helloisthisusernametaken

[helloisthisusernametaken]

the other day at work, I met a man who I think was 100% a werewolf. he was very charismatic but in a weird way and it was cold but california cold and he had on a very large fur coat and flannel underneath with a single huge tooth on a necklace? he even had sharp canine teeth that did that thing that anime boys do and poke out a little when he smiled?? I saw him for 5 seconds but he was very beautiful and was buying raw meat.

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[helloisthisusernametaken]

I work at a daycare with infants.

One of our baby girls is fat, in the 99th percentile for her age. She is super cute and sweet. Lately, she has been sick with various breathing issues, so she has been reluctant to take her bottles. Normally, she’ll take 4 ounces of formula at lunch and 8 ounces in the afternoon. Today, I was lucky to get to her take 5 all day.

There was a substitute covering a lunch break in my classroom today. We emphasized to her that we need to keep trying to get the baby to drink her bottle until she finished it. She said, “Why are you guys so worried about taking her bottle?”

My coworker replied, “That’s where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water.”

To which the substitute replied, “But she’s so fat. She doesn’t need it.”

Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn’t think she’s too fat to be allowed to eat.

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Okay but how much funnier would romcoms be with a bewildered and clumsily supportive aspec best friend character, just sayin

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Logan: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Virgil: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

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useless ancient roman law facts

if you call someone to witness and they refused to show up, you are legally entitled to stand outside their house and scream, but only every third day

you can sell your son into slavery once or twice, but after the third time he doesn’t have to put up with that shit anymore

no wailing allowed at funerals

also you can only have ONE funeral per person, don’t get greedy

if your neighbor’s tree has a branch hanging into your yard, you can legally cut down the entire fucking tree

however, if some of your neighbor’s fruit from his dumb tree falls into your yard, he can legally come into your yard to snoop around get it

if you call someone to witness and they’re too sick or old to get to court themselves, you have to provide a cart for them to come in, but it doesn’t have to be, like, a nice cart if you don’t want it to

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archaeologists digging up my bones: “wow these things sucked whoever owned them was a real asshole”

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Daily #42 Art Block

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more fake twitter bc I’m bored

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going to work today for a 4 and half hour shift at 8 in the morning just feels like a minor inconvenience on my day like wtf

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Panic cleaning when someone is coming over is basically you destroying evidence of being a slob.

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just think about how when thomas’ anxiety is at its strongest, virgil is always there and equally as wound up. think about his previously cold exterior and how the sides didnt like him at all back then.

think about how now, hes calmer and so is thomas. he speaks in a soft mellow way and now the four of them are friends. think about how much patton loves him for being him.

now think about (fictional) thomas’ anxiety easing over time until its nothing more than a flight or fight response. think about virgil slipping away as each day passes, but he doesnt panic because thomas is calm and so is he. think about the sides gathered around for a final farewell as a quiet, slowly-moving virgil tells them he loves them as he closes his eyes for the last time and slips away.

think about how peaceful he is in his final moments, surrounded by his loved ones.

think about how he doesnt feel anythig but warmth and love until that too fades into nothingness.

think about how heartbroken they all are, but especially patton, because although its not a sad death (nor a death, not really) its still heartwrenching to see him go.

[helloisthisusernametaken]

Logan: Book smarts

Patton: Emotional smarts

Roman: Artistic smarts

Virgil:

[helloisthisusernametaken]

Don't feel ashamed of doing "CHILDISH" things

•buy toys/dolls/crayons •play with Legos •play old videogames/dress up games •weave friendship bracelets •watch cartoons •use stickers •draw pics of your favorite characters

If it makes you feel nice, do it. Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.

You deserve to enjoy yourself.

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Me, gritting my teeth: You garbage website. You garbage, garbage website-