heg3tstodieas4int

[heg3tstodieas4int]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[heg3tstodieas4int]

I’ve heard that violence isn’t the answer but whoever wrote that memo did it in a language I can’t read.

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i always ask god for signs and never get them, but lately i've been feeling like i have??

maybe i'm delusional. maybe i'm looking too hard for something. i don't know.

this is hard.

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i say i question their faiths in me as a joke (i don't mean it as one anymore)

[heg3tstodieas4int]

starting to feel down (down) again

[heg3tstodieas4int]

she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i told her

she's proud of me

maybe i didn't fuck up

[heg3tstodieas4int]

gf is going through it and now she's stressing that i won't tell her what's wrong with me

i feel like the shittiest person ever

it's upsetting her that i'm not saying but ik she'll be more upset by the thought that i think about sui so much

i don't know what to do

[heg3tstodieas4int]

gf is finally gonna see an counsellor for her shit but now i REALLY feel like i can't tell her

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i was gonna tell my gf tonight maybe cause im feeling slightly better but she just messaged me upset abt something i dont wanna stress her out more

[heg3tstodieas4int]

”you girls need to do more around the house” what about you, you fucking freeloader

[heg3tstodieas4int]

the hell guilt was pretty bad today but no joke i js wrote out the lyrics to mama and it lessened a bit

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i messaged my gf last night saying i needed to talk to her abt smth today but changed my mind

she kept asking me what was up no matter how often i asked her to drop it

i think she knows

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i waited half an hour, i gave up

[heg3tstodieas4int]

waiting for lifeline rn

[heg3tstodieas4int]

i'm so scared of dying

i'm so scared of burning

[heg3tstodieas4int]

if someone asks if I’m thinking about sui idk how to answer them?? because yeah i think about it a lot but not in an “i’m thinking of doing it” way, more of just thinking about it as a whole i guess