hcpewings

[hcpewings]

my dude. that reblog was SAVAGE!

hehe...so, look—maybe i'm in my cas feels tonight. SUE ME!

y'know, i truly thought they couldn't make season 5 hurt any worse, having to sit there and watch dean lose his last hope. and then they proved me wrong, because i had to watch an angel lose his religion. when the nameless voice that created you starts to feel just a little too distant, when you're starting to lose your faith in what's kept you going for...what, centuries? millennia, at that point? what do you even do?

especially in s5: because cas gives up so much for humanity; for these two humans, specifically, and the little family they have. [i constantly think about that group photo that they took (and subsequently burned): ellen, jo, bobby, cas, sam, dean.] he's rebelling against everything he has ever known, for something that might not even work. for a possibility. and it works out, yeah—but not even an angel can see the future.

so until then, it's just...the pain of losing your home. the pain of losing people you thought were family. until maybe you looked a little too closely.

plus, if i can ever bring a little angst to the dash, i'm GONNA do it. it's like. a rule. y'know? HAKDGKSF

[hcpewings]

[hcpewings]

"...well." Not technically from the stars. Heaven was more holy, less...cosmic. As far as he knew, at least. At their latter comments, however, Cas didn't say a word; nodding along instead. Clearly this was a high compliment when it came to Bern; far be it from Cas to tell them otherwise.

Dean's words had him straightening up, a flicker of panic thinking something's wrong. "We're fine" got tangled in Bern's "we're busy," and he blinked, wondering if anything from that mess of an answer had made it through to the other end. Bern's retort gained another look of confusion, how could a sound be melded to anything?—but before he could inquire further the radio was turned down once again, and the music kicked back in.

Bowie streamed through the earbuds once more, and he listened silently, words settling in his head. The meaning of the song itself wasn't completely apparent to him, but it clearly meant a great deal to Bern, and so he waited until the outro trailed off to speak again. "...what's it about?"

"You're from the stars, right? It seemed fitting." They risked a glance toward the angel, and he didn't look half as indifferent as they thought he'd be. The song was paused, because Bern didn't want to talk over it. "Listen, the closest thing I have to religion? Is David Bowie, alright, it's high praise."

The radio chose that moment to crackle, maybe indignant for being turned down during what was supposed to be a mission.

"Are you two alive over there?" Dean's electronic voice swelled in volume with a turn of the dial, and Bern pulled the receiver off the dock.

"We're busy!"

"Doing WHAT?"

"Learning music that isn't melded with your car, that's what!"

"The hell's wrong with my MUSIC-" was as much as Dean got out before the volume knob received a violent twist to the left, and the receiver was returned. "We're doing important work here, don't listen to him. Listen to this." Starman was switched back on, and sung with a touch more enthusiasm that time. Both at the fact Cas didn't seem to hate it, and Dean was probably still bitching unheard over the radio. It was high time Cas learned the words to his own song.

[hcpewings]

"...but you just said you understood." His brows furrow as he steps closer to the desk, sinking into the spare chair across from it. Was this one of those instances where people said one thing and meant something else? Why did they continuously insist on doing that?

Shifters. It's been a while since Cas has seen one of those, and he isn't particularly upset about it. Shapeshifters can be a nightmare to deal with if you don't have a reliable way of keeping track of them. He nods. "In a way, it's like switching vessels except...more permanent, it seems." At their latter comment, he pauses. "Dean would hate that," he confirms bluntly. The idea...does hold a bit of humor, however.

"I...could help with that, you know." He tilts his head, curious. "When was the last time you slept a full night, Bern?"

"Everything's fine here. Thanks for checking." The pointed question was met with a tired laugh, and Bern scrubbed a hand over their face. "Yeah, yeah, we do. I wish my brain understood that."

It seemed only Dean could rival their insomnia. Going to hell and back, watching his mother burn, raising Sammy his damn self, and trying to save every person on earth had taken its toll. By that metric, Bern shouldn't have had one single god damn issue sleeping at night, but alas.

