hellowelcomehydes

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Baby on a bed

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little wizard hat

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give me serotonin, please *boop*

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Poppy boat!

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Visited the lil Cali poppies

April 16, 2023

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Pink air bnb + pink haired bb 🌷💗

San Luis Obispo, CA, October 2022.

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10/10/22

Went outside to check on my dog cause I heard a yelp and as soon as I opened the door to the backyard and as I turned on the light, i see my brother sitting on a floor mattress, tears streaming down his face, broken..and alone..and he looked up at me with such deep sadness and said "can you tell Mom that I'm here, i came back from Robert's house". These interactions makes me question everything and i didn't know what to do or say besides "ok" and then closed the door. Questioning to turn off the light or keep it on. But i closed the door and felt so .. cruel. Wondering if he was high or not is what I ask myself every time i see him. And then actually seeing his face so ashamed and frightened and with so much sorrow makes my heart hurt every time. I freeze and my reality is strange sometimes and i wonder how it is like to be him, like really truly be him. What kind of excruciating pain does he feel? And then i remember that I am his sister, I am not him. I am a my own person, i am not him. I can only do so much, I just want him to be well again, seeking therapy, making amends, finding peace with himself etc, i want all that for him...but does he want it? How long will we wait for him to wake up?

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My bf and I arguing through text about the theories behind the architecture of the Egyptian pyramids

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My little forest friends! 🌿🍂🎭

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Bday gift from bb ❤️ Anbu Kakashi Hatake!! 🎭

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9/13/2022

Day 28 on the medication and I feel like it has changed my perspective on life. I am able to enjoy so much more than I was ever able to. Well, I knew I still enjoyed things even when I wasn’t taking anything but I felt a lot more sad days without being on medication as well. I am able to think of solutions to problems more readily, I feel like I am more invested in new friendships, my relationships with loved ones, my classes, the art that I am able to create, and I even feel an improvement in my mental clarity. I wake up earlier and my sleep feels more restful than before. I told my new (monthly) therapist about this and she is so proud of me. I am also proud, I must be. This is a lot to take in but I can finally take it in, if that makes sense. I want to enjoy my life and to finally feel like I am is definitely a big step in this lifetime recovery (it feels like). I know I’ll have not so pleasant days here and there, naturally. I still need to keep in mind that I am a human being and this life is flawed and challenging yet the meaningful connections and little pleasures have made it all so worth it. My brother seems more like my dad every time I talk to him, nowadays he’s been living out of town, surviving somehow. My concerns for him are still present but less crippling than before, I am able to face him once again while also placing boundaries when needed and stopping myself from feeling guilty about recurring situations whenever they arise. One day at a time.

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The prince has arrived

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Date night 💗☕️@iandrewlol

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Julia Jacklin - Be careful with yourself

Such a beautiful song.

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Hmm someone's a little worried about these face masks..

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Among them, naturally.

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Even if it's little

Hang on to it

Black graphite pencil and white charcoal