hazelbeka-blog - Tumblr blog

[hazelbeka-blog]

🥢TEAM MITO🥢

Artist: @anannua, Writer: @hazelbeka-blog

Title: Runaway Word count: 16,437 Rating: General Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: seals master Iruka, ANBU Hatake Kakashi, secret identity, found family, kidnapping, not quite kid fic but they’re teens

Summary: Sometimes a found family starts with a child abduction, a pissed off ANBU, and a barrier seal.

🥢Read this Kakairu Reverse Bang Collaboration on Ao3!🥢

[hazelbeka-blog]

It's very interesting to see Kawaguchi evolve throughout the years, especially the gender exploration. I've been wondering about your thoughts behind it, any plans, etc etc. As a trans person, I like reading about this kinda stuff and having discussions. I think naruto as a whole is full of accidentally incredible queer narratives.

Thank you for asking! I’m sorry for taking a while to reply but I’ve written you a whole essay lol so I hope that makes up for it! I have so many thoughts on this and I am more than happy to talk about them! Kawaguchi’s gender queerness is something that’s lived in my head for a long time – I’m not even sure how long at this point because it’s developed over time and gained nuance, but it’s been with me at least since I finished writing From the Dust even though it’s only been hinted at in my recent fics until The Haunting of Hatake Kakashi. Since that series actually explores queerness in a way my others haven’t, I thought it was finally time to out Kawaguchi as genderqueer.

I think of Kawaguchi as genderfluid or genderqueer, but I’ve definitely drawn from the trans experience too in the way I write him. I’m a cis woman (though I am queer in other ways) so I’d be very interested to hear whether I actually pulled off a convincing genderqueer character or whether there are nuances I’ve missed.

So I think henges are inherently queer and I wanted to play around with the dichotomy between sex and gender. In a world where anyone can learn to use henges, it means that just because Kawaguchi can be female doesn’t mean the people around her see her as a woman even when she looks like one and speaks like one and acts like one. She isn’t genderqueer because she uses henges but perhaps as a kid she was drawn to this specialism because being able to change her gender appealed to her, even if she didn’t understand why.

I was really interested in the idea of how doing long-term missions in henges might affect a queer person, especially a teenager whose body should be changing in certain ways as puberty kicks in. I made up a lot of henge lore, and one of the things I decided was that henges in my fics would be static. A henge won’t grow and develop, Kawaguchi had to do that manually when he was on long-term missions as a teen. He got to control his development, so things like his height, body hair, the size of her breasts and hips etc. Which, on one hand, sounds like the dream, but on the other hand, it made everything about her body feel inauthentic and performative and not real enough. I also decided that there are limitations on changing sex in henges. Kawaguchi, in a female henge, will never be able to menstruate or get pregnant, so even when she was living as a teenage girl and all of her friends thought of her as female, she was never able to experience puberty the same way they did and have that experience of growing up like a cisgendered female. Even her female body is a queer body.

One of the major themes of the All the Lost Children series is mental health and how Konoha fucks up its kids by turning them into child soldiers, so naturally Kawaguchi gets his share of mental health issues. I don’t think I named any specific mental health conditions in Haunting, but I used the symptoms, and I think anyone who’s been through body/gender dysmorphia or dissociative episodes will recognise that Kawaguchi is going through this. The main crux of his issue is that he is both genderqueer and also has some severe trauma around his identity, brought on by living in those henges for so long and feeling disconnected from his messy 17-year-old body when he finally comes back to Konoha. I imagine his family as very loving and well-meaning but also entirely cis and so they don’t understand that his gender queerness is a separate thing to the other mental health issues, and that one is part of who he is and the other is a trauma response. All the people who care about him are trying to stop him from obsessively messing around with henges because they think the only way for him to get over his trauma is to become comfortable in the body he was born with. Which, eventually, he will do, but he will also find a female henge that feels equally as comfortable because he needs to be both. And it will take him a very long time to understand that wanting to be female sometimes is not a trauma response or an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a valid gender identity.

A lot of this comes from how in real life, being queer has been historically considered a mental illness – and still is by a lot of people. And it’s hard for us to break away from that because queerness and mental illness often do go hand in hand, not because queerness causes mental illness but because of the way society treats us. It’s hard to be stable when everyone around you is gaslighting you and telling you you’re confused/going through a phase/unnatural/choosing to be contrary etc.

