heatherdawn74 - Tumblr blog

[heatherdawn74]

Good morning

Well, my diet has been going okay but the exercise part has been quite hard. I'm a PI so I sit in a hot car all day conducting surveillance. By the time my day is over I'm so drained I just can't seem to find the strength to go back out in the heat and workout. I know it's a lame excuse but it's the truth. I'm just gonna have to man up and get my ass out there. I don't know if I mentioned my heartbreak and how I'm struggling to get over it. Back in 2010, I met, who I thought was my soulmate. Over the course of two years I found out this man was a con and fraud. He lied to me about everything. He told me he was divorced but he was not. He told me he loved me but he did not. I was devastated to say the least. About two years after him, I met another man. It took me months to finally trust him enough to let him get close to me. Just as my heart was beginning to feel normal again, I found out this man was cheating on me. Again, I was hurt and my trust issues were back. Over the past several months I've learned that douchebag #1 was still cheating on his wife and still lying to the women he was meeting. This has brought back up the pains in my heart. I feel as though maybe I wasn't pretty enough or sexy enough or smart enough. Maybe I wasn't taking care of him the way he wanted me to. These last two failed relationships have caused me to question everything about me. So this brings me back to the diet and working out and becoming healthy. My entire life I was told men don't like overweight women and I guess now I'm finding out that's true. I know that until I'm happy with myself I won't meet a man who's happy with me either. So today is a new day and the beginning of a new week. I'm back on track and working towards my goal.

[heatherdawn74]

This me

I'm a 40 yrs old single woman. I've raised a beautiful daughter who's about be a mommy for the first time in just a few weeks. I'm passionate about my career as an insurance fraud investigator. I'm also a photographer when I find time. I travel quite a bit, mostly regional around LA, AR, TX, and MS. I'm in the slow process of healing a broken heart and trying like hell to maintain faith that I have a soul mate out there somewhere. New to this blogging so be patient please. I'm hoping to use this as an outlet to share the things I love most about life and to just work on being okay with who I am as a woman. Dating has not been much fun lately. I've had one serious relationship since my heartbreak but he cheated on me. I'm learning that most men my age don't care to settle down. Most have recently gotten a divorce and just want someone to be intimate with and not have a committed relationship. It's making hanging on to my dream of finding my soulmate and best friend really hard but I'm trying my best to hang in there. I'm back on track at getting healthy. I'm quitting the cigs and jogging daily. I'm watching my carb intake. My goal is to be down 50 pounds by January 2015. I can do it just have to stay focused. I'm also shifting my career towards claims adjusting. My life is taking some pretty major turns so I hope blogging about it will help maintain my focus. Here's to my new path :) Cheers