"Well. I was reading," they stood the old leather-bound book up and spun it to show Cas the faded cover, "about shapeshifters. And it is not as exciting as I hoped it would be. I'm kinda jealous, honestly. If I could get the strain that isn't gooey, I'd be into it. Tits? Gone. Uterus? Gone. Curves? Gone. And then I'd never have to turn into another person again... I take that back, I'd turn into Dean. Just to mess with him."

They set the book down with a soft thud, and melted back into Bobby's desk chair. "I'm hoping I do sleep tonight, because fuck if I don't need it."

[hcpewings]

He knew how fate could feel like a ball-and-chain; no stranger to the sensation himself. Shaking it can seem nearly insurmountable at times, but once you do it? The freedom is unmatchable.

He pauses, blinking a few times at the reveal. "...my apologies," he offers after a beat, hands folding together awkwardly. The moment may be awkward, but Cas's words are genuine. He had never been very good at comfort, but listening, he can do.

"Would...you like to talk about it?" he asks, echoing her words from seconds ago.

Be the reason the universe has to reroute. Jane bit back a grimace at the idea. Her, in charge of her life? Laughable. It felt like fate was a living creature with its claws sunk into her, dragging her along. At least she could find a little happiness in her life, she supposed.

Then his words made her freeze. She kept her gaze averted, one hand reaching up to fiddle with her caramel-colored hair.

She didn't want to bother him. Burden him.

But god, she needed someone, anyone to talk to.

"My m-mama died." She crossed her arms tight against her chest. "When--When I was l-little."

[hcpewings]

"Thank god." He waves a hand dismissively, "it's fine. Stain remover is honestly better. Bleach will lighten the color. Though—" he tilts his head, closing the lid "—the chlorine is probably what does it, so I guess non-chlorine bleach...might not. Which is probably why it's recommended." Glancing over his shoulder at Cas, he almost does a double take. The angel without his coat is an abnormal sight to see. "God, that's weird. Okay. Let's get this clean."

"Because they don't expect people to be staining their clothes constantly," he sighs, tugging the knob to start the washer. "And definitely not with blood." He shrugs, leaning against the front of the machine as he turns back to face Cas. "Instructions have to be written for common, everyday use. They can't include every possible scenario; that tag would stretch out the door and down the hall." Gesturing towards the room behind them, Kevin shakes his head. "And they don't want to pay for all that tag."

The coat was handed over, though the scowl remained. Not an ounce of his ire was for Kevin. For once, for once, humanity handed him clear instructions, and snatched them away in the same instant. It was difficult not to be frustrated at the betrayal.

"I was aware not to use hot water. Bobby told me that much." Still, he watched Kevin work, forever taking note of quantities and settings for future use. "I did use stain remover. We didn't have the non-chlorine bleach it wanted me to use."

Castiel looked odd without his trademark trench. Clad in just Jimmy's suit and tie, his silhouette was slimmer. Less imposing. "If hot water sets stains, why would companies include it in the instructions? That's deceptive."

[hcpewings]

1) the song you think best represents Castiel

okay so when i first read this. i was like "this is cruel. this is so mean of you. how could i ever pick just one." ...and then i realized—angel with a shotgun is a cliche for a reason.

jokes aside, that really is one of my favorite songs for representing cas—especially early cas. seasons 4 through 7? damn, kid—you're gonna go far. and then you did. and then you really shouldn't have. it follows the arcs scarily well. i also like thinking about it in terms of him and dean; i think dean could take some of those lyrics too.

alternatively, i feel the sound of silence (the original simon & garfunkel; it's just more his vibe) fits really well for him. again, especially for early season cas—season 4 and 5, mostly, some of 6. it reminds me of cas and his early relationship with god, religion, heaven in general. the early heaven, the early angels. that scene between him and anna when he starts "considering disobedience," as he puts it. it sort of sums up that loneliness that can come with faith—yes, it's always there, but if it isn't tangible, is it real?

one last bonus—not strong enough by boygenius. i don't know why this represents cas to me. but it does. i dunno. see if you agree.

