heortgryre - Tumblr blog

[heortgryre]

hello my friends, i am no longer on tumblr in any capacity because i enjoy having better mental health, but if you liked my portrayal of kylo ren or just like my writing, i have an ao3 account now! hope to see you there, and hope you all have a delightful time!

[heortgryre]

takes a deep breath ROGUE ONE WAS ALL ABOUT HOPE FOR THE FUTURE AND ALSO PERSONAL REDEMPTION JUST LIKE THE REST OF STAR WARS AS A COLLECTIVE BODY OF MEDIA AND HOW ANYONE CAN LOOK AT ALL THAT AND DECIDE THAT KYLO “I’M BEING TORN APART” REN, GRANDSON OF ANAKIN “MASSACRED CHILDREN WITH A LASER SWORD AND CO-RAN AN EVIL FACIST DICTATORSHIP FOR 20 YEARS AND STILL CAME BACK TO THE LIGHT” SKYWALKER ISN’T GONNA GET IN ON THAT ACTION IS FUCKING BEYOND ME

[heortgryre]

kylo ren: [ cinemasins jeremy voice ] what isn’t a path to the dark side?

[heortgryre]

woah hey how’s it going friends college is really fun and interesting but also takes up a lot of my time and has been sucking up motivation to write. however, i think i’ve got some of my motivation back lately, so i’ll be popping by here to do some drafts!

[heortgryre]

duolingo finally put the hebrew course on mobile and let the record show that hebrew is REALLY HARD

[heortgryre]

“you’re up early!”

jokes on you i didn’t sleep at all and am in between energized and dying

[heortgryre]

i’m currently having a bad time in splatoon so if y'all wanna send me some headcanon asks i will happily answer them between matches.

[heortgryre]

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach.

[heortgryre]

also, i’m not sure if this isn’t obvious enough already, but just in case it isn’t – i’ve become canon divergent since i went on temporary hiatus. i think the whole thing with ben being sent to luke later and turning to the dark side later is a load of bullshit, so i’m sticking with the earlier canon where ben was ten when he was sent to train with luke and fifteen when he destroyed the order. it makes more sense with his state of mind. i also don’t think leia and han falling apart affected him nearly as much as feeling like a failure to them did, so that’s also going into my portrayal (i also personally believe han and leia wouldn’t fall apart at all, but i don’t have a say in that particular matter). so, there you go – that’s where my portrayal diverges. he’s affected by not being able to live up to his parent’s legacy, begins to hear snoke when he’s very young, gets sent to train with luke at age ten, and destroys the jedi order at fifteen. but, though i diverge in backstory, i still follow the canon established in the force awakens.

[heortgryre]

[heortgryre]

The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

[heortgryre]

@ziinariya​ replied to your post:@ziinariya replied to your post:🙋 + childhood...

🙏 🙏 🙏 b r i n g it

are. are you sure. do you really want me to bring it. do you really want me to.

[heortgryre]

@empireworthy replied to your post:🙋 + childhood memory

WOW I AM WEAK Af

welcome to hell may i take your order

[heortgryre]

@ziinariya replied to your post:🙋 + childhood memory

WHY WOULD U DO THIS

@ziinariya replied to your post:🙋 + childhood memory

wtf iM

dont test me and my infinite patience to dissect exactly how ben was warped into kylo ren because i will do it in vICIOUS DETAIL

[heortgryre]

ziinariya:

▏▶︎Ŧ-И◀︎▕

                                                                                              with trembling knees, fn-2187 had made his way from dock to barracks. downcast eyes, almost hunched shoulders, he looks nothing like the pristine white troopers that surround him. he’s been MARKED, branded with streaks of blood, sand and upturned dust congealing in the iron to blur half of his vision..

                 he NEEDS to get out of here. he needs to escape and seek out life elsewhere. unless he can find sanctuary in the outer rim, he will die on this ship. it will  k i l l  him. this place? what they do, what they trained him to do, it will take ALL that he has, all that belongs to him and he will cease to exist. 

                                                                                            ( the screaming——— the screaming is the worst. in the dark, with his vision partially obstructed, eight-seven can almost pretend the crumpling shadows are just a trick of the light. but they scream, you see. they scream for the children, they scream for their mothers, for AESIR himself to come down and save them but all the universe has in return is a bright red bolt tearing through the flesh of their stomachs as their lips part mid-prayer. they scream and eight-seven’s own heart screams with. )

                 once again blended with the sea of white plastoid, eight-seven attempts to come up with a plan——— there must be a way. he must find a way. and as his SKITTERISH focus brings him down to the belly of the ship, feet carrying him along familiar routes whilst mind drifts across the stars for a viable plan, he’s startled by a deep, unnatural voice that belongs to the one person he does not want to see ( in his mind, there is the cutting motion of red and the smugness he feels roll off its wielder. in his mind, he sees a monster ).

                                                                                               ❝sir———❞ deep breaths. where are you right now? flitting eyes under the helmet as his muscles stand at attention. ❝i was just heading to the uh— weaponry. i was told to get my BLASTER checked out, sir.❞

        “A wise answer.”

