helenvader
helenvader
What do you know of dorkness?
14K posts
This one is a lady nearing her 50s, obsessed with The Rings of Power and the pathetic loser that is Mairon the Moron, Middle-earth's most innocent, never-done-anything-wrong, completely harmless Cinnamairon Roll.Currently deep in a Discworld renaissance era and completely UNHINGED about Havelock Vetinari. Co-owner of the Rings of Power fan blog the-southlands.tumblr.com ao3: helenvader my youtube channel
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helenvader · 5 hours ago
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saw an elderly woman walking around with a tote bag whose design were the four AO3 fic category squares and she very excitedly asked if i was a reader or a writer bcs nobody else at the con had recognized it, and after telling her that i've been writing fic since fanfic.net, she solemnly nodded and explained that she'd been reading fic since "the days of personal websites" but that she only started writing fanfic when she was 47 and oh my god when i tell you that i genuinely teared up on the spot!!!!! like!!! HELL YEAH???? LITERALLY NEVER TOO OLD TO START WRITING. NEVER TOO OLD TO WRITE AND SHARE YOUR FIC.
her enthusiastic "i'm a very nice and bubbly person, i swear! but i love writing angst and major character death :)" nearly took me the fuck out.
icon. legend. diva. i wish her nothing but a kajillion million comments and kudos. i hope her fic updates crash AO3. i hope she knows i'm promoting her to my personal patron saint of AO3.
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helenvader · 1 day ago
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Wordle 1,479 4/6
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helenvader · 1 day ago
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This is for those of my followers who don't know anything about Discworld, but my blog made them love Havelock, Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and the oddest person ever. :-)
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One of the Patrician’s greatest contributions to the reliable operation of Ankh-Morpork had been, very early in his administration, the legalizing of the ancient Guild of Thieves. Crime was always with us, he reasoned, and therefore, if you were going to have crime, it at least should be organized crime.
And so the Guild had been encouraged to come out of the shadows and build a big Guildhouse, take their place at civic banquets, and set up their training college with day-release courses and City and Guilds certificates and everything. In exchange for the winding down of the Watch, they agreed, while trying to keep their faces straight, to keep crime levels to a level to be determined annually. That way, everyone could plan ahead, said Lord Vetinari, and part of the uncertainty had been removed from the chaos that is life.
And then, a little while later, the Patrician summoned the leading thieves again and said, oh, by the way, there was something else. What was it, now? Oh, yes … I know who you are, he said. I know where you live. I know what kind of horse you ride.
I know where your wife has her hair done. I know where your lovely children, how old are they now, my, doesn’t time fly, I know where they play. So you won’t forget about what we agreed, will you? And he smiled.
So did they, after a fashion.
And in fact it had turned out very satisfactorily from everyone’s point of view. It took the head thieves a very little time to grow paunches and start having coats-of-arms made and meet in a proper building rather than smoky dens, which no-one had liked much. A complicated arrangement of receipts and vouchers saw to it that, while everyone was eligible for the attentions of the Guild, no-one had too much, and this was very acceptable – at least to those citizens who were rich enough to afford the quite reasonable premiums the Guild charged for an uninterrupted life. There was a strange foreign word for this: inn-sewer-ants. No-one knew exactly what it had originally meant, but Ankh-Morpork had made it its own.
The Watch hadn’t liked it, but the plain fact was that the thieves were far better at controlling crime than the Watch had ever been. After all, the Watch had to work twice as hard to cut crime just a little, whereas all the Guild had to do was to work less.
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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'The streets are safer than they used to be under Mad Lord Snapcase,' said Lady Selachii.
'Sa-fer? Vetinari set up the Thieves' Guild!' shouted Edward.
'Yes, yes, of course, very reprehensible, certainly. On the other hand, a modest annual payment and one walks in safety...'
'He always says,' said Lord Rust, 'that if you're going to have crime, it might as well be organised crime.'
Terry Pratchett / Men at Arms
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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Wordle 1,478 5/6
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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I'm bawling @sirensongster
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it's missing vetinari hours
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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so many different vetinaris rotating in my mind. in one world he is the gayest man to ever gay in another world he is the most aroace to ever aroace in yet another he is bisexual and living it up with vimes and sybil. in some universe he secretly plays the violin despite his proclamation of disliking instrumental music. a multiverse of trans vetinaris marches through my head. i have never been so ill over a character i fear this is the end.
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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I can promise you Ridcully, you have his full attention
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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Little sketch I should finish
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helenvader · 2 days ago
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🕸🐾
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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Wordle 1,477 4/6
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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Vetinari!!!
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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#me meeting anyone I dislike again
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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god dude but like the truth is the MOST we get of wuffles and hes always ALWAYS been the terrier vimes was being compared to vetinari's little attack lap dog and we learn wuffles calls vetinari GOD in his head and digs his teeth in and bites and bites ppl to the bone for hurting vetinari. vetinari's terrier. vimes spends the entire book digging and digging and not letting go bc he knows he KNOWS vetinari didn't do shit and is prepared to bite to the bone the moment he finds who did this to vetinari like i just
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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Started The Truth today and so far my opinion is that William DeWorde is a nerd (affecitonate) and Vetinari is a nerd (affectionate) and I think this is the first canon story I've read that actually mentions Wuffles by name. Nice to finally meet you king. I've heard so much about you.
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helenvader · 3 days ago
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i love imagining what havelocks doing in novels where he doesn't show up. in hogfather im imagining him getting ready for bed and his office being an actual living hazard level of freezing
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