[hcpewings]

>>hallelujah, lock and load!<< how do you keep going? by putting one foot in front of the other. once ya realized there's no escape? all you had left was to.. lock your jaw. set your sights on the target. you're a case study on how much glue can fill in the cracks til you can't unshatter. >>give'em hell, kid!<< independent, highly selective and private. sam winchester. horror based. set in kripke's supernatural. HEAVY AND HIGHLY TRIGGERING THEMES! no one under 21+. written by: dixon.

[hcpewings]

"You know the coyote chases a roadrunner, and then the anvil gets dropped on his head." ↳ 8.08 - HUNTERI HEROICI

[hcpewings]

(very slowly) working through drafts tonight! been hard at work on my massive general multimuse account all weekend, trying to get that up and running. i've been trying for months but who knows—maybe this is the month i finally get it running!

anywhoodle, while i wade through these drafts, feel free to hit me up in ims or in the askbox if you'd like! trying to get over my dm anxiety LMAO! (mutuals if you'd like my discord, just ask! o7)

[hcpewings]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !

ALIAS. mayli / sen; your choice!

AGE. 21+

ZODIAC. aries sun, cancer moon, gemini rising!

HEIGHT.  almost 5'10" >.>

HOBBIES. reading, writing/roleplay, cosplay, drawing/coloring, dance, violin, listening to music.

FAVORITE COLOR.  too many. probably blue.

FAVORITE BOOKS.  don't make me choose amongst my children. how could you. probably the six of crows duology by leigh bardugo. for today. it could change. it will change.

LAST SONG. angel with a shotgun by the cab. (i was listening to my cas playlist leave me be)

LAST MOVIE. how to train your dragon (2025). (it was really good!! totally threw me back into my dragons phase though >.>)

LAST SHOW. lucifer (completed), supernatural (ongoing – i'm on s12 o7), smash (nbc) (ongoing – comfort rewatch before peacock removes it </3)

RECENT READ. dragonlance: war of the twins (ongoing), dragonlance: time of the twins (last finished), the hunger games (up next)

FUN FACT. currently working towards my bachelors in studio art with the hope to go into video games. i've done irish dance for fifteen years.

tagged by: @learningtodie tagging: anyone!!!

[hcpewings]

At the nudge, he glanced to his left, noticing the piece of plastic in Bern's hand. He had seen the other use them multiple times; they went in your ears, and then you could listen to music, similar to the way the radio in Baby worked—except when you did it this way, no one else could hear what you did. The monsters inside had done nothing in the past hour, and Dean and Bobby weren't far. Silently, he nodded, taking the offered earbud and slipping it as best he could into one ear.

After a couple of seconds, the song began, and Bern started to sing along. Cas listened along in silence, paying attention to the words, as he usually did. The chorus in particular caught his ear, and he cocked his head slightly as he listened, eyes still focused on the bar across from them. Their voice intertwined nicely with the music playing in his one ear, and he smiled slightly.

"Starman," he echoed when the instrumental picked up again, voice gravelly after being quiet for so long. "Is that why you call me that? Because of the song?" He didn't see the immediate correlation, but the word was too unusual to be a coincidence.

𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺 . ∗ o4﹕ sender  offers  receiver  an  earbud  to  share  their  music . + reverse! @hcpewings | from cas!

At some point while Dean and Bobby were chatting back and forth over the radio from their two respective cars, Bern pulled out their left earbud and offered it to Cas with a silent nudge against his arm. It was going on hour two in the pair's own designated vehicle, waiting for the supposed monsters inside the bar to do something. Bern held out the offered plastic without a word, flipping through songs on their beaten-up MP3 player until landing on the one they wanted. Bern had no idea the song might sound somewhat familiar to the angel already. The musical intro started, and with music in one ear, Bern stared out the windshield and sang along. Hardly on par with David Bowie, but they could match pitch easy enough.

"Didn't know what time it was, the lights were low-oh-oh, I leaned back, on my radio-o-o, some cat was layin' down some - rock'n'roll, "Lotta soul," he said... Then the loud sound did seem to fay-ay-ade, came back like a slow voice on a wave of phay-ay-ase, that weren't no DJ, that was hazy cosmic jive."