You might have noticed that all Kawaguchi’s female henges are petite and cute and classically feminine. She likes having long hair and wearing dresses and high heels. That’s definitely a conscious choice (at least on my part if not hers). When she’s female, she wants people to see her and treat her a certain way. She’s absorbed ideas on what femininity should look like from pop culture, this sort of ‘feminine ideal’. I think this carries over to how she acts as well – I imagine her being more comfortable with showing her vulnerable side when she’s female because society is so much more accepting of women showing emotions, whereas when he’s male, he feels more pressured to conform to masculine expectations.

As for Kawaguchi’s pronouns, I go with he/she depending on which physical gender he is (with he as the default, but both are equally valid). That decision came from the practicalities of working undercover first and foremost. I imagine that anyone who works with henges has to train their colleagues to always use he/she in this way because being misgendered on a mission could mean being discovered by the enemy and captured/tortured/killed. So Kawaguchi doesn’t really have the option of using a gender neutral pronoun even if he wanted to. I don’t think he would choose one though, I think he embraces masculinity and femininity and would continue using he/she in this way – at least at the stage of his life I’ve written him at so far. Who knows how he’ll grow and change as he gets more comfortable with himself?

I’ll stop here, sorry for the overload haha. I’ve had so many thoughts and feelings about Kawaguchi’s gender as I’ve been writing him but the ways they manifest in my stories are usually very subtle since I generally consider him as closeted well into adulthood. Thank you for giving me a chance to prattle on about him! I hope this was somewhat interesting!

[hazelbeka-blog]

REI I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 🤣🤣❤❤

it was the birthday of @hazelbeka-blog on wednesday but i didnt really have time to get this done till now so! happy belated hazel! hope you had a great one 💖💖

this is sorta kinda based on "the haunting of hatake kakashi" in that there's a line where snail says "I guess this makes us a team of ghost hunters," and even though this story is not even close to the ghostbusters kind of ghost story, i read that line and this visual just rudely intruded on my brain 😂 anyways the actual fic is a lot more emotional and the ghosts are not at all simple and easy to bust. it's also a sequel to "building traps for gods" which is my favourite fic ever. please read it!!!

[hazelbeka-blog]

Thank you so much Ciça ♥😭 I love him omg he's beautiful!!!

Mad Scientist Iruka for @hazelbeka-blog, inspired by her fanfic, The Experimental Subject (aka one of my favourite fics ever)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAZEL!! Hope you enjoy this soft psychopath boi

[hazelbeka-blog]

Congrats on all the followers!! ❤️ Love your art!

1200+ followers give-away✨

Hello frens!

Just realised I passed 1200 followers already, holy shit. How did this happen? Can’t believe so many people enjoy my shitposting here. 💩❤ So if you found me because of my current Naruto madness or if you’re an old follower sticking around despite it, thanks for the support!🎉🎉🎉

To celebrate, I’m gonna do an ✨art give-away✨ Whoever wins will get a greyscale drawing. The give-away starts now and ends on the 6th of December.

THE RULES:

must be a follower

like this post

reblog this post

On the 7th of December I’ll pick a random winner and contact you via DM. If I try to reach you and after 7 days you don’t answer back, I’ll pick a different winner, so please make sure I can contact you!

WILL DRAW:

fanart, OCs

simple interactions

SFW

limit of 2 characters

WON’T DRAW:

NSFW stuff

offensive content

mechas

anything highly detailed

anything I’m not comfortable with

And that’s it! Thanks again for sticking around ❤💩❤

[hazelbeka-blog]

I did a second big bang fic as a pinch hit! Rey drew such gorgeous art, it would have been a crime to let it go to waste ❤️

Title: Through An Open Door

Team S: Writer - HazelBeka, Artist - @art-rmlb

Rating: General

Tags: Established Relationship, Kidnapping, Found Family, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), canon verse mythology, Iruka and Kakashi adopted Naruto

Summary: In Konoha mythology, shinobi summons live in the underworld, mingling with the spirits of the dead. Twice a year, when the day and night are of equal length, doors open between the two worlds, allowing those who stumble upon them to pass through. When Iruka unknowingly passes by one of these doors, something is waiting for him in the shadows. Something that smells the kyuubi on him and lures him through into the other world for its own nefarious purposes. Kakashi follows him into the underworld, determined to bring him back. But he better find Iruka before the dawn, because once the sun rises the doors will close, and whoever’s left on the wrong side will be trapped with no way home. 

