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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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INDEFINITE HIATUS
thank you everyone for sticking with me during my time on this blog ! unfortunately, i haven’t been able to find the muse or the interest to get back into tumblr. but i’m seriously going to miss everyone omg !! please feel free to im me for my discord !!
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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IM GOING TO NATIONALS !! so, for the next two weeks, my activity will remain very very sparse. i’ll be available in ims and on discord ( like this post for that ) to plot and things but will not be posting during that time as i will not have access to my laptop. i cannot wait to get back into clay on here and the fandom, since it’s resurrected !
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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( * &. ━  13RW S2 SOUNDTRACK LYRIC STARTERS.
BACK TO YOU. 
‘  let a couple years water down how i’m feeling about you.  ’
‘  i gotta convince myself i don’t want it even though i do.  ’
‘  you could break my heart in two.  ’
‘  you could break my heart in two, but when it heals, it beats for you.  ’
‘  i know it’s forward, but it’s true.  ’
‘  i wanna hold you when i’m not supposed to.  ’
‘  you’re stuck in my head and i can’t get you out.  ’
‘  if i could do it all again i know i’d go back to you.  ’
‘  we never got it right.  ’
‘  what’s the point in hiding?  ’
‘  everybody knows we got unfinished business.  ’
‘  this isn’t what it could be.  ’
‘  it’s just a thing you make me do.  ’
‘  i could fight, but what’s the use?  ’
‘  you know i’d go back to you.  ’
LOVELY.
‘  thought i found a way out.  ’
‘  you never go away.  ’
‘  thought i found a way out, but you never go away.  ’
‘  i guess i gotta stay now.  ’
‘  i hope some day i’ll make it out of here.  ’
‘  need a place to hide, but i can’t find one near.  ’
‘  isn’t it lovely, all alone.  ’
‘  tear me to pieces.  ’
‘  hello, welcome home.  ’
‘  something’s on my mind.  ’
START AGAIN.
‘  can’t i just turn back the clock?  ’
‘  i just wanna roll my sleeves up and start again.  ’
‘  i know that i messed it up time and time again.  ’
‘  i swear i was looking for disaster.  ’
‘  just because i come home after doesn’t mean you’ll take me in.  ’
‘  my world is spinning like it just might explode.  ’
‘  i need to see some light come in.  ’
‘  feeling like maybe i’m unappreciated.  ’
‘  feeling like my presence in your life has been alleviated.  ’
‘  i feel like everything i’ve done before is different now.  ’
‘  you never knew it ‘cause i never showed you.  ’
‘  you gave me the world, so i feel i owed you.  ’
‘  i promise that we’re gonna make it somehow.  ’
‘  open up your mind and maybe we could start again.  ’
FALLING SKIES.
‘  even though the sky is falling down, don’t let me go.  ’
‘  don’t let me go.  ’
‘  i don’t want to die.  ’
‘  i don’t want to fight.  ’
‘  i have never seen the person you are perceiving.  ’
‘  i don’t wanna be alone when i start breathing.  ’
‘  so tell me, what does it matter?  ’
‘  right now you are my only hope.  ’
‘  it’s only you and me.  ’
‘  hold me close, don’t let me go.  ’
‘  let’s smoke a cigarette before the world explodes.  ’
‘  dying by your side, what a heavenly way to die.  ’
‘  we are in the middle of a fucked up crazy design.  ’
‘  stand by my side.  ’
‘  there’s no way to control it.  ’
‘  we might as well be holding each other.  ’
THE NIGHT WE MET.
‘  i’ve been searching for a trail to follow again.  ’
‘  take me back to the night we met.  ’
‘  then i can tell myself what the hell i’m supposed to do.  ’
‘  then i can tell myself not to ride along with you.  ’
‘  i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m supposed to do.  ’
‘  haunted by the ghost of you.  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you.  ’
‘  your eyes were filled with tears.  ’
‘  when you had not touched me yet.  ’
TANGLED UP.
‘  i just think about you.  ’
‘  got me wondering why we never tried again.  ’
‘  i can’t live without you.  ’
‘  i’m starting to find this is a fight i can never win.  ’
‘  i can’t get you off my mind.  ’
‘  you do this to me every night.  ’
‘  we’re wasting time.  ’
‘  go on without me.  ’
‘  it feels like a bad dream.  ’
‘  let me love.  ’
‘  i need us.  ’
‘  on and on it goes now that i’m alone.  ’
‘  let me run.  ’
‘  i get myself all tangled up.  ’
TIME.
