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RadioSilenceWeek

Day 5 - “I love you.“ “I know.“

I love angsty smut 🙏🥹

Thought I had more time, but life goes on with its stressful woes….

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Old and gay and that's okay! 🌈✨️

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It’s time to share

my guest page for the zine *The Butcher‘s Bloom* from @samzikei

Thank you so much for having me on this wonderful project of this magical and whimsical AU 🫶 ❤️💛

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I wanted to post this today on Lesbian Visibility Day bc I am really happy that Vel is now confirmed to be a lesbian!!! That’s the best gift 🥺 I really needed more lesbians in the Hellaverse and was hoping it would be her!!! 🧡💛🤍🩷❤️

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As someone who is NOT touch-averse and moreso sex-favorable or sex-neutral (depending on my hormone level) and still discovering themselves when it comes to what my needs and wants in life are even though I am in my mid30s, I find The Ace Discourse around Alastor very stressful and unhelpful.

How both ends of this discourse talk about it and choose to portray Alastor feels very black and white to me, when that doesn’t reflect my experiences of romance and sex at all. And by this I don’t mean that theres a valid way of doing it and a nonvalid way of doing it. I think it’s more about how I would love people to understand relationships the way I see them and to explore the literal grey areas there.

I guess at some point we as a community need to spell the problems out, so I’ll try..,,

I think the biggest issue here mostly is that plenty of ppl who are ace and even sex-repulsed irl feel attraction to fictional characters and in many such cases that character is Alastor, they want to see him fuck or get fucked. So they like sexual and romantic content with him and try to write him to be demiromantic or sex-favorable or both or whatever else… and that is very valid and fair, because that does reflect the reality of many aroace people. Sometimes people completely erase the nuances there for the sake of smut and romance and I do not particularly like that, but I also lowkey just don’t care? My personal mantra after many years of being a messy fandom bitch is don’t like don’t read. People who like sexual and romantic content with Alastor often say they experience harassment from others who are lowkey just homophobic but use the fact that Alastor is ace as a reason to verbally attack them or threaten to dox them. The claim here is that those people are always allos, which I don’t think is necessarily true. However, I definitely have seen allos do this.

Other aces who are sex-repulsed even in fiction see Alastor as sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed ( I don’t even think theyre wrong at all, that is a very accurate observation from what you see in canon) and get annoyed because so much content with Alastor doesn’t reflect that at all. And that is also a very valid thing to be upset about! It is very unfortunate that Alastor is one of the few ace characters that fans get at all and he happens to be the most shipped guy. I understand why that is annoying, upsetting and feels unfair. I just also think that to claim the problem are allos and this is how allos mistreat ace representation not only erases aroace ppl who are Alastor shippers, but also conflates fanmade, transgressive content with the show. I just don’t think it’s healthy to get mad at people for liking the blorbo differently, especially considering that the ace spectrum is actually fairly wide and thus includes many, many different forms of handling sex and relationships and there simply isn’t just one way to represent it.

The issue here is getting into The Discourse about it, because it wont lead anywhere. Hence why people usually recommend that everyone stays in their lane, which I think is the startest thing you can do. At the end of the day it often seems like semantics to me anyways. One group claims *they said drawing Alastor smut is wrong because he is ace, but ace people can fuck!!!* and the other group claims *Claiming that it’s wrong to say this character is sex-repulsed because some ace people fuck is stupid!!!* and I think both are right. I just think you need to agree to disagree on this one, my dudes. Theres literally no way around it.

However, interestingly what oftentimes falls flat here is the most underrepresented form of aroace realities in fandom, which is the *somewhere in between*. The Alastor that I rarely see in fanfics or fanart, the one who fucks not for sexual pleasure, but to gain something. Or to be entertained. Or out of a masochistic of even sadistic desire. Or to form bonds, to maintain a relationship.

Point 1: sex-favorable doesn’t necessarily mean demisexual. And this is where it gets tricky.

I feel like many aces who maybe are younger, or have always been aware of being ace and/or who grew up with the identity labels maybe can’t imagine sex to be anything but something you consent to with great enthusiasm and desire for sexual pleasure. Many people who are so indifferent to sex or even repulsed by it consider this the only valid form of consent, because that is the line they would never cross. The problem just is that this is not what it’s like for many sex-favorable aces.

Point 2: Sexual attraction is not the same as a libido. You can be ace and not feel sexual attraction, but have a functioning libido

The reason why Heat/Rut works so well as a trope for aces who ship Alastor is because sometimes that is what it feels like for us. Hormonal fluctuations causing your body to seek out sexual stimulation while you personally really wouldnt know who to go to for it, because arousal is just a bodily reaction to you, not something that you want to happen. This might be confusing for many allos, because they also have a concept of difference between attraction and libido, but it’s important to point out that aces experience NO attraction. Or in the case of demisexuals, just very little attraction. Many aces experience attraction to concepts or if they are sexually experienced, they might have physical Pavlovian responses. But there’s no day to day attraction to people in the same way allos experience it.

