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You know, I would tell people that I suffer from a paraphilia on Tumblr if it weren't for the fact that most people on Tumblr read "paraphilia" and assume that it automatically means 1, I have the worst paraphilia imaginable (you know the one) and 2, that it means I actively want to harm people because I have a mental illness that I didn't chose to have in the first place.

Do I condone partaking in non con paraphilias? NO! But do I have one? Unfortunately, yes, sort of. I'm attracted to the dead, but I would feel absolutely HORRIBLE if I ever acted on it IRL. I'm posting this rant on this specific side blog for obvious reasons. Read my username.

For those of you who actually want to learn:

How do people develop this paraphilia? By being extremely lonely throughout their childhood and/or other long lifetime period. You yearn for someone who won't reject or leave you. Does that make it ok to act on? Absolutely NOT. Firstly, it would be INCREDIBLY disrespectful and humiliating for the non consenting deceased person and their mourning family. Second, you risk getting insanely sick.

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I'll see if I can speak of more pressing issues on this blog depending on how people react to my previous post.

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I will be posting essays on this blog about anything and everything, so feel free to unfollow if you only want content of a specific media

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I like how Captain Curly is written. He's a peacekeeper. I myself, am a peacekeeper, I can relate. I'm not saying it's a good thing, in some cases it's really not a good thing and I admit that. For example: the rape of Anya. Curly tries to play it cool and de-escalate the situation like he always does. But this is rape. This isn't an average, more tame problem. This is very serious and peacekeeping isn't usually an option in cases like this. Also take into consideration, there wasn't much time for Curly to act further about the situation before the crash. To my understanding, Anya only confirmed she was raped to Curly when she told him she was pregnant. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong in a polite and civil way). So if I'm right about that, Curly REALLY didn't have much time to fully process the situation and act accordingly. Also keep in mind, he's good friends with Jimmy. If you found out that someone you don't care for is a rapist, you would automatically take the survivor's side. If you just found out that one of your good friends had raped someone, you'd be in denial at first because you like your friend. You would hesitate at first, even if only for a second or a minute. Some people, depending on who they are and how close they are with the rapist, might need proof to fully believe it. Only after you've gotten proof that the survivor is in fact a survivor of your friend's assault would you stop giving your friend the benefit of the doubt. What kind of proof? Well, that depends on the person, some people need more proof than others, it also depends on how close the person is with the rapist. I believe Curly is in a situation where he needs more proof. He wants to inform himself on just how bad the situation is in order to make a decision. Which is why he talks to Jimmy. He talks to Jimmy hoping for humanity, any kind of regret, he's hoping that Jimmy will take responsibility for his actions. He's also secretly hoping it wasn't really Jimmy who did it. Also also, he wants to see both sides. Which is usually a good thing, but when it comes to rape, it should be pretty obvious that you should take the survivor's side. But Curly doesn't know that, he's used to smaller, lesser situations, so he acts as if it's a smaller, lesser situation without realizing that's what he's doing. He's trying to process everything. Maybe if he had time to process everything, it would hit him that hey, this situation should be handled more seriously and you can't keep being the peacekeeper to make it better. Because Curly does like and respect Anya, he has no ill will towards her, he's just plagued by his peacekeeping nature and bias due to his friendship with Jimmy. However, he doesn't have time to fully process the situation because, well, the crash happens and he loses all ways of communicating with others. I am in no way defending Curly, he's not a great person, but I recognize that he's trying to be, he's just not used to this kind of situation. He feels like a real person. Which is why I personally, don't dislike him, but I see why some do. And that's ok :). I just wanted to rant about him, honestly. If anyone comes at me in a hostile way, I will block you. If you're civil, I will gladly discuss with you!