helloandwelcometomariasblog
helloandwelcometomariasblog
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Review #119: I am married... but!
I wasn't expecting this when I first started this Taiwanese series. I didn't expect it to make me think so deeply about marriage, relationships, men, and love. I don't have a ton of time, but I really want to get my thoughts down, so I'll have to make them brief.
Firstly, I loved how the pharmacist wasn't Rain in the end. I honestly thought he was for so many episodes. I did feel uncomfortable with the fact that she was basically cheating, and also found it quite cringey that they would really have that kind of "perfect guy" character in a drama that I had been finding more realistic than typical drama. I also couldn't believe how cringey someone could be and still be considered... genuine? It was hard to connect the dots, because the Rain in the app seemed so sincere and mature, whereas the pharmacist came off borderline sleazy and almost pushy even. I distinctly remember finding it hard to believe that the guy would fall so quickly for Lin and act as though she was his destined soulmate. Then it's revealed to us that he was in fact never Rain, and he in fact flirts around with everyone.
That scene where Lin catches him at the cinema with the other girl... that really hit me hard. It made me think of one of my recent dates. I went on a date with a guy around two months ago and he just seemed to say everything right, act in all the right ways, and made me feel as though I had found an incredibly rare connection. I think the biggest similarity he had with this Rain guy was that he was really good with his words. He had the right amount of 낭만, depth, maturity, philosophical thinking... I know it sounds cringey in text, but while getting to know him, I honestly found myself having so many deep conversations and we all know I'm weak when it comes to depth. It didn't work out in the end though, and seeing Rain at the cinema with that other girl... It made me realise that the guy I had gotten to know for that short time could very well be of a similar type. He probably does that to many other girls. That scene was actually somewhat cathartic for me, and made me realise what the reality actually might be, and that it's time to really let go. My feelings were sincere, but if they're not reciprocated, it really just is time to move on. I guess it's just sad that that's the reality for many occasions.
The drama also made me think of marriage and what kind of husband is a good husband. Marriage seems so difficult. Finding the right person to marry seems even more difficult. I know that nobody is perfect, but I guess - this is something the guy I dated said also - the important thing is, what can you tolerate? My goodness. He actually said, everyone has likeable traits. There is something to like about everyone. What matters is if you can deal with the unlikeable traits. See, this is why I liked him so much.
It's true though. And I see it in the marriages around me. Women who married men who are kind, understanding, not picky, relaxed, they suffer from that same man being indecisive, clueless, lacking emotional intelligence, etc. Then the women who married men who are leaders, ambitious, decisive, strong, also have to deal with the same man being controlling, harsh, critical, and picky. You just can't win. You have to ask yourself which one you can deal with more. Then I get to the conclusion of, then why marry at all? If it's a lifetime of dealing with things? That's why I think I can only get married if I know, in my heart and in my head, that I truly love this person. Then I would be able to deal with it all, even when it's hard. We need shared experiences that draw us closer and we need to both feel and know and choose to love each other - that's the only way I will be able to get married. I can't do lukewarm. It's just not me. I have to be fully in love with this person and be compelled to commit to them. I have no idea if this is a healthy mindset (lol), but it's the one I have right now.
Now, about love. I actually loved their relationship. They had their arguments and moments of frustration and disappointment, but you could tell that they truly loved each other. She actually decided to have children because she could see how much he wanted it, and how good of a dad he would become. She also accepted him and continued to support and love him even when he was infertile. He continued to love her through her frequently difficult personality (some of her anger was justified, some of it surely was not) and, if you think about it, he knew she was borderline cheating and still didn't say anything. She did so many dodgy things but only attacked him for whatever she thought he did. They both accepted each other, both the good and the bad. I really liked how she said to the pharmacist that the purpose of marriage is not to become happier, but to find someone to walk a difficult path with, someone you can share the difficult moments with and come out even stronger. I can't believe the pharmacist still gave her those 미련 뚝뚝 eyes even at that point before heading off with his other girl. It reminds me of the guy I dated even more. He said all kinds of 미련 뚝뚝 things as though our time together was incredibly rare and that he was having so much trouble saying goodbye - when in fact it was so easy for him.
ANYWAY. So that's it. It was a good watch, and I'm glad I chose it. Could be better in many ways, but overall, I'd give it 3.5/5. Maybe even 4/5. Ah, nah. 3.5/5.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 5 months ago
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Review #118: The Interest of Love (Ep 16)
I finished this drama a few days ago, and my mind has been brewing with thoughts.
I didn't expect the drama to have such an impact on me, but after trying out other dramas after this one, I realised it indeed has. There are a few reasons for this.
The first one is the way the drama dealt with the theme of cheating. I remember reading online somewhere that the drama should be retitled "The Interest of Cheating", or more appropriately, 바람의 이해. I thought that was a funny and smart way of mocking the drama, but after watching the entire drama my thoughts changed. I think the drama does a pretty good job of exploring 'cheating' and showing it from many different points of view. It doesn't just condone cheating. It doesn't romanticise it either. It actually shows us the consequences of cheating.
The two relationships that showed this the best, in my opinion, were Sooyoung's parents' relationship and Sangsoo's friend's relationship. In both of those relationships, the person who cheats does so because they believe 'love' is the most important aspect in their lives and their current relationship doesn't hold as much value. However, both of their lives suffer painful consequences after they make that decision, and that pain seeps into the lives of the people they care about. Sangsoo's friend shows us an even more realistic depiction of the aftermath. He goes back to his ex-girlfriend, only to find himself regretting his choices and even thinking about the wife he betrayed. He realises that he still has feelings for his ex-wife and that he cares about her. Moreover, he realises that just because he's gone back to his ex-girlfriend, doesn't mean their relationship is as passionate as before. Things have changed.
As for Sooyoung's parents' relationship, we can see from the drama that when someone with a family cheats, it creates immense chaos - to the point where the son dies and the daughter has to live with that emotional wound for so long. I remember watching the scene where the dad answers Sooyoung's question ("Why did you do that?") with something along the lines of, "It was love. You can't control it. You can't do anything about it when the feeling is so strong." I remember sitting there in shock, shaking my head. Love? So anything is permissible if it feels strong and real? I only got over that scene because they reveal later that it was Sooyoung's mother who cheated. After realising that, my memory of that scene shifted, and it dawned on me just how much Sooyoung's dad loved his family. When he said, "It was love. You can't do anything about it," he in fact was talking about himself and how he simply had to accept his wife.
Watching those two relationships and the chaos of their cheating aftermath, it made me realise that "love", "feelings", those are so irrelevant and insignificant when you've made a serious commitment. If you've decided to be with someone, and you've promised each other to be exclusive, you have to repel feelings for other people. It's just a non-negotiable. If you're a mature adult, it's out of the question. The only other acceptable choice is to break it off with your current person first before choosing the other person. That's the only other acceptable decision.
I guess that's why I didn't feel as iffy with Sangsoo and Sooyoung's relationship. I just kept yelling at the screen, just break up with your respective significant others already! You guys aren't even married to them! What's the issue? Break up with them and get together!!!!!
At least Sangsoo tried. I respect him for that. He actually tried, multiple times, to break up with Mikyoung. He accepted all the hardships that would come from that, because he realised he couldn't let go of Sooyoung and wanted to be with her ultimately.
Now, this is a paragraph rant about how unbelievably annoying Sooyoung was. I actually didn't feel this negatively about her in the beginning episodes, but after she fake slept with Sangsoo's friend, I lost so much affection for her. I found myself empathising with Mikyoung. I just kept asking myself, did she really have to do that? And then she runs away from making adult decisions over and over again. Sangsoo sacrifices so much for her, and she can't even have an honest chat with him. She was sooooo annoying. She acted like those girls who think they're in some kind of drama as the female lead, speaking in that dreamy and sentimental way with such ambiguous and poetic words. Nothing she did was for other people. Think about the way she hurt Jonghyun. She should have broken up with him ages ago. Even that fake sleeping fiasco - she did that because of Sangsoo, with zero thought of Jonghyun. Honestly, I wanted to tell her to snap out of it and stop acting like a damsel in distress. You're not in a drama. Act like an adult. Take responsibility for the decisions you've made. I felt so sorry for Sangsoo who was constantly strung along by this nine-tailed fox. He'll probably suffer even after they've fully gotten together. How do you even trust someone like her?
Speaking of Sooyoung and Jonghyun, I think it's quite rare for a drama to show such realistic aspects of a relationship, especially when the "feeling of love" is so important in these dramas. It's all about how you feel, how the other person makes you feel, and every drama seems to end when the leads finally get together and walk down the wedding aisle. However, this drama does a great job in showing us what happens after two people get together.