CW: none apply

💞  Click to read this KakaIru Big Bang fanfic on AO3!

[hazelbeka-blog]

My big bang fic finally dropped! Thanks @aratribo for being such a great partner to work with on this! ❤️ I'm so excited for everyone to see our collab - I hope you all enjoy it!

Title: The Haunting of Hatake Kakashi

Team M: Writer - HazelBeka  Artist - @aratribo

Rating: Teen

Tags: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, seals master Iruka, Found Family, Superstitions, Haunted Houses, Grief and Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Genderqueer Character, Dysphoria, dark themes, Queer Themes, messy queer kids vs trauma, maybe the real ghosts are the friends we lost along the way

Summary: It’s been a year since Iruka unmasked the ANBU Hound, and since then he and Kakashi have grown closer than Iruka ever dared to dream. But there are still things Kakashi keeps from him: he won’t talk about his father or his genin team, although rumours about their deaths have always been rife. Iruka’s chance to learn more finally comes when they celebrate Obon together – the summer festival of the dead. One sweltering night, they invite the spirits of their loved ones into Kakashi’s home, but on the second night, when they try to send them back to the underworld, something goes wrong. The dead still linger in Kakashi’s house – and they’re restless. All Iruka has is a handful of seals, a book of ghost stories, and his feelings for Kakashi, which burn so brightly he’s starting to question their nature. But he will protect Kakashi and no one can stop him – not the living or the dead.  

CW: mental health issues & trauma, dysphoria, dark themes

💞  Click to read this KakaIru Big Bang fanfic on AO3!

[hazelbeka-blog]

Seconding all of this - Laz is amazing, they're so talented at both writing and art and I enjoy all their content! Highly recommend their works

🎆✨SPOTLIGHT SATURDAY🎆✨

Spotlight Saturday! 🎆

Here are we again, another Saturday, another Spotlight! This time, it’s @akumu-jubokko !!! I am so sorry I am late in getting around to this. I started writing yesterday, and then realized I forgot to highlight your fics? So yeah, had to go back to redo it all.

@akumu-jubokko

Before I begin with this week’s spotlight, some things to note:

These Spotlight Saturdays are my way of saying thank you and giving some love to my friends and other content creators in the fandoms I’m in. SO, as long as I am physically able to, I will spotlight someone. If I haven’t gotten to you yet, chances are, I will, at some point in the future.

If you want to nominate someone for it, or want to nominate yourself (hey, give yourself some credit too!) then please go ahead and add their name to the sheet I have up here. My only request is that if the artist or fic writer does do a lot of NSFW work/writing, you note it for me.  

REBLOGS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

That all said, here we go with this week’s Spotlighted Author (and artist):

AKUMU-JUBOKKO! 

Where shall I begin?

So, let me start by saying that as I started doing this post yesterday, admiring Akumu-Jubokko (Laz)’s artwork, I realized something important. 

I had completely and entirely forgotten their fics. 

So, yes, this here folks, is another talented creator who not only draws but writes as well. And just, everything they create has caught my attention! I will readily admit that I have not read everything they have done, but I love love love their A Found Family series. My favorite fic in the series has to be Demons in the Garden but Rainfall is just superb too. I can’t get over the imagery, the way Laz is able to take ordinary words and paint scenes with sentences in such a way that you are not only drawn into the story, but find yourself avidly consuming it, blissfully sighing at the end when you’ve come to hit the kudos button or leave a comment. 

I’m woefully behind on reading all of Laz’s stories. I really am. And I will readily admit that I haven’t read all of @akumu-jubokko ’s works that tend to be dark or contain trigger warnings (you have to be in the mood to read some of those), but because Laz wrote them, I know that when I finally make my over to read them, I will be just as awed. 

And I really do mean this, and not just as empty praise. I’ve been reading fanfiction for half of my life now, 15 years, and I can tell when I see a talented author. I’m still reeling from how good Rainfall was, and I know I will go back and read it again and again and again, falling in love with the prose and the writing each and every time, finding new things to gush and be astounded by. 

