hedefect

[hedefect]

this is probably obvious, but for the moment, my portrayal of finn is retired. i don’t have much muse for him and i don’t really feel like i will anytime in the future. this blog is now an archive. feel free to add me on discord at feltraw or follow my only active blog here, but i have no expectations. thank you all sm for following and writing with me <3

[hedefect]

𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗢𝗡  .*✧───────  from star wars :  shattered empire.     shara bey’s husband,    poe dameron’s father,    yavin 4′s warmest home,    civilian ally of the resistance, former pathfinder special forces fighter for the rebel alliance.    a study in : unsteady hope,   steady aim,    and family over everything.  

[ . . . ] i walked through the valley of the shadow of death and i ── well, i feared a 𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿 𝘼𝙈𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙇! of course i did! i had a wife to get home to — a son! of course i feared evil. anybody who doesn't is either lying to you . . . or else they've never loved like i do.

carrd / og est. 2019 / re-est. 2025 / by maggie / #DMRN

[hedefect]

gonna be so real w. you guys ... these 12-14 hour long shifts are kicking my butt big time!! i still haven't gotten used to this new schedule and after friday, i'll be shifting to smth new so it's gonna take me a minute to go back to being like. semi active idek. i'm gonna be pretty sporadic on the dash and in dms, i'm real sorry about it :( but thanks for sticking around, i promise i'll be back soon <3

[hedefect]

ems aka earn money sleeping but my partners won't shut the fuck up so i can just nap :(

[hedefect]

okay i have to run away to bed bc work in the am but !! between calls i'm going to hassle everyone about plotting <333 gonna start with those who've filled out my interest tracker (tysm to everyone who has!) and then honestly just move down my following list lol. love you guys hope you all have a great timezone mwah mwah <3

[hedefect]

roster rn looking like a nightmare blunt rotation wym tyrone from cloak and dagger, kylo ren from star wars and zuko from atla are on the same blog .

instead of making solos for all the teeny ocs in my head i'm gonna make a multi methinks ... esp since all the cool kids are doing it

[hedefect]

instead of making solos for all the teeny ocs in my head i'm gonna make a multi methinks ... esp since all the cool kids are doing it

[hedefect]

okay i have to run away to bed bc work in the am but !! between calls i'm going to hassle everyone about plotting <333 gonna start with those who've filled out my interest tracker (tysm to everyone who has!) and then honestly just move down my following list lol. love you guys hope you all have a great timezone mwah mwah <3

[hedefect]

some slight housekeeping !

liberaetor -> hedefects. feels good feels organic feels nice to return to the ol stompin grounds

inbox has been sorted and is re-opened. once again, send memes!!

no longer gonna do starter calls. 9/10 time they're never replied to ( feel free to prove me wrong abt all the ones i've written so far tho ) and it stresses me the FAWK out. send memes instead, they never expire!!

plotting is required for any ic interactions. absolutely plugging finn's interest tracker again just bc it IS helpful even if i've been ignoring it, but i'm gonna slowly reach out to everyone and start drumming up something yummy for us both. or u can reach out! i'm loving it either way <3

no longer practicing mains/etc. got a real stinky anon abt this let me tell you!! but i don't entirely disagree w their argument so . this is subject to change based on chemistry btw i just don't see it happening anytime soon

and uhhh that should be everything. love you guys thanks for sticking around sorry for being so cringefail lately!

[hedefect]

don't shoot me for being a weeb but i keep getting bnha tiktoks on my fyp ... cried at every single one of them too

[hedefect]

think i've just been too damn serious abt this blog

[hedefect]

there’s  a  lot,  since  waking  up,  that  finn  has  struggled  with.  walking,  for  one,  is  a  big  one.  one  hundred-sixty  eight  hours  in  a  bacta  tank  and  finn  had  still  woken  up  with  the  need  for  physical  therapy.  it’s  right  on  the  heels  of  his  pt  that  finn  finds  his  other  struggle  :  time.  how  to  manage  the  unmanageable? 

finn  doesn’t  have  answers,  despite  how  long  he  spends  searching  within  himself  for  them.  at  least,  finn  consoles  himself,  there’s  no  taboo  against  asking.  it’s  still  a  bit  of  an  awkward  moment  for  finn,  the  remembering  it’s  allowed,  the  pushing  himself  to  speak,  but  after  a  tense  silence,  finn  opens  his  mouth,  unloading  his  thoughts,  seemingly  without  much  care  for  the  weight  of  them.  ❛  am  i  meant  to  understand  my  faults?  ❜

───── .𖥔 ݁ ˖ * 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴��� 𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻. 〈 @asteritm

[hedefect]

realized why i'm not here btw. i just don't know how to hold space in my brain for two different characters and unfortunately for finn ..... i got an oc Brewing .....

[hedefect]

applying to big girl jobs is so scary but INTERVIEWING for them? even scarier

[hedefect]

resistance/first order war but make it more of an espionage au .....

[hedefect]

trying to escape the Thoughts so umm someone give me movie / show recs

[hedefect]

it’s  the  aftermath  of  something  dirty  and  dark,  finn  clutching  his  heart  in  his  throat,  the  panic  rolling  over  him  in  waves,  nothing  he  can  show  to  anyone,  nothing  he  can  share  with  everyone.  it’s  a  dark  way  to  live,  a  terrible  life  to  lead,  but  he  finds  himself  in  this  corner  far  more  than  he’d  like  :  there  should  be  rage  that  follows,  a  deep  frustration.  hadn’t  he  tried  to  escape?  hadn’t  he  tried  to  run?  finn  had  made  a  choice  :  i  wasn’t  going  to  kill  for  them,  so  i  ran.

he’d  run,  alright,  right  into  leia  organa’s  clutching  embrace,  and  it’d  felt  very  right  and  warm  for  approximately  five  minutes.  the  world  had  restarted  after  that,  immediately  after  he’d  open  his  eyes  to  a  cold  medbay.  it’d  been  a  warning,  a  whisper  in  the  back  of  his  head,  that  same  advice  he’d  been  ignoring  since  jakku,  since  rey.  look  wher  doing  that  had  lead  him.

he  coughs  in  response  to  rembrin’s  question  —  a  general  query,  he  thinks,  a  pressing  concern  for  finn’s  health.  smart  to  worry,  finn  has  enough  consciousness  to  think,  because  he’s  a  bit  more  focused  on  clutching  at  his  side,  doing  his  best  to  keep  his  entrails  firmly  inside.  rembrin  says  something  else,  sounds  urgent  about  it.  finn  laughs  then  as  he  notices  the  edges  of  his  vision  going  a  bit  messy.

❛  ‘m  not  a  messiah,  ❜  he  says  byway  of  explanation.  it’s  said  more  to  the  heat  at  the  back  of  his  neck,  that  unrelenting  pressure.  he’s  apologetic,  as  much  as  he  can  be  on  the  edge  of  consciousness.  finn  is  sorry  for  it  all,  all  that  he’s  turned  out  to  be,  but  especially  because  there  are  no  survivors  from  this  mission.  ❛  just  a  mess.  ❜

      ─────       .𖥔 ݁ ˖ * 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻. 〈 @stainberry