I loved watching Sooyoung and Jonghyun's relationship change. I loved how realistic it was. They start off so fluttery and pure, and then as time goes by reality seeps in. I loved that. It's such a realistic depiction. Near the end of the drama, when their relationship has become so strained, I thought back to their early moments and sighed at how realistic it all was. We all do that. We're all like that. Our relationships change with time, so much that when we think back to our early days, we can't believe those moments happened. It could happen because we didn't know each other as well as we do now. I felt like I was Sooyoung as I saw Jonghyun in the later episodes. I had gotten to know way too much about him. We couldn't go back to the time when he was an unfamiliar face, shyly packing lunches for Sooyoung, boldly confessing to her, and consoling her in the pouring rain. Now, he was the boy who was constantly depending on us, hanging his head in embarrassment for all he couldn't do, sitting outside the house because he felt uncomfortable being in the same space. We fall in love with an image, and then we slowly get to know the real person.
Sooyoung and Jonghyun were once surely in love. Sooyoung even went to the length of inviting him into her house. She sought him out. She visited his hometown, didn't give up on him, and made the decision to take care of him. I think that was brave of her, and her feelings back then were real. She did what she believed was right. What I loved was that those actions didn't lead to fully positive results. Yes, they loved each other and yes, Sooyoung did her absolute best for him, to the point of inconveniencing herself. However, the hardships were too huge, and their relationship shifted. I found that incredibly realistic. It shows us that making decisions out of that feeling of love doesn't always lead to positive results. It shows us that sometimes you have to make decisions based on what your mind believes is the best decision for both of you in the long run. In the end, Jonghyun was left with such an intensely traumatic wound. I still think Sooyoung could have, and should have let him go in a less traumatic way. She should have broken up with him when she realised she no longer felt the same way. She strung both Sangsoo and Jonghyun along. That's why I think she's ultimately the most selfish person in that show.
I also really liked Sangsoo and Mikyoung's relationship and the changes it went through. I felt really bad for Mikyoung. I could probably write another paragraph about this, but my fingers hurt and I have things to do, so I'll leave this here for now. All in all, not a bad drama, loved the intricacies, but Sooyoung is one hell of a bitch, that's for sure. She needs to stay away from relationships for a while and get some proper therapy.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 5 months ago
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Review #117: The Interest of Love (Ep 1-10)
What a fucking slow burn.
I can't believe I'm still watching this drama. It's slow as hell, they're covered with those artistic, slow-mo shots, and the drama keeps taking us to what happened before the cliffhanger (it seems like they're trying to drag it out), and the drama even used one of my most HATED tropes (I'll mention that some other day) but I'm still here. Why?
Because of the acting. Yoo Yeon-seok. I never knew he was this good. Also, Moon Ga-yeong. Even the side characters, Geum Sae-rok and the other dude (Yoo Yeon-seok's friend). I'm blown away each time. I actually like the characters and I absolutely love how it's a drama that shows the difficulties after a relationship has started. I enjoy watching the conflicts and how different backgrounds can create hurt feelings, even when neither of them intended to hurt the other. I love it. I love the intricacies.
So, I'm writing this review after having just finished Episode 10. They finally kissed. I'm sure they'll still drag out the slow burn and not let the leads get together till the end, but I was surprised at how convincing everything was. It's hard to explain and I'm busy so I'll leave it here for now, but let me just say I've found myself invested in a drama that compelled me to write about it. I actually watched Doona! a few weeks ago, but it was not good enough for me to write about. Seeing the acting in The Interest of Love, it's hitting me just how badly Suzy acted. I like her, I truly do (which is why I watch so many of her dramas) but she really cannot act.
Okay, off to get some work done. I honestly only have time to watch this drama when I'm eating or brushing my teeth or putting makeup or moisturiser on my face, but because it's so damn calm and slow burn, it's totally fine. I don't mind the pace.
Will be back.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #115-116
Review #115: Mother's Instinct
What an amazing film. It reminded me of Monster and how we are left in the dark about the truth until the very end. I loved that. It made me realise just how much I enjoy watching thrillers / mysteries. I was constantly reassessing the "truth". I found myself doubting everyone. The film kept up the tension very, very well. It also made me think about what grief does to people. The ending didn't seem as satisfying as I expected it to be, but overall, a very enjoyable and memorable watch.
Review #116: 탈주
Hm. The beginning was really good. I was hooked from the get-go, and I thought the writers did a neat job starting the action immediately in this era of people with low concentration. However, the ending was so, so bad. It was all interesting and great until... maybe the point where they have to head back to army base? It got to a point where I was fed up with his "friend" and how he was always holding Gyunam back. I was like, what is the point of this dude? He decides to become an obstacle from the beginning (when he mindlessly tries to escape, having stolen Gyunam's map and threatens him with a gun) and then he isn't even a strong character from that point on. I pretty much forgot why Gyunam was so damn attached to this dude. Just because he has that family sob story? You gotta sell it better. I wasn't rooting for this dude at all. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised and found it refreshing when Gyunam seemed to abandon him and become promoted for having captured a deserter.
Now, let's talk about some other aspects that I didn't like. As the film progresses, Gyunam becomes some sort of undefeatable immortal. Until the final scene, Gyunam never once steps on a mine (even when the rain has destroyed the efforts he put into his map), resurfaces from quick sand with zero tension (I was sitting there bored) (what was the point of the quick sand scene anyway?), and never once gets hit by the torrent of bullets that are showered upon him. The tension that I felt so strongly in the beginning of the film disappeared as the movie went on.
Then we have to talk about the really bad ending. It was really bad. The disappearing tension evaporated into thin air by this point. There was just no tension between those two. That point of the film is where the two main leads (protagonist and villain) have their final showdown, and there shouldn't be much breathing space. But in this movie, you can breathe all you want. He isn't going to kill him anyway. There's no consistency as the dude goes from emotional softie to sudden brutal killer, back and forth. 왜 그렇게 결단력이 없어. I guess you could say that that's exactly what he's going through, he can't choose, so even though he does shoot Gyunam in the end quite critically, he can't finish him off. I understand that that may have been the writer's intention. But it was just done in a really boring, flat way. To be honest, his constant ambivalence was annoying and got uninteresting really fast. It's probably because that ambivalence and inconsistency stretches into the entire movie. In one scene he's shooting at the car and happy to see Gyunam's dead body falling limply. Then in another scene he's hesitating before shooting him in the head when he's in full view. If he was so unemotional about Gyunam's bloody face falling to the ground in the car scene, why hesitate all of a sudden? And then it goes back and forth, back and forth like that all throughout. It just makes no sense. If you want to make it make sense, you should've made him stop the soldiers from shooting Gyunam to (fake) death in the car scene. Also, after Gyunam runs like crazy non-stop towards the border, suddenly he's confronted by the piano hyung. I honestly almost laughed out loud there. Really? You're telling me that piano hyung ran just as quickly and diligently as Gyunam through those minefields and sinking sand and came out scathed, to be standing right behind Gyunam with a gun? Come on. That dude is the dude who stopped pursuing Gyunam the moment he saw one of his soldiers' legs get blown off by a mine right next to him.
Great start, then meh middle, wrapped up by a really, really bad ending. I also hated the usage of the Zion T song (cringe) and wished piano hyung's restricted love story would have had a bit more screentime.
Meh.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #114: Hyena (Ep 16)
Okay, quick overall review of the series:
I ended up enjoying the drama as a whole. The legal battles were okay. I still think they could've been better, but they weren't too bad. I actually liked how Heejae's dad didn't give us the perfectly wrapped up ending in court. It seemed more human and realistic. I also somewhat liked how Geumja's father's death wasn't dramatised or sentimentalised. That also seemed more human and realistic. Geumja just shrugs it off, which seems more in character than suddenly sobbing over him and feeling remorse for the past days. I was quite disappointed with the ending regarding CEO Song. I thought they'd be a final battle but it all kind of wrapped itself up all neatly like a cool down period on a running machine.
I ended up loving Heejae and Geumja's relationship and teamwork to the point of almost being jealous and wishing I had that with someone. They really work well together and build each other up. They're always there for each other and they are able to rely on each other and fill each other's blindspots/weaknesses. What a great pair.
One thing that kind of surprised me in the end was how Heejae became more like Geumja. Heejae in fact goes through the biggest and most dramatic character change. If you think about the person he was in the very first ten minutes of the drama and compare it to the person he is in the very last scene of the drama, it's as though he's gone through some kind of makeover. Geumja, on the other hand, hasn't changed a whole lot. She still does her legal work in her own way, still has her personality, and still wears similar clothes. Heejae's way of work has become more like Geumja's, he's even joined her company, he's skipping down the street like Geumja, and even his wardrobe reflects her style. That's quite interesting for me. I still think Heejae is more compassionate, flexible, humble, soft, and kinder than Geumja. He's the kind of person who is open to learning and doesn't have an insanely stubborn and prideful side. Heejae will probably be the person who gives into Geumja's strong personality and tries to match her. Geumja doesn't seem like the person who is willing to change hugely for someone else.
Once a drama comes to an end, I always tend to think further ahead to the couple's future and whether or not they seem like the type of pair that will make it far. I think Geumja and Heejae will stay together for quite longer since they work together quite well, but I'm not sure about super long term. Heejae is the kind of person who will devote his entire life to Geumja. He's like a loyal puppy. He acts all stoic and strong but he's got a sensitive and soft side that will latch onto one person and show devotion and loyalty. I'm not entirely sure about Geumja. She's quite spontaneous and much more self-centered than Heejae.
