hellodarling1357

[hellodarling1357]

ummm hello! Coming back to you is you coming back to us with a BANG!

honourable moments if you will

Cassian talking reader through her breathing (not the time but for sure there's other things he's talking her through

Their little Hl's once reader has calmed down

Cassian knowing her so well! "Nope, we're not doing that. I'm not letting you go back there"

Ummm hello excuse me "You were... wrapped up too tightly in that head of yours. I couldn't reach you" | COULDNT REACH YOU

MY POOR BABYS

just picturing cassian trying to reach her through the mating bond because he sees her begin to spiral

AND

CASSIAN

MY MAN

pouring his whole drink over himself to get everyone's attention off of her even

though there's literally millions of other things he could've done

ugh I'm so glad YOURE back

-🐛

Hahaha you’re the best! Absolutely love hearing your thoughts 🥰 Poor Cass was definitely standing there trying to remain calm when all he could think about was seeing reader begin to panic 🥺

The next request is almost finished btw so keep an eye out!

[hellodarling1357]

hello! i saw you are taking requests for cassian x reader, so i was wondering if you could do one where the reader is kinda shy with anxiety and like maybe about how he helps her in social situations to stay calm or he has to calm her down from anxiety attack? i hope you have a great day!!

Coming Back To You - Cassian x Reader

Hello!! I am so so so sorry this has taken me so long but I hope you enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Anxiety, panic attacks, negative self talk

*Not edited*

The smile that had been plastered on your lips for the past two hours was beginning to shake, the muscles around your face tensing along with the rest of your body as you tried to maintain a calm presence alongside your mate’s side. As the cluster of voices and laughter and clinking of glasses began to swirl into an incomprehensible jumble of sounds, you suddenly became all too aware of your breathing, your heart rate, the shakiness of your hands, the tension of your back, the—

Stop

Stop

Stop

Giving yourself a little shake, you attempted a deep breath in the hopes of calming your racing thoughts as Cassian’s hand gently wrapped around your waist, grounding you back into the present moment. You looked up at him, and felt everything begin to even out as you marvelled at how at ease he seemed, how confident, and how at peace he was in a room full of people - some known, others not. Your lip quirked up into a small smile, heart fluttering, as you watched him throw his head back in a laugh. His happiness was contagious, a familiar comfort that had you easing back into the conversation.

“Well then… what do you think about that, Y/N?”

The sudden switch in the small group’s attention being placed directly on you had that fleeting ease shriveling up just as fast. You looked away from Cassian, eyes taking in the faces watching you expectantly, waiting for an answer to a question you hadn’t heard; the realisation that you didn’t even know what they had been talking about had your face reddening.

“I…I…sorry, what was that?” A friendly chortle echoed around you as the male smiled good naturedly and repeated the question. You could see his lips moving but all you could hear was the blood pumping past your ears, the tightening of your chest, the quick intakes of breath… Gods, why couldn’t you just act normal. Be normal. There were more than a few occasions when you mind was left to wander after similar situations, traitorously asking how and why someone like Cassian could end up with you. Someone so charismatic, likeable, sociable, could end up being mated to, stuck with your mind offered, someone who couldn’t get through a single conversation without making an embarrassing mess of themselves, someone who—

“Oh shit, how did that happen?” You were torn away from your thoughts as all eyes, including your own, turned away from you to Cassian, whose drink had somehow ended up all over him. “Y/N, can you help me clean this up…?” He trailed off, giving an apologetic smile to the group before grasping your hand and leading you through the crowd of people and out the door into the quiet, secluded corridor.

Your mind was still playing catch up as he turned to face you, a soft, somewhat concerned smile gracing his features as he took in your expression.

“Sweetheart, it’s alright. You’re alright. Breath, okay? Just how we spoke about.”

Your mind cleared a little as you focused on his face, the gentle squeeze of his hands as they held yours. Following his lead, you took in a deep breath, tensing at the jagged manner in which you released it, however, you easily relaxed at the small presence you were only just noticing. Cassian’s calming tug on the mating bond pulling you right back to him. The two of you stood there in silence, Cassian’s hands enveloping your own, offering soothing squeezes and soft caresses across your knuckles, as the warmth from the mating bond slowly filled and took over all that you were.

