hikarikeeper

[hikarikeeper]

/From this moment on, this place belongs to all the other characters./

[hikarikeeper]

..leaving..

[hikarikeeper]

why am i being ignored again? ..anyway, i won't make the same mistake and force myself on them. the last time i just wanted to be that loving partner and not let meet shitty people, it ended up with me preferring to forget thah fuck. ..do you like to suffer? ok... just stop playing the victim and playing on pity.

[hikarikeeper]

The storming rage and grief

[hikarikeeper]

my heart is a cat that they pick up from the street, only to eventually throw it back out, realizing that it’s not something they can handle.

[hikarikeeper]

this is.. the first time i've seen anything like this.. i've never seen a distorted version of an element.. ..is it because the Energy element is little studied? or is it a fusion that i don't know about yet? i should study it better...

[hikarikeeper]

i'm so fucking sick of it. first they try to convince you to be friends with them, then when you try to do the best AS A FRIEND, they just fucking ignore you as if you're NOTHING. Because what, i wasn't the one who was needed? it wasn't clear who was needed, and in the end i was just look like an idiot. AGAIN. i do it because i really care and want to help, and it makes me look like an assdonk who is meddling in other people's business and in the end i just feel bad. you know, that feeling when you thought someone was waving at you and you wave back, but they weren't waving at you. or because you didn't get the art you casually asked for, and that's it, there's no benefit to communicating with me anymore? So now i can be treated like a fcking empty space? How sweet, as if you are different from many others after that. why wasn't it easier to just come up and ask if i could draw something or not, rather than to make a whole show of friendship for the sake of it and press on my sore spot when i'm already feeling bad.

hhh fuck it. i'm... really tired of trying to be nice to people. i've had enough. i'm trying to see the best in people not to be disappointed again, again and again. i know that i myself am a disappointment, and i'm just trying to be better, but apparently it's just useless. i really thought opening up again would be worth it and everything would be different this time, but everything just went the same way again. i'm just a naive, stupid idiot. i should have learned long ago not to believe in people's friendliness. it's time to close myself off again and beat myself up every time i get the urge to run towards the fucking people again and share something with them, or fucking CARE. i should just shove my fucking empathy up my ass already.

and i again stretched out a couple of paragraphs onto a fucking sheet of text because of my stupid useless emotions. having such a wonderful day yesterday to have such a hellishly terrible one today is like getting drunk after years without alcohol and then remembering why you quit drinking in the first place.

[hikarikeeper]

-= Why am I doing this?.. What am I hoping for?.. - just tell him about your feelings, silly. -= NO- - would you prefer to destroy yourself? what are you afraid of if you have nothing left to lose? -= ..I don't want to make things worse, again.. -= and I'm sure he won't even look in my direction. ..look at me. I'm just a walking mess. - Are you afraid of being rejected? is it easier for you to live in uncertainty than to be completely crushed? even if there is a possibility that you are missing out on a better outcome? ...

[hikarikeeper]

...

[hikarikeeper]

i fkn love him. /pos

[hikarikeeper]

They want me to be everything to them, but i'm never their first priority, again. ..when they do this, i remember how unnecessary and unimportant i almost always was.

[hikarikeeper]

Red panda it's a cat-fox. change my mind.

i also sometimes don't know whether i'm a cat or a fox. Maybe i should try a new look?

[hikarikeeper]

why every time i see him or he is mentioned i feel a longing. it's weird... i thought it was a temporary thing and should have passed long ago. but it doesn't.

[hikarikeeper]

...i feel so terribly homesick i can't sleep.. What about these memories? One of my past lives?.. ... This really raises questions... Why, when i felt the need to find a place to stay, was it this world?.. Why did it bring back memories that i thought were not real?.. Why, with the hobbies i had, did i not touch them until a certain day, as if i was waiting for something specific?.

Were we connected not only in a past life... but... always?... ..or is this nothing more than just another fantasy born from loneliness? .. for the first time in my entire life that i can remember, i felt something different.. yeah, people evoke emotions in me, affection, love, maybe.. but having met him, for the first time, something deep inside me responded...

[hikarikeeper]

wow. just fucking wow. give someone a gift you supposedly love to defiantly take offense at the fact that they didn't react the way you expected them to, to ruin their mood on their birthday for sure. smooth move knuckehead.

i never tire of wondering how much self-centered scum you can be, everything has its limit, but this is fucking SOMETHING.

buddy, you're on the right track to alienate everyone so you can legally cry about how everyone has abandoned you.

quietly casts a curse on diarrhea swearing through the every word

[hikarikeeper]

oh guess what kind of old crap i found, let's suffer now: a tag!

Ange: ..here we fucking go again.. Shade: sup. Ange: oh no not you again 🐶 What would your OC do if they were chased by a dog? -Ange: First of all, i wouldn’t even provoke the dog to start chasing me… i usually get along well with them, or at least i don’t start running in the worst case. -Shade: ....do you really expect me to run away from this insignificant creature? More likely it will run away from ME.

💋 How would they react to getting a kiss? (can be platonic or romantic)

actually it's very individual, but let's assume if it's from someone that Ange likes. Ange at the moment of the kiss: aw, nice :3 Ange after a few hours/days: *sudden realization* wait a minute... they did WHAT- -Shade: kiss me and it will be posthumous, I guarantee.