All in all, quite an entertaining drama, but don't watch it for the mediocre and predictable legal battles. Watch it for the male and female lead's chemistry and the character development. Also, watch it if you're a Joo Jihoon fan. 3/5
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #113: Hyena (Ep 5-8)
Episode 7. (written before watching episode 8)
Fave episode so far. I actually really enjoyed the D&T legal story. For the first time while watching this drama, I was genuinely immersed in the legal story. I loved the moral ambiguity, and the fact that they had to defend someone who wasn't "good". It would've been extra interesting if they really had to defend the person who was downright morally wrong, but I that would've been a stretch for a drama, so I understood when the guy turned out to be just as (or even more) morally wrong. I was suspicious of his diary entries from the get-go, so I wasn't surprised when that was brought up. I remember thinking, can't anyone fake a diary entry? You can write it all up later on and pretend you wrote it back then. You could also write anything and everything and simply claim it's all true. I never thought diary entries could be considered as legitimate evidence.
I've started to like Geumja and root for her. I think it happened in that car scene, where Heejae and Geumja are waiting together and, for the first time ever, Geumja opens up. Heejae asks her (offhandedly) why she thought of becoming a laywer, and Geumja answers that knowing the law thoroughly seemed like the best way to defend herself. Ever since that moment, I've been seeing her in a different light. I felt for her in that moment. When you've been in such a vulnerable position in the past and people have taken advantage of you, you put on a mask and pretend you're invincible. You act like the strongest person you know, so that people won't walk all over you. Geumja had to put on that mask early, and now she's at a point where the last thing she'll do is show even the tiniest hint of weakness. Because people will use it against her. That's why she acts so badass and emotionless all the time.
However, as the episode progresses, we see more and more of Geumja's emotions. And, for the first time, I accepted Geumja's expertise. I nodded my head. I acknowledged that Geumja was very, very good at her job. It didn't seem like superhero spidey sense this time. Each step actually made sense and was convincing.
I also absolutely love watching Heejae and Geumja work together. I think Heejae is finally seeing Geumja for who she really is, and, endearingly enough, he's actually falling for the real Geumja too. And this time, I understand him. I see why, and I see how.
Episode 8 is just as good. I love the development of their relationship, and I love the way Geumja is pushed to open up to Heejae. But most of all, I love Heejae's 마음 towards Geumja. I love the scene where Heejae finds Geumja drinking soju and admits to her that he keeps thinking of her. I love how he uses her real name, Geumja. It's a key scene where Heejae realises (and admits) that he's starting to like the real her, not the fake Heesun he initially fell for. He shows a genuine interest in who Geumja really is and wants to get to know her.
I also loved the scene where Geumja roasts Heejae in the carpark (but only because Heejae 시비걸어s first) and then, at the very end, she hits him with, "I really liked working with you though." I think that shows exactly why Geumja is so attractive to Heejae, and why Heejae can't get over her and is borderline obsessed with her. She's so good at the push and pull game, and so good at making guys want more.
I love the scene where Heejae visits her after the whole traumatic moment with her father and brings her wine. I love the entire dialogue in that scene, and the way the two actors play it out. Heejae is so endearing here. It's such a memorable scene, because Heejae is still very much Heejae, but he's just... Heejae in love. His every word choice and his every action is just so convincing and believable, and still so in character. You can tell he genuinely cares about her, loves her. And Geumja is sincerely moved by that. I even liked how the episode ended. I think that was very in character for both of them. Plus, they've done all that and more, so it's not hard for them at all to go back to that. I found Heejae quite brave and almost selfless when he said she could use him. When you're in love like that, you really let the person you love treat you anyway they like. Not that it's healthy. Just saying that's what happens.
I'm invested in this drama all over again. I'm glad I kept watching.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #112: Hyena (Ep 2-4)
The story is so bad. I'm so sad, because I really wanted to like this drama. The first episode was so good and got me invested in the characters. However, the actual story - the legal battles - are so bad.
The legal battles are surface-level and feel like child's play. The drama gives off serious, adult-like vibes, but the legal battles are so predictable, shallow and boring.
Geumja is painted as this superheroine who is good at absolutely everything; some kind of genius lawyer who is incredibly badass and can emotionally manipulate just about anyone. It's boring. It's unrealistic. I'm sick of seeing unrealistically perfect characters who feel like characters and not real people. Heejae, on the other hand, feel much more human than Geumja. He's extremely capable and intelligent, but we also very frequently see his imperfect sides. There are things he can't do and things he's bad at. He doesn't succeed just because he's been written as a character who has this genius intuition. There are believable reasons behind his wins.
For example, he's able to win Go Iman's heart and convince him to withdraw because it's been believably built up from the start of the drama that he's a very big fan. On the other hand, Geumja finds out about Go Iman's sexuality just from a simple phone call and because she claims to have heard some kind of "strangely sexual music". This was probably the most disappointing and weird episode. Go Iman hangs up on Geumja, and Geumja has her unconvincing genius moment again. She asks her assistant if she heard the music too, and the assistant catches on almost immediately. I'm sitting there wondering what in the world they've just discovered, while the two of them are sharing their genius moment about the reason behind Go Iman not being allowed to date. Okay, so you heard sensual music. What exactly is that supposed to reveal about Go Iman being restricted from dating?
Then it's revealed in the next scene as Heejae finds Go Iman at a bar. A gay bar. I think that's when the drama kind of lost me. It was as though the writer had never ever interacted with an actual gay man before. I couldn't believe they had painted Go Iman as an overly sensitive, almost babyish character who cannot make his own decisions, is walked all over by his mother constantly, only to reveal (through some random sensual music?) that he's gay? That's absolutely idiotic. Does the writer think gay bars have some kind of specially different music compared to heterosexual bars? And how is Geumja supposed to know that anyway? And her assistant? Where's the scene where Geumja and her assistant are gay bar experts to the point where they know someone's at a gay bar just from listening to the music?
Also. This drama is set in Korea, where being gay is still not socially accepted, even more so if you're a celebrity. Go Iman in the drama is supposed to be this huge, huge musician in Korea and around the world. Korean celebrities take care of their image immensely, to the point where they don't even reveal whether they're dating or not. And Go Iman is just sitting at a gay bar where anyone and everyone can see his face? I thought his mother had put that 'no dating' rule in his contract to protect his image and make sure he doesn't get involved in any scandals. But here is Go Iman, very openly drinking at a gay bar, and happily taking his mask off when Heejae says he's a fan. I don't get it. There's no logic in this scene.
Throughout the episodes, I just keep getting the thought that the writer is half-assing the legal side of the story. It's one or the other: the writer just sucks at writing legal stories, or the writer had no time and had to rush all the episodes. I've just been disappointed with every single legal story so far.
Even the drug addict Ha Chanho story was cringe. I don't know why I found it so cringe. It again felt childish. I think if a drama is going to add those kinds of socially and morally dangerous elements into the story, they have to make it feel actually dangerous and dark. You can't explore those things and keep it PG. It feels childish and fake. The Ha Chanho actor was good, but it was as though he was acting for a child audience. It was honestly cringe. Watching him acting like a tantrum-throwing manchild was cringe. The storyline about him being insanely in love with that girl was unconvincing and cringe too. The drama is supposed to convince us that the girl has something special about her that keeps that crazy man Ha Chanho at bay. But all the audience sees is an average girl who looks like one of the hundred other pretty Korean girls who walk the Seoul streets. What's special about her? Her personality seems quite bland too. And we as the audience are supposed to believe that Ha Chanho is batshit crazy about that girl? Suuuure.
Every single legal story is also way too simply and easily solved. There's no suspense. I'm sure Geumja will win with her pro manipulation skills or her unexplainable spidey sense. All she has to do is act all badass and not be intimidated by anyone whatsoever and cross professional boundaries.
I started off liking Geumja, but I don't really like her anymore. I don't like her as a character, and I don't think I'd like her if she were a real person either. I'm also sick of every character acting so much like a damn character. I want characters to feel real and I want to be able to be immersed in the story world. Right now, I'm just seeing characters acting so damn comically, overdoing their actions and dialogues.
And now Geumja has been asked to join Song&Kim. Sure. As if that's believable. As if the drama has been setting that up. I'm just not convinced. The drama has shown us the kind of people who are running Song&Kim. You're telling me that those people are dying to have Geumja in their team? Aren't they supposed to be one of the top legal companies? They don't have lawyers who are more capable than Geumja? I know this is the whole underdog story and all, but CONVINCE ME. I'm just not convinced. How is Geumja so good at everything, such a genius, with some kind of magical intuition and unbreakable courage and survival skills? It's as though we've been brainwashed to be in awe of this Geumja character, but something the drama has been missing is that the audience should be rooting for her as well. At the moment, she doesn't really have much to root for.