‘  i wish i could’ve turned the clocks around.  ’
‘  the weight of the world is pulling me down.  ’
‘  everything was easy.  ’
‘  you don’t know what you got until you fall to the ground.  ’
‘  i can’t sleep at night.  ’
‘  are we breaking down?  ’
‘   i never thought i would want us to turn back around. ’
‘  are we out of time?  ’
‘  we’ve come so far.  ’
‘  i wish i could’ve seen the stars align.  ’
‘  it was never gonna happen any other time.  ’
‘  everything was easy when i didn’t know you.  ’
‘  you don’t know what you got until it’s gone into the blue.  ’
MY KIND OF LOVE.
‘  she thinks i’ve got a heart of stone because i left her all alone.  ’
‘  i’ve got a heart of stone.  ’
‘  i left her all alone, lonely tonight.  ’
‘  she thinks i’m gonna break her heart, i tell her that i’m not, but maybe she’s right.  ’
‘  maybe she’s right.  ’
‘  i know i can’t hold you like he does.  ’
‘  i don’t have those emotions in me.  ’
‘  it’s true, i can’t love you like he does.  ’
‘  i can’t love you like he does, but it’s my kind of love.  ’
‘  i’ll show you love.  ’
‘  she thinks i’m just an animal.  ’
‘  i’ll throw this thing we have into the fire.  ’
‘  she tells me that i will die alone.  ’
‘  my kind of love, it’s a deeper love.  ’
‘  it’s a darker love, my kind of love.  ’
YOUR LOVE.
‘  you say you’ll take me higher than i’ve been.  ’
‘  it was a feeling i never wanna live in.  ’
‘  holding on you anyway.  ’
‘  i’m trying to stop the heartache.  ’
‘  i don’t want your love.  ’
‘  i don’t want your love if you can breathe without it.  ’
‘  i don’t want your love if you don’t dream about it.  ’
‘  i won’t be the one if you don’t want me to.  ’
‘  i don’t want the way you feel about me.  ’
‘  i don’t wanna stay if you can be free without me.  ’
‘  don’t wanna give it up if you can’t give it back.  ’
‘  i never was a dreamer, never wanted to pretend.  ’
‘  when the night comes i still feel you.  ’
‘  in my dreams, you never end.  ’
‘  i want you to be with me.  ’
‘  i want you to be free.  ’
‘  i want you to remember that i don’t want you to fall.  ’
THE KILLING MOON.
‘  under the blue moon i saw you.  ’
‘  soon you’ll take me up in your arms.  ’
‘  too late to beg you or cancel.  ’
‘  i know it must be the killing time.  ’
‘  fate, up against your will.  ’
‘  he will wait until you give yourself to him.  ’
‘  so cruelly you kissed me.  ’
‘  your lips a magic world.  ’
‘  the killing moon will come too soon.  ’
PROMISE NOT TO FALL.
‘  you’ve got your back against the wall.  ’
‘  everything is your fault.  ’
‘  you promise not to fall.  ’
‘  you said yo were.  ’
‘  promise me to call it off.  ’
‘  i’m feeling things so be sure.  ’
‘  promise me it will all be good.  ’
‘  does this feel good to you?  ’
‘  you promised not to fall, didn’t you?  ’
‘  we finally struck a line.  ’
‘  i can see in the darkness there in your eyes.  ’
‘  you’re pretending that it’s all fine.  ’
SANCTIFY.
‘  i’m the one who knows who you are.  ’
‘  give me your confession.  ’
‘  life’s been tearing you apart.  ’
‘  i know how it can hurt.  ’
‘  don’t break.  ’
‘  sanctify my body with pain.  ’
‘  sanctify the love that you crave.  ’
‘  i won’t be ashamed.  ’
‘  you don’t have to be straight with me.  ’
‘  i see what’s underneath your mask.  ’
‘  i’m a man like you.  ’
‘  there’s fire in you.  ’
‘  you know it’s gonna hurt.  ’
‘  you’ll find redemption when all this is through.  ’
‘  forgive me for finding the truth.  ’
‘  love takes it toll on me.  ’
‘  i’m just like you.  ’
‘  maybe it’s heavenly.  ’
SOUVENIR.
‘  it’s so hard.  ’
‘  it’s leading me astray.  ’
‘  it’s my creation.  ’
‘  you’ll understand.  ’
‘  it’s not important now.  ’
‘  all i need is coordination.  ’
‘  i can’t imagine my destination.  ’
‘  ask my opinion.  ’
‘  no excuse.  ’
‘  my feelings still remain.  ’
WATCH ME BLEED.
