hatakesensei

[hatakesensei]

I think this is the only blog I haven't mentioned it but weekends i will usually be scarce! I do body & face painting & it takes up most of my time & energy!

[hatakesensei]

he fell back into some of his old grieving habits where he tried to rationalize his poor treatment of others by saying ' well its hard for me too ' ( bcs he has SUCH a bad habit of this but ultimately he's the one who usually backs himself into emotional corners --- if he's facing something on his own it's not because there aren't people willing to help him. it's because he's isolated his own thoughts & found a way to make himself right )

anyways having big brain hours w @allgather & I wanted to save this bit. it sort of explains why kakashi cuts people out when he's grieving & doesn't always treat his relationships with care. when he self-isolates, he rationalizes other peoples' needs away which isn't fair to them. anyways,

[hatakesensei]

the way sasuke's name gets caught in her throat cuts into kakashi. he knows the ache, the grief, that keeps his name from her voice. he doesn't bleed emotion for too long, though, because she stitches the metaphorical wound up as she continues. it wasn't entirely healed, but neither was she & that was something they could face together. it was hardly the first transformation sakura will have faced, he thinks, & it surely would not be the last.

he feels his heart leap at the thought of sakura becoming a chunin. he remembers the first time he had pushed his students to enter the exams. he hadn't expected any of them to get very far, it was meant to act as a warning bell for the life they would lead. it had been a petty, stupid decision on his part. an attempt at proving a point. now, though? he knows tsunade is making the right call. she's preparing sakura the right way, the way she should have been the first time.

" of course i'll spar with you. i would love to see the sorts of things she's teaching you firsthand, " his usually dry tone betrays a hint of enthusiasm, though he's quick to swallow it before he reveals himself completely. tsunade was stronger than anyone sakura would encounter in the exams, but many shinobi did not rely on strength. they could not afford to be so blunt. they were sneakier, sharper & kakashi thinks she could be too. he knows she can't enter on her own, though & something about the sentiment stings. still, he can't keep his questions to himself, " who does she propose you enter with? "

The kunoichi hides her giggles behind her warm cup of tea. She's unsurprised. What she hadn't expected was the honesty that followed. The mug freezes in its place and hides whatever expression might be present on the bottom half of her face.

She stares at him for a second and then finally takes the sip from her tea. Sakura clears her throat as the warm liquid passes through her throat and sets the mug back on the table. "You do know that you have taught me a lot, right, Kakashi-sensei? Maybe not ninjutsu like with-," she can't bring herself to say the name of her former teammate, but the silence of it feels loud enough in her mind. Sakura runs her fingers through her short pink hair, "But you have taught me what it means to be a shinobi."

Sakura sets her cup to the side of her. "Tsunade-sama wants to recommend me for the next chunin exams. We've been working on improving my fighting technique, but I need more practice against shinobi who don't fight the way she does." Her cheeks suddenly become flush and she let's out a sigh to release the emotion that suddenly built up within it, "Would you help me practice?"

[hatakesensei]

anyways i am going to be jumping around blogs. this is like, my main place but i will drop my other blogs under the cut in case anyone is tickled by the other muses / fandoms i write in

@stickytm - peter parker, low activity overall & i tend to stick to plotted interactions there because of this. i'm in my drafts here right now & will be hopping over to matt here in a little bit.

@elliscousland - ellis, coming out of a hiatus, my dragon age origins character & one of my dearest ocs. i do have modern verses for him but they need to, again, be plotted & he thrives more overall as a fantasy character. i do have bg3 verses for him & other fantasy media as well

@hatakesensei - kakashi hatake, rebooted, if you don't go to naruto idk what to tell you. i have a modern verse for him if you're really interested in plotting something with him outside of that universe. but i prefer writing naruto characters to write in the naruto universe for the most part, with a few exceptions!

also honorable mention for @xbadnews who i am not writing on rn but i will go home to percy one day & hes got every verse you could ever think of i pick him up like a mii & throw him wherever the fuck i want. i am willing to write him on discord if it ever tickles ur fancy.