This is what I predict. Geumja will have character development by developing some heart and she will probably start genuinely caring about people (Heejae, especially). Heejae is already quite a multi-dimensional character, but he will learn some more humility (this is already in the making). I also predict that the legal stories will continue to suck.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #111: Hyena (Ep 1)
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Okay.
I need to take some deep breaths before I begin writing this review. I must refrain from hyperventilating. I must remind myself to breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's 1:49am right now. I stayed up until midnight finishing off one of my assignments, had a shower, and, like always, decided to watch something while drying my hair and getting ready for bed.
A light switch flickered in my head. Hyena. I'd been wanting to watch that ever since... yesterday. That's right. It hasn't been long at all. However, there is something else that has lasted much, much longer than that.
My weirdly intense attraction to Joo Jihoon.
Let me, just let me elaborate a little bit further on this. You know I don't keep any actors in my mind longterm. I'm a singer lover, and I fall for voice and personality way, way over simple appearance and acting ability. I don't like "characters" longterm, and no actor's personality or voice have ever kept me lingering. I definitely had phases though, and some of the phases I can distinctly remember are people like Lee Jongsuk and Park Bogum.
However, Joo Jihoon is different. It's going to take me a while to explain the intricacies of these thoughts and feelings, but hey, it's only 2:05am and I have places to go and things to do tomorrow, so of course I'm going to continue elaborating, right?
The first time I saw him was on Goong. I absolutely loved that drama as a teenager. I remember reading the manhwa too. Funny story though, back then, I preferred the second male lead over Joo Jihoon. Hah. My preference has surely changed now. I'm just going to be straight-forward. It changed ever since I fell for my ex boyfriend. It changed ever since I fell in love with him.
Simply put, Joo Jihoon reminds me of my ex boyfriend. And I was insanely attracted to my ex boyfriend. Insanely. This isn't my diary so I won't give too many details, but every time I came across a Joo Jihoon picture or video after having started to date my ex boyfriend, my heart would almost automatically swoon, just because they held a similar atmosphere. I remember this one date where we went on a trip and took a walk in one of the well-known sights of that specific town. I took some photos of him and he looked so attractive, I honestly said out loud, you look like Joo Jihoon. I wonder if he remembers that. I hope he thinks Joo Jihoon is as attractive as I think he is, so that that memory is a positive memory for him.
But come on. Who wouldn't think Joo Jihoon is attractive? He's been attractive ever since I saw him on Goong. I can't remember if I watched anything else of him after Goong, but I know that I did watch Kingdom a few years back. I feel like watching that all over again. Wow, I just skimmed through his filmography and I really haven't seen much of his work. Does that confirm the hypothesis that my intense attraction to this guy is mostly from the way I felt about my ex boyfriend..?
Anyway. Regardless of everything, Joo Jihoon suits this character immensely. He is Yoon Heejae, and Yoon Heejae is him. Yoon Heejae's hairstyle, the clothes he chooses to wear, the way he speaks, walks, acts, even the way he falls in love - everything about him is so well brought to life by Joo Jihoon. I think the casting is perfect. I know this to be true because currently a new Joo Jihoon drama is playing on TV (with Jung Yumi) and he really does not suit that character. Every time I see shorts on YouTube or happen to watch a scene while walking into the lounge area of my grandfather's house, I have to refrain from gagging. The story, the characters, they all suck.
Listen. Joo Jihoon should never be playing a character that is innocent, shy, and acts like a novice when it comes to life or love experience, or interacting with women. Joo Jihoon is perfect for characters that are sexy, charismatic, confident, experienced, silently strong on the outside while being soft and fragile on the inside. Watching him grow curious of Geumja (Kim Hyesoo) and so, so softly fall in love with her was almost too much for my heart to handle. The workaholic and successful lawyer who looks and acts like the kind of man who would never fall for just any woman and, even if he does find a woman attractive, would not commit seriously to her and take the relationship very lightly. That kind of man falling so hopelessly in love with this woman as though he is falling in love for the very first time. That is just so... fucking endearing.
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Kim Hyesoo. We must talk about her. What I wrote just above all make sense only because it is Kim Hyesoo. The moment I saw her at the laundromat, my reaction was the same as Heejae's, and the more we saw of her, the more my reaction resembled Heejae's. That scene of her walking out into the rain. Coming back and asking for her book, her hoodie and parts of her fringe slightly wet. Those large, searching eyes of hers. Listen. Kim Hyesoo is just so, so charismatic. I don't think I can imagine any other female actor playing the role of the 여유로운 femme fatale-like, absolutely beautiful older woman that so naturally seduces Joo Jihoon and also fights it out with a yangachi. That fight scene was intense, and you know what I loved about it? The fact that the woman didn't miraculously smash the guy. The fact that Joo Jihoon didn't miraculously appear and smash the guy. I loved that they didn't use those cliches and actually made her fight for her life.
I felt so bad for Heejae when he realised that everything was fake. I could just imagine how devastated he must have felt, as though his entire world had just turned upside down (which the drama did very well, with the actual upside down depiction). Heejae had just lost both the case and the person he trusted to be his lover. Suddenly, all the memories, the love that they shared - all that was gone. It was nothing. How painful is that?
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Lastly, before I go, I want to mention that I love the 어른 연애 vibe from the drama. I can no longer watch dramas where two adults spend ten episodes being all fluttery and shy and awkward. Let's be real. That's not what happens in Korea with adults of that age. I guess another drama that comes to mind that did the more realistic depiction really well was 밥 잘 사주는 예쁜 누나, with the way they showed the two of them beginning to date and the early stages of a couple.
It's time to sleep now. It's 2:44am. I need to somehow try to fall asleep. My mind so still so, so awake. I miss my ex boyfriend.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 7 months ago
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Review #110: It Ends With Us
I'm writing this after having seen a little bit over half of the movie. It's past midnight, and I can't stay up for too long (got plans tomorrow, and I'm old now, so I have to make some wise choices from time to time) so I'm jotting down some preliminary thoughts before finishing the movie most likely tomorrow.
First thought. Lily, are you sure Atlas is the safer option here? (Sorry, spoilers, but there were just too many clips of the film on YouTube.) I mean, he just blew up and both physically and verbally assaulted Ryle. He didn't even take the time to calmly assess the situation. He let his emotions get the best of him. Also, he physically blocked Lily from leaving the area. He sounded threatening and, wait for it, dangerous. Isn't that exactly what Ryle is painted out to be? To me though, Atlas definitely didn't seem any safer. I thought Atlas was supposed to be this kind and soft hero who understands and protects Lily. However, from what I've seen so far, he seems just as dangerous as Ryle. In fact, and here comes the second thought:
Ryle's suspicions and rising emotions are justified. Come on. Let's all look at this from a third person's perspective. Let's stop automatically sympathising with Lily and look at it logically. Lily is the one who constantly thinks of her past love, Atlas. The moment the film showed Lily still reminiscing about him even after she started dating Ryle, I lost the majority of my sympathy for her. Then she deliberately leaves the table and has a talk with him, still acting like she has feelings for him. She continues to think about him while her relationship with Ryle develops. This is what I don't understand. If you're still thinking about him, and you haven't gotten over him - to the point you have to suspiciously leave your current partner to secretly talk to him, not once, but twice - then you really have to reassess your current relationship and ask yourself if you should be acting so disrespectfully to your partner. It's not fair to Ryle, at all. I don't get why the film is trying to create a complete villain out of Ryle when Ryle is being completely faithful and Lily is borderline cheating.
Lily, if you haven't gotten over Atlas, you have to let Ryle go, or at least be honest with him so that he doesn't have to feel like you're hiding things from him. You're the one destroying the trust in that relationship. And then the audience is supposed to root for her just because Ryle is now going to turn into an abusive partner? Meh. As if Atlas isn't just as violent.
I had several other thoughts churning inside of me before that scene, but that scene was so annoying that I had to get the above thoughts out first. But here are my other thoughts so far:
Lily is... Lily is just as unstable of a person. One thing I realised about Lily while watching the movie was that she tries really hard to look strong and like she has everything together, but she's actually very unstable and weak inside. She mostly hides it behind a cool demeanour, but the truth is, she has the biggest fear of disappointing others. I'm definitely not criticising Lily. In fact, I understand her. I like that she's not a perfect heroine. I like that she's human, and imperfect, and her character is actually very real.
The thing about people like Lily is that when you're just outside of her personal space, she seems too cool, too great, too good to be attainable. That's what Ryle saw in the beginning. Lily was this girl who was sitting on the edge of an apartment rooftop, so edgy, but also deep, but totally sexy and confident. She was on the same level as Ryle in terms of wit and flirtatiousness. Ryle found that attractive. I'm sure everyone would find that attractive. Both Lily and Ryle are experts at seeming all laidback, interesting, fun and sexy on the outside, but on the inside they are actually scared, anxious, unstable, and intensely craving love.
