hatepostchampion - Tumblr blog

[hatepostchampion]

i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats. now theyre eating nothing. theyre being born without mouths

[hatepostchampion]

Greg House Big Naturals…

[hatepostchampion]

[hatepostchampion]

oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

[hatepostchampion]

I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up

If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm

[hatepostchampion]

i had a dream recently that i posted on tumblr about me speeding and then the cops found it and used it to get me a speeding ticket and then i contested the ticket by pulling up another tumblr post where i claimed i did 9/11 and my point was that i make shit up on tumblr all the time and as such all of my tumblr posts should be inadmissible and this case should be dismissed but it had the opposite effect and the judge sentenced me to over 3000 life sentences for the people.i killed when i did 9/11

[hatepostchampion]

[hatepostchampion]

"this must hit so hard if youre stupid" is such a simple yet incredible rinse i think it might change the hating game forever

[hatepostchampion]

happy pride month

[hatepostchampion]

hmm interesting article i wonder what characters will be on it

[hatepostchampion]

baby what's wrong, you've barely touched your 18 pounds of cokane 12 pounds of crake and 7 male stripers (diverse)

[hatepostchampion]

Thinking about when I worked for honey baked ham and whenever we got busy our store manager would recalibrate the pricing scales to make hams more expensive per pound and most hams landed around $80 naturally so sometimes you'd get an 8lb ham for like $110

[hatepostchampion]

coca cola

[hatepostchampion]

[hatepostchampion]

you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping

[hatepostchampion]

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

[hatepostchampion]