hawksismyeverything - Tumblr blog

[hawksismyeverything]

Dabi: *pitches an idea* Shigaraki, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Hawks, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

[hawksismyeverything]

Alone

Hello! This is an agere fic for DabiHawks! Hawks is an age regressor, around age 1-2, and Dabi is his CG! I'd prefer STRICTLY SFW INTERACTION for this post. Agere is a coping mechanism, and I am an age regressor myself. Thank you!! Post under the cut.

Keigo stared at his phone screen, watching as it dimmed slowly before shutting off. He didn't care. He hadn't really been paying attention. Really, he was just waiting for Dabi to get done with whatever he was doing so he could text him, or be small, or both. He just didn't want to be alone when he inevitably slipped into littlespace. The minutes ticked by like hours, before a notification finally, finally, popped up on his screen.

However, it was from Tomura, not Dabi. It confused Keigo, knowing that if Dabi was out, technically Tomura should be too. The message read; 'Hey, scarface idiot got stuck in a meeting and told me to check on you, so you better not be dead.' Well that was a lovely way to shove him out of headspace, wasn't it? He quickly typed back; 'Yea im alive thx' before hitting send. There was a long silence. Keigo glanced at his phone as if he could manifest a response from Dabi, but he didn't see a text. He blinked, and went back to browsing the internet.

Finally, Dabi sent him a message; 'u ded?' Keigo grinned, but not in the I'm-Looking-At-A-Camera way that he usually did for reporters. He typed back immediately, not even bothering to spellcheck before responding; 'nope! hihi dabi!' He thought that would tip Dabi off as to how close to little Keigo was, but apparently he was too tired to think about it. 'hey birdbrain' Was all Keigo got in return. No babybird? No sweetie? He almost tilted his head before thinking of how dumb he would look. Still, it was better than having Dabi just reply back with his name. He could just picture the breakdown now. Sobbing on the floor, convinced his caregiver would never love him again. Dabi had a tendency of doing that accidentally. 'hii' Keigo typed out slowly, hoping once again that Dabi would get the hint.

He didn't. 'u sed that alredy' Keigo cringed at the fact he wished he could babytalk, but he didn't even know if it was okay that he was small yet. He needed confirmation. 'My bad- yous okay?' Keigo tried, slipping a little s on the end of a word, trying even harder to make himself stay big a little longer. 'yea im fine, u?' Keigo groaned, laying back onto the bed, feeling a lump in his throat. He was holding off headspace, and it was gonna make him cry. Great. His phone pinged, and as he glanced at it with teary eyes, he noticed it was a message from Tomura. 'Hey. You small? Dabi's oblivious. Need someone to talk to? I can tell him if you want. Just sayin.' Keigo laughed, though it sounded more like a choked cry. He still tried to respond in as much of a big boy voice as possible. He knew Dabi would tell Tomura eventually that Keigo was not tiny at all, that he would totally have said something. Not that it was unusual for Keigo to do this.

'No is okay- thx tho Tomu' Keigo typed back, the fuzzy feeling in his brain taking over finally. 'I'm telling Dabi. That's not a problem, right Kei?' Keigo visibly shook his head, as if Tomura could see him. His papa didn't need to know, it wasn't that big of a deal yet. 'You don haveta tell' Was all he managed to type back. 'I'm gonna.' Was the response he got. With a silent thank you, Keigo set his phone on the bedside table and curled up in the middle of the bed. He couldn't convince himself to get up and get a stuffy, or a paci, or literally anything that would make him feel better.