You can see it whenever Lily apologises. She apologises very sincerely, making sure Ryle knows that she's truly sorry for every way she has hurt him, whether she was aware of it or not. This is something I did a lot when I was dating my ex too, so I noticed it pretty quickly. And why do we do this? Because we're afraid of disappointing the person we love, and we're afraid that they will treat us differently, afraid that they will stop looking at us with love. Afraid that their eyes, and their words, and their actions, will go cold. We can't deal with that change. So we apologise profusely, almost begging them to forgive us and overlook our mistake. Then, when the person we love actually go cold and begin treating us differently, we find ourselves doing everything to try and turn it around. This is seen whenever Lily apologises, but also when she frantically calms him and kisses him outside the restaurant, looking scared out of her wits that he might leave her.
Ryle is an interesting character. To be honest, my mind hasn't vilified him yet. I find myself understanding him. I think it's because Lily is being so damn suspicious and secretive. She's not being honest with him. She's not being respectful in this relationship. However, maybe that's an indication of her fear of Ryle. She's scared of how he might react, so she subconsciously decided to hide it from him. However, I don't think movie has given enough "evidence" of Lily trying to share something deep or difficult with Ryle and Ryle dismissing it or creating a threatening atmosphere. If the film did more of that, I would understand Lily's decision to hide things from Ryle. So far, I'm not feeling that.
One thing I thought of while watching Ryle and Lily's relationship begin to develop, was that Ryle definitely has moments of "scariness". I tried to find a better word, but couldn't. I've known someone similar to Ryle in this sense, so I noticed it pretty well. Each moment affected me just as much as my person had. It's when Ryle's expression suddenly shifts; it's subtle, but it's sure. You can see it very well in the scene where they meet at Alyssa's birthday party and Lily starts half playfully telling him to stop flirting with her and to stop chasing her so adamantly. His face suddenly loses all 여유, it tenses, his eyes become stern, and then his words turn very cold and forceful. This is when he tells her to shut up for a moment, and it doesn't sound flirtatious or playful. It actually sounds scary and threatening.
That's what the scary thing is. When you're so physically attracted to someone, your mind overlooks every single thing that, to someone from the outside, immediately seems dangerous. To me, Ryle was threatening Lily. Nobody should say that, in that tone of voice, to anyone, especially not to someone you like. Lily probably knew that too, but she was so physically attracted to Ryle that she couldn't see it. I've been there. Attraction is such a strong magnetic force, it honestly blinds you to every single worrying trait that, in all honesty, the person shows you straight up without hiding anything. But you're so blinded that you can't see it, or worse, you decide to ignore it.
Then the relationship develops to a point where you struggle to put an end to it, because both of you have become so attached and have gotten to know each other on such a deep level. Of course it's hard to leave someone who says that you're the first woman they've ever loved, have invested so much, and have committed to. You fall in love with the fact that this man has opened up for the very first time, and you are the one who made that happen. You are a special person to him, he's never had someone like you before, and you want to desperately hold onto that. You aren't like the other women in his life who simply passed by. The other women that he liked, but only physically desired, and never had such a deep connection with. Even if he's sometimes angry at you, sometimes makes you scared, and sometimes physically or verbally abusive to you, you can't let go, because you want to continue being the one and only special woman to ever exist in his life. And so you stay, even if you're walking on eggshells every day. He has a lot of hurt inside, and you know you're the only one who can help him heal. Even if it means him lashing out at you. You know it's only because he's been hurt inside, and it's nothing personal.
Anyway, those are the thoughts I have so far. I'll finish the movie tomorrow and write the rest of the review below. But so far, I'm not rooting for Atlas. He shouldn't have done what he did. It's not his place. Even if he was really worried about Lily, he shouldn't have shown it in that way. Is that really what a mature person would do? No. If I were Lily, I would be just as scared of Atlas as I was of Ryle. But then again, me as a person - I really don't like anyone who gets so easily heated up. Someone who goes from 0 to 100 in the span of a few seconds? To the point of hurling insults and threats, and throwing punches? Uh, no. You don't want someone like that for a partner, even if it is with the intention to "protect" you. What I want, is a man who would calmly and logically solve the situation while gently looking after me and firmly and sternly taking care of whoever is giving me shit. Without violence.
It's the next morning, I've watched less than ten more minutes of the film, and I had to come here. So many thoughts.
People think relationships are easy to end and walk away from once you notice something about your partner that doesn't sit right with you. However, that's not the case at all. I completely understand Lily. She saw something in Ryle that rang all of her alarms. He showed a side of himself that she absolutely hated all her life and probably vowed to never become entangled with ever again. But that was before their relationship had reached that stage. They've come to a point where Lily knows she's an incredibly special person in Ryle's life, and he makes sure he expresses that to her constantly. It's now engraved in her mind that she's the one who makes him happy, she's the one who changed his life, she's the one that he supposedly loves (more than anyone else) and she's the one he chose to commit to (for the first time in his life). It's hard to leave someone like that.
I notice the way Ryle's demeanour - and the entire atmosphere around them - changes when Lily seems unsure of their relationship. If she's anything other than happy, and she expresses that even in the tiniest way, Ryle becomes anxious and shows it in a quietly aggressive way. Words like, "I don't like the sound of that" or actions like staring at her in silence, expression cold, bring back tense memories. It stops Lily from being vulnerable with him and genuinely opening up to him about what she feels regarding their relationship.
However, one very important scene is when Lily does share - about her late father's abusive nature - and Ryle shows incredible sincerity, humility, and even shame. He sincerely apologises (somewhat even profusely), acknowledges Lily's feelings and struggles, and even reassures her, making the atmosphere light and loving again. However, a part of me wondered if he really did address the situation and discuss it in depth with Lily. I've noticed that Ryle tends to swiftly deviate from a serious situation by using wit and sex. It makes Lily believe that everything is in fact okay, because he seems to still love her. She must have felt so reassured that day; she shared one of her most difficult stories, she bared her soul, and not only did he apologise, understand, and accept her, he doted on her even more. It was reassurance enough for her that Ryle is in fact not like her father. He's different. He may have hit her, but that was a mistake, and he loves me, so he'll never do it again. He even apologised, and it was genuine.
I think that's the really difficult thing about relationships like these, especially for people like Lily (and Ryle). I was thinking about this today, but Lily actually feels like an incredibly real and multi-dimensional character. When you see her for the first time, as an outsider, you probably take her in with all the stereotypes that come with her appearance. You think she'll be fun, laidback, somewhat superficial and definitely not serious and sensitive. However, once you get to know her, she's actually very careful, serious, deeply emotional, loyal, anxious, and a people pleaser who is scared of hurting and disappointing her loved ones. She still has her funny and witty side, but it disappears immediately once she notices that the issue is in fact serious or that she might have hurt someone. She could be joking around with Ryle and asserting playful dominance until Ryle's demeanour changes and she suddenly almost kowtows to alleviate the situation and assuage him. It's all very real. I think her character is very well written.
Ryle. He's also a very interesting character. I don't see him as a villain. In fact, I understand Lily's confusion and reluctance to assess the relationship. Ryle isn't black and white. He's not just an abusive partner. He's actually very multi-dimensional. If I were Lily, I wouldn't be able to think logically about the relationship. Ryle has aspects about him that clearly help to build trust. When Lily says she isn't ready/looking to have sex, Ryle accepts it and they have a non-sexual sleep together. When Lily expresses her past trauma, Ryle sincerely apologises. There have been clear moments of trust building and evidence of Ryle being quite a decent guy.
However, there have also been clear moments of Ryle having anger management tendencies. The very first piece of evidence is actually Lily's very first meeting of him. She's having a moment on the rooftop when Ryle storms inside (outside?) and furiously kicks at the chairs around him. That is a very clear sign of someone struggling to control their anger. Ryle also has a very confident (and almost intimidating) aura, which partly comes from his high status of being a rich (ripped) neurosurgeon. He's probably always gotten the women he's wanted, so he has zero reason to be uncertain or shy when approaching Lily. He's the kind of man that would probably never easily give in to a woman and need to feel that he is higher than her in rank.
The important thing to note here is that, despite these clear signs of anger management and overconfidence, chemistry - more specifically, sexual chemistry - is a force so strong that it makes you deaf to every single alarm bell ringing in your head. In fact, there are no alarm bells ringing. You only become aware of their existence and their usage after the sexual chemistry begins wearing off. That's why people get into these relationships and why many people stay in them. The strong sexual chemistry draws them together and develops the relationship like easy sailing. Once the relationship has deepened and you have shared various special moments and you both feel a deep emotional (and physical) connection, it's hard to stop and assess the relationship when something seems off. You think you know the person, and you believe that they love you, so they would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. Therefore, it must have either been an accident, or they couldn't help it - because they're so deeply hurt inside. And if it's from their hurt, they can't control it, so instead of blaming them or leaving them, you should embrace them with unconditional love. You're the special person in their life, so you need to be the one to show them that they are loved and that their hurt can be healed. There is someone who loves them unconditionally.
It's a very difficult place to be in. You genuinely start to believe that they're not at fault for hurting you. They can't help it. It's their childhood. It's the difficulties in their life. So you can't blame them or criticise them. All you should do is accept them, understand them, and love them. Okay, back to the film now.
