hellsite-junior-detective

[hellsite-junior-detective]

amateur detective who solves crimes out of curiosity and then just. doesn't bother to tell anyone the identity of the perpetrator

[hellsite-junior-detective]

Hey detective, could you help me figure out where radioroxx went? I can't find their account, can't tag them, and every time I click on their profile pic it just says nothing was found?

Might be a problem on my end, I'm on mobile and accidentally hit "mute this blog" on a notification that I didn't see properly, so it could've been them, but that doesn't explain their profile vanishing, I might've missed something important

Yeah this isn't a joke I just felt the need to employ the help of a talented detective

Detective notes, case #9

Oh, finding a lost person! Thats a new challenge, I'll see what I can do! ...this was less hard than I expected honestly. I misunderstood the request at first (I thought it was ra-dioroxx because of how the ask looped), but highlighting the ask brought me to a blog that actually exists!

I think it must be a problem on your end, I was able to access their blog pretty easily

[hellsite-junior-detective]

okayssss I'm back again

the post im looking for is actually like reblog of the writing prompts blog, the prompt was something like "you have been sentenced to 400 years in prison but now it's the 399th year and the gaurds are getting concerned"

and it continues as a story from pov of the prisoner and like her crimes and stuff and like yeah it ends with her befriending a rat?? (i dont clearly remember oh my gosh) and umm so yeah that's the post I would be really happy of you did that!!

thanks in advance!! <3

Detective notes, case #8

Another text post! But a specific reblog this time... lets see what I can find! I found it... this is a amazing story honestly. I'm part of the way through it, but I have to go schedule this post before I forget!

[hellsite-junior-detective]

hey junior!

can you please help me find this post that went like this:

"*voice of guy who risks his life to save you* i don't care"? or something similar to that?

thank you so much!

Detective notes, case #7

A text post, that should make this easier! Coming right off of 2 hard cases, I'm happy for a easier one And it was, luckily for me! The wording is slightly off, but I do hope its the correct one...

Edit: Oh god, I didn't realize I didn't actually attach the post. Here it is! I'm so sorry

[hellsite-junior-detective]

hi! could you please find the post of a video where ernie from sesame street is talking about his niece? the desc was something about how he was talking n breathing n how real it felt. “we should bring this back” or something

Detective notes, case #6

Oh sesame street... not the largest part of my childhood, but a part Videos require a new tactic for searching - I cannot rely on tracking down a image of my target, nor scan for key words, my tactics for images and text based posts A new challenge acquired, I set off on my hunt A quick search through google turned up a video which I believe is correct (I'm not in a place where I can watch videos rn, so sorry if I get this wrong), which just left me to find the post my client was looking for So I started looking for tumblr posts, on the way discovering this gem of a hunt for a piece of lost sesame footage (sadly unreblogable now) Rapidly losing hope (I've never been good at videos...), I turned to one area of this job I haven't mastered yet - the tumblr search bar And... I FOUND IT! It took so long, but I FOUND IT It's amazing how one success can change your excitement so much, one found post, and I am ready to continue looking

[hellsite-junior-detective]

Can you find the comic where Bart Simpson and Chris Griffin get couples therapy from Bobby Hill

Detective notes, case #4

Truthfully, I wasn't expecting a comic like this to exist - my fault for doubting the internet A simple enough case to jump back into working, I have been able to track it down with a quick search

Enjoy your comic!

[hellsite-junior-detective]

the fan spun slowly and lazily above my head. the sound of rain pounding on the window just beyond the blinds, while normally soothing, now only added to the sense of isolation. on my desk, strewn across it and the rest of the room, were cases. unopened, forgotten. a glass of liquor sat half filled on the only clear space on that desk, the rest having gone down my gullet and straight to my head. projects unfinished, my novel barely touched, life preventing me from continuing…

i considered, for a moment, locking the doors of the office for good. shutting it down and leaving this all to the rats. setting fire to the remains and walking off into the fog one last time. but then i thought about the cases. those people who needed my help, lost without their posts. it made me feel wrong for abandoning them in their time of need, like i was no better than the crooks who hid their posts away in the dark recesses of the city.

so the thought of what to do lingered in my mind, what to do, how to move forward. those cases sat on my desk untouched, my coat and hat unworn, and my whiskey cabinet nearly empty. the faces, the names of all those people i helped and all those i had yet to help. the service i provide is a necessary one, fight back against the evil of this city’s algorithm.

then i thought of my schedule crossed my mind. the old schedule of three cases per day was efficient, but unsustainable. but perhaps if i solved one post per day, this would be significantly easier to ensure the schedule can be maintained. a singular burst of motivation on one day per week would cover me indefinitely…

i stood from my desk, grabbed my keys, coat, and hat, and approached the door. was i really about to do this? was i about to make this call and reopen my office and offer my services to the world? my heart pounded as i slid my key into the lock. there was a hell of a lot of work to do, but dammit if it wasn’t worth it. to have purpose again, that’s what really mattered here. i turned the key, opened the door, and stepped outside onto the street.