🌲 What would your OC do in a Minecraft world/server? -Ange: *explore every corner without missing a single pixel on the map* -Shade: *aggressive loot-goblin sounds* everything is good, everything is bad, everything goes to my lair -Corrupt: c... caaaattssssss....... -Shade: where the fuck did you come from. it's for OCs??? -Ange: just let him be. as if anyone even reads the everyday life of this 'shizophreny server'.

🎤 Can your OC sing? -Ange: ... uhh... -Shade: he can. only you ain't gonna get to hear it 'cause that catass is too shy. ...me? No, you'll go deaf. Ange: ....because you're too loud.

💃 Can your OC dance? -Ange: i guess no?.. i don't usually dance. -Shade: what is this for. Let those who like it and who are not deprived of grace do it better than me.

📚 Would your OC cheat in an exam? -Ange: in what kind of-? -Shade: Ange is too honest. I won't even do any kind of exams.

⚡ What mythological god would you associate with your OC? -Ange: i would prefer not to be associated with the gods... -Shade: good question, too bad I don't know much about your gods, I'm not very interested in myths.

🎬 What genre would your OC be into? -Ange: *whisper* .. in what- -Shade: what kind of movie you probably may end into. -Ange: Ah, well.. adventures? -Shade: and me possibly an action movie.

✨ What kind of aesthetic do they like? -Ange: nature and sunsets~ -Shade: THERE WILL BE BLOOD-♪ SHED-♪ -Ange: ... *facepalms*

✊ Would your OC win in a fight against an ostrich?

-Ange: …..??????????????. *connection with the brain was lost* -Shade: Why the hell should I fight an ostrich? Did it rob me? Did it challenge me? If yes, this creature doesn't stand a chance. If it just exists, then what the fuck is wrong with you.

🐾 (If human) If they were to turn into an animal, what animal would they be? -Ange: a cat! -Shade: I'm 100% immune to magic, your morphification will not work on me. -Ange: ..you're not funny -Shade: Oh really? How about I'm going to start entertaining you with some filigreed russian swearing. -Ange: please don't- -Corrupt: ...We have enough of the crap you already taught Glitch. - Shade: not my fault that he learns pretty quickly :>

🦄 (If human) If they were to turn into a mythical creature, what mythical creature would they be?

-Ange: phoenix~ -Shade: dragon ofc -Corrupt: they didn’t ask you, you’re already a dragon. -Shade: why are you still here. - Corrupt: *the image of the middle finger flashed through your mind*

💌 How would they react to a confession? -Ange: (if it's from someone unfamiliar) *got confused and pretended to be a currant bush* -Ange: (if it's from someone sympathetic) * won't believe in the reality of what is happening, won't find anything to say, will be happy, perhaps, or confused - it is difficult to predict- it’s not like there was a lot of confessions to him... i don’t even remember the last time this happened.* -Shade: "?" "You clearly have shitty taste buddy." "Think again." "I don't recommend it." "Not interested."

💗 How would they confess? They wouldn't :> -Ange: i'd rather not hope for anything mutual, or even try at all. i'm tired of getting my soul broken... -Shade: just no. love is just a way of manipulation and weakness.

💀 If they were one of the 7 sins, what sin would they be?

-Ange: ...wrath. :3 -Shade: wrath, maybe greed. ..who came up with these stupid sins? -Ange: oh no... -Shade: I can call greed a real sin, but the rest? ridiculous. -Ange: let's just finish this poll already-

💘 What kind of person is their ideal type?

-Ange: honest and sincere... -Shade: it doesn't matter anymore anyway.

🎁 What kind of gift would they give at birthdays? -Ange: something made with my own hands to show how important a person is to me.. -Shade: a chance not to die from my claws.

👹 How much patience does you OC have? Are they patient? Or are they easily irritable?

Ange is the living embodiment of patience. Shade, on the other hand, tolerates only those whom he respects, while others, if they do something that he openly doesn't like, will cause him instant irritation.

☠ How petty are they? And what length of pettiness would they go for?

-Ange: i always couldn't understand this concept correctly.. and honestly, i don’t know for sure, maybe it depends on the situation... -Shade: hardly.

🔪 (More than one OC) If your all of your OCs played among us, who'd be the best imposter? And who'd be the worst?

Ange: worst Shade: best

🛌 What kind of sleep schedule does your OC have?

-Ange: ... sleep schedule?. -Shade: sleep?

🍽 What kind of food do they like?

Both: fried and spicy!

🍻 Do they drink? If so, how strong is their alcohol tolerance?

Ange drinks in moderation; he cannot drink more than a bottle of something too strong at once. Shade's alcohol tolerance is VERY strong tho, he can drink about a box of strong alcohol and barely get drunk because his dragon body burns it as fuel.

🍺 If your OC drinks, what is their go to alcohol?

Ange: i'm neutral about it, for me it's nothing more than a painkiller for the soul. Now that everything is back to normal, i don't need it... Shade: it's just fun for me. it wasn't uncommon for me to win a drink bet. haha, they didn’t even know who they were messing with... :> ...Wow that's all already? whatever- as always, tag youself if you want lmao-

[hikarikeeper]

…every time i see someone holding Soul by the tail, i have a desire to break this person’s hands- like, uh. it's not that nice?.. i don't know what's wrong with me. this just looks like some kind of unpleasant gesture to me…

probably because i, like a cat, feel something unpleasant in this action. Yeh….