help-me-please-i-dont

[help-me-please-i-dont]

Maki Naro @ The Nib

[help-me-please-i-dont]

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

[help-me-please-i-dont]

For edgy discussions I guess. And if anyone needs or wants help. A place where people can just... do whatever I suppose.

[help-me-please-i-dont]

Suburban Winter

Late on a Sunday afternoon, a young man walks his dog through the snowy prairie. The dog had finally finished its business and they could both go home. The sun was already setting, which meant that the sunlight couldn’t provide any more warmth for long. The young man wore a brown coat with cotton lining the inside, along with black gloves and blue jeans. His hiking boots were coated in snow, some even melting into his socks.

The young man, whose name was Ishmael, called for his dog with a hand motion, and the good boy, named Tim, began trotting over to him. The man and the dog had some similar features, such as the jet black hair and the general scruffiness about them. Ishmael’s beard, however, was quite long for a man his age. He most certainly had not shaved for quite some time, and while the hood of his coat shielded it from view, his hair was quite long.

Ishmael and Tim hiked for 10 minutes or so before they reached a short hill that lead into their little subdivision. As they approached the top of the hill, Ishmael knelt down next to his dog and attached a leash to Tim’s collar.

The sun had begun to set, and many of the houses had begun to turn on lights inside. As Ishmael walked down the street toward his parent’s house, he looked through the windows of the houses he strolled past.

He saw silhouetted figures walking around their homes, preparing dinner or watching Wheel of Fortune. Perhaps some were enjoying hot cocoa and a warm fire while the family argued over which Christmas special to watch tonight. Ishmael was reminded of days long past, similar to the ones he could see through windows. He wished he could turn time back to a decade ago when life was easy and the hot chocolate was any good.

But he was snapped back to reality when he heard a voice from across the street. “Howdy, neighbor! How’re you today?” a friendly middle aged man shouted from his doorstep.

Ishmael felt for the holster hanging from his right leg and turned around. “Oh I’m just fine and dandy today Mr. Wolf! I wish I could stay and chat but I really oughta be getting home now. My mother will be worried sick” Ishmael said in an appropriately pitched midwestern accent.

The man across the street paused for a moment. “My name isn’t Mr. Wolf, it’s Jeremy Irons. And you don’t have a mother anymore, Ishemall”

Ishmael took out the suppressed Beretta 92 from its holster and fired two bullets rather nonchalantly at Mr. Irons. The 9mm rounds hit where his heart would be. Sparks flew out of the holes in Mr. Irons’ chest as he collapsed to the ground.

The gunshots were quieter than a normal shot, but they still echoed through the subdivision. Ishmael holstered the pistol and started running, much to the confusion of Tim, who had not reacted to any of the recent events.

Ishmael ran down the street to his parent’s house. He could hear the sirens on the opposite side of town. Tim couldn’t, but he was happy to be running through the snow-covered lawns alongside his master.

Ishmael sprinted across the ten inch snowbanks to his door, and shoved his key into the door. He let Tim in first, then walked in and closed the door behind him. The lights were out. The heat was not on. Ishmael took off his boots and peeled off his wet socks. He put on the slippers that sat near the door and walked upstairs to the laundry room, where he found a pile of last week’s clothes stuck in the dryer.

After sorting out his laundry, Ishmael walked downstairs. He was greeted by Tim, who was rapidly wagging his tail. Ishmael checked his watch. “My goodness, it’s almost 30 minutes past your dinner time! Oh I’m so sorry Timmy, I’ll get it to you right away” he said in a high-pitched baby talk voice. After pouring Tim one cup of kibble, Ishmael began to look through the pantry. Still had plenty of peanut butter and Nutella, and plenty of bread to go with it.

[help-me-please-i-dont]

Uh. That’s me. Tada