hippaforalkus - Tumblr blog

[hippaforalkus]

So much more than a rat

[hippaforalkus]

"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

[hippaforalkus]

I am completely speechless on this one

[hippaforalkus]

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

[hippaforalkus]

so fond of characters who haunt their stories, who exist without actually existing at all. when a character is long gone, but persists in the actions and words of all the characters they have left behind. when everything to come unfolds because of them. when they are both dead and the beating heart at the very center of the narrative... that’s the stuff 💗__💗

[hippaforalkus]

now you too can be nostalgic for a game that doesn’t exist

[hippaforalkus]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

[hippaforalkus]

these are very wise (and very real) words. believe me.

[hippaforalkus]

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

[hippaforalkus]

what if you just keep getting worse?

well, you learn to stop hoping for certain kinds of things, but you also learn to look forward to others. you learn to be flexible about the future but you also learn to find joy in the simplest of moments. you discover how much love and support you can receive from total strangers, and how good some parts of the world are, and there will be parts that are bad and people who will fall through, but you learn how to pick yourself up and keep crawling anyway. You find ways to encourage yourself to do things that others would consider no effort at all, and you take pride in the tiniest of accomplishments

I am starting to cook for myself again after years of avoiding it because I found some advice that actually works for neurodivergent disabled people. I got married last month. I have four cats and a dog and a balcony full of plants I keep forgetting to water, and I am sicker than I have ever been—but I’m so much happier too.

You spend your whole life thinking “if this thing fails on me the world will end” and then one day the thing fails and you wake up the next morning anyway. You keep waking up every morning anyway, no matter how many things fail, and you learn how to ask for kinds of help you didn’t even know a person could offer, and some days you realize you’re not just putting one inevitable foot in front of the other but you’re living your life.

You’re alive. People may tease you for being proud of having made it to thirty but it’s the biggest accomplishment of your life. You could have died or given up or allowed the misery to take you a hundred times, but you kept putting that foot in front of the other one. You kept waking up.

So yes, you are worse. You’re never going to get better. But at the same time, you are better than you have ever been in your life.

[hippaforalkus]

Crumbling

[hippaforalkus]

he has the ultimate power

✨ print ✨

[hippaforalkus]

Having a sidebar about gender and pronouns in your indie RPG is de rigueur these days, but I have to confess I wouldn't know where to begin. The supported player character types in my most recently published games have variously included sapient jellyfish, sinister hovering orbs, and creatures so abstract that their human players aren't allowed to know what the words on their character sheets mean when play begins. Forthcoming titles I'm currently working on will add "two-inch-tall frog wizards", "the sapient reproductive apparatus of a fungal hive mind", and "a deep space bounty hunter who is secretly a person-size mech suit operated by fugitive space gerbils" to the list. I feel like unpacking enough assumptions to drill down to the level of pronouns is one of those beyond-the-scope-of-this-text propositions.

[hippaforalkus]

im always like hehe im so smart i will avoid shame by never doing anything ever but then i feel ashamed of not living and it turns out i didn't escape any sort of discomfort i just traded it in for a less rewarding kind

[hippaforalkus]

sample size etc im trying to prove im so correct and valid actually

[hippaforalkus]

my buddy