          He walks, and shadows spill from him, eldritch tendrils of darkness creeping up unsuspecting prey; the air around him shakes, each atom quivering whilst forming itself into a minuscule arrow in search of a target. The Force is vast and wild, untamed, spanning the whole of the Galaxy -- and when he wades through it, he makes waves, sending entropic cataclysms before him and leaving disorder, destruction in his wake. His power is a raw one, a strength transmitted and perceived by instinct alone. One does not need to be able to feel to Force in order to sense their encroaching doom.

          He circles his quarry, striding from shadow to shadow to obscurity without diminishing his presence. He detects fear in the soldier -- good. Fear is his ichor, the divine lifeblood with which he sustains himself; the nectar of the gods would not make him so strong as terror does. But there is a problem, a slight hindrance. Is the trooper afraid merely because he should be, or because he's lying? Strong in the Force though he may be, such subtleties yet elude him -- though, only because he holds no wish to find such a distinction, of course. He has other ways of finding out what he wants. No one can resist his power for long.

        “Wise, but untrue. You have one more chance, FN-2187.” He pronounces each character in the soldier's service number deliberately, like an obituary, a death sentence. It is.

          He emerges from the darkness behind the trooper, brume swirling about him like a storm cloud; without a moment's hesitation, he looms over 87's shoulder, a goliath awoken. No faux cordiality in his voice now, he Speaks once more: “What is it you intend to do?”

[heortgryre]

🙋 + childhood memory

Send “🙋” + any headcanons you want to know about my muse.

He doesn’t remember a lot from his childhood. He’s still got the memories, but they're blocked out. He doesn’t dwell on em. For one thing, he doesn’t want to remember his parents, his family, his childhood joys. For another thing, he doesn’t want to remember the midnight abuses Snoke incurred upon him via the Force. So, yeah, he doesn’t think about it.

There are, however, some memories that still haunt him, no matter how hard he tries to forget – the funny thing about memory is, the harder you try to make it go away, the stronger it becomes. This particular memory is from when he was around nine or ten, just a little bit before he was sent away to Luke – and, in his mind, the cause of his exile from his family.

We need a little backstory first, though. When he was a really little kid, still just a baby, really, his favorite stuffed animal was of an Endor rabbit. He loved it to bits. When he started walking, he carried it around with him everywhere, and his parents would always say, “Ben and Bunny are coming!” When he learned to talk, he would reply with an excited “Benny Bunny!” It was adorable.

As the years progressed, Snoke began to gain more and more influence over him, but it wasn’t quite control yet. Still, it brought him closer and closer to dabbling in the Dark Side, and he grew from a precocious and soft-spoken child into a broody, reserved young boy. To try and coaxe some social activity out of him, his parents got him a pet rabbit when he was six, which he promptly named Bunny – give him a break, he’s six. And for a long while, it worked. He was overjoyed to have a real bunny of his own. Ben helped Han build a little rabbit hutch and pen next to their home, and Ben would play with Bunny, carry her around with him, feed her, brush her fur, and spend most waking hours with his pet. It was delightful.

Fast forward to a few months before he gets sent to Luke. Snoke’s influence has morphed into some level of control, and he’s aching to solidify it. Ben, who doesn’t know any better, still hasn’t told his parents about the voice in his head. He’s still trying to make them proud, and he thinks Snoke can make him stronger so he can live up to their legacy. But now, he has to prove his mettle. He has to show his dedication. Snoke has a request of him, and the memory of it is burned into him forever.

He takes Bunny out far away from his home, and he strangles her.

He doesn’t want to do it. He’s crying. Bunny is shaking in his arms; she can tell something’s wrong. And Snoke is telling him, Do it. Show me that you’re strong. Show me that you don’t have any weakness. Kill your sentiment. And he wants to be strong – he wants to be like his parents, he wants to show them he isn’t weak, because surely that’s what they think of him? This is his last chance; they’ll give up on him if he doesn’t. He’s weeping, tears streaming down his round cheeks, mucus dripping out of his nose – he’s still just a child. The voice gets stronger; it taunts him, tells him that it knew he wasn’t strong enough. He puts his hands around his rabbit’s neck. Good, it whispers, now squeeze. His sobbing could shake a planet; his sorrow is causing tidal fluctuations in the Force. He wraps his fingers tight around Bunny’s neck, and stars above, she’s screaming the way only prey animals do when they’re caught in the jaws of a predator, and that’s what he is now – a predator. He just wants the noise to stop. He’s crying so much. He snaps her neck.

He comes home to his parents in tears. Snoke tells him to say that Bunny ran away, and he does. He’s fully under Snoke’s control, now; he’s the sleeper agent, the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Several months later, he’s sent away. He failed – he couldn’t convince his parents that he was strong enough. They think he’s a failure – they’re ashamed of him, hiding him away where no one will see him. Now, now, does Snoke have a hold with which to turn Ben against his family. And he does.

[heortgryre]

when u wanna fight: (ง︡’-‘︠)ง when u REALLY wanna fight: (ง︡’෴’︠)ง