[hatakesensei]

also tho i don't have my rules up i did change my pinned to reflect i'm mutuals only. so sorry friends i just Cannot Not be that way or i'll get so overwhelmed i will pass away

[hatakesensei]

“ it’s one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes. ” || @bakisensei

" is it a tragedy? " kakashi asks with a raised brow. he's leaning against the fence behind him, a foot pressed to the wood. much of his life had been a testimony to stagnancy. he'd been trapped in a cycle of death, death & more death. until one day, he wasn't. he looked at the sun & felt it's heat & thought perhaps the light wasn't so terrible. it was still an active journey, a choice he had to make every day... but wasn't that thrilling?

despite the shadow baki cast over nana's life, he thought that the fellow shinobi might deserve some of that light too. that he might know what it was to break the cycle they were defined by, to look at the man he was instead of the weapon he was meant to be. afterall, they were following the same orders... just from different mouths. kakashi snaps his book shut promptly.

" change can inspire us. redefine us. encourage us, " he produces a letter, holding it between his gloved fingers. he had made a terrible ordeal about not touching it when nana had entrusted him with it's delivery but... for now, it acted as a peace offering, " isn't that worth it? "

[hatakesensei]

" why do you think we'd get along? because we'd make a full set? " he gestures to his remaining eye. obito's gift remains tucked safely behind his headband.

these days it was difficult for kakashi to like much of anyone. still, the sentiment that he could chips away at something in him. it was humanizing in a way he usually tried to swallow, to distance himself from his body & mind. nana, however, tethers him here rot & all.

kakashi sits with a stiff spine, trying not to display the hint of discomfort of the thought. it was rare, he found connections to his parents. for so long he had turned his back on his father's legacy, bitter. his mother, however, was more difficult a ghost to chase. nana's father had known him, said nana reminded him of Her.... but a little more alive. there was more flesh to her, a fire seen in only those with the most life. he could tell even now that defiance shimmered in every heartbeat, that her tooth & nail were sharper than any blade he'd ever wielded. he thinks he likes this about her, though he hasn't decided yet.

" you could be right. i'm glad we haven't met as enemies, then, " because inevitably, one of them would have ended up dead. it was sweeter to think that there was one more soul out there worth saving, worth sparing. that nana had found him somewhere along the way. it was a rarity in their world, afterall, " was he anyone important? or just to you?"

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎☾ / @hatakesensei‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

❛ When I came here, I needed an escort. ❜ Nana said, slowly. She's drawing lazy circles in her food with the end of her chopsticks. 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. pessimistic, but she supposed that she was too. He did paint a lovely picture before that. ‎ ‎ ‎

‎ ‎ ‎ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐩. ‎ ‎ ‎ She thought of Baki, with his scars and his temperament like a blade. He was not someone the Hyuga would want to associate with, but he was better than most of them — 𝘯𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦, like Kakashi was. 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵, with a gentle heart hidden beneath the layers of eroded stone. Even beneath the secrets they cling to like ‎ ‎ ‎oaths. ❛ He was the escort. ❜

Nana rested her chin in her hand, abandoning her food to swell in the summer heat. She swatted a fly away, the Hyuga kept special herbs around the windows and strung them up around the verandas, trying to keep the rot and filth of the outside world from touching them. as if the worms didn't crawl from the inside out.

‎ ‎ ‎ ❛ He was our age — well, my age. ❜ Sometimes, Nana forgot that Kakashi was still only fifteen. Some days he seemed older, and others he seemed younger. He was like a chameleon with age. ‎

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ❛ His name was Baki, and he lost his left eye on a mission. I think you would've liked him. ❜

[hatakesensei]

“ do you listen to what you’re saying? ” || @sakuyami

" mmm? " kakashi raises his gaze to meet sakura's, past the pot of tea on the table between them. he's got a cup of tea, untouched. they've been talking in circles about the weather & the village & her friends... but truthfully, her life seems so far away. he wants to step closer, to close that distance between them... he see's the determination in her, the strength she builds every day & he wants to help build that. he was meant to be her sensei, afterall. it's his job to pave the paths she chooses to walk.