I got to the part where Ryle forces Lily to read Atlas' part of the magazine. I honestly still have mixed feelings about this whole Atlas thing. Is it just me who somewhat understands Ryle? If I had a boyfriend, who then became my husband, and this husband still has some kind of connection with his first love... and hides her number in his phone case... and secretly meets her at her restaurant... and she threatens me that if I treat him badly she will kill me, and then now she publicly writes about him in a magazine, clearly showing that she still has feelings for him... and then I ask my husband, do you love her? And he can't reply? I think I would be devastated too. I mean, I definitely wouldn't physically hurt my husband and threaten him, but my trust would be broken and I would be very hesitant about our relationship from that moment on. If my own husband can't reassure me that our relationship is solid and that he's got no other woman on his mind, how am I supposed to trust him as my husband and continue this marriage?
I just don't understand Lily, and I don't condone her behaviour. It's not fair to her husband. It wasn't fair when Ryle was her boyfriend, but he decided to trust her once more, then she breaks his trust again with the number in the phone case, and now she can't even clearly tell him that he's the only one she loves. If she still feels such deep feelings for Atlas, she honestly shouldn't have continued her relationship with Ryle, to the point of marrying him. You need to sort out those things before fully committing to someone new. It's not fair to the new person. They need your full commitment, just like they're giving you their full commitment. The movie paints Ryle as this villainous abuser, but what is Lily doing? She's borderline cheating. Why do people overlook that?
I did a quick search and it seems like the movie omitted several important moments in the book, which makes sense to me. Also, according to someone, Atlas in the book never makes moves on Lily romantically. That would sit better with me. I can't stand this storyline of Atlas still pining over Lily and vice versa and Lily borderline cheating. If that part wasn't in it, I think I would be able to view this abuse aspect with less confusion and muddy waters. At the moment, I can't even feel sorry for Lily or empathise with her. I'm annoyed at her and I sympathise more with Ryle.
Just watched her run off to Atlas and get the check up at the hospital with him. She probably shouldn't have done that. Out of all the close friends and family she has? She goes to Atlas? Meh, should probably stop looking at every movie beat from a moral standpoint, but I can't help it. I'm supposed to be rooting for the main character and empathising with her, but it's just not happening.
Also, one thing we can all learn from this movie is that you need to cleanly and solidly deal with your past trauma before committing to someone new. Lily didn't, which is why she kept being all glossy eyed whenever she saw Atlas and running to him whenever there was a problem. I don't blame Lily. I can relate. This is why it's all so 안타까워. It's also why it's a huge wakeup call for me to cleanly and solidly deal with my past relationship before trying to get to know someone new. When we don't do that, we will continue to have a deep, deep space in our hearts for that person, which will grow into a fantasy. The person in that deep, deep place of our hearts isn't even the person they are now. They're an image of the person we knew, all the good parts, and the parts we yearn to see and feel again. It's not reality though. We must let it go. If we don't, our 'new person' will constantly compete with that fantasy image of our past love. Then, if they ever enter our lives again by some crazy coincidence, we will be incredibly shaken by their reappearance. Because we think they're still that person in the past. Lily doesn't know anything about the current Atlas. It's been years, they're not teenagers anymore, and she still yearns for him and hasn't gotten over him at all, and it's not because she loves the current Atlas. It's because she never dealt with her memories, her feelings, and any trauma left regarding the teenage Atlas. So, lesson learnt: deal with your past love. Deal with it sternly, cleanly, face it head on. Don't let it grow inside of you like a fantasy. Tell yourself that the person you loved was the past person. You don't know their present anymore. If you want to fully commit to someone and not be shaken, you need to do this. For them, too.
If Atlas hadn't been in the picture, I wonder what Lily and Ryle's relationship would have been like. I honestly think Ryle's "abuse" is only justified if Lily is being pursued by a guy that Lily has zero interest in. If Lily had zero remaining feelings for Atlas, she could have easily reassured Ryle. She would've laughed it off and said, oh this is Atlas, maybe even introduced them, she would have never received his number, and she would have said that she was cleanly over Atlas when Ryle asked if she loved him. But she had lingering feelings from the get go. That's what gets on my nerves.
And then she goes to his house. Okay. And when Atlas drops her off and they say their goodbyes, he says, "If you ever find yourself in the position of loving someone again, just fall in love with me." As a human species, we have decided to call this cheating. Or borderline cheating, anyway. If you can't confidently say or do it in front of your spouse, it's cheating. I thought it was just Lily, or mostly Lily, but now I realise it's both of them. Atlas knows Lily is married and even pregnant. He's overstepping the boundaries of a friend. He's not being her friend. He's trying to be something more. He's being way too transparent about his feelings and his motives. I'm not rooting for this at all.
Months pass, and Lily's baby is growing, and after a long period of no contact, we all see Ryle again. I didn't expect myself to feel such overwhelming emotions. It's as though I'm Lily, and I lived through her experiences. I understand her mother. It's so, so hard to leave someone you love, even when they hurt you. You see them again, and you just know you love them - you want to be there for them, you want to show them that they're loved, that there's someone out there that cares about them - but you also have to look out for yourself and protect yourself, and it's a constant battle. As Ryle comes into frame, I think to myself, that's the man I (Lily) loved. I loved this man. We loved each other so deeply at one point. He loved me, and I loved him. I loved with all I had. It's so easy to go back and allow that person back in our lives with the smallest hint of an apology or a show of love. It's not easy. It's so, so hard. It's so hard to choose to stay away.
The scene where Lily suggests naming the baby Emerson (Emmy). Oof. I think this scene shows very well why Ryle fell in love with Lily, opened himself up for her and decided so easily to commit to her. Lily is just a compassionate person. And she truly loved and cared about Ryle. You can see that she still does. That's why Ryle was so certain about marrying her. However, Lily didn't feel the same way. I can see the pain in her eyes as she witnesses Ryle's vulnerable moment and she has to face that battle again of wanting to put the past in the past and have him in her life again and of keeping herself safe and preventing a fatal incident. I also think she's having a moment of, this is how my mother and father probably started off too. When I was born, my father probably saw me the way Ryle is looking at Emmy. He loved me. And my parents loved each other. I'm sure so many thoughts are going through Lily's mind. Grieving the possibility of the stable family that she envisioned with Ryle. Wondering if it's worth giving it another try. Wondering if she can trust him again. Scared that she might regret her decisions.
And that's when she says she wants a divorce. I gotta say, I wasn't expecting that. I guess Lily had fewer thoughts flitting through her mind than me, ha. That's really hard for Ryle to hear, but I think having a daughter puts things in perspective for him. As a father, she would never want that for her daughter. That makes him realise the weight of his past actions towards Lily. I just wonder, what Ryle is going to do from this moment on, and if there will ever be a chance for them to become amicable and maybe even loving for the sake of their daughter.
Final thoughts:
I don't feel satisfied with the ending. I don't think she should get together with Atlas. He's not the better option over Ryle. If she's going to get together with him, I think she should get to know him platonically for at least a year before starting anything romantic. For her daughter, too. She needs to be even more careful now, with her romantic relationships.
I know this kind of ending wouldn't work in a movie, but I would have really liked to see Lily and Ryle try to make it work. I don't mean getting back together and Lily condoning his every behaviour and forgiving his everything just because he's Emmy's father. What I mean is staying separated but keeping the possibilities open while Ryle actually takes visible steps towards getting help and overcoming his struggles. Personally, I saw the possibility of change in Ryle. But then again, maybe that's why I myself need to be careful with relationships, lol. I might even be worse than Lily when it comes to giving second chances, heart becoming weak, and hoping for change in a person. I mean, if my ex boyfriend reached out to me and wanted to try again, I would probably go back. He never hurt me physically, but he did show tendencies of lashing out in anger. When you love someone, you overlook everything. You make excuses for everything. You understand everything. You even blame yourself. They're never to blame. It's either you, or their traumatic past.
This is what I think now. I still don't blame them, but here's the truth: You can't fix anything. You think your love can. You think if you just love them enough, if you pour out unconditional love to them, you can fix their every hurt and you think your love can overcome any difficult moment. It's not true. It's not realistic. The reality is, you cannot fix their anything. It's not their fault they're that way, but it's not in your power to fix them. They have to deal with that themselves. They have to want to deal with it, and they have to pull their own weight.
For people who are compassionate in nature, it's hard seeing that truth and letting them go. It's hard, because they see it as giving up. They didn't love enough. They didn't love hard enough, and that's why they failed. They couldn't fix them.
The truth is though, it's a different issue. You can love them immensely, they can love you back just as much, and the issue can still remain, and it can still be unfixable. Separate it from the love you have, or had, for each other.
Lily as a person is a excitement-seeking, naturally compassionate person. Those two things have led her to experience some of the most influential incidents in her life - her time with Atlas and her time with Ryle. Her story is a helpful message to women who are similar to her.