His phone pinged, and Keigo almost wailed. He really didn't want his papa to know he was tiny, because he hadn't even told him. 'Baby?' It was from papa, so clearly Tomura had told Dabi. Keigo should have known; Tomura doesn't make empty threats. 'Hm?' 'You wanna talk to papa?' 'Mhms'

His phone rang, Dabi's face popping up with his name under it. Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, a grin spreading onto his face, solidifying his headspace pretty quickly once he set the phone down, putting it on speaker. "Hey birdie^^" Dabi's voice, cracky and tired, came across, and Keigo could have melted right there. He loved his papa's voice so much. "Hai papa! What doins?" He chirped in response, rocking back and forth lightly. "Talking to you, silly! How old ya feelin'?" He questioned. Keigo thought about the question for a moment, unsure how to properly answer. He was definitely older than normal, but he was still dropping. Maybe three? Two? Two at least- "Am fee!" He answered after a minute, though he quickly added, "Prolly gon be smawer doe-" He practically heard Dabi's smile. "So you're just my little guy, huh?" 'Mhm! Papa's lil guy!"

Just imagining having his papa next to him to snuggle was enough to send Keigo straight to tears. Dabi obviously noticed, as he quickly asked, "Kei? Babybird, is something wrong?" "Papa no hewe!" Keigo practically wailed. "Do you need me there?" "...nu needs..." Keigo mumbled, tears falling down his cheeks. He didn't need anybody, but he still didn't have his paci, or his blankie or Lottie, his stuffed robin.

"I'll be there soon, bub. Don't worry," Dabi said, in attempt to calm Keigo. It simply made him feel worse, as if he were causing Dabi more hassle than he was worth. "Papa no, don need, issokay!" Keigo whined. He only wanted Dabi to be there, to hold him and play with him and let him forget about being big and hurting and being lonely. "I'm on my way. I love you." "Kei woves chu toos."

Keigo sat in stunned silence, curled up on his bed, slipping farther than he'd like to admit. He was really quite small. One or so. Maybe younger. Every noise made him whimper, every creak or gust of wind sent him farther down. Dabi's footsteps included. "Hey, babybird, breathe- oh jeez- okay, c'mon, sit up for me." "Da!" Keigo shreiked, his arms wrapping around Dabi's midsection. "Small, huh? Maybe one- you call me papa when you're two or above, so- okay-" Dabi muttered, adjusting Keigo's weight. "You need anything before we lay down? "Paci an bankie an Loddy!" Keigo whined, his head falling into the crook of Dabi's neck. "P'ease?" He added softly.

Dabi quickly placed a pacifier in his mouth, Lottie in his arms, and a blanket around them before laying down with him still in his arms. "So small, so itty-bitty, so tiny," Dabi murmured in Keigo's ear. "Daa! No tinies! Am big! Ver' big!" Keigo protested. "But who'll be my baby if you're so big?" Keigo faltered. If he wasn't dada's baby boy, then dada wouldn't have one. Dada needed one! Keigo accepted defeat, laying his head back down. "Okie, am lil," He agreed, ever-reluctantly. He was tired. And he was too young to fall asleep on his own. "Right. You can stay like this as long as you want," Dabi reassured him, picking up on Keigo's train of thought. "Da ver nice," Keigo murmured, letting his eyes fall shut. Dabi sat there in silence, holding Keigo's small body and watching as his breathing evened out, deep breaths that quieted even the loudest ones. It was beautiful, really. Just how Keigo was.

[hawksismyeverything]

Keigo is still autistic.

Thank you for coming to my second TED Talk

[hawksismyeverything]

𝙰 𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙳𝚊𝚋𝚒𝙷𝚊𝚠𝚔𝚜

Description: Hawks has a long day, dabi comforts him, angst angst angst, hawks is a traumatised boy

Warnings- Angst, mentions of past trauma/abuse, flashbacks, mention of nearly passing out

BLURB UNDER THE CUT!!

It had been a long day. Far too long for Keigo to keep up the facade of being Hawks, number two hero, a face of confidence. The second that he got out of the media's eyes, he shoved himself into an alleyway to catch his breath, a breath he didn't know he was holding. He uttered a string of curses at himself, before slowly lifting off the ground, the steady yet subtle beat of his wings bringing a strange sense of calm over him.