Squeezing your eyes shut and releasing a final deep breath, you let what remained of your anxiety ease away and allowed for the space it left to be filled with the feelings of care and comfort and overwhelming, undeniable love that never once faltered from the beautiful male standing in front of you.

“Hi,” Even his voice, lowered to a gentle whisper, soothed you.

“Hi,” You repeated, biting your lip as you looked around and your senses came back in full swing. The sounds from the party, the expectant looks as you fumbled over your words… Gods what must they all be thinking—

“Nope, we’re not doing that. I’m not letting you go back there. Y/N, you’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you, yeah?” The reassuring certainty and the squeeze of your hands grounded you once again. Your feet pulled you forward as you all but fell against Cassian. His arms immediately circled around you, holding you against his chest as he caught you. He had always and would always catch you.

The two of you stood in the empty corridor, ignoring the call of the party and the music, all you were focused on was the steady rhythm of Cassian’s beating heart and the warmth he enveloped you in, and the sticky feel of…

“Cass…,” you begin, pulling your head away from its place against his chest as you peered up to meet his gaze. “Did you pour your drink all over yourself?”

“Umm, yes? Yes I did.”

“What?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh as Cassian pinched your sides. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know, I panicked…,” Cassian laughed with you, hands trailing up and down your spine as he felt his own tension ease away as he took in your laughter and smile. “You were…wrapped up too tightly in that head of yours. I couldn’t reach you.” His quiet admittance had a wave of feelings washing over you.

“Oh,” you pulled back a little, that uncertainty, those betraying thoughts peaking up once more, reminding you of what you constantly put Cassian through. “Sorry.”

An expression you couldn’t quite place crossed Cassian’s face but before you could begin to interpret it you were lifted off the ground and all but slung over Cassian’s shoulder.

“What! Cass, what…! What are you doing? Put me down.” Your exclamations, mixed in with unrestrained laughter fell on deaf ears. Instead, Cassian started tickling you, ignoring the way you swatted at his back and struggled to get out of his grasp, and didn’t stop until you were breathless with laughter, falling limp as he continued to hold you against him.

He gave you a moment of reprieve, fingers stilling until they lingered in small, soothing circles against your back. “Don’t do that, Y/N. You have nothing to apologise for…”

“Cass, I—“

“Nope, again, I’m not letting you do that. I am going to keep tickling you until you take back that sorry.”

“Cass, come on…”

“I’m really not joking about this, sweetheart.” And to prove his point his fingers found your sides again, the bond sending down a wave of amusement, adoration, love…

“Fine!” You exclaimed, fighting for breath. “Fine. Okay, I’m not sorry. In fact, I take back every sorry I’ve ever said to you. But… thank you, okay? I’m allowed to say thank you.”

Cassian placed you back on the ground, refusing to let go as his hands found there place on your hips.

“I think after I poured a perfectly good drink all over myself a thank you is definitely allowed. But thank you for taking back that sorry.”

You let out a sigh, features softening as you leant up on your toes and pulled him down to you. The feel of his lips gently moulding against yours was the final push you needed to fully fall back into yourself. Instead of being overcome by racing thoughts, you let Cassian overtake every part of you.

“Want to go home?” Cassian asked, lips trailing across your jaw.

“Shouldn’t we stay a little longer, appearances sake and all that.” You tried to counter but without even having to look at you, Cassian knew that was the last thing you wanted.

“Nah, we’ve shown our faces, made the rounds… I think we’ve played our part.”

You nodded, taking Cassian’s hand and letting him guide you towards the balcony. Just as he moved to pick you up, you stopped him.

“Cass, I just…” You looked up at him once more, melting into his touch as a calloused finger eased over the furrow of your brows. “Thank you. I know you don’t want me saying sorry for ruining the night and for always getting like that… but thank you for being the one to bring me back.”

Instead of answering straight away, Cassian let out a soft sigh before gently cupping your face as he placed a tender kiss to your lips.

“We, my love, are going to have a long, long conversation when we get home. I think you need to be reminded of the fact that you having these feelings and these thoughts is not a burden or an inconvenience or whatever else runs through that head of yours. You are my mate. I love you, words can’t express how much I love you. And there is not a single thing I would change about you, alright?” He kissed you once more, fingers softly wiping away the tears that trickled down your cheeks.