Don't rush into relationships. Don't get married and have kids unless you're certain that this person is fit to be the father of your kids. While dating, always remind yourself that breaking up is an option, even if you're deeply in love. Be firm and logical when they show you a part of themselves that go directly against your values. Remind yourself that you can't fix someone. Remind yourself that a person is multi-dimensional and never black and white. Therefore, even if you have had the most loveliest moments with that person, even if they have traits you absolutely adore and admire, you are still allowed and free to leave them if they have traits that you know will continue to hurt you.
Lastly, be brave enough to let them go and wish them happiness from afar. Be brave enough to close that chapter and be brave enough to accept that they are a part of your past.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 8 months ago
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Review #107-109
Review #107: Suzume
It was okay. It wasn't extraordinary. There are many other Japanese animation films that are more interesting, well-written and deeper than this film. I liked how they tried to provide an artistic and somewhat spiritual explanation behind the frequent (and devastating) earthquake disasters in Japan. I'm sure they are traumatic for Japanese people and many people who have been affected by them constantly question why they happen so much in their country and they wish they had some answers to their questions. I feel like this film tried to tackle that and provide some healing and explanation in the form of animated art. Kind of like showing the people that this is actually what happens when earthquakes take place, so don't be too afraid or heavy laden. But other than that attempt, I felt like I was pulled here and there throughout the movie (especially with Daijin and the appearance of Sadaijin) and I actually didn't like how Suzume was so incredibly obsessed and infatuated by the dude. I found it cliche.
Review #108: Monster
Neither the title of the movie nor the poster appealed to me when scrolling through the movie section, but the moment I saw the director's name I pressed play without missing a beat. It was my favourite director, Koreeda Hirokazu. I think I've given almost all of his movies a 5/5 on my blog. As I watched, every scene screamed his name in the calmest way possible. I absolutely love his minimalistically beautiful cinematography, the absence of music (I love, love, love how he doesn't influence his audience's emotions with unnecessary music, and I love how he tries to portray real life - in reality, we never have emotional music playing in the background), and the slice of life feel. I enjoyed and lapped up every single moment of this film.
However, the best, best part of the film was the unpredictable story. I was constantly questioning my assumptions and yearning for the actual truth. The film took me by the hand and slowly led me through each character's perspective. In the beginning, I empathised completely with the mother. How could the school do this? I went through every single one of her emotions - intense worry for my child, overwhelming anger at his teacher, and frustration at the principal. Then the film showed me the teacher's perspective, and I realised how one-sided I had been. This time, I went through the teacher's emotions, my frustration towards the principal evermore increasing, but now with the added suspicion that one of the children was either a bully or a sociopath.
It was then that the film took me to see the same story from the children's perspective. It suddenly all made sense, everything fell into place, and I understood why everything was so complicated and why the actual truth had been so hard to decipher and see. I couldn't believe how intricately the film had taken me through the journey. It had been a very long time since I'd watched a film where I simply could not predict what would come next. It had been a long time since I actually had no idea what the truth was. I was desperate for an explanation, and the film gave the audience the truth in such an interesting, mysterious, emotional, beautiful and dramatic way. Loved it. Loved the experience.
Review #109: Isn't It Romantic?
Okay, this was hilarious. I wasn't sure what to expect in the beginning, but I found myself genuinely enjoying the movie and cracking up throughout. I really liked the heroine, and I enjoyed her humour. In fact, the movie was achieving a high rating in my head until the end. To be specific, the exact moment was when the protagonist had that moment of realisation in the wedding hall and slowly said to herself, "I need to love... me." That was just cheesy, predictable, cliche, and ruined the entire movie for me. Even if that was the overall message, I'm sure they could have done it in a less cheesy and overly direct way. I dunno. I guess I expected it to end in a more witty and somewhat satiric way, just like they had been doing so till that moment. Suddenly it became some kind of self-help bestseller. Suddenly it became every single book and video and post that coo, love yourself, you can't love someone without loving yourself, learn to love yourself. I'm so sick and tired of that overly preached message. I guess I'd hoped that the film would have done it in a more... witty, new, and entertaining way. Oh well.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 10 months ago
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Review #106: The Wild Robot
5/5
I loved it. I loved the story, I loved the message, I loved the dialogue, I loved the beautiful animation, I loved the journey the film took me through, despite some of the obvious cliches. It's a good film. Also, yes, I cried.
Maybe I'll come back one day and write a little bit more on this film - I'm too tired right now to elaborate. All I can say for now is that it was a deeply moving experience.
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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 11 months ago
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(RE)Review #105: Batman
Nolan's Batman series, revisited and rereviewed.
It's currently 1:58am, I've just finished The Dark Knight, and I must sleep for tomorrow so this (re)review has to be short.
I can't remember exactly how it started, but it took me just one tiny Batman reference for the desire to rewatch the entire series to ignite in a split second. It was then I realized that I actually hadn't watched the first film yet - Batman Begins. And so it began.
I actually really enjoyed Batman Begins. The next day, I tried to rewatch The Dark Knight but couldn't, so I rewatched The Dark Knight Rises instead. Then tonight I finally had the chance to rewatch The Dark Knight. Below are some quick thoughts on each film.
Batman Begins (4/5)
I really enjoyed the film and its story as a whole. It took me through the journey in a very natural way. I wasn't thinking to myself, oh, here's the next act. Here comes the climax. This must be a third into the film. I was fully immersed in the story world.
I always seem to love the training sequences in films. I loved it in this one too, just as much as I loved (and still love) the training scene in The Dark Knight Rises. It was really fun watching Christian Bale and Liam Neeson train together. Speaking of which, I was actually shocked when Liam Neeson turned out to be the master villain. I genuinely was not expecting that, and I felt the betrayal full on. Batman saved you!
I was appalled at Rachel's words and actions and found it hard to swallow the fact that Bruce's one and only genuine friend would say such thoughtless, brutal words to him, and even slap him on the face. She seemed like the kind of person I would never befriend or keep close in real life. I thought to myself, that's probably the kind of character a film needs. It's not realistic and those kinds of words and actions wouldn't result in such a happy ending in real life. I've also started trying to detach my values, morals and just me myself in general from the story and characters in films. I realized that I have to view them as roles in the film, rather than suddenly turn into judge of morals and character.
That's probably the biggest fault I've made with each and every film viewing and reviewing. The inability to see the characters as characters in their own right, with their own lives, stories, experiences, morals, and constantly judging them from my own morals and life and experience and making conclusions about whether they're a "good" character or "bad" character.
Rachel in the movie was a harsh person who had no filter, but she was also incredibly brave and mentally strong. That's just the person she was. And being the person she was, she said those words to Bruce and acted that way to him.
I said I'd keep this short, and here we are, still talking about the first film. So yes, I did like almost everything about this film.
However. If I had to point out some parts that I didn't exactly buy, the first one that comes to mind is the scene where Bruce has his final initiation, with the ninja-like fighters surrounding him and constantly changing places. I found that scene incredibly... bland. As I watched, I thought to myself, this is so unexciting. It felt like a show. I couldn't believe this was the final initiation. It would've been nice to have had that scene a bit more exciting and thought out. I don't mean it has to have violence smeared all over it - not exciting in that way - but I really think it could have been more... smart and suspenseful.
The Dark Knight (5/5)
I still really like this film. I haven't yet read my original review of it, but I'm guessing I gave it 5 stars and gushed about how amazing it was, especially the high stakes.
I still stand by that. The high stakes, the no-nonsense consequences, are still the top highlight of the film. I think I gushed a lot about Harvey Dent's two face and his coin back then, but tonight the scene that stood out to me the most was when the big buff criminal comes forward, talks the officer into handing him the detonator, then just nonchalantly throws it out the window without a blink of an eye.
The Joker is still the best villain I've seen, with a stellar performance. This was a rewatch, and I was still on the edge of my seat, minimizing my screen and lowering the volume from time to time (ㅋㅋㅋㅋ). That's how chilling he is. He's so no-nonsense, and I love that about him. You know he'll do anything he wants and he'll make it happen. He's also incredibly smart, and we all love an intelligent villain that can create situations that force characters to make the most difficult decisions.
After watching Batman Begins, I grew somewhat attached to Katie Holmes' Rachel and had a hard time accepting Maggie Gyllenhaal as the new Rachel. I still wonder what the film would've felt like if they got to keep Katie as Rachel. I think the emotional depth would have been different. For some reason, I had a hard time with the new Rachel's personality / performance. This is something I'll have to dive a bit deeper into and sort out my thoughts.
The Dark Knight Rises (3/5)
It's past 2:30am so I really have to keep this short. I'd say this is my least favorite film out of Nolan's Batman series. The only scene I truly like is the scene where Bruce gives up the rope and jumps. That scene affected me hugely during my first watch and it still does.
This time round though, I wasn't as convinced by a lot of the scenes in the film. If it was so easily to smash the TV, why put it there for Bruce to watch? It doesn't make sense. Bane wanted Bruce to be in mental turmoil for a long long time, which was why he placed the screen there, but after one dose of mental turmoil, Bruce smashes the TV. It was that easy? Meh.
