still going to be a complete ass.

[hasusaku]

Oh great. The brat's showed up at his current salon location. Grunting, he haved an irritated hand at him. "You don't need a haircut."

[hasusaku]

The piercing was removed and my tongue stopped bleeding and it's not swollen anymore. I can eat again like a normal person. Holy shit. So yeah hi does anyone wanna rp with me?

[hasusaku]

Really though my mouth has been full of blood for like two hours where the fuck is the doctor??? I shouldn't be able to spend time fucking around on a phone. I should be answering questions and getting this abominable piece of surgical steel removed from my tongue.

[hasusaku]

So Koujaku mun is in the hospital right now. Hi. My tongue piercing was a horrible idea. Don't do it kids.

[hasusaku]

"I'd totally fuck you."

”...What?”

"You don’t even look like you would be a good fuck, old man."

[hasusaku]

[ i don't need a life at the cost of yours ; a future without you means n o t h i n g . ]

[hasusaku]

Send me a word plus 'Headcanon' and I'll give a headcanon based on that word.

[hasusaku]

Send me a ★ for one way I'm similar to my muse. Send me a ☆ for one way I'm different from my muse.

[hasusaku]

This is not just an rp blog.

This is an ask blog, as well. As in, come into my askbox, anon or not, and talk to my character. I am always open for conversation.

[hasusaku]

This has been a pretty intense couple days and it’s not over yet. It is for tonight because I was hallucinating due to exhaustion, but I still have one more night!

[hasusaku]

I did the thing I feel incredible.

[hasusaku]

     At first, he wasn't going to follow. No, he'd let him walk away because he's right. Every time Aoba reached out, he slammed the door in his face. Locked him out. Blocked him without ever explaining to him what was going on in his mind. Aoba had changed, and to him, it had seemed like it was for the worst. He joined up with a band of criminals he was certain must have hurt him at some point, and his personality did a 360. Before he'd known it, his hair was snow white and so was the rest of him. He just... hadn't seemed the same.

     In his mind that had only led him down a dark road he'd already been going down when Aoba had gotten separated from him and the others on the way to Platinum Jail. He realized that ever since he'd returned to the island, he'd failed to really find out if anything had changed. They'd both gone on almost as if he'd never been gone, and he never once questioned, even during the fiasco with Toue, if something could have changed or if there was something about him he didn't know about. Just as well, he'd been keeping something from Aoba, too...

     That was when he decided he'd follow. Despite the decently large distance that'd already formed between them, he lurched forward and ran after him. He'd considered being rough. Forcing him to look at him and to listen, but he thought back to the terrified look in his eyes when he'd so much as grabbed his shirt, so instead he simply hugged him hard from behind and closed his eyes.

     "You're right. It took some nerve asking now after how much shit I put you through along with everyone else." His voice is soft. He's not going to hurt him, and he's hoping that much is clear from the fact that he hugged him rather than doing anything else. "I over-thought things. I warped and twisted things in my mind until all I could see was someone who wasn't the same. I had the image of you when we were kids burned into my mind to the point that seeing you as anything other than innocent and sweet was impossible. It felt wrong seeing you go down that road, and I... got mad because it reminded me of myself."

     Is that true? Did it really remind him of himself? Something happened to strip that innocence away, and now that he thinks of it, he hugs just a tiny bit tighter. "I hated you for what you became, but even more than that I hate myself for what I am. You haven't really done anything awful. Not like me. You never deserved any of it."

     A wheeze bursts past his lips. He's so angry with himself. All those times he screamed in Aoba's face and told him to leave. All those times those eyes had looked at him like someone whose hero had let them down. He had let him down. They'd promised one another they'd be friends forever, no matter what. And that promise was broken the first time he'd tossed him aside. There's no reconciling that.

     Dropping his hold on him, releasing a broken friendship and accepting it for what he turned it into, he put his face in his hands. "I can't stay angry with you for not telling me what happened to you because I never told you what happened to me either. I want to be angry. You've associated yourself with disgusting people. But you must have a reason. Something happened. Something I have no right to know about. I'm sorry. You can leave now. You won't get any more nasty looks from me or Benishigure's members. I'll tell them to lay off Scratch members. Thank you for the gift, too. I-- yeah. Bye."

     He has to leave. Has to go home. Put up that picture. Remind himself every day of yet another way he's fucked up. He'll put it near the mirror where he'll always see it. What a bastard he is. A mother killing, friendship destroying bastard.

     So now he's trying to walk away. Not run. Walk. He's almost hoping to be stopped, but he feels as if that won't happen. He's done too much. Said too much. He's such an asshole. How much of that was I, I, I? Stupid.

Didn’t care? Was that what Koujaku thought, that he didn’t care? Oh..well, that explained a lot. Every part of Aoba was screaming to punch Koujaku in the face and run away, that being grabbed like that meant he was going to get hurt and panic flashed in his eyes. He was terrified that Koujaku was going to hit him. That he’d have to deal with his former best friend hurting him for just trying to be close again.

When he was let go he took a couple steps back, still wearing that emotionless mask but also completely tense, so much so that it looked like he would bolt at any second. And he might have if not for the fact Koujaku started talking again. 

"…You shut me out. You slammed the door in my face, yelled at me, constantly berated me for being ‘not Aoba’, you turned me away every single fucking time I tried to reach out, and you have the balls to ask what happened? …Fuck you." 

Without waiting for a response he turned and started to walk away, hands curled into fists and trying to calm himself as he walked. Counting his breaths made it easier to focus on something other than the anger that was welling up within him. He was so focused he didn’t notice anything else happening around him.

[hasusaku]

I'm really excited about cosplaying Aoba and Morphine Sly this weekend at Matsuricon though. This life is full of too many exciting dilemmas right now. Slaughter me.

[hasusaku]

I get so excited about Koujaku's bad end. Don't talk to me about it. I'll never shut the fuck up.

[hasusaku]

     Careful fingers grasp the bag offered to him and pull it closer, opening it and lifting his eyebrows. Wow, that's-- nice, actually. It definitely is something he likes. Looking up with an impressed expression on his face, he nodded. "It is, actually. I'm pleasantly surprised. Thanks, Noiz."

"You’re welcome." He replied, holding the bag out for the other to grab. "I hope it’s something you enjoy." And hopefully he’d enjoy this one day of him not being a jackass towards Koujaku.