It took him less than two minutes to get home, but those two minutes were those of nightmares. His head pounded, stress having brought on a migraine that caught him mid-air. The second he landed, he stumbled forward, toward the unlocked window. He kept it that way for nights like these. His bed called out to him, but he averted his eyes and moved on to go catch at least some of the news. He opted to stand, as the moment he sat down, he knew he'd fall asleep. He couldn't do that yet.

The reason being, that is, that Dabi wasn't there yet. Once Dabi showed up, Keigo could breathe, he could sleep, and hell; maybe the nightmares would hold off for the night considering how utterly wiped out he was.

At the moment though, Keigo was swaying on his feet, every part of him screaming to just lay down. All at once, his body broke his resolve, his knees buckled, and he was on the ground. "Shit-" He muttered, black dots clouding his vision suddenly, the movement making his head feel like someone had taken a whisk and beaten the crap out of his brain. "Gotta- gotta stand, c'mon, Keigo, stand up," He muttered to himself, trying to use the willpower that he didn't even have at the moment. Before long, he managed to stand back up, albeit nearly falling on his face in the process. He vaguely heard the door click open, his eyes flicking up to see Dabi.

"You look like shit."

Keigo rolled his eyes at the sentiment. "Thanks so much, captain friggin' obvious."

"Just saying. Can't say I blame you though- you look like you haven't slept in a decade," Dabi mumbled, ruffling Keigo's hair before grabbing the remote and switching the TV off. "You need anything?"

"Not at the moment, no," Keigo answered, his eyes subtly shifting back to his bedroom.

"Liar. Do you want to lie down? Sleep? That'll solve everything," Dabi scoffed, folding his arms, and looking Keigo up and down before motioning him to follow him into the bedroom.

Keigo didn't protest, hell, he didn't have the means to. Dabi wasn't even wrong. Keigo was practically sleepwalking now.

In the bedroom, Dabi closed the door and took a seat on the bed, waiting. Keigo took a seat next to him, and after a moment's pause, he leaned his head into Dabi's shoulder, sighing into oblivion. "Mm... lay down," Keigo murmured, gently pushing at Dabi, who obliged, pulling Keigo down with him. "You tired, feather?" Dabi cooed into Keigo's hair, wrapping his arms around his midsection. Keigo sleepily hummed in response, still not convinced he would be okay if he slept. "I'm here, okay? Breathe, dummy. I'm not going anywhere." And with that, Keigo was out like a light, his usually frantic breathing slowing down.

Dabi couldn't take his eyes off Keigo. The guy looked worn out and utterly exhausted, almost like he had been run over by a bus. But Dabi had seen him worse.

His eyes dropped to Keigo's wings, which looked like they had seen... better days. Probably the commissions doing. Dabi bristled, thinking of the first time Keigo had mentioned in detail what they had done to him.

--

"It was dark. All the time. And so cold. I still hate the cold. But it was a different kind of cold. It was like- cement cold. There weren't windows. There weren't lights. It was pitch black, the cement was all painted this dark grey. They locked me in there for so long. So long. I can't do small spaces anymore. Then- then there was the, uh, the electricity. That was my least favorite. Cement walls and darkness can't physically hurt you. Being alone can't physically hurt you. Electric shocks to the base of your already aching wings? That hurts like... like nothing I could explain. They liked to choke me to the verge of being unconscious, then shock me back awake. Repeat until you have a sobbing child, begging you to let them sleep. I still- I still have nightmares about that."

--

Dabi woke up to two things. The bed jerking, and Keigo sobbing. He was muttering a string of apologies, gripping at his hair like his life depended on it. Dabi laid his arm on Keigo's shoulder, slowly rubbing the other man's back.

"It's okay. You can go back to sleep. You don't have to be sorry, Keigo."

"I'm- you- I'm so sorry-" Keigo wailed, putting his arms around Dabi. It seemed he was still half asleep because he seemed to be begging for forgiveness.

Dabi waited patiently, hands still on Keigo's back. He wasn't sure if Keigo was coming around yet. He knew it was probably better to just wait it out though.

