high-school-fling - Tumblr blog

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Hii I’m back on tumblr again? Anyways here’s a recent pic Kade took of me

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It’s really sad seeing these close friends who do everything together and stuff but don’t like each other????

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One time I was on a trip with my ex visiting his friend who was playing a show, and as we’re in the car, i was having really bad intrusive thoughts about sex and was in my notepad trying to work it out. he asks me what I’m doing so I tell him, and then he gets upset and gives me the silent treatment. He doesn’t introduce me to his friends and literally ignores me for 24 hours until we go home.

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A lot of women who claim to be ‘embracing their sexualities’ aren’t embracing their sexualities, they’re embracing being sexualised. They’re internalising categories made by men and deriving pleasure from the thought of giving men pleasure and of being attractive in the third person and convincing themselves that this is the same thing as genuinely feeling sexual pleasure and agency.

I’m not saying this goes for every woman claiming to embrace her sexuality. But ask yourself, when you say you’re ‘embracing your sexuality’ are you genuinely desiring others in genuine sexual attraction to another person, or are you deriving pleasure and validation from feeling ‘wanted’, feeling sexy and desirable to others with little to no mind in what you desire in them? Do you actually find that other person sexy or are you being sexually aroused by your own objectification? It doesn’t make you a bad person or stupid or weak or anything if you fall into the latter, most women have or still actively do. But it’s something to be aware of and think about how most people, even women, only see women’s sexuality through the lens of the male gaze and how it gives men pleasure.

I feel like most depictions of men’s sexuality in media is the man fully clothed and desiring a conventionally attractive half naked woman, and him deriving pleasure by being attracted to her. While a lot of depictions of women’s sexuality in media is, the woman half naked and conventionally attractive and being desired by a fully clothed man, and her deriving pleasure from being desired. And I get that it’s really, really hard not to internalize that. But we can and should at least start by acknowledging that there’s this difference in how men’s sexuality is often portrayed as desiring others while women’s sexuality is often portrayed as being desirable, and talk about the ways we internalize that and it affects us. When you talk about a woman ‘embracing’ her sexuality, whose sexual desire is she really embracing, her own desire? Or the desire of men?

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u ok ?

Not really but I’ll be güd thank you for asking!