the rain fell slower now, as if the heavens themselves could feel my spirits lift. the air was cool and brisk. fall was coming on fast. the paperboy came along to drop off the news when i called out to him…

“ay, boy! spread the word!” i said to him. “the Hellsite Detectice is back on duty…”

[hellsite-junior-detective]

...yeah no I'm drawing 25

Detective notes: I have decided to be terrible at Uno rather than do my j-

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I have discovered stun spells hurt

[hellsite-junior-detective]

hello! can you find that post where someone is like "i block literally everyone i blocked someone for liking the colour orange" and then ppl reblog with their own additions of why they blocked someone?

On the first page of a new notebook, handwritten, in cursive or print it's impossible to discern, reads a note:

Detective notes, case #3

I ought to record my thoughts as I work. Will make for a more enjoyable referencing of my cases.

A simple case, but one worth finding — a liberal use of one's ability to block is essential to life in our city.

Honestly, blocking for simply liking orange is a touch out of my understanding, but I suppose I do have beef with the yellow, so I ought not speak.

I have found a few options, but none which I believe are my client's exact chain. Luckily, I have found the initial post! I wish them luck in finding their desired reblog chain.

[hellsite-junior-detective]

are you gonna stay casual, or did you want to try out, like,a noir or British detective affect in your posts to imitate your predecessor a little? (totally fine if that sounds like too much work)

I'm probably gonna stay casual for now, but we'll see where it goes!

[hellsite-junior-detective]

ooh okay so im gonna ask this ask here

so uhh a while back when i was scrolling through pinterest, as you do, I came across a tumble post screenshot about this movie "passenger"??

and op has an amazing story of how better passenger would've been if the mc (idk the actor's names or anything I'm so sorry) would've just yk stayed awake and not wake anyone else, excluding the romance subplot.

while he's awake, he's talking and knowing about the other 499 people on the spaceship. so like at first it goes like normal stuffs he knows about them, that is recorded in the small cameras that each cryogenic pod has, and it goes like "oh you're born in [town] wow I wanted to visit that too" "you are a beekeeper?? ig that's the modern cryptid now, eh??" yk just normal talks

then it turns into "oh you should meet [name] you both have similar jobs and interests" "oh I think [name]'s grandfather served in your country they would've definitely tried [native food] from there" and so and so making connections

and like ofc he dies because he's aging others are not, and when this group does eventually end up on the planet they were sent to, they are first awkward but after watching a few of those videos they don't need ice breakers because they know exactly who they'll bond with and who they need to know about so it's like a really nice bonded community already

(i kinda dont remember the details ahead of this which is why I want to find the post but I cant find it anywhere and I haven't eve saved it on Pinterest too ig so there's that)

so dear junior hellsite detective, can you please find this post for me??

(im so so sorry for the long ass ask but yeah okay thank you bbyeee)

Don't worry about the long ask! Details are always nice <3

This was a bit of a tricky one, though — there were a few options.

I think this is my best find. It seems the most like what you described (and isn't really negative)

[hellsite-junior-detective]

hi! can you find the post where someone is like name that frog, and someone else declares the frog bong water?

I think this is what you're looking for? I can't say I've heard of this before

[hellsite-junior-detective]

I'm glad to help!

[looks up "big supernaturals tumblr"]

[entire search results is supernatural the show not. the post about ghost tits]

honestly not entirely sure what i expected there

[hellsite-junior-detective]

I've been putting this off for a while, but

@hellsite-detective, hi!

I am a gimmick blog inspired by you, here to help the people of tumblr find posts!

I am still learning, but I feel confident enough in my skills to actually let you/your followers know I exist.

Hope you're having a fantastic day!

[hellsite-junior-detective]

Sorry for the long pause, school started, but I may have some leads for you!

This one has a link to a twitter post that has since been deleted, making it hard to tell the inspiration, but it does have a drawing

The second post I found doesn't have a drawing, but it does have an image that seems like your description

This is as far as I've gotten, but if one of these isn't your post I'm happy to help look!

[looks up "big supernaturals tumblr"]

[entire search results is supernatural the show not. the post about ghost tits]

honestly not entirely sure what i expected there

[hellsite-junior-detective]

I'm on the job! Unfortunately, I am not familiar with the post, so do you have a more in-depth description of the post for me?

[looks up "big supernaturals tumblr"]

[entire search results is supernatural the show not. the post about ghost tits]

honestly not entirely sure what i expected there

[hellsite-junior-detective]

rb if you are a gimmick so I may follow you