hazelwander

[hazelwander]

"I'm not sure I understand. What does that mean about me?"

The girl smacks her lips softly. I look at her, in confusion. It feels like every word of hers zips right past me, like her meaning is innacessible on purpose.

The girl answers, after a thought. "Well, what do you think it should mean for you?"

She smiles.

"I- I don't know what that question means." It feels very odd, to hear her web of words, and look upon it, as something that screams to me it ought to make sense, a sense which I can't find it within me to untangle.

"Tsk, tsk. Silly you." She giggles softly. "Let me start from the beginning one more time, then."

I nod. "Okay." My head feels odd, as if weighed down. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"So." She takes a brief pause, breathes in. "You have me, in front of you, right?"

That makes sense, yeah. She's here, in front of me. "I think I understand so far, yeah."

"And then, you have you, right here," she continues.

So far so good. "Yup." It's not too confusing, for now.

"And then," She pauses again, gestures vaguely. "You have the world, around us."

"Around us, yeah." That makes sense. It all makes sense.

"You have my voice, and you have your voice." She continues, "You listen to my voice and I listen to yours."

"Of course, yeah. My voice, and your voice." And I listen to her voice.

"So you listen intently to my voice, because it's important."

"I do, I want to understand. So I need to make sure I listen."

I need to make sure I listen.

"And so you have us two together on one side, and the rest of the world on the other."

That talk of sides is a little confusing. The rest of the world is more around than aside, but it makes sense. And she's her and I'm me, and we're together so we make the other side. It makes sense.

"So far so good."

"So then, you have my voice and your voice, together."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Why?"

"I'm the one saying that, but it should be you saying it."

"And why is that?"

"You're the one explaining, and I'm the one trying to understand." I pause for a second. "That means I can't be the one explaining too."

"Why not?"

"If you're explaining, you should be the one saying this." Why did I say this?

"That's not the right question, the right mindset."

"What you're saying is that the only way you know you didn't say this is that it doesn't make sense for you to say it?"

"What do you mean."

"Your only tell is wether the words said fit the qualia of a role you assigned both yourself and I."

"But if that qualia is gone then what else is there to differen-tiate?"

"You're confusing me." My head is starting to ache a bit.

"Let me reexplain." She pauses, seems to think. "You have your voice and mine together on one 'side' and the rest on the other, right?"

"Yeah. I understand that much."

"Then, if your and my words are together, what keeps us apart?"

"I don't get it."

"In an other way- What am I? What are you?"

"I- " I think about it for a second. That question just doesn't make sense. "You're you, and I'm me. Right now, you're explaining me something that I can't understand. But later, maybe something else."

"Think beyond that. What tells you that something is me or that something is you?"

"Well right now I'm the one talking."

"And what tells you that?"

"It wouldn't make sense if you were the one talking."

"Why?"

"It's not your voice."

"Not my voice?"

A pause. We both look at each other. I think about how much I had to expain this, again and again. I hope he understands. We're waiting for him, the rest of us. Waiting for him to understand.

Finally, I speak again. "What is your voice?" What makes a voice as his?

"Well my voice is the one that. Well."

"You understand what I mean?"

"You have my voice and your voice?"

"And these two voices are together on one side, and the rest of the world on the other."

"Yeah but."

"But?"

"I'm not sure I understand. What does that mean about me?"

[hazelwander]

How come every "boy" that I can get my hands on always wanted this?

One girl woke up, saw her self in the mirror posed in front of her, cuffs pinning her hands against the wall, wearing the most embarrassing maid dress and the boldest makeup yet- AND FIRST THING SHE SAID WAS "Yippee!"

???

[hazelwander]

If i had an evil doppelganger i would simply invite it to come live with me. if i can get a wfh job so can it, i'll even let it borrow my resume. Cut our housing costs in half. Double our odds of getting chores done because we each know the other is Watching And Judging if we don't do the thing we said we were gonna do. Way easier to make the bed. Write twice as fast by trading off outlining and drafting. Sure i'd occasionally lose some sleep from holding my bedroom door shut at 3 a.m. while it tries to force its way in to murder me, but what roommate is perfect

[hazelwander]

Not sure exactly how I look in a jester outfit but I guess this is my life now, cleaning up after Harley.

Spin my picker wheels and tell me how screwed you are!

You are a random Gotham citizen having a chance meeting with one of the rogues gallery. Who are they and what do they want from you?

[hazelwander]

*looks at the introjects who decline to get involved saying they don't want to interfere with my creative process like this is literally about you fam asdfghjkl*

sometimes i lock in too hard when writing that it feels like the spirits of the characters are possessing my body.

[hazelwander]

i love the idea of earth pony strength. i extra love the idea of cadance being super caught off guard when her sweet lovely gentle gf lifts her up into the air without thinking. hehehe :3

kofi donors this and the progress for this early >:3cc

[hazelwander]

marathon reboot lore is continuing to get increasingly insane if you aren't keeping up btw. turns out nearly the entire art style was stolen from an artist that the art director follows on twitter. truly this is the biggest crash and burn of all time

NO FUCKING WAY. entirely believable, I just thought MAYBE sony was forcing them in that direction lmao

[hazelwander]

upsides of listening to music:

music yay yay yay!!!!!! yaaaaay!!!! yipee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

downsides of listening to music

if you listen to the right song for the first time while in a certain headspace you will be changed forever as your soul shutters and warps and contorts into new forms never before seen

get an idea for an animatic you will never finish

[hazelwander]

[hazelwander]

a classic

[hazelwander]

Helpful summary of whatever the fuck is going on on twitter right now in case anyone is not up to date

[hazelwander]

New Vegas mod where The King can marry you to your human/human-like companions.

Companions where you have progressed their personal quests have no prerequisite. If you haven't progressed their personal quests you have to drink like 20 beers first and pass a speech check.

Mini Fetch Quest needed to buy rings from Mick and Ralph before you can get married.

You can marry Ed-E because I think that would be funny

[hazelwander]

My favourite Eliot Spencer character trait is Friend-shaped To Children. Nate can't look at children without crying. Sophie is politely baffled at the concept of Humans Who Don't Understand Complicated Psychological Concepts Because They Are Literally 6 Years Old. Hardison has older brother energy, which is to say children are comfortable in his presence but they don't actively seek him out, unless of course to play an epic prank akin to the great tradition of Ring and Ditch or Spell ICUP. Parker will try to protect any child she can, but under-12s without autistic criminal intent don't really connect with her, unless of course they are Traumatized™.

Eliot Spencer is continuously sought out by children of all ages. Traumatized or not? Does not matter. Literally baby or cool teen? Does not matter. They will come up to him while he is glaring daggers or actively planning to murder someone and ask him to hold their hands through the security check at the airport. And you know what? He does. He holds their hand every single time.

[hazelwander]

Not only is Bruce their dad. He is somehow simultaneously also their mom

He gets called them interchangeably on a good day

One of them will need comfort and they’ll knock Bruce’s hands away and be like “No! I don’t want Dad Bruce, I want Mom Bruce.”

All the kids can just… sense a change in energy or something lol

[hazelwander]

i think in the end furries will always win. in whatever time it takes i think people are going to realize anthropomorphism is so deeply ingrained in us as creatures that to even invent a hatred of the concept to begin with is like hating the concept of telling stories or singing or dancing

[hazelwander]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there