heres-someart

[heres-someart]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[heres-someart]

obviously the morally against shipping boundary warrioring mcyt panopticon of 2021 was terrible but by god was it so beautiful to have a fandom where platonic relationships were adored above all else

[heres-someart]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[heres-someart]

somatic symptoms of anxiety are so fucked. what do you mean I got so scared my body decided that it needed to add nausea and headache and dizzy to the situation. how is it helping

[heres-someart]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[heres-someart]

Bring Me The Boss Hog

[heres-someart]

Let’s all light a candle and pour one out for all the trans men who never got to figure out they’re men because they were raised to believe they couldn’t ever be anything other than a wife and a mother and if they ever left the church that all their friends and family go to then they’ll burn in hell for all of eternity. May the names engraved on their tombstones fade to nothing and the dresses they were buried in disintegrate.

[heres-someart]

now feels like a good time to reiterate that Iranians have been martyred by america + israel already, both empires that possess nuclear weapons, and that Iran does not have nuclear weapons. so now is not the time to joke about america getting nuked-- any retaliation on Iran's part is justified and the only way we escape this situation, but Iran is not going to nuke us, because the entire premise that Iran has nukes is how america justified bombing them and also the exact same rhetoric we used against Iraq and how we killed my countrysmen when there was again no evidence of nuclear warfare. New York City is not going to get fucking nuked. go listen to a podcast or something

[heres-someart]

I hate that fuckin post that’s like “actually it’s not useful to say westerners enjoy a level of luxury never before imagined in human history because um. Kings didn’t have to worry about the rent” and like. Well actually I don’t know if you know this but historical rulers sort of did have a rent to worry about called the national treasury and oftentimes they’d just be straight up killed if that shit was empty but also like. I dunno like you live in a world where at literally any moment you can choose to be entertained by nearly any piece of media or culture we know of, you can eat literally any kind of food you’ve ever wanted year round with no interruptions, and also for the first time in human history getting a boo-boo isn’t just a guaranteed death sentence. Like yeah you may have to pay for these things but these are still luxuries. They are still offered to you. You think fuckin Richard the Lionheart could hop in a car, drive 15 minutes, and eat some Chinese food? You live in the most luxury-filled, convenience focused society in human history you need to start being cognizant of that.

[heres-someart]

Pollinators Week

Prints are available on my RedBubble shop (link in pinned post)

[heres-someart]

Pollinators Week

Prints are available on my RedBubble shop (link in pinned post)

[heres-someart]

rb with whether people assume you’re older or younger than your actual age

[heres-someart]

@caramalized-orions

kink at pride, but it's just someone carrying around a computer

[heres-someart]

@bitter-hibiscus

[heres-someart]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[heres-someart]

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here