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We looked inside some of the posts by hesitationamalgamate and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
2
Likes Per Post
1
Reblog Per Post
1
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
20 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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Man maybe he was right and people really Do need to stop babying you I swear to fucking god.
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Augh it hurts
#I wish you were okay with long distance… I thought my feelings went away but I don’t think they did
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I need new friends for real I’m so tired of this
#fucking.#every damn holiday it starts with one issue and then spirals because no one can control themselves
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I’m excited for the possibility that I might be able to like get into a relationship soon because I Want one… but I know I have a lot of work to do first which makes things complicated… I know if I jump the gun and try to hook up with someone right now it probably won’t work out well for me but… I kind of want to anyway lol
#once I have the birth control implant thingy I think it’ll help me feel safer too#I am looking for other gay men primarily so… anything helps with that anxiety
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How to stop thinking about a person
#like the weird thing that’s making me feel gross about myself here is that I still want to fuck him.#like. I knooooow when I talked to him about stuff a few days ago that I didn’t come out and say that#but like. maybe he could tell? and he was being so nice to me about everything but I’m just like#conceptually you could be in to me if we lived in the same place and I could be into you. perhaps. but#like you’re not… disgusted by the concept???#how am I supposed to stop thinking about you when you’re not disgusted by me?#that’s a fucked up tag. oops#it’s just like damn I want you. so bad. but I don’t know if it’s just because I know it won’t happen#it’s safe if it can’t ever happen…#but like it sucks when it stops being fun to think about because I think it’s safe. I want to actually be an adult and have relationships#and have sex with people and I’m tired of being afraid#I’m still aromantic- I don’t think that will change unless I get a lot of therapy to unpack the attempts my brain makes of romance#and even so I’ve never been extremely interested in people or heteronormative romance either#but. god. it’s like I’ve seen through so golden universe reflection of what I could have with my life and now I’m unsatisfied#but I’m such a mess right now I don’t think it’s a good time for me to want stuff like this#and like the Other issue is that he told me I should find someone to fulfill a dominant role because it might make me happier#where the Fuck am I going to find one of those that isn’t him first of all and second of all I want that but NOW#I’m wondering if I only want that because I was told to do so by someone I want to fuck#blah#hate it here
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Genuinely sad about being let down so kindly because it feels like this might have been my only shot at a normal relationship with someone. Which is insane to me. Because I knooooooow it’s not but like I genuinely think we could be so compatible in a lot of different ways and I’m sad that it’s not meant to be
#I don’t want to do long distance stuff either because it is So hard but he’s genuinely so nice#and like. blah#the potential was nice too#speedrunning emotions about people and relationships that never took off#it’s hard to picture myself trying dating apps when I know how badly I treat people lol
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i wonder what my life would be like if you lived in state
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Experiencing levels of advanced bored horny hitherto unforeseen
#being off of T for a year really like. activated something in my body somehow#I feel like this is my third bout of puberty but like this time it actually is doing what people say it does
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Ohhhhhhh my god I have it so bad rn
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Get. Out. Of. The. Kitchen. So. I. Can. Use. My. Vibe. In. The. Shower. Without. You. Hearing. It. Holy. Shit.
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Man I love you but I don’t want to keep shouldering your bad emotional decisions. I’m kind of tired of it
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Like not only have I never even seen a picture of this guy but I’m also in No rightful headspace to be acting like this LMAO
#he’s just. very cute.#he might think I’m actually stupid though so that’s the only thing I really don’t like about him
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Being bored and horny at work is Unbearable when you have someone in mind
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I know this isn’t true but I feel like I’m failing as a friend of I notice someone going through it a little bit and can’t fix them just by talking to them
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Had a dream about him where we were normal friends again and woke up and cried
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I don’t get the fucking point anymore. Life is not worth living if I have to live it like this.
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