“You really wouldn’t change anything?” You hated yourself for asking. You knew, deep down you knew, that whatever your brain told you wasn’t actually true but you were still feeling vulnerable.

“Well… I don’t know, maybe the snoring, I would change the soothing, but other than that I wouldn’t change anything. Not. A. Single. Thing” He said between kisses, grinning against your lips as you gently hit his chest.

“I don’t snore. You snore.” You grumbled as Cassian pulled you into his arms. The feeling of complete and utter safety settled with you.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

———————————

Requests are open! 💌

[hellodarling1357]

Can I just point out how attentive Cassian is? What an amazing *friend*! He knows/remembers when Y/N is sick, knows she likes a to do list and is just all around perfect! So torn between wanting this to be a slow burn and you deciding to prank us and say they’ve really been together all along

OMGGGG More Than a Moment!!! Damn I forgot about this fic, just opened my notes app and I’ve got so many ideas and half written bits and bobs saved away…

[hellodarling1357]

👻

👻 (is this bc I low key ghosted everyone)

[hellodarling1357]

Hi, we talked briefly a couple of weeks ago :D

I just wanted to let you know that I have tried to link you in my masterlist (my personal recs and faves on my acotar blog @illyriasswetheart ) but your link somehow doesnt work.

I hope that it's okay that I linked you, but i'll erase it if you prefer that.

Lovely regards, Cynthia <3

Hello!!!! Ahhh this is so lovely, sorry it’s taken me literally forever to get back to you but that is so fine!!! 🥰

[hellodarling1357]

While I get back into the swing of writing again (thank you for all the requests they’re fab!!) what’s everyone’s thoughts on me doing some more one-shot type pieces for Tiny Toes? I’m stuck on the plot and chronological part of it but love this little family so much and have a heap of little ideas in mind…

While we are at it, I know it’s been a minute (*cough*months*cough*) and I will go through my inbox, but what do you want to see in Tiny Toes?

[hellodarling1357]

Fanfiction is so silly. I am playing with my dolls and people are coming over to watch. Some of them even clap and give me compliments. And when I'm done playing, I can go and watch other people play with their dolls.

[hellodarling1357]

Send me some cassian/reader requests 😇

Can be whatever, one shots, AUs, related to previous writing bits and bobs, anything to keep this lil’ writing spark going now that’s I’ve got the urge again!

[hellodarling1357]

[hellodarling1357]

Ok so uni got a little hectic but things are a bit quieter this week so I’m hoping to get the next part of More Than a Moment out soon 🥰

[hellodarling1357]

It’s been 4 days, give me a minute…

Where’s the next chapter

In a word doc xoxo

[hellodarling1357]

Where’s the next chapter

In a word doc xoxo

[hellodarling1357]

Hello hello! I’m just planning out a bit more of More Than A Moment and was wondering if anyone had any particular prompts, scenes, requests, etc. that they wanted to see at some point in the series?

It doesn’t necessarily have to be between cassian/reader+/-baby but can be with the other ACOTAR characters as well 🥰

[hellodarling1357]

More Than A Moment: Part 3 - Cassian x Reader (AU!)

Wow! This is record time for me. Who knew the crushing weight of needing to do literally everything and anything else would be such great writing inspo!

Read part 2 here!

Hope you enjoy 🥰

Summary: After a drunken night between friends, just friends, nothing more, Y/N and Cassian’s lives end up changing forever. But maybe not in the way they had originally expected.

Word Count: 1.6k

After what felt like both hours and seconds, you let out a sigh and dropped the controller onto the couch.

“I win. Again.”

“Hardly, this was all just beginners luck.”

“Wow. How about you cast your mind back to, I don’t know, maybe every other time I’ve won Mario Kart–“

“Once. That was one time.”

“Yeah, only because you’re all a bunch of sore losers who banned me from playing any other time.”

“Well…that’s beside the point! Clearly I’m going to be off my game, what with being a bit distracted by the fact that you’re…” Cassian trailed off with a sharp intake of breath.

“Mm,” the palpable tension a stark contrast to the flashing colours still emanating from the screen. “It’s almost as if you’re implying that I wouldn’t be distracted by that.”

Cassian’s lip twitched in amusement but it was clear to both of you that time was up.