"It hurts, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Keigo muttered frantically, tears streaming down his face.

"It's okay, shh- nobody's gonna hurt you, honey. You're okay." Dabi murmured into Keigo's ear, lightly rubbing at the back of his hair.

"You're, you're right, I'm sorry-" Keigo whimpered, clutching at Dabi. "I'm sorry, I'm- I'm just so stupid-"

Dabi quickly realized that Keigo was having another flashback, not a nightmare. He was reliving it. The struggle. The tears. The pain.

"It's okay, it's okay," Dabi whispered, sitting up enough to lightly rock Keigo. "Nobody is ever gonna hurt you again. I'm right here. Keigo, it's okay, take a breath for me, baby."

Dabi let Keigo break down into wails, murmuring soothingly to him. He tried not to get frustrated, but it was hard not to feel a little bit of anger when Keigo so obviously thought he had done something wrong. He was gonna set that fucking commission building ablaze one of these days. This man, this literal ray of fucking sunshine, did not deserve to be sobbing like a lost little kid.

Dabi had found himself in this position several times before. Keigo would get himself into this horrible mindset every so often, mostly after particularly hard days. Every move he made was wrong, he couldn't breathe without apologizing for something.

Dabi held Keigo until the waterworks began to taper off. He pulled Keigo into a hug and kissed the top of his head, gently rubbing the other man's back until he fell back asleep.

If there was one thing that Dabi cared about, it was Keigo being okay. He couldn't afford to be alone, nor did he feel that he should be.

[hawksismyeverything]

AHEM.

Keigo is autistic.

Thank you for coming to me TED Talk

[hawksismyeverything]

Lil keigo

Keigo, grinning: I have a knife! Handler: Put it down, Hawks. Keigo: Make me! *sprints away*

[hawksismyeverything]

Kidnapper: I have your partner. Keigo: What? I don't have a partner... Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? Keigo: Oh my god, you have Dabi.

[hawksismyeverything]

Dabi: I regret nothing!!! Keigo: I regret everything!!!

[hawksismyeverything]

Keigo: I can never give Dabi shit because I’m jealous of him. He looks at his life and says, “This is good enough!” Keigo: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

[hawksismyeverything]

Keigo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Dabi is? Because Dabi is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

[hawksismyeverything]

Dabi: Why are you drinking? Keigo: I drink when I'm depressed. Dabi: But you're always drinking? Keigo: *smug grin*

[hawksismyeverything]

Keigo: I wasn’t that drunk. Dabi: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Keigo: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

[hawksismyeverything]

Keigo: Mint is just cold spicy. The LOV: ... Dabi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

[hawksismyeverything]

Hello!

Welcome, dearest humans (and non-humans!) to my blog! I'm Mattias, you can call me Matt, Mattie, or any variation of that.

This blog is a SFW space for me to put headcanons, fics, incorrect quotes, or other hyperfixation stuff. I am a minor.

DNI:

-Kink blogs

-Homophobes/Transphobes

-Trump Supporters

-Ableists

-Mental Health Fetishizers

-Ed/Sh blogs

-MAPS/Pedos

-People under the age of 13/Over the age of 18

-Hateful People

If you don't break any of those, keep reading for some stuff about me!

I'm Mattias/Alex/Saturn. Preferably Mattias.

I'm nonbinary (pangender? genderfluid? the world may never know.), and use he/they/she/it/void pronouns.

I'm on the aroace spectrum, as well as being pan and poly.

I'm a minor, age 16.

I write fanfics (requests open!)

My top 5 kinnies:

1- Keigo Takami (Hawks), BNHA

2- Tamaki Amajiki (SunEater), BNHA

3- Mattias Schneien, Ghost Eyes

4- Kenma Kozume, Haikyu!!

5- Koshi Sugawara, Haikyu!!

My top 5 fave characters to write for:

-Hawks

-Shigaraki

-Kenma

-Tsukishima

-Sugawara