Bern smiled at the instrumental drop of what they had begun to think of as Castiel's song, and the chorus was why. They thought of him every time it played.

"There's a Starman, waiting in the sky. He'd LIKE to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds! There's a Starman, waiting in the sky. He's told us not to blow it, 'cause he knows it's all worthwhile, he told me!"

Even the radio chatter had died in favor of the MP3 player, and Bern was still staring out the windshield as they sang. If Cas wasn't enjoying it on any level, they could find out after the moment had passed. For right now? Sharing it was enough.

[hcpewings]

Cas glances at her sideways for a moment, staying quiet until she returns the question. "Sometimes...things that are unexpected happen. Sometimes, you have to just...follow the universe's plans." He hesitates. "Other times, you have to be the reason the universe has to reroute." It had taken him far longer than it should've to learn this, but he had gotten there, in the end. Wasn't that what mattered?

"I...sense as though I'm not the only one speaking from experience," he adds carefully. Asking directly seems too touchy; something Dean would have told him off for. So he stops there instead, glancing at her once again.

"fate trips up sometimes."

[ @hcpewings | from castiel! ]

Jane blinked--then averted her gaze and gulped. Hard. She thought, briefly, of everything she'd been through, and felt her heart begin to race.

"...yeah," she agreed quietly. "It d-does." Then she frowned. "You s-sound...as if y-you know from--from experience." She bit her lip. "Did you--wanna t-talk about it?"

---

FAMILY IS FOUND

[hcpewings]

co-parent. both of our characters suddenly have to raise a child together.

( honestly ... whatever pairing you think would be the most ridiculous and silly )

"Bobby," as if the weeping of the small child can't be heard throughout every corner of the house, the weary angel pokes his head around the dividing wall between the kitchen and the living room. "It won't stop. I don't know what it wants."

The baby was so small, and completely incapable of human speech—which Cas could find trying on a good day. He had since decided, however, that no speech was absolutely worse. "I've tried the food option and the milk option. What else is there?"

[hcpewings]

"This body is just a 'vessel', right? Well, what do you look like, really? You, I mean? The real you? Do you have any physical form then?" (Hilda has about a million questions in one for Cas, whoops)

His eyebrows raise slightly at the onslaught of questions. Quickly, he holds up a hand to her, a slight smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Firstly, yes, this is a vessel. And that's...a bit of a—difficult question. Most humans, from what I've heard," he gestures as if nodding to some nonexistent other person, "perceive angels as just a figure of blindingly white light. Um—though sometimes we can come across as thunderous booming, sparking lightbulbs, and television static." His face is entirely serious, gravely so, as he recalls his earliest encounters on planet Earth.

"I...don't believe we have a more physical form. Not one humans would call physical, at least. Not without a vessel." He gives her a small shrug. "But vessels require consent, and not every angel can be...lucky enough to get that." He pauses, glancing back at her. "Do you...have any other questions? I'm happy to answer."

[hcpewings]

send 🎧 plus a number for me to post:

the song i think best represents my muse

a song that represents my muse's past

a song that represents my muse's darkest moment

a song that might play in a lighthearted battle against my muse

a song that might play in a serious battle against my muse

a song that represents my muse's world view

a funny song that fits my muse

a sad song that fits my muse

a meme song that fits my muse

a song my muse could sing

a song my muse would dedicate to yours

a song my muse would dedicate to their loved ones

a song my muse would dedicate to someone they hate

a song my muse hates

a song my muse loves

a song that doesn't fit my muse at all!

a song that might play in a tv show starring my muse as a protagonist

a random song from my muse's playlist

a song specifically from a tv show that fits my muse

a song specifically from an anime that fits my muse

a song specifically from a videogame that fits my muse

a song specifically from a movie that fits my muse

my favorite version of my muse's official theme, if they have one

my favorite fan remix of my muse's official theme, if they have one

[hcpewings]

castiel meme ↳ favourite arcs (1) : “i’m considering disobedience”