Batman's mouth. Or, would it be Christian Bale's mouth? But I didn't have a hard time watching Bruce Wayne talk, so it really must've been Batman's mouth. For some reason, I found the Batman's lines in The Dark Knight Rises incredibly cheesy - much more noticeably so compared to the other two films. I didn't really feel this way with the other two, but suddenly in this third one I found myself sometimes feeling queasy when he delivered lines and moved his mouth while doing so. I don't know. It was just uncannily cheesy.
Little things. Like, when Miranda (Talia) dies in that car after crashing. Catwoman, Gordon and Batman all stand around her and listen to her talk for so long about her life story until she dies and THEN they turn to the BOMB, which has been on a timer all along. Really? It was hard to believe they'd really do that. These are the things that get to me - when a film acts too much like... a film. When it makes it obvious to its audience that it's a film, it's all a script, made up and fake. No, as an audience member I want the film and the script to feel so real that I don't have to be pulled out of the story world again and again. I want to be fully immersed for the entire time frame. With The Dark Knight Rises, I found myself pulled out again and again by these little things.
I did love the ending though, and I had actually completely forgotten that Talia was the little child and Bane was the protector. I loved how I'd forgotten that, and I loved the surprise I felt when it was revealed. Until then, I had believed that Bane had been the child. Talia and Bane's relationship deserves a post of its own so I won't dive into that here, but I have to say I was amused when Talia called him "friend" while she left him to his death and saved herself. I do think Bane's love for Talia was incredibly unconditional. However, obviously not in the 'this should be shown as an example' kind.
I loved how the officer turned out to be Robin! I honestly did not remember seeing this part during my first viewing, so it was a very, very pleasant surprise. I also enjoyed seeing Bruce with Catwoman nodding at Alfred at the cafe. The ending was the perfectly satisfying wrap up.
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Review #104: 6년째 연애중
2/5
I'm not even sure if it deserves a two. Maybe it only deserves a one. But I'll give it a two, because I actually enjoyed the initial stages of the movie.
I just don't understand. This movie, and even the one I reviewed two movies back. That couple, and this couple, both of these couples, should have really stayed broken up. But I think this couple is worse. The guy CHEATED on her. Both guys in both movies are trash, but this one's worse. He cheated on her while they were still together. He went into HER HOUSE and used HER WINE GLASSES and took her WINE to cheat on her with another girl. That's how trashy he is. She figured it out later on too. She figured out that he was cheating on her, which is why she went off to meet the other guy. She never intentionally flirted with the other guy to get into bed with him. Her boyfriend DID, with that other girl. And she gets back together with him?! Someone explain this to me because I honestly... don't... get it...
Is it the mindset that a movie has to end with the couple always getting back together? Is that what the audience deems a 'happy ending'? The happy ending in this movie would have been that they stayed broken up and THEY FOUND PEACE with it. That's the happy ending! You make the girl cry over a guy who cheated on her, never really cared about her, and then give her an ending like that? Where in the world would anybody say that's a happy ending for her?!
I would have been so, so satisfied if they ended it with them just walking off, just naturally getting further away. There was nothing wrong with that ending. It actually would have shown that you can be with someone for that long and still be okay with not being together. It would have been a good message - that being together for so long doesn't mean you have to be together for longer. That being together for so long doesn't mean you're necessarily meant to be, and that sometimes you DO have to reassess the relationship (which, fyi, the guy avoided and didn't even try to talk it out).
I want a Korean movie about romance that is a bit more realistic. Not all couples get to talk it out that civilly (their scene on the rooftop) after such a bad breakup. She literally smashed his car window. She left with another guy. The two guys had a fistfight in front of her. She was at the hospital. And the next scene is of them talking it out calmly on the rooftop? Are you serious?
That's not the reality for most couples. That's not the reality for most breakups. If only all breakups could have closure like that. If only. But that kind of closure is rare.
I need a (Korean) movie that depicts reality a bit more. I'm not asking for a slice of life film or a documentary. All I'm asking for is that the couple actually BREAKS UP at the end of the movie and doesn't get back together, ever. Show people that couples have painful breakups and they just have to deal with it and they don't get back together because of so and so issues, which they can't solve.
Or maybe...
Maybe I've just been watching the wrong genre. I'm sorry. I've been bashing romcoms that are simply following the typical romcom tropes. Oops. Of course. These are romcoms. Of course the couple gets back together in the end. Of course. I'm sorry. I expected a drama film from a romcom. Thinking about it now, if I wanted to see a more realistic portrayal of relationships, I should have watched a film from the drama genre. Like 헤어질 결심.
I guess this is what I've been doing all along with my reviews. I've been judging them and reviewing them with my closedmindedness. I've been reviewing films from all sorts of genres with just one pair of glasses. I should have reviewed romcoms with romcom glasses and talked about how good or bad they were as a romcom, but I've been watching romcoms and reviewing them as me and watching dramas and reviewing those as me too. And that 'me' is actually quite limited in her thinking and has moral standards that go through the roof, so my reviews are just... me ranting about morals and reality.
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Review #103: 내 아내의 모든 것
4/5
I liked this movie. It was hilarious in many scenes. Sometimes it was funny because it was relatable, and sometimes it was funny just because it was so downright absurd and comical.
I have to say it got kind of predictable and shallow after the halfway mark. I really liked how the male lead was slowly becoming like the past female lead. I also really liked how the female lead was becoming more independent and happy in her personal life. It made me realize that even married couples need independence and a robust, fulfilling personal life in order for the marriage to go on strong. She changed once she got a job she liked and thrived in.
That's what I need. A job I really like and gain meaning from. That's what women really need, more than a husband. A husband isn't going to fulfill all your needs. You need many different aspects of your life for those needs to be fulfilled. Marriage, your husband, that's just one source of fulfillment. It can't be everything.
By the end, though, I was sick of the earthquake reference, and the predictable scene where they say the same words to each other under the table, meh. So damn forgettable and cheesy.
Other than that though, it was a really fun watch. I laughed out loud many times, and we all know I haven't done much of that recently.
And damn, I love 임수정 and 이선균.
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Review #102: 연애의 온도
동희: 내가 잘할게.
영: 너 충분히 잘했어.
동희: 그래. 너도 나한테 진짜 잘했어.
영: 맞아. 우리 둘다 정말 열심히 했어.
우리는 둘다 진심이었어요. 진짜 사랑을 했고, 아마 그건 내 인생에서 다시는 일어날 수 없는 가장 영화 같은 일일거예요.
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Review #101: A Bug's Life
I remember watching this film often as a kid. Watching it again as a 29 year old adult today, I realized just how well-made it truly is.
Pretty much everything about this movie was perfectly created and executed. Every single one of the characters were memorable and unique. They all had distinct personalities of their own, and none of them made me second guess the screenplay or drove me to annoyance. I never had a moment of "That is so unnatural. It's so obviously written to further the story." Every beat was done very naturally - it flowed, it made sense, and we were just in for the ride. I love that. When the screenplay is so well written, you forget that you were once a screenwriting student. You stop thinking about the 3 act structure, you stop thinking about the bad guy closing in and the protagonist losing it all and the final obstacle before the triumph. I absolutely loved the scene where Hopper crushes two of his men under the mountain of grain to prove a point. It was the perfect beat and explanation, two in one, to show the audience why Hopper was so obsessed with something that didn't seem that important and why were all amped to go back. It also rekindled the fear of Hopper in audiences and built up the tension that they were soon to raid the ants after such happy and hopeful scenes at the island.
That's why I love this movie and probably will rewatch it throughout my adult lifetime.
I don't think I felt this as a kid, but I absolutely loved Princess Atta and Dot this time round. Princess Atta was so human, relatable, had her flaws, but went through great character development and became a true leader in the end.
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Review #100: The Promenade (산책)
This film reminded me of Christmas in August and Bungy Jumping. Mostly because it was set in similar times, early 2000 Korea. The story was much better than Christmas in August. It was like a happier, much more optimistic version of that movie, and a more realistic and warm version of Bungy Jumping.
To keep this review short, I'd say that it was like a nice, peaceful, relaxing walk with moments of beauty and depth. I liked pretty much all the characters, and I grew to really like that man who was shallow and picky about women's appearances. It was refreshing seeing him change and grow. I really liked Lala too. She was the kind of character people would really start rooting for and attach themselves to. I also liked the father and the relationship line between him and the main character. I basically grew to like all the characters and how different they were and their various life problems.
It's a really calm and slow film, so it was nice for me to watch but I'm not sure if anybody else would enjoy it. There's no huge drama, but I've always liked movies where you just watch other people's lives and get a glimpse of their realities so I was fine with it. What I also found fascinating was how different Korea seemed to be just twenty years ago - the fashion, makeup, hair, way of talking, the tone and the buildings and sights on the street. It was interesting to watch. I was especially surprised at how openly the characters were discussing male and female stereotypes. Sexist remarks were said very naturally. That part reminded me of Bungy Jump.
I probably wouldn't watch this movie again, but I don't regret having seen it. The music and the band were nice too, and it made me think that maybe Hospital Playlist got some of their ideas from this movie. Highly likely, as they added one of the OST into their soundtracks.
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