" only sometimes, " his tone is casual, dry, but tucked in the words is a hidden truth. it could be a joke, but he thinks he means it, " it's just - the only place i know where to start. i want to be more involved. i thought talking about it might... " might what? bridge their generations, their differences, the distance between them? well, if naruto had taught him anything it was the best way to start. but he keeps that sentiment to himself for the time being.

" i want to be more involved with your life. your training. you're already going so much farther than i could have taken you, " he sighs, " i don't know where to begin. "

[hatakesensei]

antigone (trans. robert fagles) x naruto shippuden

kakashi | death

[hatakesensei]

[hatakesensei]

shaking my computer because it's giving me hell tonight

[hatakesensei]

Mahmoud Darwish, The Hoopoe

[hatakesensei]

okay before I go to bed I wanted to do a little inbox call! Like this & I'll bust in your inbox w some memes.

[hatakesensei]

okay before I go to bed I wanted to do a little inbox call! Like this & I'll bust in your inbox w some memes.

[hatakesensei]

also, I headcanon the bandages on kakashi’s arm are from chronic scarring from using chidori

[hatakesensei]

working on smthn…

Edit: fixing the proportions and getting wayyy into this

[hatakesensei]

𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

“ everybody lies. ”

“ weird works for me. ”

“ truth begins in lies. ”

“ humanity is overrated. ”

“ pain happens when you care. ”

“ reality is almost always wrong. ”

“ i don’t care much for apologies. ”

“ i’m too handsome to do paperwork. ”

“ i’m gonna pretend to go to work now. ”

“ do you listen to what you’re saying? ”

“ you’re a disgrace to your stereotype. ”

“ never is just reven spelled backwards. ”

“ perseverance does not equal worthiness. ”

“ i know what’s bugging your subconscious. ”

“ new is good. because old ended in death. ”

“ if i was kidding i’d be dressed like you. ”

“ there’s nothing any of us can do about it. ”

“ do i get bonus points if i act like i care? ”

“ we all make mistakes, and we all pay a price. ”

“ i have almost no knowledge of alien physiology. ”

“ i cared for eight seconds, then i got distracted. ”

“ that is not the last feeling i want to experience. ”

“ if nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong. ”

“ i’m deflecting because i’m avoiding something shallow. ”

“ almost dying changes nothing, dying changes everything. ”

“ i’m not deflecting because i’m avoiding something deep. ”

“ i don’t want to be in pain, i don’t want to be miserable. ”

“ i’m branching out from self-loathing and self-destruction. ”

“ i think when you do change, it’s not so simple to go back. ”

“ people don’t get what they deserve. they just get what they get.

“ if you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything. ”

“ we formulate our questions based on the answers we want to hear. ”

“ death is the opposite of a cool puzzle, it’s eternal nothingness. ”

“ livers are important. you can’t live without them, hence the name.”

“ did you come for my feelings? because i left ‘em in my other pants. ”

“ what’s the opposite of ‘thank you’? i’m pretty sure it ends in 'you.'“

“ it’s one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes. ”

“  there’s no i in 'team’. there is a 'me’, though, if you jumble it up. ”

“ a unicorn isn’t a unicorn, it’s a donkey with a plunger stuck to its face. ”

“ hostility makes me shrink up like a… i can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor. ”

“ pain makes us make bad decisions. fear or pain is almost as big of a motivator. ”

“ it’s normal to be screwed up, but it’s really screwed up to romanticize it. ”

“ well, as the philosopher jagger once said, 'you can’t always get what you want.’ ”

“ everybody does stupid things, it shouldn’t cost them everything they want in life. ”

“ if you wanted fair, you chose the wrong job, the wrong profession, the wrong species. ”

“ if you’re not willing to look stupid, nothing great is ever going to happen to you. ”

“ it’s easy to be nice to people you like. but being nice to people you hate, that’s a skill. ”