“We should talk.” The seriousness in Cassian’s tone was a stark contrast to the easy quips that had initially broken your Mario-Kart-induced silence.

“Yeah, we should,” shifting to face him, you studied Cassian’s features for a moment before quietly asking, “what’re you thinking?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not what I expected you to say and I’m still sorta in shock but...,” fiddling with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, Cassian hesitated, eyes darting your way for a moment before his gaze turned back to the floor. “But,” he continued, “it’s not the worse thing you could’ve said?”

“What?”

“No, I mean… it’s just in the sense that it’s not what I expected and, yeah, I was caught off guard, but initially I thought someone had died or something. I’ve never seen you so serious and upset before.”

You gave a quiet hmm in acknowledgment as your mind began to process what he was saying. He was handling the whole situation a lot better than what you originally expected, at least on the outside, which you were selfishly grateful for.

“What about you?” Cassian asked, pulling you from your thoughts, “what’re you thinking? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine…–ish,” you added with a smile that didn’t quite meet your eyes. “It’s been two months so I definitely didn’t expect the test to actually turn up positive. And I feel like I’m all over the place, I didn’t think it was humanly possible to experience so many emotions over just a few hours—“

“That could be the hormones.” Cassian interjected with mock-seriousness, earning him a cushion to the face.

“—I just mean,” you continued, “that I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling. My heads all over the place and I don’t know if I want to cry or sleep.”

Cassian shifted from his side of the couch, letting out a breath as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against him. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that had you melting even further into him. You supposed any form of comfort would be more than welcoming in your current state…

——————

The two of you sat together in silence for some time, both deep in thought and not wanting to break the small moment of comfort you were allowing one another; the brush of Cassian’s thumb against your shoulder seemed to be the one thing keeping you tethered to reality.

“Do you even want kids? In all the years we’ve been friends, you’ve never mentioned it before.”

“Yeah, I do.” Cassian replied, voice so certain that you were surprised you didn’t already know this about him. “I know that might seem surprising given… past actions. And I don’t know if I’d be any good at being a dad, but yeah I’ve always wanted to have kids someday.”

When you didn’t respond straight away, Cassian shifted beside you, nervously fidgeting with his drawstrings once again. “I mean, obviously I’d have to change a few things… But I would do that, you know, if there was a kid in the picture. And I might not be great but I think I’d do my best and—”

“You would be a great dad, Cass.” Interrupting his nervous rambles, you straightened up, not quite moving away from his side but just enough so that you could properly look at his face; the raw emotion catching you off guard as he glanced down at you, brows pinched together as he considered your words.

“You think so?”

“I do,” your voice sincere and levelled, understanding of his apprehension and concern falling into place as you remembered that his own father had rarely been in the picture. “One, you would for sure be the fun dad and, two, more importantly, you would be there for them. Think about all the times you’ve dropped everything for one of us. Even today, you’ve been so amazing even though I’m sure you’ve been freaking out internally.” Your voice is teasing but you squeeze his hand to show that you truly mean it.

“Oh. Well, thanks, Y/N,” A soft squeeze of your hand in response has a short-lived smile gracing your features, one that quickly disappears when Cassian turns the conversation back onto you. “We’ve spent an awful lot of this talk discussing what I’m thinking and feeling. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those deflection skills coming out.”

“What deflection skills? I was just asking you about yourself.”

“Those deflection skills. We’ve managed to talk a whole heap about the current situation without actually getting anywhere with it. Now, what do you want to do?”

Scrunching your nose, you let out a groan and slump against the back of the couch. “I want to drink.”

“Easy. I’ll grab us some drinks and then we can… Wait, hang on. No, you can’t drink. Right?” Your pouted lip gave Cassian his answer. “Right, okay, no drinking. I can get us some paper and a pen? You love a pros and cons list. That could help us work out if we’re going to keep them or not.”

Cassian hesitated midway off the couch as he noticed the glistening in your eyes which you quickly tried to hide with a sniff as you looked away. While you had both been mulling over the question all day, neither of you had directly mentioned the details of the decision you needed to make.