Point 3: sex-neutrality and the problem if seeing sex as either inherently positive or inherently negative

Something I find myself relating to the most is a very neutral relationship to sex and I feel like that it something I never be talked about online. Not in fandom, not on Instagram. It feels like being a unicorn because if you are not either avoiding sex like the plague or enthusiastically consenting, you are not able to consent to sex somehow.

Idk if this has to do with people either never having had sex, or only having bad experiences or being a young allo and not understanding that sex is more than just plap plap plap uhn uhn SPLOURCH, but there’s a lot of reasons to have sex with someone CONSENSUALLY without it being about sexual pleasure. In my personal experience, I found the physical connection during sex very unique and powerful, it feels like a very neutral way of connecting to someone. It is very hard to explain with words, but I think it’s mostly about trust building and getting to know your partner physically in the most intimate way possible. Especially aces who arent aro often say this is why they have sex. It’s not something they need, but it’s about counting freckles, smiling at each other and feeling skin and just intimacy in general.

Having peaked into a few texts about psychoanalysis makes you realize that both allos and aces have sex for many reasons other than just sexual attraction.

In less romantic cases, ppl have sex because they enjoy the power dynamic, sometimes it’s to get your mind off of other things or because it’s a means to an end. Maybe even because you enjoy the vulnerability. Some people have sex because they think it’s just what you do, even if you technically don’t have to do it. And none of these scenarios happen nonconsensually to these people, because they just don’t think much of it and sex isn’t a big deal to them. That is the Definition of being sex-neutral. It’s also why some sex workers are ace and only find this out about themselves when they stop sex work and realize they don’t really miss having sex at all, but also don’t feel particularly bad about having done it.

Point 4: Aces love kink

I could write an entire essay about being ace and BDSM, this is still one of these topics where theres so much ressources online and people still get surprised when you tell them about it, but I already spend a lot of time on this post and would like to either never talk about this or maybe make a big post sometime in the future when people least expect it.

But just so you know: BDSM isn’t about sex, sex can play a role in it and does so for many people, but especially no-touch domsub, bondage, sadism and masochism can be activities that happen without sex being ever a part of it. Not even an afterthought.

I have read quite a few fanfics where any of these 4 points were explored with Alastor and I think it would do good for people to consider these options more for cool and interesting dynamics that are more unusual, especially considering the specifically weird flavor of Alastor. But at the end of the day people can write whatever they want and it’s not my business. If this post reaches even just one person and they feel like they gained new insights, that’s a win for me!

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alastor and vox doodle bc i'm distracted again!! xDD

what are they talking about??

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I think the jackpot of radiostatic fics/fanart work are the ones where it's plain clear that these are two middle-aged men we're talking about.

They're old, they're grumpy, they're fed up with everything, they're old-fashioned, they physically can't shut the fuck up. One of them is a dumpster racoon with torn clothes who's never heard of soap and doesn't give a fuck about societal rules and expectations, while the other is a class A blueprint stuck up greedy evil insecure toxic masculinity capitalistic businessman who's perfectionist ass can't have a hair out of place. Alastor has a dog brain but cat instincts, Vox has a cat brain with dog instincts. They're smart, except when they're together. One of them is a feared insidious eldrich horror textbook nightmare but pretty tame when you get to know him, while the other is beloved by the public and revered as an inspiration but a brutal abusive monster once you get to know him. They contrast each other so much they complete each other. Alastor’s incorrigible rebellious nature and superiority complex is inexplicably irresistible to Vox, while Vox's stickler anxiety to always care what other people think of him is prime entertainment and the funniest shit for Alastor. They can't have a healthy relationship because both of them are so emotionally constipated, manipulative, and narcissistic they don't know what feelings even are. "Who's top who's bottom who's submissive who's dominant?" bitch those are foreign concepts to them, they're both such insane control freaks that they're shattering those dynamics completely

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Can we talk about how insanely talented Kei is????? I can’t stop admiring their accuracy 🥰😍

And it’s such an honor to see my fem!Al in their style 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

ART STYLE CHALLENGE!

Thank you to all these lovely artists for letting me try to draw Alastor in your styles!!! This was so much fun. How accurate was I? XD Sorry I couldn't get to all the requested ones!

Artist's styles!

@reesebruh.bsky.social @lacebraonirica.bsky.social @itsgivingdemon.bsky.social @jetsamjunk.bsky.social @dingbatsy.bsky.social @hell-fm.bsky.social @madcheshirefox.bsky.social @spiderpotion.bsky.social @debergerac.bsky.social @freakasoid.bsky.social @lunavender.bsky.social

on bluesky

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Happy Ace Day! ♠️🩶🤍💜

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I wasnt able to contribute anything to Ace Alastor Week, but let’s celebrate asexuality day together at least!

💚🩶🤍🩶💜

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from beyond 👁️

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Thank you for this wonderful commission, @dingbatsy 🥰🥰🥰

Thank you for making me draw what I love most 🙏

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'So I came to visit your grave after all…'

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Vox Humiliation Week

Day 3: Findom

Milk that pay pig dry…. 😏🤭

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Joined the redraw wave to celebrate being in this fandom for a year!

The improvements make me so happy. I perfected the wife ✨

Redraw of (x)

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Any excuse to draw vox hands a billion times

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The sillies (i made this like a month ago but i totally forgot i had a tumblr account for some reason)