Akumu-Jubokko has a series of fiction on A03 titled Kaka-Iru Oneshots to Heal (or Break) your Heart. Please, if you’re looking for really good work to read by a talented author, take a look at those. BE MINDFUL of the warnings. My personal favorite in the series is Under the Morning Sun because I love fluff, but I bet all of them are good. (I have yet to catch up reading all of the stories, but I will soon!) 

Quick note: Laz is really proud of the Chaos, Drama, and Shinobi Politics Series. So, if after reading this spotlight, you’re not sure where to start, I suggest beginning there and making your way through this talented fic writer’s work. 

OH, and wait, there’s more!

I mentioned that akumu-jubokko is an artist too!!!!  🎨

I think if I sat here trying to showcase all of the artwork we’d be here all day. So, here’s a look at first their archive: just go through it at your leisure when you have time.  WARNING: There are some darker art pieces so be warned of that. 

Here are some pieces I want to highlight for your attention though: 

Kakashi with Long Hair:  Just can’t stop staring at this one. 

Sage Mode Tenzo: I just can’t okay? The lines, the sharpness, the details in Tenzo’s face. 

Iruka with Wings: The colors and the details on the wings are amazing! 

Anbu Fighting: Just really good one that I liked and keep staring at. I know that the title I’ve given it makes it sound like a museum piece, but it’s a really good depiction of Anbu Fighting. 

Laz also has some Jujutsu Kaisen artwork too such as this one. 

AND….After all of that, if you’re wondering, and asking, “But what is the artwork that @akumu-jubokko ​ is most proud of? Well, how about the Underwater series? 

JUST LOOK AT THIS MASTERPIECE! 

Just, I am floored by Laz’s creative skills not just in writing, but art too. 

AFTER ALL OF THIS, FINALLY: I want to say THANK YOU! Akumu-Jubokko (Laz) you are such a talented person in this fandom, and I am so grateful to have stubmled upon your art and your writing. I think the one thing that I’ve learned in my Spotight series so far, is that I am constantly surrounded by amazing talent, and people who have become good friends to me, people I actively follow (and whose fics or fanart I enjoy) and people who are so kind and friendly to me too! Please, keep being, you and please continue to share your talents with us for as long as you can! I am so grateful to be one of many who get to see the fruits of your labor! 

And as, usual, a gift to just finish things off, and sum up my feelings from the post. (Not the best quality, but Simon’s words are 100% true here).

[hazelbeka-blog]

It's perfect, Babs! I love them! You know me so well 😂 I love Iruka's face, he's such a little shit ❤️

@hazelbeka-blog while you didn’t ask for anything specific I knew that I just had to draw the teen terrors being absolute assholes. I love your stories so very much and you were one of the first people to welcome me to the fandom so all my love forever!

https://ko-fi.com/animetrashmuffin

[hazelbeka-blog]

This server is a lovely place! Lots of cool people to talk to

Kakairu Discord Server

Just a reminder that the Kakairu Discord Server is open to all new members! Join us for fun events, conversations and the cutest emojis around!

Join the fun!

[hazelbeka-blog]

Thanks for the tag Laz <3 There’s so much going on in your sentence omg, I’m intrigued.

Here’s mine, completely sans context:

“You’re very sweet when you don’t think I’m conspiring to lure Kakashi away with my cleavage.”

I’ll tag @stupidbadgers @jessicamiriamdrew @menecio @vulcan-highblood

I know a couple of those people have already been tagged...but hey...if you have multiple wips then that’s an excuse to do it twice...

WIP Tag Game

I was tagged by @phoenixyfriend

Rules: share the latest line from your work in progress and then tag as many people as there are words in the line.

Keisuke stroked his cheek, and he snuggled into the touch, lashes fluttering closed.

Not a Kakashi Bingo fic, in fact an entirely new fandom in so many ways. >.>

Tagging: @mad-madam-m, @akumu-jubokko, @vulcan-highblood, @magnustesla, @emilx311, and I’m not tagging that many people even if it’s a more reasonable number than my sentences often are. ^^; If you want to play, consider yourself tagged by me~

[hazelbeka-blog]

For Kakairu Month Day 15: Seal/Fuinjustu hosted by @kakairu-fest

So remember when I said if you’re talking ANBU you have to talk about @hazelbeka-blog‘s fics? That also goes for seals because Hazel writes amazing seals master Iruka fics and I love them. One of my favorites has always been To Catch a Spider so I thought I would try to adapt it to a one page comic.

