active March 2022 - read pinned - NSFW 18+ - 31 (she/her) - queer af - pisces sun | virgo moon | sag rising
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oh where have i beeeen?
waddup, i haven't been around all month so i thought i'd update with the highlights of my weird fucking life and also apologize (as if i need to) for being so sporadic.
irl, i'm an attorney, and i work in reproductive justice. i help minors get abortions and work with nonprofits across the US. it's great work, but it's hard work.
in my state i've been working on a bill to secure reproductive rights and abortion rights and it got introduced the day i got surgery 3/3. so that's why the month was a shit show. i had to go to the state capitol and testify, i had to work with state reps on their questions about the bill, a whole bunch of wild stuff.
the good news is that my bill passed through both houses of our general assembly and is at the governor's desk :)
during all this i got a nasty bout of the flu. i know i am actually for real relapsing because i couldn't manage to break my current eating patterns even though i literally felt like i was dying. i still only had one meal a day and because i was so sick, it was like bullshit food. probably didn't help the length of the illness but whatever, i feel better now.
only other related update is that my fucking mom finally came to see me - she didn't know i was sick, because she never calls me. i had told my grandma, because she called me, and then i made the decision that i wasn't going to go out of my fucking way to announce my illness to my own mom. she'd know if she ever fucking checked in on me. even a text. well, she finds out, she comes over to my house to see me and drop off a present from an aunt, and in the 5 fucking minutes she's here she manages to get out "well at least you look like you've lost a few pounds"
no fucking shit sherlock, but also, really? you're going to look your 31 year old daughter - whose eating disorder treatment you paid for - in the eyes and let her know that you still watch her weight, that you still notice when she's lost weight, and that you STILL think it's a good idea to tell her you value the fact that she's smaller now than the last time you saw her? totally cool and healthy adult activities. why can't you just ask me if i need fucking soup or dayquil or a fucking hug like a normal fucking mom?
christ.
so that's it. i can't believe march is almost already over. i have lots of goals for june coming up and i need to buckle down again, my weight loss has slowed way down and i know it's because my body has been through hell this month with the surgery and that flu and the stress of the bill. i'm hoping it evens out in april.
xxx
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tw: daily ed vent/rant
i thought i wouldn't have any more mini-goals until june but i'm obsessive and crazy so that was a lieee lol
hello hello i know i'm posting more sporadically than i was, but there's a shit ton going on at work and recovery from this surgery has been fucking shitty!
when i weighed in at the hospital before surgery, with all my clothes AND shoes on, I was 227.7. my LW before surgery and before the vegas trip was 225, so i likely didn't gain (and actually lost) while i was in vegas. i didn't bother weighing myself in between the vegas trip and surgery bc it was going to stress me tf out and i am trying to harm reduce and actually eat a little normally so i heal more quickly. the fucking polyp they removed from my uterus was pretty big, like 2.5x2cm big, and i've been so sore and crampy/spotting. it's really not been fun at all and i'd like to heal more quickly...
but that's basically gone out the window since yesterday (of course) and now i'm high restricting and OMADing again. i let myself go during the fucking weekend because of birthday events, but now that's thankfully fucking over.
i realized i do have a few milestones coming up, and I am honing in on sub-200 (fucking finally) and i love to tie my weight loss goals with these fucking events (who doesn't?!). these are the weights i'm hoping i can hit and my monthly-ish deadlines to stay motivated:
April 5 Tattoo!! - 215lbs
May 3 trip to Orlando - 205lbs
June 16 yoga retreat (and then trip to NYC for pride!) - 190lbs
I had originally wanted to be at 175lbs for the NYC trip, but it's just not realisitic with the minor set backs/harm reduction i've done. it is what it is. i'm working to be sub-200 by mid-may, basically 10 weeks from now. that's nothing and i can definitely do it.
i also started going to yoga again, 2-3x a week, but am still not using my peloton very much (oops). at least my husband uses it almost daily so i don't feel guilty. i might start ramping it up again in May to compensate for my calorie adjustments. we'll see.
xxx
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