“I don’t know what to do, Cassian. I just… I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t meant to happen like this, or now. There’s still so much I haven’t done and I… I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” you managed to maintain a relatively stable voice, despite the tears streaming down your face, as you looked desperately to Cassian as though hoping he would have all the answers. “What do you think we should do?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. It’s up to you—”

“No, you can’t leave it all to me. That’s not fair, I shouldn’t have to make this decision by myself.” Your frustration was evident as you snapped back at him, knowing it was unfair in the way Cassian held his hands up in defence but being too clouded and overwhelmed to take it back.

“If you’d let me finish,” Cassian fixed you with a pointed look to which you offered an apologetic smile in return, “I was going to say, it shouldn’t be up to me because I’m not the one who would be carrying them and growing them for the next few months. But whatever you decide to do, I’ll fully back you and stand by your side. You won’t be doing this alone.”

The two of you sat in silence as you mulled over everything Cassian had said; contemplating what he had, whether knowingly or not, admitted through his choice of words.

“So,” you started, avoiding Cassian’s eye, “you think we should keep it?”

“I didn’t say that-“

“You didn’t have to,” you offered a small smile before continuing, “you wouldn’t be the one carrying them, I would be, as in you’re thinking about a future where this happens. You’ve started referring to it - them - as them, as a person, not just a potential blob of cells. You want this baby.”

Cassian tensed, eyes darting across your face, mouth opening and closing as though wanting to say something and thinking better of it.

“Cass?”

“I think so,” despite the slight shake to his voice, the expression on his face was one of certainty. “Yes. Y/N, I do want this baby. And that isn’t to say that you don’t have final say in the matter. But… I dunno, sure this is so, so far from the fragment of a plan or timeline I had in mind for myself. And maybe we aren’t in the ideal position but I really think we could make this work. We both have good jobs, a good group of people around us, we get along… look, put it this way, if I had to have an unplanned and unexpected baby with someone, well, I’d be happy to have one with you.”

You couldn’t help the tug of your lips when you took in Cassian’s slightly flustered appearance, a faint red tinged his cheeks as he looked at you cautiously from under his lashes. Hearing his words, his true thoughts about the matter at hand, had the tension and uncertainty ebbing away. Yes, you will still beyond stressed and scared and every other possible emotion. But now you were also certain that Cassian would stick by your side, solidifying the potential future your mind had been pulling you towards all day.

“Alright then, looks like we’re having a baby.”

——————

I would love to hear any thoughts/suggestions/ideas you have 😍

Also, let me know if you would like to be tagged xx

Tag List:

@cassianstannn32 @tele86 @6v6babycheese @beardburnsupersoldiers @e1jeyy @illyriassweetheart @mistymoocow

[hellodarling1357]

Ultimate Ask Game

🥰 - I love your blog 😊 - I'm so glad I follow you 🤭 - You make me laugh 😇 - You're one of the kindest people on this site 🥺 - I'd really like to be friends 🤩 - I admire you 😎 - You're one of the cool kids 😴 - You should sleep more 🌞 - You brighten up the dash 🧸 - Soft vibes 🤠 - Yeehaw vibes 💪 - Don't Fuck With Me vibes 🧠 - You're so big brained 🔥 - You're a hot mess 🦈 - You intimidate me 📜 - Your fics are top tier 🖼️ - Your artwork is stunning 🎨 - Your gifs/edits/icons/etc. are fantastic 🎤 - You have an amazing voice 🥂 - I would get drunk with you 💰 - I would rob a bank with you 🚓 - I would lie to the police for you 🍟 - I would share my fries with you 👻 - I would go ghost hunting with you 😘 - Kissing you on the forehead 💋 - Kissing you on the mouth 💝 - I love you (platonic) 💘 - I love you (romantic) 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 - I think we'd make good tumblr spouses 💍 - I would marry you if you asked 💀 - I would help you hide a body 👽 - I would believe you if you said you were abducted

[hellodarling1357]

i just know cassian would cry at the birth 😭 regardless of what conversations happened or if he even considered suggesting not keeping it he would immediately regret ever thinking that and fall in love with his baby immediately 🥺

Oh 1000% he’s going to be so emotional and supportive and I can’t wait to write it!

[hellodarling1357]

PLEASE tell me that Cassian’s whole “you better not be in love with me” attitude in part 1 is really just him projecting because he’s in love with reader PLEASE

I mean maybe 🤷‍♀️ he might not know that yet though 😉