[hazelbeka-blog]

The expressions are SPOT ON, I’m dead

For Kakairu Month Day 9: ANBU hosted by @kakairu-fest

If we’re talking ANBU then we’re talking @hazelbeka-blog because their ANBU stories are AMAZING and this is from their fic Something Borrowed which hilarious, sweet, tense, and just so so good. I both love drawing ANBU and hate it because the arm guards KILL ME but also…good boots and ARMS.

[hazelbeka-blog]

I got another commission of Kawaguchi. Art by lovesnametag on instagram

[hazelbeka-blog]

I LOVE THIS

Call my name, see the ghost of the past I became.

Of this world, I am lost in the shadow left to feed off the old war’s debris. It’s too big for an innocent child that is forced to grow up, don’t you see?

In the village, I walk unnoticed – every grownup stares right through me. On my tasks, I try to stay focused, while the one thing I want is to scream.

Scream out loud at the people, the street to be heard for a second, be seen. In this world, do I even exist? How, a child, would I even know this?

Call my name, bring me back to the living, again.

***

Inspired by Building Traps for Gods by @hazelbeka-blog​

[hazelbeka-blog]

Do HAZEL for the fanfic ask meme? :D Your choice of fic for [insert fic]~

Thanks for the ask, Kage! <3

H: How would you describe your style?

God, what a question! I’ve reached a point where I do have a feel for what my style is but can I explain it in words??? I think the main cornerstones of my style currently are evocative descriptions, witty dialogue, and a mixture of darker themes with humour

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Let’s go with Something Borrowed because I was quite proud of that one. The basic concept is that a ghost bride is possessing people on their wedding days, so the title is a play on words. It comes from that old rhyme about what a bride is supposed to wear to their wedding: ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’. Since possession is ‘borrowing’ someone’s body, it fit very neatly into both main themes!

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I have technically written it in From the Dust, though it was a non-permanent MCD. I’ve read a few stories with MCD endings though I have to be in the mood for a tragedy. I don’t know if I would ever write permanent MCD – I’ve had a couple of ideas involving it but on the whole I tend towards hopeful or outright happy endings so I don’t know if I could actually go through with a sad ending!

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

Let’s stick with Something Borrowed. I think it would be fun for Iruka and Kakashi to become the ANBU team who get stuck with all the weird cases after their ghost hunting shenanigans. Any time something vaguely supernatural comes up, they’re assigned to it, to Iruka’s constant chagrin. I don’t know what the plot would be, but Iruka and Kakashi flirting and bantering their way through a spooky mission while they’re also fighting ghosts/youkai/monsters would be the general vibe.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

It varies wildly. Oneshots I generally just pass over once for some light-touch editing and then I might also do a proofread unless I’m feeling lazy. For longer fics, though, I do most of my macro editing as I go – so the big stuff like rewriting/deleting/adding whole scenes, adding/removing characters, changing plot points, etc. I’ve been known to rewrite the same scene four times, whereas other scenes I get right first time. Once I’m happy with all that bigger stuff, I finish the chapter/fic and then come back over to do a sentence-level editing round. I say sentence-level, but I might also delete/rewrite whole passages at this stage. Then I’ll do a final proofread and maybe neaten up the prose a tiny bit more before I post

[hazelbeka-blog]

G and Y! <3

Thanks for the ask, Jinx! <3

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

From start to finish, generally speaking. For me, I often have a lot of plots/subplots and character arcs, and so I’m constantly dealing with things like when to reveal certain information or how to foreshadow future events or build up to characters’ epiphanies etc. so it’s easier for me to do this in order since each scene will influence future scenes. However, I do sometimes change my mind about things later on and then I’ll have to go back and rewrite scenes in order to reverse engineer those plot and character threads. I try my hardest not to do that too much though because there can be knock-on effects that I have to catch, like if I erase a character from scene 2 then I need to make sure no one refers to him being there in scene 3 etc.

Y: A character you want to protect.

The kids! Naruto and Sasuke especially because they’re been through so much, but also Sakura because those three come as a trio as far as I’m concerned <3 I have a ‘save Sasuke’ agenda, although you might not think it considering some of my fics haha