‘  heaven comes to he who waits.  ’
‘  i know i’m getting nowhere.  ’
‘  all the deeds of yesterday have really helped to pave my way.  ’
‘  there’s no one near me now.  ’
‘  watch me bleed.  ’
‘  although my face is straight, it lies.  ’
‘  my body feels the pain and cries.  ’
‘  i am full, but feeling empty.  ’
‘  i’ll hide my pain.  ’
‘  i won’t complain.  ’
‘  i’ll lie right back and take the blame.  ’
‘  i try to tell myself i’m living.  ’
‘  where do i go?  ’
‘  where do i run?  ’
‘  what’s left of me or anyone when we’ve denied the hurting?  ’
FALLING (IN DREAMS).
‘  i never would have told you.  ’
‘  i will not forget it as long as i live.  ’
‘  i will not forget something that i cannot forgive.  ’
‘  i’ve gone far enough.  ’
‘  it’s your time.  ’
STRENGTH.
‘  give me love.  ’
‘  give me hope.  ’
‘  give me strength.  ’
‘  give me someone to live for.  ’
‘  who will light the fire that i need to survive?  ’
‘  who will be the life blood coursing through my veins?  ’
‘  i need someone i can depend on.  ’
‘  i’m a man of emotions who can’t hid the tears.  ’
‘  i’m a man of feeling who can’t hide the pain.  ’
‘  no one knows my name.  ’
‘  i’m at the point in my life where i need affection.  ’
‘  i need to know that i’m still alive.  ’
‘  open up a door and let me out of this place.  ’
‘  i’ve been caged up for so long.  ’
‘  i don’t know if i’m living or dying.  ’
‘  i can’t control what i’m going through now.  ’
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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send me “-👕” to catch my muse without a shirt on
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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goodnight !! stepping back for a few minutes made me feel a lot better and i wanted to just tell you guys that i love you and i hope you have a really great day and weekend and life because you deserve it for all of your hard work doing your daily things. it’s hard to keep up with routines and it’s hard to fall out of them and keep going, but you do it every day and i am so proud of you.
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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also yes i know i have ims and i know i’m not answering a lot of them but it’s almost midnight and i’m suddenly in a really dark place mentally and emotionally and i literally can’t reply without being Not Myself so please don’t spam me trying to get my attention if i’m not replying i swear i’m okay i’m just doing homework and then i’m going to go to bed so don’t worry about me !!
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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another update on my canon divergence: clay doesn’t reference books on depressed teenagers ok that’s not a thing and i know it wasn’t directly said in the show but some of the stuff he says ?? sounds like actual straight up quotes from some “dummy’s guide to depression” and it makes me mad so we’re not going to be seeing that here. my boy is sensitive to all that stuff and will not be so robotic in his reactions to it. also clay and skye ?? a couple ?? whomst ?? not here !!
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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...
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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FIRST THREE IN MY INBOX GET KISSES
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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because i won’t be able to get to the starter call today ( very sad face ) here’s a PLOTTING CALL so we can talk about the starters i’m going to write this weekend !!
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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slides the dash $2 …….. ship with me
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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okay, so i have decided to exclude clay and sky’s relationship from my personal canon on this blog and to focus more on hannah’s presence in his life after her death. however, i will say that skye and clay were good friends and he cared about her. however, i will not roleplay the two of them in a relationship. this is the only difference from canon that i have decidedly gone with, so please stayed tuned for more !
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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STARTER CALL !!
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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❝  no, yeah, it’s fine,  ❞  words were suddenly soft, tone far more gentle than even just moments before. slim fingers reached for the other teen’s sleeve as he began to take slow steps backward, away from their current surroundings and back toward his car. ❝  we should- we should get out of here, though.  ❞
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HELMOT / CLAY JENSEN
❝  i told you to call me next time. this shit can’t just keep happening when- when you’re feeling like crap, okay? you gotta stop. i told you i’m here for you.  ❞  //  starter for @justinfcley
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            ❛          I  KNOW    !          ❜          you  bark  ,  hand  wringing  your  opposite  wrist  ,  fingertips  digging  into  the  skin  –  a  weak  attempt  to  shift  your  thoughts  .  the  ache  .          ❛          i  know  ,  i’m  sorry  .  i  just  –          ❜          a  sigh  ,  head  falling  as  jaw  clenches  .          ❛          i’m  sorry  .          ❜
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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❝  i told you to call me next time. this shit can’t just keep happening when- when you’re feeling like crap, okay? you gotta stop. i told you i’m here for you.  ❞  //  starter for @justinfcley
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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when the fandom revives slowly
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helmot-blog1 · 6 years
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as of now, this blog is canon-divergent ! i haven’t quite figured out what i’m leaving out yet but i’m for sure not including some of season 2 because i really can’t see how it plays into clay’s character and i really don’t support a lot of what’s shown in the episodes. it’s throwing me off a lot and idk what to think about it
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